Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 In a message dated 1/7/08 6:51:20 PM Eastern Standard Time, aug20@... writes: > CALL THE POLICE Get an order of protection. If you can possibly move, do so and have an unlisted phone number. Get yourself a taser gun. There are women's support groups that will help you with all the details. You may have developed cancer from all the stress, abuse and low self esteem that this brings to a woman. There are many triggers for cancer and this is one of them. You must save all your energy for fighting the cancer and not living in terror for your life from your husband. Best, ************** Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2008 Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Barbara, I know this is a board on which to talk about cancer--how to heal from it, and how to prevent it. The only thing relevant in my reply to you is that I doubt you can do a good job of healing from cancer with a physically/emotionall abusive husband threatening and hurting you. I therefore cannot suggest strongly enough that the very next time he abuses you in any way, you CALL THE POLICE. The police will come, usually two GREAT BIG ONES, and they will either arrest him on the spot, or will give him ONE and ONLY ONE warning, that the next time they come back he is DEFINITELY GOING TO JAIL. Meanwhile, if you are worried he will do you any more hurt, you can go to a women's shelter until such time as your husband has vacated your home for good. That's my answer, cut and dried. I will say no more. " Men " such as your husband NEED TO BE STOPPED OR ARRESTED BY THE LAW. Best wishes, Elliot >Thank you , I agree! Yesterdays Newspaper, i like that. I will be better off, now it's just encouraging him to go now! I'm going to be talking to him all this week to tell him that it will be better for both of us. The only thing is I won't let him have what is mine! I want to see an attorney. We own four acres of land and our home. I want my part. I should not post here anymore because I'm off the topic. If anyone wants to talk to me please email me privately, i will be glad to email you back. i'm going to need someone to talk to. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Taser gun! Now that would be good! I wish I would have had one when he was slapping me and choking me, one zap and he would have been on his butt! thanks to all of you for your help and support on this matter. I'm sure that the abuse has a lot to do with the cancer fact. Now to find a way out of this mess. I want to call and talk to the woman councilor today in hopes that she might have some suggestions for me. I don't know where to go, I don't want him to have our home all to himself. I can't give that over to him too. I don't have any income, no way to support myself at all. I used a gift card yesterday to buy food for me some fruits and veggies. When this is all I don't know what will be next. He buys what he likes the most it seems, there's never enough money he says to eat the way I need to eat. He's sure to buy his coffee and junk that he wants. So, I'm hoping and praying that something will come about. I don't know what the kids will think. Our oldest daughter supports her dad. It will be small steps at a time. while waiting and wondering what my next step will be I'm just praying for peace and quiet. Barbara **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Hi, I can relate to this I took the abuse forever thinking things will change, then I got breast cancer things got worse I went thru all the appointments and surgery chemotherpy alone... he had no compasion what so ever ..when I came home after surgery he wouldn't help me rewrap myself or wash up, it was miserable ..I went and put my applacation in one of the subized housing places and moved out ...a.s.a.p. ...he beat me up 2 times after this move...not much you can do ...I got a baseball bat by my door and in my car now and I have 2 GREAT DANES.... NO ONE WILL EVER BEAT ME AGIAN ...HE TRIED ONCE - WONT EVER AGIAN HE GOT NAILED GOOD. MY DOGS ARE VERY AGRESSIVE AND PROTECTIVE...ARE AS GENTLE AS KITTENS UNTIL SOMEONE TRIES TO MESS WITH ME. The police..what a joke, call them, he gets a slap on the hand, while I end up with black and blue marks from him. HE STAY'S CLEAR OF ME AND I DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH OUT MY DOGS THEY WEIGH 130+++ POUNDS EACH ... STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF ...DON'T TAKE IT! IT ONLY MAKES YOUR HEALTH WORSE AND HARDER TO RECOVER AND GET YOUR LIFE BACK, HE DESTROYED MY TRUST AND MY EMOTIONAL WELL BEING FOR 16 YEARS. AM NOW REBUILDING MY LIFE. I HAVE AN IN HOME WORKER. SHE IS GREAT. HELPS ME SO MUCH . IF YOU NEED ME TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURSES, LET ME KNOW...I WILL HELP YOU ... WHERE DO YOU LIVE ,I AM IN MINNESOTA. Thing with having cancer, you end up for the most part starting over in all aspects in life. it seems your friends you think you have just dissapear. I can't say why but it happens even family members ... I had to start over ....build relationsships with new friends even if it is over the internet. I gained support. I gained friends who understand WHAT WE GO THRU... IT IS VERY HARD BUT WORTH IT ... huggs and blessings to you. in Minnesota Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Hello, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Stress will contribute to breaking down your immune system and is a major contribution to bad health in general. I know when my ex wife found out that I had cancer, she filed for a divorce and the combination put me in a depression that I am still dealing with after three years. Get into a support group asap. I will keep you in my prayers. Al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 In a message dated 1/8/08 9:23:52 AM Eastern Standard Time, bk4529@... writes: > I don't know where to go, I don't want > him to have our home all to himself. I can't give that over to him too. I > don't have any income, no way to support myself at all. I used a gift card > yesterday to buy food for me some fruits and veggies. This is what happens to women who are abused..they don't plan ahead and start squirreling money away before they leave...that's ok...there must be a domestic violence support system in place somewhere near you. They will help you escape, find housing, a job...it's probably best if you can get out of the area with your children...move across the country and start anew. You can start a new life and get your health back. ************** Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 I think we should take this off list now. ************** Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 In a message dated 1/8/08 9:54:16 PM Eastern Standard Time, bk4529@... writes: > He has direct deposit and the check book! There's no squirreling away > money here. My children are all grown and