tears

[Guest guest]

I was on a mild anti-depressant (for a whole host of reasons) before I was

diagnosed with PsA about 8 months ago. Was just about ready to go off them when

the diagnosis came and my primary care physician said, " No way. " They are a

part of the treatment for those who have chronically painful diseases.

Joanna Hoelscher

[Guest guest]

If there was a way to put a small insulin needle on the Enbrel sure click it

would be perfect. I inject Methotrexate and it does not hurt at all. The

Enbrel uses a much thicker needle. There is a " sweet " spot on my thigh that I

have only found twice that does not hurt too bad. Mostly I inject in my

stomach. If you ice first it is better.

" Beth " <bmadron@...>

[Guest guest]

>

> A lot of my friends seem to feel that I am depressed and that

> accounts for a lot of my pain. I cry because of the pain mostly as

> it wears you down. I am one of these that I am useless without sleep

> or if I miss a meal. Just mention Lassie and I cry!

Depression and pain actually do feed on each other. It can be an

endless and hellish cycle, left untreated. It's important that

depression is properly managed and under control. It's also important

that your pain is properly managed. There are good pain management

specialists out there who regularly see PA patients to help improve

their quality of life.

Mark

[Guest guest]

<<A lot of my friends seem to feel that I am depressed and that

accounts for a lot of my pain.>>

I get this all the time with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, especially in

the early days before anyone thought it was a " real " disease.

Many of my friends and family want to be in denial about my illness

for a variety of reasons...who will take care of my mother if I am

sick, why am I spending so much time cooped up at home, why am I not

going to ....and blaming it on depression is very handy.

They want to believe I really don't have an incurable illness and

instead I have depression which is causing the other symptoms, pain,

fatigue, etc.

I think that is why they do it. Then when we don't look sick it

really makes them stick to their guns.

One former friend yelled at me that I wasn't really sick, and all us

CFS people are just faking it. And she was one of the few that saw

me so sick she got really scared.

It can bring out the worst in many people, human nature, I guess.

After awhile I just get thicker skin and ignore these comments.

But chronic pain does things to your emotions, and it's good you do

cry. Crying gets a lot of my own bad feelings out, heck, I wish I

could cry more instead of grimacing and acting unemotional.

I hope you find something that helps with your pain.

Hollie

[Guest guest]

Liked your post , I'm a " society wife " too. Lots of benefit

dinner parties, etc.

I get adrenaline going when in these conversational parties that

allows me to carry on. But that adrenaline crash afterwards is

really tough.

I, too, can barely get ready for bed afterwards, heck, I can barely

get ready to go either. Thank God that adrenaline kicks in.

The biggest problem I have is getting through the clothes shopping

beforehand, it takes a lot of energy to shop.

I agree too, that many must think I'm a split personality also.

Hollie

[Guest guest]

,

Sorry, just had time to check out the messages and read yours to me

on April 18th, was in the process of 'further pushing myself to the

limits... traveling overseas). All the preparation, packing, and

trying not to forget my survival medicines and doctors' notes to

cover my butt through customs upon entering U.S. Immigration... but,

all went smoothly... just some real achy joints and stiff neck,

etc. It will all decrease as I begin to unwind at my dad's.

Yes, no one can imagine the extent of how much we are affected, they

can only see what they see... but seeing is never the same as

actually experiencing our lives... so, good luck to all, and I

always have to remind myself to get enough sleep.

[Guest guest]

Hello Hollie,

Just saw your message as well, after many years of living the hectic

social/split-personality life I have accumulated so many closets of

clothes that I can 'mix and match' until 'something freezes over'...

as the saying should go. I am so happy when I can just wear jeans

and normal clothes... training suits, and other leisure 'no brainer'

ensembles... and, of course, the most comfortable tennis shoes or

crocs... I love the newest 'lined' crocs... even in the summer with

some nice thick, comfy socks... ;o) It is so nice to know that

others can truly understand how we feel... pain and exhaustion is

second nature to us... so, keep smiling and keep enjoying the

adrenaline highs.

