THE SILENT DEATH & THE SPARK OF HOPE.

[Guest guest]

Gentlemen,

This blog represent a unique source of information, support and hope

for a lot of us. Each and everyone of us has a specific diagnosis to

adress, a specific abnormality, malfunction causing our bodies to

depend on external intervention to function to their full capacity.

And we are so lucky to have these medications at our disposal. Waking

up everyday can be a battle and starting your daily routine can at

times represent an overwhelming challenge. Why even getting out of

bed? I know how the day will go by, I know the people I work with who

are healthier than me are going to surpass my performance and make me

look like a loser. One must fight everyday to keep his job, keep his

love one, and keep the spark that keeps us alive and moving forward.

What if that spark was weak, what if it did not even exist. How do you

deal with the fact of reality. You are a different animal who lacks

the very essential elements that makes a man, a man. But society and

even our spouses, if we can have one, will not wait around for ever

for us to " put our shit together " and join the game. On the fringe of

a fast moving world, I used to contemplate, observe and passively

suffer the inexplicable lack of life in me. I was in my teens, smoking

dope and drinking with my friends. Everyday I was mistaken for a girl,

walking into a store, meeting someone new, going to parties. My peers

were becoming men. They had deep voices strong bodies, were playing

sports. They were growing a beard, had hair under their arm and on

their legs. They were undergoing puberty and it worked well for them.

They were happy, running around, with girls, socializing, networking

loving sports of all kind while going with their buddies. I was on an

other planet. Lucky however to have good friends, on the fringe like

me, who had decided to be more bohemian and " cool " . Indulging in

passivity , drugs, alcohol, the Arts and music. But everyday, I wanted

to die. Every time someone called me Miss, I wanted to die, every time

I saw another guy my age looking and acting like a man, I wanted to.

The college happened in my 20s. In a blur of hashish and booze. I

passed and got my bachelor. I suspect that some of the professors

allowed me to pass because they recognized my distress. We are

animals. We do possess instincts that tell us more than words could

ever express. As the empty shell I was went to oral examination it was

clear to them that their was a problem there. This guy is not right.

Lets help him out. Now you rely on pity to build up your achievements.

The same thing happened throughout my career. I met powerful

businessmen who decided to help out. They were not jumping on the

opportunity to hire a killer. Then Post graduate school happened. I

had a girlfriend then. A wonderful, jovial, pretty woman whom I

treated like a piece of shit because I had nothing to provide to

anyone, not even her. Too busy I was to establish some form of routine

and discipline that would keep me going to walk to school and

congregate with my peers, 5 years younger and more man than I ever had

been. What does hypo does to your brain functions? Beyond the physical

lack of manhood, there must be cerebral deficiency as well.

Concentration was weak, hard work helped and I did pass. Well after

doubling the third year. But I did pass. The last exam was an oral

examination. I got B-, but I passed. To this day I still wonder

whether pity had anything to do with my passing the test. At 27 I

joined The work force. And I decided to see a urologist. He

misdiagnosed an androgen receptor problem and put me on some

testosterone undecanoate that worked some but not enough. From 28 to

34 I was an alcoholic still taking this wrong medication that I was

getting from France (thats were I grew up, moved to the states in

1998). then Started Androgel, then found the strength to accept my

condition and join this wonderful group and talk to you all. I am 37

now and have had success with the gel. But just last week was I

diagnosed with hypopituitarism. Going to see a new Ando who

supposingly knows his shit in the near future will get the cocktail I

want. We'll see. I am behind at work and in my relationship. I spend a

lot of energy staying alive and it does not leave much to over

acheive, which is what is expected from a man in his late 30's.

But last Sunday, I went and played softball for the first time. I was

on a team and they let me play even though I didn't know the rules. I

was in great shape since the gym is an everyday thing for me and the

gel, the DIM, the DHEA and the zinc make me feel like a million bucks!

I had never been as happy as I was last Sunday after the game. I did

it, I was one of the guys playing sports and it felt great. Getting

there on the field and trying to contribute to the team effort was the

shit. We can do it. We must continue the fight with no guaranty and

with the knowledge that we are junkies. Forever. Get out there,

fuck'em all, you can do it, you will, one day at a time.

This is my story. I want to hear your story. Anyone, let me have it.

Thanks buddies.

[Guest guest]

Polo I feel your pain and am so happy for you that your doing better. I am also

Hypopituitary and it only took me 23 yrs to figure this out and it was me not

any Dr. that figured this out you can read my story at this link and below the

link is an addishion to it.

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/stories-of-others/phils-story/

=======================================================

Though it's most common with women, men are not immune from having low

ferritin. Phil, a thyroid, adrenal and pituitary patient who specializes in

men's issues, states:

I had a lot of problems and couldn't pinpoint what was holding me back. My

testosterone levels on meds were good; my HC meds were working; my thyroid

levels were better; bI didn't get sick anymore in the winter.

Still I went to bed fatigued and got up fatigued. I had a high pulse rate over

110 bpm at rest. I was out of breath just from getting a glass of water.

Sometime, I felt as if I would pass out. I had mucus stuck in my throat just at

the bottom of my neck, and had to hack over and over to get it up so I could

breathe.

