Beginning to wonder if I should have started TRT...

[Guest guest]

Hey all you guys. I just want you all to know you are probably the best

support network on the whole web for guys who are having hormonal

problems or at least even feel like they are. Other than talking to Phil

through email, I really haven't shared my whole story. I was just

thinking on the way home from work tonight if starting TRT at 39 years

of age is even a good idea. I'll explain why. This post will be long I

can assure you but I just feel like I need to get it all out there

because I know if anyone will understand, it will be you guys.

When I turned 37 years old I began to notice a considerable difference

in my quality of life. I was still able to have sex with my wife, when

she wanted to, and I didn't have ED but I just wasn't all that

interested in sex. I felt like I wanted it but my thoughts would move

away from it onto other things very quickly. I had anxiety attacks, real

bad, and I've had those since I was 22 years old so I'm old hat when it

comes to those. I had recently had a vasectomy and thought that might be

the cause of some of my problems. I posted to WebMD in the urology board

about my symptoms. Phil was the only one to answer me and told me that I

sure reminded him of himself when he was my age. Phil's insight prompted

me to visit my doctor at age 38 for a hormone panel.

So, I did it. At the time my Total Testosterone was 328 (241-827) .

Free T was not measured as were neither of the other things that should

have been. My doc told me I was normal and that was it. I was very

symptomatic but she told me in a year we would recheck. So, I waited.

Symptoms got worse and then I had my last test in October of this year.

Total Testosterone was 292. Still not low enough for her to consider

helping me, but my symptoms were getting worse and she chalked it all up

to stress. My anxiety began to get worse this time and I'd just had

enough of feeling this way since I had EVERY symptom of Hypogonadism, I

went to my urologist who was the only other doc at the time to turn to.

He thought the 292 was very low for my age and was very empathetic. He

started me on Testim 50mg and checked prolactin and stuff which all

came back normal.

So, now here I am asking myself -- I'm now on 100mg Testim a day. After

about a week on Testim 50mg I felt like Superman, but now my last test

on Monday of this week showed Total T at 167 and free T at 3.7. Both

well below the labs lower range.

Now, I'm backpeddling and asking myself -- Did I really feel that bad

when my T was 328? I know I did but could I have managed with it? It was

in the range of a man over 80 years old but what was I going to do. So,

I began to learn and am still doing a lot of learning. My docs don't

know a lot -- like estradiol, SHBG and all that stuff but I think I've

got a plan to convinnce them, since there are three of them. Them I'm

fretting about E2 getting too high, DHT getting too high, H and H

getting too high, Nuts shrinking up like grapes. It's just all really

insane and it just hit me today -- I'll have to do this, in some form,

for the rest of my life in order to feel normal. And I'm fighting

against a medical community who still question whether Testosterone

Replacement is safe and all that crap! Arrggghhhh!!

Sorry guys, I just had to vent! I just wish I had waited a while longer

and not did anything until all the tests were run when they should have

been because now it's just too late. Now when I have a panic attack it's

not going to be because I've had an anxiety disorder all my life, it's

going to be -- " Man my E2 must be high! " And then I have no meds for

that and all that crap I hate to have to deal with but I know I will.

I hope you can all understand this message and that it doesn't sound

ridiculous. It's just what I'm feeling right now. Thank you all for

listening.

Jody