have children of their own. can you live with them temporarily? > I would be by myself. I'm still talking to some people. > > I am 64 years old..was in a 20 year emotionally abusive relationship and > have been alone ever since...except for sat nights and some holidays, I love my > solitude and freedom. I watch movies on TV, paint, talk on the phone, take > walks, cook, visit friends, decorate my home, read, collage, etc. There are > classes you can take and new friends to meet and volunteer work makes life > full and happy. My husband > apologized to me again today. They always do..it's the pattern...abuse then apology and then the honeymoon and then abuse again. Only YOU can break the cycle. Any person who is cruel to another person suffering from cancer should be tarred and feathered and definitely left behind. i k now he's afraid that i will go to > an attorney and take his settlement > from him. And well you should. > I'll be alright, it's just going to be so different about all of > these years of doing things together and talking and not being there. This is what women tell themselves..they rmember the good times and it keeps them from facing the abuse. You need to get into a domestic women's support group so you can clearly see yourself and become strong. There are men who stab their wifes to death, shoot them, strangle them and the women go back to them because they remember the good times. When you see in others how crazy and self destructive this is, you will gain strength. > I got upset yesterday when my daughter handed me his Costco card, I > saw his picture on there, am I crazy or what? Why did she hand it to you? Can you use it? > Barbara > ************** Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 In a message dated 1/8/08 10:00:23 PM Eastern Standard Time, bk4529@... writes: > I > have 2 GREAT DANES.... Good for you! Dogs are very healing and people who have dogs live much longer than those that don't! ************** Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 She had borrowed his card and gave it back to me. Yes, I could use it too. They only allow members to shop there. Barbara **************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape. http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 He has direct deposit and the check book! There's no squirreling away money here. My children are all grown and have children of their own. I would be by myself. I'm still talking to some people. My husband apologized to me again today. i k now he's afraid that i will go to an attorney and take his settlement from him. I'll be alright, it's just going to be so different about all of these years of doing things together and talking and not being there. I got upset yesterday when my daughter handed me his Costco card, I saw his picture on there, am I crazy or what? Barbara > > I don't know where to go, I don't want > > him to have our home all to himself. I can't give that over to him too. I > > don't have any income, no way to support myself at all. I used a gift card > > yesterday to buy food for me some fruits and veggies. > > This is what happens to women who are abused..they don't plan ahead and start > squirreling money away before they leave...that's ok...there must be a > domestic violence support system in place somewhere near you. They will help you > escape, find housing, a job...it's probably best if you can get out of the area > with your children...move across the country and start anew. You can start a > new life and get your health back. > > > ************** > Start the year off right. > Easy ways to stay in shape. > > http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise? NCID=aolcmp00300000002489 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 , I'm sorry to hear about your abuse and so HAPPY to hear that you stood up to him! I wonder about this type of people, maybe some day they'll need someone and who will be there for them. Beating on women! It's low, it's no other way to put it. I'd like to see them go to a man their size and punch them and see what happens then. I do believe thathe is the cause of the cancer too. I'm in Virginia a good ways from you. Maybe I should check there on the housing thing. thanks for telling me about this. Barbara > > Hi, I can relate to this I took the abuse forever thinking things will change, then I got breast cancer things got worse I went thru all the appointments and surgery chemotherpy alone... he had no compasion what so ever ..when I came home after surgery he wouldn't help me rewrap myself or wash up, it was miserable ..I went and put my applacation in one of the subized housing places and moved out ...a.s.a.p. ...he beat me up 2 times after this move...not much you can do ...I got a baseball bat by my door and in my car now and I have 2 GREAT DANES.... NO ONE WILL EVER BEAT ME AGIAN ...HE TRIED ONCE - WONT EVER AGIAN HE GOT NAILED GOOD. MY DOGS ARE VERY AGRESSIVE AND PROTECTIVE...ARE AS GENTLE AS KITTENS UNTIL SOMEONE TRIES TO MESS WITH ME. The police..what a joke, call them, he gets a slap on the hand, while I end up with black and blue marks from him. HE STAY'S CLEAR OF ME AND I DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH OUT MY DOGS THEY WEIGH 130+++ POUNDS EACH ... STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF ...DON'T TAKE IT! IT ONLY MAKES YOUR HEALTH WORSE AND HARDER TO RECOVER AND GET YOUR LIFE BACK, HE DESTROYED MY TRUST AND MY EMOTIONAL WELL BEING FOR 16 YEARS. AM NOW REBUILDING MY LIFE. I HAVE AN IN HOME WORKER. SHE IS GREAT. HELPS ME SO MUCH . IF YOU NEED ME TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURSES, LET ME KNOW...I WILL HELP YOU ... WHERE DO YOU LIVE ,I AM IN MINNESOTA. > Thing with having cancer, you end up for the most part starting over in all aspects in life. it seems your friends you think you have just dissapear. I can't say why but it happens even family members ... I had to start over ...build relationsships with new friends even if it is over the internet. I gained support. I gained friends who understand WHAT WE GO THRU... IT IS VERY HARD BUT WORTH IT ... huggs and blessings to you. > in Minnesota > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 I am trying to find someone to talk to. I will have my grandson on friday so it might have to wait til next week. It's not easy Al going through this. thanks for your prayers. Barbara > > Hello, > > I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Stress will contribute to breaking down your immune system and is a major contribution to bad health in general. > > I know when my ex wife found out that I had cancer, she filed for a divorce and the combination put me in a depression that I am still dealing with after three years. > > Get into a support group asap. > > I will keep you in my prayers. > > Al > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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