was: Heidi N will be moving on now: What makes this group great

[Guest guest]

I musta missed it too...

If we didn't allow these kind of discussions this group we be closed

minded like all the other groups.....which also means we could not

discuss anything unless it fit certain ideals. which probably means

not Andy or not anything else. Which also means we could not get our

children well. Sure sometimes it gets hairy here, but mostly it's not.

At times I have been attacked personally because my ideals were

different. I don't take it personally. that's life. People don't have

to like me or accept what I say. And I don't have to like what they

say, but at least we are all heard here. Not banned or hushed up or

thrown off the group. As most groups do. I have left many groups

because of this fact. If your experiences don't fit with their

rules...they don't want to hear from you. That's not helping anyone.

And that's how this country got into this problem, by shutting up

people who don't agree. That is letting them win you know. You let the

monsters who inflicted this on us to win, if we keep our mouths shut

and just go along. You can't have positivity without negativity.

While we discuss things sometimes vehemently here, it does not mean we

wish each other ill. We are just all trying to be heard. And

thankfully, our moderators agree with allowing free expressions. Or

we'd be no where. I'd be no where. I know that without this group..I

would not have my son as he is today. No doctor or other group would

tell me to do what I did to cure my son. No one. Why because the truth

is ugly and unpleasant and negative. And creates conflict. People here

were not afraid or banned for saying such things, that were the truth.

I have been called an Andy worshipper and many other things, but I

don't care. I let that slide off me, because I realize that those who

said such things were hurting, and saddened. And possibly sick

themselves and in need of help. Rather than leave, I chose to let them

say what they will, and when their hurt and anger dies down, they too

can get that help and support. So yes, it gets ugly here sometimes.

But I still feel like this is a family here. If we don't stick

together through thick and thin....there is no help.

I could have easily left this group many times when I was verbally

ridiculed by non believers. But if I had..there would be many of you

who did not get my help, or my advice on what works for us. Then what?

Who am I hurting then? Not me, no the person who verbally ridiculed

me. But you..I would be hurting those that needed that sharing of advice.

It's ok if we all disagree on one doctor, or one theory, or we don't

all use the same vitamin D. But what's great about this group, is that

your are allowed to express your views here and state your

experiences. Even if it gets ugly. Sadly life is ugly, the real facts

of what brought us here are deep, dark, and very ugly. Damaged sick

children is not a pleasant thing..it is ugly. And that has made most

of us into suspicious, protective and aware parents. This also means

sometimes we questions new people's ideas, we disagree, etc. And we

discuss this, trying to make reason of it. Trying to determine if this

new idea or treatment is safe, will it be helpful etc. If it is, then

we take it on. If it's not, we don't. But we can't come to that

conclusion without discussion of each person experiences. Even

negative ugly discussions. Most of the time that I see name calling or

anything negative..it's usually followed with an apology later on.

Because tempers flare...we are all in a tight place. We are human and

we are fallible. So yes, we vent, and sometimes day mean things. But

we move on.

I am sure in the beginning Andy was met with the same huge examination

and list of questions. As anyone should be. After what happened with

our children and vaccines, we can't take someone word for it anymore.

But if the person's legit..this will show and they will not leave

because some people question them.

We really are all here for the same reasons. To help our children and

others children. For some of us, that means warning others of

something that might be expensive and useless or potentially harmful.

For others it means just stating their own experiences. But either

way...when you have such a large group in such situations..it's going

to " unpretty " at times. Would you rather we not discuss anything but

paint a pretty picture of this nice little happy peaceful group? You'd

never learn anything here. There are lots of groups like that, and I

have not learned anything on them, and sadly..I was not able to help

those parents either. I was not allowed to help them. Because I might

rock the boat a little on something different.

Hashing things out among different people with different experiences

and educational back grounds is what leads to progress. Not doing what

makes everyone feel all soft and warm and fuzzy and comfortable.

I know it can be hard at times and taking a break from the group is

needed if it gets to be too much. Gee, I think can vouch for

me on that one, but if I had just left, rather than stayed as she

talked sense into me...where would others be? In fact, when I thought

of leaving, many people emailed me, even new people and begged me not

to go. They needed what I had to share.

I know it's hard to watch the arguments at times, but one can just not

reply to those posts or take a few days break. It always boils over

and resolves eventually. Others will still help you with your

questions aside from those topics under scrutiny.

Often I see people leave and only because they we won't accept an idea

that they think is the right idea. Why do we have to accept someone

elses idea if we don't agree? After all, they are not accepting our

ideas either. We have to agree to disagree. Consider what was said and

accept that we all won't agree on everything. There's nothing wrong

with that. So I guess were not the most positive group at times,

unless you think of positive as the free ability to discuss and

question everything. That is positive.

I hope she comes back sometime, she's welcome here. I hate to see

someone leave and not get the help or support they might want.

There are plenty of groups that don't allow disagreement or negativity.

Sadly, there's no free expression there either.

So I hope that she fares well, and that if she needs us, she knows she

can come back.

>

> From: ambitionn01 <Ambitionn01@...>

> Subject: [ ] Heidi N will be moving on

>

> Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 5:38 PM

>

> I apologize for not answering some questions. Please email me

> personally or go to one of my other forums. I just don't want to be on

> this forum at this time -- too much negativity is allowed here. I wish

> all the best, and like I said -- just email me privately or go to the

> : ChelatingKids2, abmd, ValtrexB12 or

> BorreliaMultipleInfectionsAndAutism to find me.

>

> Love and prayers,

>

> Heidi N

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> =======================================================

>