depression

[Guest guest]

Dear Anne Marie: Is it any wonder you're depressed?? You've got lyme

disease, and so far, it appears to be chronic! As my kids would say -

" Duh! " <g> Perhaps a counselor would allow you to air your feelings

of grief over your lack of health, so I am not suggesting that you do

not go. But don't you think that all of this depression would leave if

you were healthy?? Can they really paper over our emotions (and

sometimes anger) with drugs to dull our senses? If it will help you to

lead a normal life, then I'm all for it. If, however, it is to salve

the conscience of the medical profession so that they can stick you in a

pidgeon hole of psychiatric disorders that they CAN treat [unlike lyme],

then I have a reaction to it and a problem with it.

Keep the faith, sister~!

Lovette

[Guest guest]

First have you joined the ranks of us lymers who are on

antidepressants?......effexor is the one I take

Second, have you tried the lyme chats..MGH has one...do a

search...there's also one on delphi......

Third, if your up to it...RAISE SOME HELL......educate others about this

disease by asking teachers to bring it up in their classrooms....health

fairs to have booths.....girl scout troops to hand out info.....camp

grounds to post warnings etc.......

FOURTH BUT MOST IMPORTANT.....remember your not ALONE in this

fight......lymebrain

[Guest guest]

srb13741@... writes:

> FOURTH BUT MOST IMPORTANT.....remember your not ALONE in this

> fight......

This is the part I have trouble with. I highly respect all of you for dealing

with this terrible disease. My problem is that the only people who seem to

understand are other Lymies. The rest of the world turns their backs at me

when I get sick.

D.

[Guest guest]

Hi D.,

I've been in, and am still in the same position -- some days I'm so BORED I

think I'll go out of my mind! One of the biggest adjustments I had to make

was being patient with myself. I've learned that something that would take

me a day to accomplish before can take several days now. But here's some of

the things I've tried to kill time.

If I have any energy I pick small areas of the house and try to clean up. I

mean small, somedays I will spend the day just cleaning off the dining room

table, or just picking up the clothes off the bedroom floor. It keeps me

busy, but it also makes me feel like I'm contributing as much as I can to

helping with the house work.

I've also picked up some hobbies. But I always make sure it's something that

I can pickup and put back down at any time. For example, I made cornices for

my dining room. One day I'd cut the material, next day the batting, etc...

It kept me busy for a while.

I'm reading a lot more these days too. I always buy books with the largest

print available. And there's also books on tape if reading is a problem.

And of course, I've caught up on most of the video's I've wanted to see.

They love me at Blockbuster, I'm probably their best customer!

These are some of the things that have helped me. But my best advise is to

find something that YOU are interested in, and pace yourself with whatever

project you find.

Take care,

PS Don't forget about the list! Somedays this can keep you busy for hours!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have been blessed with a wonderful, loving (LARGE) family. I'm married to

a wonderful man, I have 3 sisters, 2 brothers and a whole bunch of nieces and

nephews! Even the little ones understand that I'm sick, and they've all been

involved during my illness. My 8 year old niece lifted something for me the

other day -- Because I have weary old bones! It was so sweet!

But, even with their support sometimes I feel like they " just don't get it "

not matter how hard they try. And they never will, it's a unique experience

that you can't explain and can't truly share. There just aren't words to

really explain what's going on. Heck, somedays I can't even understand

what's happening. That's why I've found so much comfort from this list.

Everyone here really does UNDERSTAND!

Hopefully, you have friends and family you can count on. Accept the support

they give and know they are truly trying to help. You might also want to

join the local support group.

But, NEVER think you are alone!!!! You have a lot of friends right here!

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/30/99 10:06:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Iggy81@...

writes:

<< s away? I can't stand being home

alone and sick all of the time. I know that sometimes life throws us

lemons,

but us Lymies seem to get bombarded with them. I don't know how many more I

can take.....hope you all feel better.

>>

I know how you feel. I try different things to pass the day depending on how

I'm feeling. If I'm having a bad week I have my boyfriend rent movies for

me. Usually movies that I know that he won't see with me (he calls them

chick flicks) but that I enjoy. I also call a friend or a close relative.

