Re: Depression and irrationality

[Guest guest]

,

When I was on Effexor I had awful nightmares. But before I was on any

antibiotics or anti-depressants, but while sick with Lyme and not aware of

it, I started having those terrible, vivid nightmares. As for the anger,

I've never been one to hold a grudge, and actually disliked this trait in

myself. I always forgave so easily, that people walked all over me. What you

described sounds just like me now. It comes out of my mouth, and I regret

it, but I'm so mad I don't take it back, and I keep going on. I think its

more the Lyme than anti-depressants. But of course, it could be the

combination of the pain, and the " sick and tired of being sick & tired "

feelings, and maybe all the meds we are on. I feel like I'm PMSing all the

time! BTW, once I stopped the Effexor the nightmares ended, so I really do

think the Effexor contributed to that, it also had horrible side effects,

such as wiring me out and totally ruined my sex life, or what was left of

that. Wellbutrin doesn't seem to have any bad side effects that I have

noticed except for a " yucky " taste in my mouth, compounded by the overgrowth

of yeast. But as beth has always said, everyone reacts different to all

the different anti-depressants, and you have to keep trying them until you

find one that works for you. What I'd really like though, is some Valium!

Take care

Vicki, Md

-----Original Message-----

>From: lisa86@...

>

>The depression has been around so long that I don't know what it's like to

>NOT be depressed anymore. But lately, I've been experiencing the rage some

of

>you are mentioning. I lash out without meaning it and stay too mad to

retract

>it. How could I possibly expect my family to understand?

[Guest guest]

vicki, md writes:

>>>What you

described sounds just like me now. It comes out of my mouth, and I regret

it, but I'm so mad I don't take it back, and I keep going on<<<

that is the exact perfect discription.

" it comes out of my mouth. "

i know i should shut up. i know it is wrong, but it just poors out. i don't

think it is antidepressants. i have had this problem for years.

ranting and raving. stupid stuff. OVERWHELMED!

then GUILT. thinking i am a very BAD person...

an old boyfriend used to describe it like getting on a rollercoaster, all

you can do is hold on and ride it out once it starts, there is no stopping

it until it is ready to stop.

hope,

kay

[Guest guest]

Kay,

I used to be a very angry person. I never knew why until I got older.

I did not like that trait within myself at all. I am a Christian, so I

asked God to show me why I was so angry. Guess what??? He did. Little by

little he began to reveal situations in my life that had caused me a lot of

pain. I dealt with each event one at a time. I began to see that I had

been hurt soooooo much and it had turned to anger. I had to be willing to

forgive those that had hurt me so that I could be free of the anger. Here

they were going about their lives and I was living in bondage....I am still

working through some difficult issues, but God is gentle and takes His time

with me. Forgiveness can be very hard for some people. Like Me! It hurts

to be betrayed by those we love......Hugs...

Re: [Lyme-aid] Depression and irrationality

>From: " Kay " <b10g7@...>

>

>vicki, md writes:

>>>>What you

>described sounds just like me now. It comes out of my mouth, and I regret

>it, but I'm so mad I don't take it back, and I keep going on<<<

>

>that is the exact perfect discription.

>

> " it comes out of my mouth. "

>

>i know i should shut up. i know it is wrong, but it just poors out. i don't

>think it is antidepressants. i have had this problem for years.

>

>ranting and raving. stupid stuff. OVERWHELMED!

>

>then GUILT. thinking i am a very BAD person...

>

>an old boyfriend used to describe it like getting on a rollercoaster, all

>you can do is hold on and ride it out once it starts, there is no stopping

>it until it is ready to stop.

>

>hope,

>kay

>

>>Send to -Offtopiconelist messages unrelated to lyme, please.

>/archive/lyme-aid

>/archives.cgi/Lyme-Documents

>To unsubscribe, send email to -unsubscribeonelist

>You may substitute " subscribe " , or " digest " or " normal " for

>the word " unsubscribe " ( " normal " is the opposite of " digest " ). Leave blank

both the message and subject header.

>

[Guest guest]

thanks linda for your response.

i realize wounds from past wrongs caused me to be a different kind of angry.

not the ranting angry lyme caused me.

i worked through my childhood scars using forgiveness about 18 years ago.

have you ever read any of david seamans' books? they helped me tremendously.

you are right, forgiving, truly forgiving is a very hard thing to do and

most importantly it is for you, not those who have hurt you.

zoloft literally stopped my raging and depression. there are times i have to

take 200 mg. because something is making me feel a little of that anger

again. most of the time i take 150 mg. a day.

whenever i have tried to go to 100 mg. i can feel the rage and feelings of

being OVERWHELMED building in me. i start saying inappropriate things and i

take 100mg. zoloft as quickly as i can. it has always done the job within

hours.

i have taken zoloft since jan. 98 and look forward to being well enough from

treating lyme to be able to stop taking it some day. i am very glad i found

zoloft.

peace,

kay

>>> I had to be willing to

forgive those that had hurt me so that I could be free of the anger. Here

they were going about their lives and I was living in bondage....I am still

working through some difficult issues, but God is gentle and takes His time

with me. Forgiveness can be very hard for some people. Like Me! It hurts

to be betrayed by those we love......Hugs...<<<

>>> I had to be willing to

forgive those that had hurt me so that I could be free of the anger. Here

they were going about their lives and I was living in bondage....I am still

working through some difficult issues, but God is gentle and takes His time

with me. Forgiveness can be very hard for some people. Like Me! It hurts

to be betrayed by those we love......Hugs...<<<

[Guest guest]