To be honest with you I felt like I had congestive heart failure. Here I am

on Florinef for low aldosterone levels, yet I was holding water so bad that I

needed to take water pills every other day. It made no sense.

Finally, the women on a group I belong to pushed me into testing Ferritin.

My levels come back below normal. I was at 18 and the low end of the range is

29. After taking 212 mgs. of elemental iron from Ferrous Fumarate 324 mg., my

Ferritin come up to only 24 after taking this for 7 weeks.

Yet my breathing is so much better. I fly up and down stairs without getting

our of breath. I stopped taking meds to help me breathe, as well as a med for

reflux. I have dropped 22 lbs since using iron while being on the Weight

Watchers program, while before, I gained on Weight Watchers. I am now getting

exercise and not housebound. My feelings of depression have lessened, and hell,

my sex life is better. I asked my Dr. why my iron levels are so low, and he

feels it's the hypopituitary problem with so many low hormones.

Polo Gabi <spochet@...> wrote:

Gentlemen,

This blog represent a unique source of information, support and hope

for a lot of us. Each and everyone of us has a specific diagnosis to

adress, a specific abnormality, malfunction causing our bodies to

depend on external intervention to function to their full capacity.

And we are so lucky to have these medications at our disposal. Waking

up everyday can be a battle and starting your daily routine can at

times represent an overwhelming challenge. Why even getting out of

bed? I know how the day will go by, I know the people I work with who

are healthier than me are going to surpass my performance and make me

look like a loser. One must fight everyday to keep his job, keep his

love one, and keep the spark that keeps us alive and moving forward.

What if that spark was weak, what if it did not even exist. How do you

deal with the fact of reality. You are a different animal who lacks

the very essential elements that makes a man, a man. But society and

even our spouses, if we can have one, will not wait around for ever

for us to " put our shit together " and join the game. On the fringe of

a fast moving world, I used to contemplate, observe and passively

suffer the inexplicable lack of life in me. I was in my teens, smoking

dope and drinking with my friends. Everyday I was mistaken for a girl,

walking into a store, meeting someone new, going to parties. My peers

were becoming men. They had deep voices strong bodies, were playing

sports. They were growing a beard, had hair under their arm and on

their legs. They were undergoing puberty and it worked well for them.

They were happy, running around, with girls, socializing, networking

loving sports of all kind while going with their buddies. I was on an

other planet. Lucky however to have good friends, on the fringe like

me, who had decided to be more bohemian and " cool " . Indulging in

passivity , drugs, alcohol, the Arts and music. But everyday, I wanted

to die. Every time someone called me Miss, I wanted to die, every time

I saw another guy my age looking and acting like a man, I wanted to.

The college happened in my 20s. In a blur of hashish and booze. I

passed and got my bachelor. I suspect that some of the professors

allowed me to pass because they recognized my distress. We are

animals. We do possess instincts that tell us more than words could

ever express. As the empty shell I was went to oral examination it was

clear to them that their was a problem there. This guy is not right.

Lets help him out. Now you rely on pity to build up your achievements.

The same thing happened throughout my career. I met powerful

businessmen who decided to help out. They were not jumping on the

opportunity to hire a killer. Then Post graduate school happened. I

had a girlfriend then. A wonderful, jovial, pretty woman whom I

treated like a piece of shit because I had nothing to provide to

anyone, not even her. Too busy I was to establish some form of routine

and discipline that would keep me going to walk to school and

congregate with my peers, 5 years younger and more man than I ever had

been. What does hypo does to your brain functions? Beyond the physical

lack of manhood, there must be cerebral deficiency as well.

Concentration was weak, hard work helped and I did pass. Well after

doubling the third year. But I did pass. The last exam was an oral

examination. I got B-, but I passed. To this day I still wonder

whether pity had anything to do with my passing the test. At 27 I

joined The work force. And I decided to see a urologist. He

misdiagnosed an androgen receptor problem and put me on some

testosterone undecanoate that worked some but not enough. From 28 to

34 I was an alcoholic still taking this wrong medication that I was

getting from France (thats were I grew up, moved to the states in

1998). then Started Androgel, then found the strength to accept my

condition and join this wonderful group and talk to you all. I am 37

now and have had success with the gel. But just last week was I

diagnosed with hypopituitarism. Going to see a new Ando who

supposingly knows his shit in the near future will get the cocktail I

want. We'll see. I am behind at work and in my relationship. I spend a

lot of energy staying alive and it does not leave much to over

acheive, which is what is expected from a man in his late 30's.

But last Sunday, I went and played softball for the first time. I was

on a team and they let me play even though I didn't know the rules. I

was in great shape since the gym is an everyday thing for me and the

gel, the DIM, the DHEA and the zinc make me feel like a million bucks!

I had never been as happy as I was last Sunday after the game. I did

it, I was one of the guys playing sports and it felt great. Getting

there on the field and trying to contribute to the team effort was the

shit. We can do it. We must continue the fight with no guaranty and

with the knowledge that we are junkies. Forever. Get out there,

fuck'em all, you can do it, you will, one day at a time.

This is my story. I want to hear your story. Anyone, let me have it.

Thanks buddies.

Co-Moderator " Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. "

Phil

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