When I don't feel good I talk to my grandma and feel so much better. When I

feel a bit better, I try and do some crafts. I like to make chocalate roses

and poporia bowels. (I didn't know I was crafty until being sick) Also

when it's not too sunny out, I like to sit on the poarch and breath in the

fresh air. (Make sure you wear your sun glasses) That's how I try and make

the time pass. Hope you feel better.

[Guest guest]

lisa......believe me i know where ur coming from......i try to keep busy both

online and off i write many letters to the editor about lyme .....educate

people.....and keep on the politicans butts about this disease.....I have a

great family who trys to understand......but they have not walked a mile in

my shoes......besides lyme i am a recovering alcoholic......so life is real

interesting my sponsor in aa is also a lymie......so we understand each

other.....but this disease is so horrid that only others that have it can

fully comprehend feeling shitty almost all of the time.....they ask where i

hurt( allover) how i can sleep so much ( IM exausted) and my wife is a

" planner " and i can'tr make plans as i never know how i will feel......but io

try to make the most of it......now that the weather is nice i try to go

outside if even for a little while.....as for feeling i tell them think of ur

worst case of the flu....now add the way u feel after starting a new exercise

program or the first softball practice of the year.....( tied and achy to the

bone) add them together and thats kinda how i feel.....even tho " I look good "

( arggggggg hate that saying) now that i am going to the veterans admin for

most of my medical problems i have to try to teach most of my docs there

about lyme they are still qutoing me sigal from 6 years ago......then i tell

them that sigal told me i am chronic.......they stare......just went thru it

today again with my primary she is sending me to lnf. disease

clinic.......since i have no insurance anymore i can not go to my llmd like i

use to all the time though we email each other once a week and talk on the

phone......pluss with no prescribtion plan anymore i find it hard to afford

abx....( ssd only stretches so far...a) oh well i make the best with what i

got......and keep pluggin away.......love and prayers to all

Reid

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

If you have the time, start a e-mail, or phone support group. You can put

free ads in the Community Bulletin board in the paper and on cable. You may

get some calls and can start sending out education on Lyme. I will help you

if I can.

hang in there,

Connie

[Guest guest]

Hi again ,

You are right about the rest of the world turning thier back, but everytime I

give a lecture, no matter how tired I am, I feel good about it. People are

very sympathetic that have heard out plight for the first time.

Hugs,

Connie

[Guest guest]

The problem I have is that I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but just

to be my friend. It means the world to me when someone decides to spend their

Fri. night here watching a movie with me instead of going out. I don't expect

it all of the time, but it is nice once in a while. I just feel so alone half

of the time. It is not fun.

[Guest guest]

What great suggestions, you certainly are no Lymebrain! Getting involved is

a great way to pass the time and it sure can help our cause to get this

disease recognized and a search for a cure.

Marta

>From: sherri borgquist <srb13741@...>

>

>First have you joined the ranks of us lymers who are on

>antidepressants?......effexor is the one I take

>

>Second, have you tried the lyme chats..MGH has one...do a

>search...there's also one on delphi......

>

>Third, if your up to it...RAISE SOME HELL......educate others about this

>disease by asking teachers to bring it up in their classrooms....health

>fairs to have booths.....girl scout troops to hand out info.....camp

>grounds to post warnings etc.......

>

>FOURTH BUT MOST IMPORTANT.....remember your not ALONE in this

>fight......lymebrain

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have felt that way too, but I really think it is the depression making

you feel this way. I left work in Oct 96 due to this disease, I have not

heard from one of my coworkers for at least 2 years now. That really hurt

at first...but now I realize life goes on, and I actually have nothing in

common with these people anymore anyway. People are funny, they don't

understand Lyme disease, or other illnesses either, so they tend to shy away

from us. They have their own lives and families so I bear them no ill will.

Now as for family and close friends, they are very important whether we

are sick or not. We need their support and understanding. I must admit

that since the darn commercial for Lymerix has aired, and it does air a lot

here in the East, I am getting new respect from these people. Not quite the

way I would want it, but what the heck. I really think you should consider

an antidepressant, I have been on Paxil for about a year and a half now, and

it truly has been a God send for me.

Depression in my case, was feeling sorry for myself, poor me. I got this

lousy disease through no fault of my own, etc... Now I guess because of the

antidepressant, I don't feel that way anymore. There are lots of people

with Lyme and other diseases that are much worse off then I am. It sounds

corny, but I am counting my blessings more now than I ever did. I really

know where you are coming from, I have been there myself. I used to watch

people on TV shows having fun or being active, and I would envy them.