[Guest guest]

Mark,

It is so true that the pain and depression go hand in hand... I wish

I could cry more... but mostly I find whenever I do have any spare

time for any luxury... then I choose to sleep... because I consider

crying a luxury too... sounds weird, but this is how I see it. It

just zaps my energy to cry as well, so I end up logically talking

myself out of it. Doesn't make sense to my husband or my friends...

but it does to me. So, I guess we all just have to find out what

works with each of us to deal with the pain and our disease. Good

luck to all.

[Guest guest]

Y'all will get a kick out of this story. My husband has come a long

way in understanding my illness over the 2 years since I was

diagnosed. Or, at least I thought he had...

Our old dog has suddenly gotten very feeble with his osteoarthritis.

He is very slow to get up from a prone position. Recently he had

bouts where his front leg would just tremble when he would stand up,

because of the pain in his hip. My hubby has been SO worried about

him. Last week he just erupted to me in this profoundly

compassionate monologue about poor Shag and how much he is suffering

and how much it hurts him to see the dog suffer so. As I listened I

was thinking, " Hooray! This is really demonstrating to him even more

vividly what I am going through! " I said, " Yes, I really understand

Shag's pain - that's exactly what I've been going through for years

now. " Hubby replied, " No, you're not suffering like Shag is. " I

said, " What!?! " He said, " The poor dog's leg trembles from so much

pain! Your leg doesn't tremble like that! "

I give up!!! He's forgotten that for 3 months I was bedridden. That

I couldn't walk 3 feet to the bathroom without my tears dripping on

the floor all the way there and back. That the pain was so bad that

sometimes I couldn't even draw a breath. Because I'm so much better,

he's not realizing or thinking about the fact that I've got some

level of pain EVERY SECOND of every day and night. Because I don't

complain, he thinks the pain is nothing.

Oh, well. God forbid he would ever REALLY understand, because the

only way he could is to have to suffer it himself, which I would

never want to happen. But you just have to laugh sometimes...

Or maybe on the bad days I should start shaking my leg???? I wonder

whether I would look more like Elvis or the dog?

regards,

sherry z

--

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherry

Could it be that your husband loves you to the extent that he blocks out any

thought of you in pain? I know that a lot of people react with denial when it

comes to the ones they love. Maybe a session with your doctor to explain it to

him would help.

Regards Walt

[Guest guest]

Sherry,

I loved you message so much I am still smiling.... I think your dog

understands your pain... obviously. It never ceases to amaze me

that my husband, children, and others will comment on the pain and

unfortunate 'situations' of 'others'... anyone but 'us'.... my

mother-in-law has only had a bit of arthritis for the past couple of

years... she gets attention, sympathy, and supportive comments

from 'everyone'... maybe my age doesn't entitle me to any of this

positive reinforcement and sympathy/understanding until I fall into

the 'geriatric category'.... jeez, maybe they just think I haven't

displayed enough pain...

.... oh, I am sure all of you have experienced something like this...

almost everyone at every age has had an occasional ache and pain

that gets attention (sprained ankle, sore tooth, pulled muscle,

achey back, a tender bruise, or whatever), but we have to live with

aches and pains all the time... if my husband has a stiff neck from

the computer.... he nags and nags... I try so hard not to make any

comment... but it is sooooooo hard not to remind him that that would

be absolutely nothing to me... wouldn't even register as a tiny

nuisance... and when he gets a cold or flu he complains of feeling

achey all over... I am content when I ONLY FEEL ACHY.... but, again

have to 'bite my tongue' and keep from showing irritation at his

oversight of how I feel all the time... I don't think he will ever

get it.

My husband is wonderful, but I suppose PA takes on a life of its

own, not everyone can live with it... luckily I have been able to.

Better me than him, I think I would rather have it than to see him

go through all I have been and will always have to go through, I

would not wish this on anyone.... just to GET a bit of understanding

from others... support in a beneficial way, not pity...

.... anyway, I know you all understand, so keep smiling and hope you

all didn't mind my rambling

[Guest guest]

I actually have depression for which I have been on medication for

around 11 years. So my mother always reminds me that the pain

medications will mess with my sleep which in turn makes my depression

worse which she thinks is responsible for my pain. Well that would be

true if I was on Vicodin or Percocet. They make it so I can't sleep.

