Re: Digest Number 13945

[Guest guest]

Well said . So sad.

I did a search the other day to see what my name pulled up, and then were two

things I wish hadn't been there. And one x did use in court.

Tough going. I guess the way to get around this is to email personally those

people who you wish to have more personal info. about a situation.

Be well all. Alison F.

5a. Re: Family freaking out over supplements

Posted by: " Michele " talithamichele@... michele_in_california

Date: Sun Nov 30, 2008 9:14 pm ((PST))

Just a little FYI:

Someone has kindly written me off-list to remind me that the archives

of this list are public and it might be a bad idea to say stuff on

list that I wouldn't want my ex to know. I know that. I also run

several websites. So I am typically pretty careful about what I

choose to say in public. I thought about the potential risk before I

posted it and decided it was small and I wasn't " talking trash " to

a

degree that would likely cause me trouble even if he read it (as I

said: I seriously downplayed it but did not lie to him).

Just because I deemed it safe for ME to say something not-so-pretty

about my former marriage does not mean it is also safe for someone

else, whose circumstances are different from mine. (For example: My

sons are both legal adults. Even if my ex got really mad at me, there

would be no custody battle because of it.) As a rule of thumb, if you

wouldn't want it posted on the front page of your local newspaper,

mailed to your spouse (or ex), read out loud to your mother in law

(etc), then it would be best to not say it here. If you aren't sure

about it, another good rule of thumb is to save the post and come back

to it a bit later, whether an hour later or the next day, and see how

you feel about it then. Once it's out there, there's no getting it

back.

Last, as a rule of thumb, I would not encourage anyone to follow my

example for what to freely discuss in public. For example: My adult

sons both know I was molested as a kid. So do probably thousands of

other people. I'm quite open about things that make other people

cringe to discuss. And I have spent years arranging my life such that

this is not a problem for me. If you haven't spent years arranging

your life the same way, then I am probably a very, very bad example to

follow.

Thanks.

Michele

http://www.healthgazelle.org

http://www.kidslikemine.org

http://www.solanorail.org

>I didn't let my husband know everything

> I was doing for our sons. He knew they got supplements, he didn't

> know how many or much details (why, what it was for, dosing, etc). I

> very much downplayed it (without lying -- I was just discreet). It was

> easy to do because I was on so many supplements, so he had no way of

> knowing what was for me and what was for the kids, and he also worked

> all day while I was home with them. He didn't believe any of it

> helped. We are now divorced.

>

>