Personal update: metastatic colorectal cancer

[Guest guest]

List:

I had an MRI ten weeks ago. Both my oncologist and my radiologist

seemed genuinely concerned. They had no explanation for the

shrinkage, but they were both very sure I would be a goner in a

couple of months if I didn't do the pelvic exenteration where the

surgeon would have a field day. I told them no as the earlier scan

showed metastasis to my lungs and surgery would not be curative. The

physicians wanted me to compromise and at least do a biopsy. Again I

told them no. Without permission in October '09 they did a biopsy

and within two months it had expanded from 2 cm to 8 cm, taken over

all my pelvic organs and gone to my lungs. It was even written in my

file and signed by me that I did not want to be biopsied.

Now here is where I, the ultimate rationalist, become irrational. I

have inserted my right index finger into a thousand butts but I can't

make myself examine myself. I told the oncologist that I suspected

it was growing. He immediately agreed to another MRI which I did

yesterday. He put a rush on it in case I needed emergency

surgery. I got the results last night. The tumor has shrunk down to

5 cm (2 inches) long and 1.5 cm (a smidge over 1/2 inch) at its

thickest. This calculates out to about a 40% reduction in tumor mass

over the last ten weeks.

My diet has been quite lenient. I have been trying to reclaim lost

weight and this has been successful. I'm up to 165 lbs. I have

tried a number of experimental things on myself -- shamelessly

violating many patents.

I'm not out of the woods; I well know the pitfalls. I think the main

one is prematurely stopping therapy. This is exactly what happened

to my friend, the actor Hines. He was in superb health, he

stopped his therapies for a week while his conventional doc ran tests

to find out why he was doing so well, meanwhile the cancer mushroomed

in his lungs and killed him.

I look for patterns as to who does well among late-stage cancers. One

of the strongest patterns would be those who take their cancers very

seriously but just don't worry. I am lucky in that I easily fit in

this category. When I tell this to the worrywarts they add this to

the list of things to worry about.

There is another area that should always be addressed. This is the

relationship of an adult version of " failure to thrive " and cachexia

(wasting). Look around you -- those who do the best have a very

robust lust for life.

Last week the Center had a participant -- a very nice man with

advanced stomach cancer -- who wanted to donate some of his fine art

collection to the Center. I laughed and told him no. That is the

kind of crap that people do when they are preparing to die. I told

him I would be much happier if he was trying to finagle me out of MY

art collection. In the past I would tell participants that if they

made out a will, then tear it up as they aren't going to need it. It

is a great way to start the program. But I stopped this as I

thought, what if they did die -- this is not very practical advice.

Till next time,