HELP flaring, costco, back, fibro

[Guest guest]

It's been a long time, years since I've posted. since then I've gotten

progressively worse. damage mostly to hands and back. Oh diagnosis are

psoriatic/rheumatoid arthritis, sacroiliitis, costochondritis, narcolepsy,

depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, bursitis in one hip and right shoulder,

spondylitis, and others I'm probably leaving out.

I can't breathe! I have no insurance. I've been fighting for disability for 6

years. I lost my home, husband, car, money, career, just about everything.

became homeless and sold everything to move back to TX to be near my mom who is

now more supportive but I'm trying so hard to be strong and work but I can't do

it anymore. it's making me sicker and this will be the 5th job I've lost from my

illness. I can't lose my apartment. I have an 11 yr old dog who has been with me

all the way. I am 32 and got sick at 20. i probably will never have children so

she is the closest thing I have. she is my baby and I cannot live without

her.she's the only thing keeping me sane and she is all I have.

I'm exhausted physically, mentally and exhausted from the pain. ran out of my

MS-Contin 3 day ago and got a script for Opana. can't afford 800 rx. went to ER

and cause it's chronic pain all they gave me is Toradol. my doctor is on jury

duty so screwed there. meds I'm on: prednisone 15mg. Simponi, Mobic, MS-Contin

60mg 3x day, started Sevella but doctor said to stop cause of suicidal risk so

waiting for approval for Lyrica too. been 3 days with no pain meds and feel like

i am dying. can't breathe, can't hardly walk don't know what to do. I feel

abandoned. Had steroid induced psychosis so take Clonipin now. in Florida I had

no trouble getting my med. they had me on patient asst prog for oxy 40mg 3 x a

day and oxycodone 30mg 3x day for breakthrough. I was also taking Xanax for

panic attacks. i have sever agoraphobia. now I am in TX I have been extremely

under-medicated. I am happy to not be on so many drugs but it is ridiculous to

reduce it to the point I can't function on a minimal daily level and I'm in so

much pain I want to die. ER wouldn't help because it's chronic. I thought they

had to treat you.

I took every med, Enbrel, Orencia, MTX, Humira, Lortab, Duragesic, oxycontin,

oromorph, oxycodone, oxydose, etc. and 15-20mg of prednisone daily last 8 years.

and every anti inflammatory, anti depressant, and neurontin. I was 20 when i

got sick and I'm 32 now. Disability was denied because my age and i have a

college degree.

I've been hospitalized 5 or 6 times for the arthritis, about 1 x a year past 5

yrs. 3 x baker acted for mental past 3 years. and I lied about that stuff cause

I'm ashamed. i was in 6 mental hospitals from age 12-14 because of abuse.

I can't live with this pain. I have no insurance, no money and they are letting

me fall through the cracks. I can't function on a basic level. I don't know what

to do. I don't need to be pain free but I have to be able to breathe, clean my

home, and take care of my dog who is the only thing keeping me sane right now.

I'm scared, I want my life back. i would never hurt myself but I can't live like

this. doctors in TX suck.

Sorry for the rant. I used to post here a lot 8 years ago and it helped. Didn't

mean to over load.

" dvs_riotgrrrl " <dvs_riotgrrrl@...>