Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Sometimes we just need to laugh. >------------------------------- > WHAT I BEEN SAYING! > > you gotta read it all....woohoo....yepper, life is short, eat > desert first! > > " Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground. " > Icke >-------------- > I love this Doctor! > <image001.jpg> > Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong > life. Is this true? > A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't > waste on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. > > > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? > A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. is distilled > wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even > more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up! > > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? > A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. > If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc. > > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular > exercise program? > A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No > pain...good! > > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? > A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. > In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be > bad for you?!? > > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around > the middle? > A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You > should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. > > Q: Is chocolate bad for me? > A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! > It best feel-good food around! > > Q: Is swimming good for your figure? > A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.. > > Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? > A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! > Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have > had about food and diets. > > And remember: > > Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of > arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather > to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the > other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming " WOO- > HOO, what a ride!! " > > AND..... > > For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on > nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all > those conflicting nutritional studies. > > 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks > than Americans. > > 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than > Americans. > > 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart > attacks than Americans. > > 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart > attacks than Americans.. > > 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats > and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. > > CONCLUSION: > Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what > kills you. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.