Reading a blood test for testosterone levels

[Guest guest]

>

> I almost forgot. If he is even a little interested in weight training, these

are some very good books for skinny guys called hardgainers. It will give real

world expectations and is totally against drugs.

############Thank you on both posts. I'll try to hang in there, perhaps

the books would be good parting gifts.

[Guest guest]

On Wed, 05 Aug 2009 00:42:25 -0000, you wrote:

>

>>

>> Good idea there. How about getting him a weightlifting set. He will need to

eat clean like a horse and lift weights. Packing on some hard beef sure helps

with the self image.

>#################

> Thanks ,

> He has them already. I don't know what's going on in his head. Really, I

don't know who he is anymore. I FEEL it's the test of the wills along with poor

self body image. He has no car, uses mine. Want's to get what he wants an older

sports car, like a mustang, conscientiously I can't do it. Send him off to

college in something that could lure him or others into racing and then file

him under my insurance.

> He knows I'm emotional and he's as cold as ice because he figures someone has

to give and I'm sure he's betting it's me. The car, the body ,it's all a self

image thing as far as I'm concerned. Throw in the testosterone coming back at

a 6.1 on the scale for an 18 yo , it has to be a whole man hood thing. It hurts

me and he knows it. I guess it's like Phil said there's nothing I can do. I

can't relate to him being the opposite sex /throw in the mother factor. It's

horrible terms to have your only child leave home on, I'm crying as I type. It

kills me as I live across country yet talk to my parents everyday.Just tell me

most boys hate their mothers before they leave home.

There is a phenomenon called " fouling the nest " . Teenagers get this

way, so they want to leave and you're ready to see them go.

Some one told me a long time ago our job as parents is to get fired as

their managers and later rehired as consultants. It's hard, but you've

got to stop trying to manage - and wait till he wants advice from you

as his consultant. 99% of them come back and love home, but it's a

tough transition and a wait.

Hang in there. I've launched one, with a second on the way. It's

harder for moms. I assume he doesn't have the money to do these things

on his own. And telling him to wait till he gets it himself may be

enough to get him through this phase. You don't have to let him brow

beat you into paying for things you do not believe in.

It sounds like it's time for him to hear from others and not from you

- as your patterns will just replay themselves. Maybe ask him if there

are people he'd like to talk about this stuff with?

You might find this resource helpful - it's more for parents of kids

who are in trouble but they are a great parental support network. This

one is in Washington, unfortunately, but I know they keep a great book

list.

http://www.cpsn.org/

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 4 Aug 2009 18:10:18 -0700 (PDT), you wrote:

>

>Hang in there because no matter what happens you will always be " Mom " .

And even now he knows your position is based from love and concern -

even if he disagrees. That's important and lots of kids don't have

that.

It's hard to watch them suffer - but they will grow through it.

[Guest guest]

> Some one told me a long time ago our job as parents is to get fired as

> their managers and later rehired as consultants.

######### Interesting thought I like that. Tonight, I've been told I was fired.

How's that for an 18th birthday reflection. I cut off his texting to our phones

and told him he could get his own line. I know if my husband were alive it would

have never gotten to this point.###

>>It's hard, but you've

> got to stop trying to manage - and wait till he wants advice from you as his

consultant. >>>>

#####He's WAY too proud and WAY too stubborn to ever admit anything. I don't

remember the last time he has ever said he was sorry. He almost prides himself

in that.########

>>>>>I assume he doesn't have the money to do these things

> on his own.>>>>>>>>

##### Wrong, perhaps even more reason why he is so hateful. My husband was

killed while serving his country. Though my son has made the grades to be

accepted for college and some scholarships he will also get some of my

husband's educational benefits handed down to him.

Pretty much has told me he does not need me whatsoever almost in a " SO BRING IT

ON " kind of manner. He almost prides himself in being a loner.Tonight I had

asked him to talk to me why he had so much venom towards me. His ONLY response

was that he told me he was tired and was going to bed.

I thank you for the link and thank you ALL for trying to help me in this very

lonely and frustrating situation. Really, I can't tell you ALL how much it means

to me for your time in trying to understand what could be going on in his mind

and body.

I've already had the love of my life taken from me and now the one person

that kept me going throughout my life basically has told me that there is no

need for me. He is so callous I CAN'T BELIEVE

that I gave birth to him. I fear that I must prepare for the worst and that

perhaps I have lost him as well, because how else could someone be that cold

and disrespectful. I guarantee if there was some EXTRA testosterone in this

house he would think twice about some of the words that come out of his mouth.

<<<<<< Maybe ask him if there

> are people he'd like to talk about this stuff with?>>>>>>>

####According to him I'm the only person he has a problem with, he almost

behaves SEXIST towards me. What I don't want is a 30 year old son behaving this

way towards me and I think it could happen as he has " never been put in his

place as a teenager. "

Sent to his room, and grounded, but never intimidated on what leaves that

mouth of his. My brain says cut him out of everything including car insurance

but my emotions say perhaps that this is a phase and since he will be gone

ignore this asinine behavior. He even remarked how he won't be the one crying

when he leaves. I can FEEL him feeding off of my emotions.

Thank you for the link . I will look into it. I know this is not the list for

all this BUT if ONE MALE mind on this list can actually tell me how I can reach

, react or not react to this young buck who is going through all these changes

in life I'd feel truly grateful.

Phil, I will get on that board you directed me to as obviously today was

another lost battle of trying to drag out his thoughts and feelings. I think

the problem is he does not even like to hear my voice, it's like he shuts down,

he becomes a wall. How does one talk to wall?