BUT I am NOT on them. I take Darvocet. It actually helps me sleep.

It wont matter what you tell your family about depression and pain.

They will continue to believe what they want. My mom has finally

realized to a certain extent the chronic pain I am in. But she will

never like the fact that I am going to be on pain meds for the rest of

my life or until I can find a medication that works. It just isn't

something that is feasible to her. At least she has stopped harassing

me about the medication I take. I think she is coming to terms with

the fact that My Dr is monitoring my meds and keeping me from abusing

them.

Don't feel like you are letting them down. They are letting YOU down.

You need their support. That is what family and friends are for. To

support you when you have hard times. They should be there for you to

listen to you and comfort you when you need it. I think many times if

they can't understand the problem they get frustrated because they

can't " fix " it for you.

" tweetygodess " <tweetygodess@...>

[Guest guest]

I don't even bother to tell people how I feel because they don't want to know

the truth. I just keep the pain to myself. I have psoriatic arthritis, fibro,

asthma, and cancer three times.......what med are you on for depression?

anne moody <dearmaxie@...>

[Guest guest]

- humor helps a lot, doesn't it? I'm so thankful to have the meds

making me feel so much better now. Now I can find some humor in this

whole situation!

" S. Zorzi " <szorzi_1999@...>

>

> Sherry,

> I loved you message so much I am still smiling.... I think your dog

> understands your pain... obviously.

[Guest guest]

Walt, I know my husband loves me, but I think the problem here is just plain old

" not paying attention. " That plus it's always been debatable

whether he loves me more, or the dogs - he'll admit this himself!

He talked to a lady at work who has RA and that has helped him

understand better. I'm fine with the level of understanding he

exhibits currently - just gotta laugh at him sometimes 'cause he can

be so clueless!

regards,

sherry z

[Guest guest]

Anne,

I am not sure to whom you are addressing... but the anti-depressant I

have been taking for at least 5 years has been Cipram (at 20 mgs

daily)... I hope this is of help to you and others...

--- In , anne moody <dearmaxie@...>

........what med are you on for depression?

anne moody <dearmaxie@...

[Guest guest]

   Thanks Bee for the new link on the salt. I clicked on the other one and some

how I ended up in France! (which would be nice) but I don't speak French, so I

couldn't order...LOL

    You mention the minerals are the same as in tears. You told me before about

the CO for my constant dry eyes, Is there a way to make my own eye drops with

the minerals?  I find just running warm water on my lids in the shower really

helps. Also,  " Can I wear my contacts for just short periods of time? " I am

tirrrred of my old ugly glasses. " No Jeanne, go buy some new glasses. " LOL

Love ya Bee;

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

>

>    Thanks Bee for the new link on the salt. I clicked on the other one and

some how I ended up in France! (which would be nice) but I don't speak French,

so I couldn't order...LOL

>

>     You mention the minerals are the same as in tears. You told me before

about the CO for my constant dry eyes, Is there a way to make my own eye drops

with the minerals?  I find just running warm water on my lids in the shower

really helps. Also,  " Can I wear my contacts for just short periods of time? " I

am tirrrred of my old ugly glasses. " No Jeanne, go buy some new glasses. " LOL

+++Hi Jeanne,

Using a salt solution would burn your eyes, however you can rinse your eyes with

baking soda or put it in by the drop.

Mix 1/4 teaspoon in 4 ounces of non-chlorinated water. You can use an eye cup

to rinse your eyes well 3 times a day and/or put drops in when needed.

You can massage your eyelids and all around your eyes, as well as the inner

corner where the tear ducts are located. This will stimulate tear production and

help prevent them from blocking up.

Also soothe your eyes by putting warm tea compresses on them. Compresses are

very soothing to red, burning, itching, inflammed eyes. Lie down with a warm tea

bag over each eye for 10 minutes at a time. You can use any kind of herbal tea

like chamomile, peppermint, etc.

I had to stop wearing contact lenses when I was curing my candida. I was glad I

did. Contact lenses are an intrusion and irritating to the eyes, so yes, it is

better to wear glasses. : )

Love ya too! Bee