Testosterone level and Varicoceles

[Guest guest]

I am 26. About 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with a grade 2 varicocele

on my left testicle, and I also have slight varicocele on my right

side. It had been going on for several years before this, but I didn't

get it investigated. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about and

wouldn't affect fertility or testosterone and that to meddle with it

would have no guarantee of success and could create more problems.

I always wondered, growing up, why I didn't have the facial hair that

the vast majority of my peers had. Why I didn't have the broad

shoulders, deep voice, and confidence of the other boys at school. I

always told myself ''Your time will come'' but it never did. Like I

say, I'm 26 now, and things haven't really improved. I don't have to

shave every day. I have light chest hair. I have fairly light leg

hair. I have hair in the pubic area which seems normal enough to me. I

watch young guys coming up behind me and exceeding me in terms of

physical maturity. It hurts a lot.

I have Obsessive compulsive disorder. I had Gynecomasty in both

nipples at age 20 which is now resolved. I feel I lack drive, I feel

lethargic much of the time, I sleep a lot. I lack confidence, I blush

very easily. At the risk of being labeled a Hypochondriac or of having

psychosomatic symptoms, I have found that recently, typically when I

am out in the car, if I am doing a stressful maneuver, I will suddenly

get this feeling of hotness in my head. It only lasts a very short

time, like less than a minute. I'll usually put on the cool air to

deal with it. It's a different thing to blushing, it's certainly not

that. I think this might be a hot flash. I don't believe I'm

depressed. Rather, I am sad because I feel I am only a shadow of the

man I should be, if only this wasn't holding me back. This, to me, is

backed up by the physical symptoms.

I am going to go to the doctor about this. I am concerned that they

will try and palm me off with depression and give me more

antidepressants. I tried those - prozac and seroxat, and I wouldn't

take any antidepressants again. I am not depressed and I certainly

don't want the side effects of those drugs.

I want the doctor to run some tests. I am a bit confused about what

exactly is needed - free testosterone (bioavailable), total serum

testosterone, LH, or FSH?

I don't want to be suffering like this for the rest of my life. I want

to know if there is something wrong with me, and if there is, to have

something done about it to rectify the problem.

Please help advise me on what to do and what tests will be necessary

to find out if something is wrong.