Who recovers, who loses

[Guest guest]

At 07:02 PM 1/25/2009, you wrote:

> >The foundation for ANY healing protocol must come from a place of

>positive emotion and belief, for without this, no stage can be set,

>no foundation laid for a strong house.

> >

This seems to be quite true, but I think we can explore further.

I have seen thousands of people with cancer over decades and because

of the nature of my program I get to know many of them quite well. I

constantly search for factors that seem to affect outcomes. Some

factors are obvious: Can the patient afford the requisite meds? How

disciplined is the patient? Is there multiple drug resistance that

would undermine a fresh approach?

When I go over the numbers of people who do extremely well with the

worst cancers, I see a major factor that can't be characterized

better than by saying how upbeat they are. This upbeatness seems to

be closely associated with both their intrinsic nature and often

their religion.

If anyone on the list is shopping for a religion, I can help. Pick

one that emphasizes the positive. I don't think it is beneficial to

dwell on perdition, shame, guilt, or even too much thinking about

spiritual matters. Pick a religion that strongly emphasizes service

to others. Pick a religion with a sense of community -- especially a

community that will support your medical choices. I see a sense of

joy, and humor, and general upbeatness that I don't see elsewhere.

If religions rub you the wrong way, find an organization that you

believe in that stresses service to others even though those services

are largely limited to those within the group. AA jumps to mind. If

your organization or religion doesn't buy into

alternative/integrative medicine, then keep details of your approach

to health very selective.

Another thing to keep in mind is that not all cancer support groups

are created equal. I have had many clients who were virtual refugees

from conventional support groups. They would watch as their

new-found friends would die one by one. Any alternative suggestions

were met with hostility. I think such groups are cults created to

worship physicians and misery. The same is true for some of the

on-line groups.

If upbeatness is not a part of your nature it can still be attained

obliquely through service, but there is one type of upbeatness that

is not in your interest. This is unwarranted ebullience. It is not

in your interest to have your emotions whipsawed by numbers on your

tumor marker tests or any other single parameter. In cancer, things

are rarely as good as they may seem and rarely as bad as they

seem. A certain equanimity can serve you well in patiently assessing

your situation.

Equally important is belief, as this allows you to relax. That

belief can be a belief in an omnipotent God who loves you enormously,

or it can be an unshakable faith in the road chosen, it can even be a

smug belief that you can solve every problem yourself.

I think that loving your work helps inoculate you against serious

disease. We have a 75 y/o immunologist on the board of our center

who has metastatic renal cancer. This was diagnosed four years

ago. He was told he had about a month to live. He is not a good

patient. Quality of life, he says. I think he has cheese with every

meal. He is totally distracted by his work. He flies around the

world giving speeches at immunology conferences, spends time in the

lab, writes papers (some 350 peer-reviewed), and applies for

grants. He and I have set up a new lab to make meds that are

otherwise unobtainable. I think he plans to be on this planet from

here on out. He is one very upbeat man.

I had a case of a woman with breast cancer whose abdomen was rigid

with metastases. She came to Del Mar, CA to do our program, but she

would miss appointments because she was having too much fun

shopping. It was a little frustrating for me. Her cancer just

melted away. I found out later that when she came here she was also

escaping an abusive husband. When she kept her appointments she

would spend much of the time laughing.

There was a woman who came to me last July. She had massive cancers

filling her entire left breast. All her physicians -- both

conventional and integrative -- strongly recommended surgery. She

declined. She said she liked her breasts. This woman has been very

diligent doing the program -- unlike the last woman I mentioned. We

had an ultrasound elastogram done this week and her cancer is almost

entirely gone. What little remains appears mostly benign and cannot

be palpated. She has also lost about 40 unwanted pounds thanks to

the diet. The woman is a nationally known cartoonist and sees the

humor in almost anything.

Who are the losers in spite of winning therapies? First of all those

who want to die. I see this most often among women who were once

very proud of their bodies and have been horribly mutilated by

surgery. I am not talking about a simple mastectomy. There are

bodies that look like they have been through a war zone. These women

fear rejection or have been rejected by their love interest. It is

sad and I have no facile solution.

Passive or lazy people tend to lose and this includes those who are

too philosophical about their cancer. These people need to learn

that they create their own destiny. I am always looking for ways to

light a fire under their tails to get them motivated.

Hostile people tend to lose. I am careful to distinguish whether a

person is argumentative for non-hostile reasons. I once had a woman

whom I thought was hostile but she did very well. You learn from

those cases that you think you are going to win and then lose, and

from those cases that you think you are going to lose and then

win. I analyzed her case: why did she win? It turns out she is a

businesswoman and her arguments were always over money. Her

arguments over money were sincere -- she truly hated to spend money

-- but in retrospect I think there was a strong element of sport in

it. So often truly hostile people want to escape something or hurt

someone. Some people fight to live; I think this woman lived to fight !!!

If anyone knows a good service-oriented, non-accusatory religion, let

me know so I can sign up. Oh, its gotta have a Black choir !!