Re: What exact tests need to be done?

December 23, 2008

Hi Sally, this is evil Norton, your admirer and defender.

Yes, a regular MD can order any blood tests, great idea to get them

done and take the results to the endo.

I may be wrong, but almost all men get an erection while sleeping,

mostly in the early morning hours, so I assume this is when the

testosterone level is highest. However, and hopefully some others

here can add more information to this, but this nocturnal erection

may be more a function of sleep than a strict 24 hour day.

Anyway, I don't think it matters what time of day he gets the blood

drawn, any deviation would be minor. With a level of about 200,

he has to be weak, barely able to get aroused, etc.

Good luck to both you and him. And yes, I still think he has a

bigger problem masturbating to porn instead of wanting to have sex

with you, regardless of testosterone level, sounds like he needs

to see some therapist about this, maybe with you, as this issue

alone, if not resolved, could well be the main roadblock to your

hopes for a successfull, loving, mutually compatable, marriage.

Evil Norton

December 23, 2008

Once you know what tests you want done, you can get them done here:

http://privatemdlabs.com/

Select " lab locations " from the main page to find a lab near you.

You take the paperwork to a local place and they send it in to the

lab. You get the results online. I think the prices are quite

reasonable.

I recommend " Estrogen Testing, Comprehensive panel " . They have 4

different Testosterone tests, and I don't know which one to recommend.

> I was thinking if I could educate

> myself from the internet and go to a general doctor (internal

> medicine) and get the tests started. What exact tests need to be done?

> Maybe repeat total/free testosterone, estrogen, FSH, LH, thyroid,

> semen analysis? Can a general doctor prescribe these tests? Then we

> would have a head start before going to the endocrinologist.

December 23, 2008

whenharry_metsally wrote:

> I feel I devote all my time and

> energy in trying to fix my husband's problems and have no time left

> for myself. I have certainly been miserable for the first year of my

> marriage, which is supposed to be the blissful year.

>

> Sally

When it comes to adults, the only person's problems anyone can fix is

their own. It's not possible to be responsible for and to fix other

people. They may decide not to change and there isn't anything one can

do about that. They may decide to change in ways you don't care for and

their isn't anything ultimately one can do about that either. When

people start to change, you always get something different than you were

expecting. If he takes the trip towards more masculine fitness

(physical and mental) exactly as you want, he may decide that he's no

longer satisfied with the circumstances of life he finds himself in, and

change them.

Personally, I think (and I don't always follow my own advise but I'm

getting better) that one should decide what is in their own best

interests and then proceed accordingly and not depend on or have any

expectation that other people will always join you for the trip that is

you OWN life's journey.

--

Steve - dudescholar4@...

Take World's Smallest Political Quiz at

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

" If a thousand old beliefs were ruined on our march

to truth we must still march on. " --Stopford

December 23, 2008

Sally,

I agree with Steve. Additionally I believe there is deception

involved, he did not tell you of his health problems and his inability

to have a normal sex life. You can only do so much to help someone

that is not willing to help themselves, or even admit there is a problem.

I don't think anyone could fault you for calling it quits. I'll tell

you right now that if I had married a woman that would not sleep with

me for a year I would be long gone many months ago.

My situation is that now at the age of 51 I just could not get the job

done anymore. My wife and I were only having sex once or twice a

month, we used to average at least 3 times a week when we were

younger. Both my wife and I are using replacement hormones now....and

we are back to normal pretty much. My wife needed hormones too, it's

helped her at the age of 47.

As humans we all want to be loved, be touched, have someone make love

to us. It's important to find someone that will put as much effort

into loving you physically and emotionally as you do them. I found

that person in my wife, but honestly a long time ago when I used to

date I would stop seeing some very attractive women because they were

not good reciprocal lovers....I dropped them. What good is the most

beautiful woman in the world if she just lies there! I found someone

that I was a good match for me in my wife. I believe in test driving

before I buy, sorry if that interferes with any religious beliefs.

Marriage is too big a deal for me, and divorce too expensive for me

not to know ahead.

As for testosterone levels, yes they are somewhat higher in the A.M.

You husbands P.M. level of 200 could test maybe as high as 250.

Incredibly he typical endo might pronounce him " normal " or " borderline

low " at that level. My HMO endo did exactly that, my A.M. level was

275 and she told me I was absolutely normal and recommended Prozac. I

have seen this at least 100 times on these message boards. Endo's are

the pits, and the absolute worse doctors around. You are 99%

guaranteed to get no relief from an endo. When I went to my D.O.

doctor he told me I had the testosterone of a 105 year old man, and

showed me on a chart. He also told me my thyroid was shot, and my

adrenals as well. Of course the endo just said I was depressed and

needed Prozac.

Neil

> > I feel I devote all my time and

> > energy in trying to fix my husband's problems and have no time left

> > for myself. I have certainly been miserable for the first year of my

> > marriage, which is supposed to be the blissful year.

> >

> > Sally

>

> When it comes to adults, the only person's problems anyone can fix is

> their own. It's not possible to be responsible for and to fix other

> people. They may decide not to change and there isn't anything one can

> do about that. They may decide to change in ways you don't care for

and

> their isn't anything ultimately one can do about that either. When

> people start to change, you always get something different than you

were

> expecting. If he takes the trip towards more masculine fitness

> (physical and mental) exactly as you want, he may decide that he's no

> longer satisfied with the circumstances of life he finds himself in,

and

> change them.

>

> Personally, I think (and I don't always follow my own advise but I'm

> getting better) that one should decide what is in their own best

> interests and then proceed accordingly and not depend on or have any

> expectation that other people will always join you for the trip that is

> you OWN life's journey.

>

> --

>

> Steve - dudescholar4@...

>

> Take World's Smallest Political Quiz at

> http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

>

> " If a thousand old beliefs were ruined on our march

> to truth we must still march on. " --Stopford

>

December 23, 2008

Sorry I missed the beginning of this.. I am sorry for your marriage problems

Sally. I am wondering why do you feel you need to " fix " his low testosterone and

all that is included?

If he is experiencing complications, he needs to continue his out-patient visits

to doctors and make sure he is continuously using a valid TRT treatment such as

Angrogel. If he is experiencing psychological problems, a therapist and possibly

medication can help. If your husband cannot do this for himself while you be by

his side for support and love, yes I can understand how you would feel the way

you do.

If he hasn't posted in this forum, please ask him to. If he has trouble finding

doctors, let us help. I am great with searches in general. There are practical

and safe ways for you to turn your miserable attitude into a more positive and

joyful attitude. If your husband is unable to seek help for himself, you two

should seriously talk about why and how to make your husband more independent

and responsible for his health. Communicate Ma'am.