Again thank you gentlemen for all your insight,

[Guest guest]

The thing about this is later on when he is older he will be around all the time

and when he gets married and has kids he will be asking you for help to raise

them. They all ways come back when they get older and more mature.

Co-Moderator

Phil

> From: beaucerongirl101 <beaucerongirl101@...>

> Subject: Re: Reading a blood test for testosterone levels

>

> Date: Tuesday, August 4, 2009, 8:42 PM

>

> >

> > Good idea there. How about getting him a weightlifting

> set. He will need to eat clean like a horse and lift

> weights. Packing on some hard beef sure helps with the self

> image.

> #################

>   Thanks ,

> He has them already. I don't know what's going on in his

> head.  Really, I don't know who he is anymore. I FEEL

> it's the test of the wills along with poor self body image.

> He has no car, uses mine. Want's to get what he wants an

> older sports car, like a mustang, conscientiously I can't do

> it. Send him off to college   in something

> that could lure him or others into racing and  then

> file him under my insurance.

>   He knows I'm emotional and he's as cold as ice

> because he figures someone has to give and I'm sure he's

> betting it's me.  The car, the body ,it's all a self

> image thing as far as I'm concerned. Throw  in the

> testosterone coming  back at a 6.1 on the scale for an

> 18 yo , it has to be a whole man hood thing.  It hurts

> me and he knows it.  I guess it's like Phil said

> there's nothing I can do.  I can't relate to him being

> the opposite sex /throw in the mother factor. It's horrible

> terms to have your only child leave home on, I'm crying as I

> type. It kills me as I live across country yet talk to my

> parents everyday.Just  tell me most boys hate their

> mothers before they leave home.

>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

my heart goes out to you and I feel don't push him away don't add fire

to the fire let him have the things he had if you can afford them. Give him his

space and respect his boundaries. Please try to find a support group at Church

or even see a therapist for help it you start feeling to bad this helps you get

past all of this. He will be gone to Collage and your going to be home alone

this is hard to get use to so if you feel over whelmed find help. It's time to

let him go and take care of your needs.

Co-Moderator

Phil

> From: beaucerongirl101 <beaucerongirl101@...>

> Subject: Re: Reading a blood test for testosterone levels

>

> Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 7:10 AM

>

> > Some one told me a long time ago our job as parents is

> to get fired as

> > their managers and later rehired as consultants.

>

>

> ######### Interesting thought I like that. Tonight, I've

> been told I was fired. How's that for an 18th birthday

> reflection. I cut off his texting to our phones and told him

> he could get his own line. I know if my husband were alive

> it would have never gotten  to this point.###

>

> >>It's hard, but you've

> > got to stop trying to manage - and wait till he wants

> advice from you as his consultant. >>>>

> #####He's  WAY too proud and WAY too stubborn to ever

> admit anything. I don't remember the last time he has ever

> said he was sorry. He almost prides himself in

> that.########

>

> >>>>>I assume he doesn't have the money to

> do these things

> > on his own.>>>>>>>>

>   ##### Wrong, perhaps even more reason why he is so

> hateful. My husband was killed while serving his country.

> Though my son has made the grades to be accepted for college

> and some   scholarships  he will also

> get some of my husband's educational benefits handed down to

> him.

> Pretty much has told me he does not need me whatsoever

> almost in a  " SO BRING IT ON " kind of manner. He

> almost prides himself in being a loner.Tonight I  had

> asked him to talk to me why he had so much venom towards me.

> His ONLY response was that he  told me he was tired and

> was going to bed.

>    I thank you for the link and thank you

> ALL for trying to help me in this very lonely and

> frustrating situation. Really, I can't tell you ALL how much

> it means to me for your time in trying to understand what

> could be going on in his mind and body.

>     I've  already had the love of my life

> taken from  me and now the one person that kept me

> going  throughout my  life basically has told me

> that there is no need for me. He is so callous I CAN'T

> BELIEVE

> that I gave birth to him. I fear that I must prepare for

> the worst and that perhaps I have lost him as well, because

> how else could someone be that  cold and disrespectful.

> I guarantee if there was some EXTRA testosterone in this

> house he would think twice about some of the words that come

> out of his mouth.

>

> <<<<<< Maybe ask him if there

> > are people he'd like to talk about this stuff

> with?>>>>>>>

>

> ####According to him I'm the only person he has a problem

> with, he almost behaves SEXIST  towards me. What I

> don't want is a 30 year old son behaving this way towards me

> and I think it could happen as he has " never been put in his

> place as a teenager. "  

>   Sent to  his room,  and grounded, 

> but never intimidated on what leaves that mouth of his. My

> brain says cut him out of everything including  car

> insurance but my emotions say perhaps  that this is a

> phase and since he will be gone ignore this asinine

> behavior. He even remarked how he won't be the one crying

> when he leaves. I can FEEL him feeding off of my emotions.

> Thank you for the link . I will look into it.  I know

> this is not the list for all this BUT if ONE MALE mind on

> this list can actually tell me how I can reach , react or

> not react to this young buck  who is going through all

> these changes in life  I'd feel truly

> grateful.   

>     Phil, I will get on that board  you

> directed me to as obviously today was another lost battle of

> trying to drag out his thoughts and feelings.  I think

> the problem is he does not even like to hear my voice, it's

> like he shuts down, he  becomes a wall. How does one

> talk to wall?

> Again thank you gentlemen for all your insight,

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

>