Depression is a major part of this disease process, true it is secondary to

our Lyme....but it is inevitable. Please talk to your doctor about this,

and see if he can help you. It is no fun being depressed, and it can be

treated.

Hugs,

Marta

>From: Iggy81@...

>

>>

>This is the part I have trouble with. I highly respect all of you for

dealing

>with this terrible disease. My problem is that the only people who seem to

>understand are other Lymies. The rest of the world turns their backs at me

>when I get sick.

>

> D.

>

[Guest guest]

,

I know how diffiicult it is to feel isolated with this illness., even if

you live with others. A friend of mine with CFS and I have frequetly

talked about creating a community for people with chronc illnesses,

perhaps as simple as a group of us renting in the same development.

Anything to overcome this feeling of not being part of the world because

of the isolation of this illness. I do want to keep putting this idea

of a community out there, so that people who are interested might start

responding and organizing.

Ellen

[Guest guest]

Dear Val: I am on my 3rd month of IV Zithromax. It created a wild

emotional ride for me. So, my doc put me on 25 mg of Zoloft. The pills

are almost as tiny as the borrelia! But, as soon as I took one [and I

was really scared to take it!] the emotional trauma ended immediately.

It was truly amazing. My doc said that I am NOT depressed - most lyme

patients aren't - it's just that the bacteria is in the front part of

the brain which controls the emotions. So, he gives less antidepressant

than someone who needs it for depression [he said for depression to take

between 100 -250 mg/day]. Plus, the reason he gave for the lack of

depression was the evaluation of my SPECT scan. It definitely had that

" swiss cheese " lyme look, which is not at all like a depression SPECT

scan would look.

Lovette

[Guest guest]

Hi Lovette,

I am so happy the Zoloft works for you, I swear by my Paxil. Being

depressed seems to carry with it almost as much stigma as Lyme disease.

There is not a thing wrong with being depressed, it is most always secondary

to being chronically ill, no matter what the disease. I knew I was in

trouble when I started to think dark thoughts, I was one miserable person,

and I hated being like that, I wasn't like that before...(well sometimes, to

my husband...LOL). The difference for me was like night and day, no longer

did the situation seem so hopeless. Sadly, some Lyme patients commit

suicide, I did not want to be in that statistic, so I gladly accepted the

help from the Paxil. Mine took a few weeks before I saw the difference, and

it even seemed to help me with the pain, when I commented that to my doctor,

he told me I was having the same pain, I was just dealing with it better. I

never had a spect scan done, so not sure what my brain looks like, not even

sure if I care at this point. Lots of people are able to cope without these

drugs, and I think they are terrific and lucky, too. No one should ever

feel bad about taking anything that will make them feel better when their

trusted doctor recommends it. Just my 2 cents.

Hugs,

Marta

>From: " F. Mott " <smott@...>

>

>Dear Val: I am on my 3rd month of IV Zithromax. It created a wild

>emotional ride for me. So, my doc put me on 25 mg of Zoloft. The pills

>are almost as tiny as the borrelia! But, as soon as I took one [and I

>was really scared to take it!] the emotional trauma ended immediately.

>It was truly amazing. My doc said that I am NOT depressed - most lyme

>patients aren't - it's just that the bacteria is in the front part of

>the brain which controls the emotions. So, he gives less antidepressant

>than someone who needs it for depression [he said for depression to take

>between 100 -250 mg/day]. Plus, the reason he gave for the lack of

>depression was the evaluation of my SPECT scan. It definitely had that

> " swiss cheese " lyme look, which is not at all like a depression SPECT

>scan would look.

>

>Lovette

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/1/99 7:06:35 PM, smott@... writes:

<< Plus, the reason he gave for the lack of

depression was the evaluation of my SPECT scan. It definitely had that

" swiss cheese " lyme look, which is not at all like a depression SPECT

scan would look.

