What makes you smile?

[Guest guest]

I know this sounds like an odd topic for a message board focused on a

disease with no cure. But, day in and day out I listen to peoples sad

stories. It makes me sad listening to them. We all have sad stories,

and occasionally inspirational success stories, but what about the

happy little moments you can get out of even the worst of days. I just

wanted to share a little of what makes me smile every day.

Backstory: My fiance has P over 90% of his body, severly deformed

joints in his hands and feet, his knees, ankles, hips, elbows and

wrists are stiff, swollen, and extremely painful to the point of

disabilization at times. He has a very limited range of motion in his

neck and back too. Some days I fear this disease will kill him. It is

obviously horrible for him to live this, but we share this burden, even

if we don't share the pain. Still, we both are all smiles. And why not?

When we wake up in the morning he spends about half an hour stretching

his knees and complaining about how, yet again, his PA has not

spontaneously disappeared. I usually counter with a complaint about how

a pile of gold has not spontaneously appeared either. Then he watches

me speed through my morning routine while he continues stretching, all

the while telling me how much he hates that I can hop on one leg while

trying to put my jeans on. Of course he changes his tune on the

mornings when I bring him breakfast in bed. Once he is finally all

stretched he goes through the list, " honey can you hand me a pair of

socks? " " Honey, can you put my socks on for me? " " Honey, don't pull the

socks up so tight " . He will usually add getting the clothes out of the

closet, dressing, buttoning, and tying up every loose end befor he will

let me go. It is a real pain in the butt sometimes, but having a sense

of humor about it, I think makes the morning ritual kind of endearing

to both of us.

Nights can also be kind of entertaining. When the day is done and we

are finally ready to tuck in for the night, he, every time without

fail, will sit on the edge of the bed prematurally. I usually pout

until he reluctantly moves. I pull back the red sheets (I buy red

sheets to hide the innevetable blood stains), he hates red. I stand on

the bed with a pillow and sweep all of the flaky skin off the bed. He

always makes fun off me when I do this, and says that I just want an

excuse to jump on the bed (its true, but I'll never admit it to him).

Then we lay in bed and (like any normal couple) fight over the remote.

It is usually a race to see who gets to it first. He always wins, but I

will inevatably steal it back and run to the other side of the room,

teasing that he can have it back when he catches me. I know it sounds

mean, but we both think its fun.

PA is horrible to deal with, but my fiance and I feel like you can't go

around feeling sorry for yourself all the time. We try to enjoy life

even when it deals us a bad blows. We live in the moment.

What makes you smile?

[Guest guest]

<<I feel like you can't go around feeling sorry for yourself all the time>>

Dear a,

I am glad that this works for you, but it is wrong to imply that people just

want to feel sorry for themself. Imflation is painful and when I can be up I

prefer it to being down. Although I am pretty much in remission now, I can

remember days when walking in to the kitchen almost broke me. When I am in good

shape I do everything that I can to improve my health in hope that the next

flare will not be as bad. However, one thing I have learned is I have no

control over it. None! I suspect mosst people on the list are the same. I

have had a great year since going on Humira, but no from experience that may not

be the case tomorrow.

carol frick