Prostate Cancer Journal

[Guest guest]

It has been many years since I've posted anything on-line about my

cancer. I did write a day-by-day journal of my diagnosis, treatment,

and outcomes. The journal is very personal, sometimes humorous,

sometimes serious, but mostly informative, especially for recently

diagnosed individuals and those interested in Watchful Waiting, as

opposed to traditional treatment. On-line forums and chat rooms helped

me tremendously years ago. I hope this journal may return the favor.

Here's the link: http://www.pcjournal-rrd.blogspot.com

[Moderator's note: The journal covers prostate cancer treatment using forty-two

3D Conformal Radiation Therapy treatments in 2001 and 2002. Much of what is

written in the journal is personal information rather than about treatment. If

you prefer not to read all the pages of the journal, below are some key

excerpts]

May 10 It's over! Final treatment this afternoon (42 of 42). Aside from burning

pee and extreme fatigue, looks like I was able to avoid other more debilitating

side-effects. The oncologist is amazed, especially since I really didn' t follow

the diet they suggested (some exceptions). ... Whether they were able to destroy

the tumor remains to be seen. Won't know anything for three months.

I'll have my first PSA analysis on August 9 and a meeting with the oncologist on

August 16 (results of PSA analysis and DRE). As I understand it, the PSA reading

should be less than one (1) if the " cure " was effective. Let's hope!! Of course,

even if it is, that doesn't mean I will be prostate cancer-free forever. One of

my spa friends, for example, had 3D-EBRT eight years ago and was proclaimed

" cured. " Well, he's got it again! But, he did buy himself at least eight years!

May 11 Not a good day. Very depressed, almost suicidal. Don't feel good

physically. The news of the cancer " smart pill " just came out. Should I have

waited? Moot question. Spent 9 weeks destroying one of my organs and don't know

yet about all of the consequences and ramifications. Have no interest in sex and

that's bothering me a lot. Starting to feel like my Dad...pissed off at the

world and all of the unfairness out there.

---

May 18 A week has passed since my last radiation treatment. My spirits are

higher than last week, but I've been really fatigued, much more so than during

treatment itself...If the PSA begins to climb over this two year period, it will

suggest that the cancer has not been fully contained and that it has spread to

other places, the bones in particular. At that point, hormonal therapy and

chemotherapy come into play. The urologist likes his statistics. He gives me a

90% chance of the PSA stabilizing and being prostate cancer free for the rest of

my life, but there aren't any guarantees! In answer to my question " How do we

know that the cancer hasn't already spread, " the answer is " We don't. " Only

after a careful monitoring of the PSA readings will we know for sure. One way of

looking at it is that the nine weeks of radiation therapy represent the opening

chapter of a story whose ending is not especially clear at this point.

---

Aug 7 Had blood drawn yesterday at St. Luke's for my first post-radiation PSA.

Will see Dr. Timmerman on the 16th for the PSA numbers and a DRE. Somewhat

uneasy. Uneasy? " Worried " might be the operative word! What will be, will be. It

has been a Summer of on-again, off-again depression and " feeling-sorry-for

myself. " Sex drive is zero and non-sexual erections few and far between. Very

frustrating. I have so many physical and mental problems that two hands with ten

fingers can't count them, making me irritable and hard to live with. Sometimes I

wonder if life like this is worth it! Gut pain is driving me crazy. Hard to

function, let alone want to have sex, with it! Not suicidal, just pissed-off!

Again, thank God for booze. Enough of it kills the pain and allows me a good

night's sleep. I think Freida thinks that I'm rejecting her, but that's not the

case at all. It's the pain and discomfort...!

---

Aug 16 Saw my oncologist this morning. My PSA has dropped to 0.97 from 5.3

before the radiation. The doctor was extremely happy with that number and said

that she would have been happy with any reading below 2 . 65 (half the previous

high) . She anticipates that my next reading will be even lower.

The PSA number is an indicator of cancer growth or non-growth. If it remains low

and stable, cancer probably isn't present; if it begins to climb, it is an

indication that the cancer has returned and/or spread to other areas of the

body. So I will have several PSA tests (blood drawn) annually for the rest of my

life. The rectal exam (DRE) went well too. The doctor's exact words were: " " Not

much left of the prostate. It's flat and there are no nodules. " Sweetest words

I've heard in a long time!! So, officially, my cancer is in " remission, " at

least for now. The radiation apparently did the job...

---

Sept 6 Been depressed for the past month. Cancer-related? Who knows? All other

" problems " are intensified, especially the IBS. Saw Dr. Cook and he prescribed a

new anti-depressant, which I will be taking whenever it arrives from our

mail-order pharmacy.

---

Oct 26 The anti-depressant didn't make any difference, so I'm off of it. Have

stopped taking all prescriptions except my high blood pressure pill and an

aspirin a day, coupled with zinc, Vitamins C, E and A. Even stopped the

over-the-counter joint medicine. Hate pills with a passion....I haven't really

added up the total cost, but it certainly was in excess of $50,000. The

insurances, both mine and Freida's, covered at least 99% of that...Still have

burning pee and a general feeling of being tired. Recently, some " burning " with

bowel movements.

---

Feb 6 Just returned from my urologist's office. Had blood drawn a couple of

weeks ago for the PSA, and the results are very good: down to 0.65 from the

previous reading of 0.97. The doctor was very encouraged.

==========

FOLLOW-UP

==========

My urologist declared me prostate cancer free in 2005.

So, would have I pursued the same course of action described above if I could

turn back the hands of time? No easy answer here. For all intents and purposes,

my sex-drive is non-existent, one of my worst fears at the outset of this

journey. Even if I had some libido left, the problem of erectile dysfunction

would still exist. Additionally, I've developed other serious health problems

(not related to the prostate cancer) which will probably take me out before I

reach 70. Being only 66 now, that is a grim prospect. Whether the prostate

cancer would have " got me " first (which I tend to doubt) is anyone's guess. My

initial decision to treat the cancer, rather than " watchful waiting, " was a

crap-shoot or a coin-toss. Right? Wrong? Who knows?

[Guest guest]

Cartmanskitty- You don't mention where you are in the world of

alternative medicine. Did you change your diet and lifestyle after

your diagnosis and treatment? I would submit to you that there is

healing in herbs and foods for your present problems plus changing your

cellular health to make it inhospitable to further cancer and

degenerative disease. This forum will give you lots of health

information and support plus the Budwig protocol for a basic omega 3

diet that helps with degenerative disease-

FlaxSeedOil2/

LDN helps boost boost immune system-

LDN_4_cancer/

More health info and support-

never_do_harm_to_anyone/

Best wishes,

On Feb 6, 2008, at 11:03 AM, cartmanskitty wrote:

> It has been many years since I've posted anything on-line about my

> cancer. I did write a day-by-day journal of my diagnosis, treatment,

> and outcomes.

[Guest guest]

Hi. I'm new to this fourm and don't completely understand how it works.

However, I've dealt with ovarian cancer for two years in August, number keep

going up. Very little cancer on CT. Conventional doesn't work and I don't want

any more in my body. I haven't returned for treatment have had five different

treatment options and the last one was really rough. Just getting back to

normal. Could you provide any recommendations for me?

I like what I've read about LDN.

Blessings and looking forward to hearing from you.