Lovette>>

Than You for the advice on antidepressents I will try to ask my doc about

them because being depressed like this really makes everything about 100

times worse it is so terrible. One thing i have learned about this disease is

to know what it feels like to walk in many peoples shoes because of so many

different system problems feel better. -Val

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/2/1999 9:32:12 PM Eastern Daylight Time, ValP74@...

writes:

> Than You for the advice on antidepressents I will try to ask my doc about

> them because being depressed like this really makes everything about 100

> times worse it is so terrible. One thing i have learned about this disease

> is

> to know what it feels like to walk in many peoples shoes because of so

many

> different system problems feel better. -Val

>

>

Hello Val:

One thing I learned....from experience...is that not all

antidepressants will work. (because of the lyme according

to the psychiatrist I went to) I had to try at least four

different ones before settling on Zoloft. I also used Paxil

for quite some time...but then it stopped working. Sometimes

they will work right away....and sometimes it will take a few

weeks. My mom was put on Zoloft after her last heart attack,

she does not have lyme, and it took her 4 weeks to have improvement.

I am on only 100 mg of Zoloft per day....this is a low dosage,

and that is why I will still experience several episodes of severe

depression and self loathing....at least twice a month.....with the

full moon and with the new moon. ( I have been keeping track of

this phenomenon for a year now!) I hope you have luck getting

your doc to prescribe it....if not, find a psychiatrist to get the

ball rolling and then your doc will more than likely agree to

continue to prescribe refills. And don't get discouraged if

at first you don't have relief....give it a chance and in the

meantime PRAY.....

hugs,'

Fransea

NJ Seashore

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/3/99 1:23:36 AM, SEAFRAN731@... writes:

<< your doc to prescribe it....if not, find a psychiatrist to get the

ball rolling and then your doc will more than likely agree to

continue to prescribe refills. And don't get discouraged if

at first you don't have relief....give it a chance and in the

meantime PRAY.....

hugs,'

Fransea

NJ Seashore

>>

Than you for the advice. Feel better always My prayers are with you -Val

[Guest guest]

Welcome Sue,

Thanks for sharing.........I too have been suffering with depression for

some time......

Have been on just about every antidepressant you can name!!! Prozac was

the only thing that worked the longest for me. I do all the other things

you mentioned except the support group......some days are very

difficult......but I have a great Psycho-therapist.

I would be dead.......without her.......Connie nwnj

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

Welcome to the group and above all thanks for all your ideas on how to

cope with the depression that many of us suffer from. I too, found my tick

in my scalp and I am certain he fed for at least three days, I became

immediately ill, and was later diagnosed with Human Monocytic Ehrlichiosis,

as well as Lyme disease.

I am so sorry you found another tick on you in April. I am sorry if I read

your message wrong, (foggy today). Have you been suffering strange symptoms

for the past 30 years, or is it new to you since April??? I know you were

dx'd with hypothyroidism awhile back, do you attribute that to your older

tick bite? This disease is so strange, many can walk around for years with

the spirochetes resting dormant in their bodies, only to come out and rear

their ugly heads after a time of stress in one's life. Sorry for all the

questions, again welcome, I hope you find support and information here. And

again, thanks for sharing what helps you to cope.

Hugs,

Marta NJ

>From: Sue <tlizzy@...>

>

>Hi - I haven't made an introductory post yet. My name is Sue, and I

>live in Wilmington, DE. I've been studying up on Lyme for ~6 months

>now, and am awaiting test results after a visit to an LLMD. I was

>diagnosed w/hypothyroidism about 18 mos ago (after trying lithium, for

>my depression), and fibromyalgia this past March. I had a tick embedded

>in my head for several days, after a camping trip, ~30 yrs ago. About

>11-12 yrs ago, son found a deer tick on his leg - it was not attached -

>not sure where it came from, but shortly after that was when many of my

>symptoms became troublesome. Then this past April, my son had to remove

>a deer tick embedded in my back - had been there <24 hrs.

>

>Since I've seen several posts come thru on depression, and 2+ yrs ago,

>lost my job due to it (could no longer perform my duties), I thought I'd

>share w/the list some things which I found helped me to cope (in addition

>to other measures, ie, antidepressants, therapy, support group, etc).

>No antidepressant really ever helped, tho - the first med that seemed to

>do anything for the depression, as well as other things, was Synthroid.

[Guest guest]

rom: Sue <tlizzy@...> typed....

<< No antidepressant really ever helped, tho - the first med that seemed to

>do anything for the depression, as well as other things, was Synthroid.

If you are already on Synthroid, and it is helping your mood...and you have

lyme...I would strongly encourage to have your T3 levels checked and ask your

Dr. about Cytomel in addition to the Synthroid....Synthroid is T4 alone...our

bodies convert it in the liver to T3...Lyme patients often have a problem at

the cellular level doing this conversion...so the addition of T3 can be of

tremendous value ESP in a LYME patient...my endo easily ordered it for

me...and it has made a tremendous improvement overall...since many depressed

patients are often given T3...adding T3 can only help overall mood....if you

need documentation go to about.com and look for the article that references

the NEJM published study from early this year about Cytomel v. Synthroid

alone.....Bernadette

>>

[Guest guest]

Connie

I am so sorry to hear of this worsening depression that has gotten a hold on you! I have heard and read you mention it a few times lately, but have never mentioned that you are consulting with your doctor about this....Are you? This sounds a little more serious than what St. s Wort may take care of. Take care....

All the best,

Happy (Maine)

[Guest guest]

Personal experience....

I tried w/out the anti-depressants....tried St. 's Wort, did not work.

Tried Paxil/Prozac/Zoloft. Am having great success w/ Wellbutrin.

Unfortunately, lymies are chemically insufficient in seratonin and that is

just the way it is. The result? depression, anger outbursts, mood swings,

suicidal thoughts. I was real bad. MANY swear up and down, say words they

have never spoken before, scream at small children, don't give a hoot about

anybody or anything. I was there. Wellbutrin has been my answer. Although I

am 99% better from lyme symptoms, I still need Wellbutrin. Why suffer?

I am not a pill-popper, as a matter of fact, I used to never even take a

Tylenol for a headache. We have to do what we have to do.

I know this sounds trite, but also try to surround yourself with positive

people. When we are negative, we tend to " flock together " with other negative

people. Find a positive purpose for your life and DO IT!!!! Take care of

yourself and you will find yourself feeling better.

Write me privately if you need to talk, I would love to help.

sue in nj

[Guest guest]

Connie-

I can make suggestions.... when I was totally defeated, I mean TOTALLY, I

would " freak out " , take off in the car and do crazy things....after learning

and reconditioning my reckless behaviour, I can say now that I learned it is

imperative to do something for yourself. What hobby or sport or career have

you always wanted to pursue??? (besides teaching which is what I started out

doing). Have you ever wanted to learn how to cut hair?? (I did this), or how

about doing stained glass projects? or ceramics? or how about bowling?? Get a

new haircut just because, color your hair, get your nails done. Finally, do

the research on what you really would like to do---this is a great

distraction and you will be having fun at the same time. I DEFINITELY think

your wellness depends on your state of mind. I have lymie friends that just

stew in the " lymie " frame of mind and they are miserable. One girlfriend

found a boyfriend and it changed her whole life. Suddenly she was not in bed

all the time, went clothes shopping for the 1st time in years and was wearing

make-up again. I am NOT suggesting to have an affair....just find something

positive. I KNOW how it is that you do not even want to be around 1

person!!!! been there, done it. I used to not leave my house for days!!!!!

would close myself in my room and not even talk to my kids. IT DOES PASS!!!!!

WITH ANTIBIOTICS and working on getting your health in a better state. DO THE

ALTERNATIVES TOO. Go to a massage therapist, accupuncture, etc. Believe it or

not, some of these are covered by insurance!!!! Can't afford it, work out a

barter deal possibly, it does work. Are you having trouble with insomnia????

Sleep deprivation is huge with depression. One must accomplish REM sleep or

you will be worn out. I have suggestions....

sue in nj

[Guest guest]

Connie-

I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news but it seems you are not 'symptom

free'. Depression, insomnia are just some of the symptoms of lyme. I will bet

that you are still having an occassional headache, maybe sinus problems,

lower back pain, a little something here and there and are not attributing

these things as being symptoms. THEY ARE!!! THAT is why you are having such a

difficult time with depression. If I were you, I would know there are 2

routes to go at this time, either get to your LLMD (on the 11th) and get back

on an antibiotic or start right now and get some olive leaf extract and start

taking that. I AM SURE once you get started with whatever treatment, you will

feel so much better after a duration. Build up your immune system, vitamins,

especially Bs and Cs, Colostrum is excellent too.

sue in nj