I would like to share my feelings on anger control. I was bitten and

developed a bullseye rash in 1991. I lost energy and went through many

different diagnoses including Mononeucleosis, Epstein-Barr, and CFS as well

as Lyme's. I eventually got so used to my lethargy that I figured it was just

a part of me. In 1997, I started really coming apart. My relationship ended

and I simply didn't care about my career or much else. I had a breakdown or

five and started seeing therapists. Finally, I went to a bio-energetic

therapist who sent me to another B.E. who uses a bio-feedback device. He is

the one who suggested Lyme's disease and sent me to Dr. Bach. First good luck

that I had in years. Anyway - back to what I got from bio-energetics: to

purge out the angry feelings, take a tennis racket or something like that and

really let loose on some pillows or the couch or bed. Don't hold back - just

let it really go and after you catch your breath, i promise your head will

feel so much better. Drug free and it takes about 30 seconds.

Damien

[Guest guest]

Damien,

Thanks for the advice, but I don't have the strength to do that? Any other

suggestions? I liked how you put this: " I had a breakdown or five and

started seeing therapists " . Did the therapists help you? I'm seriously

starting to think I need to see one, not only rage and anger, but feeling

like I'm going crazy sometimes and depressed even though I'm on

anti-depressants. Thanks for you advise. Vicki, Md

>From: Fchickens@...

>

Anyway - back to what I got from bio-energetics: to

>purge out the angry feelings, take a tennis racket or something like that

and

>really let loose on some pillows or the couch or bed. Don't hold back -

just

>let it really go and after you catch your breath, i promise your head will

>feel so much better. Drug free and it takes about 30 seconds.

>

>Damien

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/17/99 3:12:19 AM EDT, ferraroa@... writes:

<< Did the therapists help you? I'm seriously

starting to think I need to see one, not only rage and anger, but feeling

like I'm going crazy sometimes and depressed even though I'm on

anti-depressants. >>

Hi Vicki,

I feel just like you sometimes.Thank God I haven't been feeling that way

lately. It comes and goes in stages. I think it gets worse when I am on abx.

I feel as if My head and My body are not connected. It is just like an out of

body experience. Sometimes I just cant believe the things that I do and say

or how I react to certain things . Then later on when I look back, its like

it just wasn't me. I feel guilty as all hell and just very upset with myself.

Iwish I could just cut myhead off so that I can take a cerebral rest !!! I

am not on antidepressants. I tried many ,but am so hypersentitive to them. I

went to a therapist and a psychaitrist, but that made me even more depressed

.. I think what happens with me is that I wait until I am freaking out to go

see the therapist and then when I get there I don't have the patients to sit

and talk and wait for relief. I want it right away and it doesn't work that

way , therapy takes time. It also made me feel worse talking about

" everything " I felt as if I was re living everythign all over again. So I

just stopped going, now when I get " crazy in the head " I TRY REAL HARD..to

remember that it is the lyme and the meds and the way that I am reacting to

the meds and that IT WILL PASs. I try to stay away from people and things

that will tick me off during that time and just hope that I can control

myself ( temper and craziness) until it DOES pass. I think that , for me,

the neuro symptoms are definitely the worse. I can deal with all of the

constant everyday excrutiating pain, its amazing how we build up a tolerance

for pain, but the neuro stuff is just uncontrollable. I feel so out of

control of my body . Thats the worse part for me.

Everyone is different Vicki, if you haven't been to therapy and think it may

help you, then you have nothing to loose, try it, it just may help.If it

doesn't you can always just stop. Good Luck Sweetie. I'm so sorry that ur

feeling this way. I hope it passes quickly.

{{{{{VICKI}}}}}}

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks so much for your post. I feel like you, I went to a therapist years

ago when I was going through a divorce. And it did make me feel worse.

Drudging up all the old pains I thought I was done with. But you pointed out

a very important fact, all the meds and Lyme will make you feel disconnected

or not yourself. I know that, just need to hear it from someone else now and

again. Thanks so much. I always liked the saying " this too shall pass " , I

need to keep repeating that to myself. Thanks again. !

Vicki, Md

>From: BearyPrety@...

>

>Hi Vicki,

>I feel as if My head and My body are not connected. It is just like an out

of

>body experience. Sometimes I just cant believe the things that I do and say

>or how I react to certain things . Then later on when I look back, its

like

>it just wasn't me. I feel guilty as all hell and just very upset with

myself.

>Iwish I could just cut myhead off so that I can take a cerebral rest !!! I

>am not on antidepressants. I tried many ,but am so hypersentitive to them.

I

>went to a therapist and a psychaitrist, but that made me even more

depressed

I felt as if I was re living everythign all over again. So I

>just stopped going, now when I get " crazy in the head " I TRY REAL HARD..to

>remember that it is the lyme and the meds and the way that I am reacting to

>the meds and that IT WILL PASs.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 99-12-18 04:02:06 EST, you write:

<< ,

Thanks so much for your post. I feel like you, I went to a therapist years

ago when I was going through a divorce. And it did make me feel worse.

Drudging up all the old pains I thought I was done with. >>

Dear Vicki, & All,

The healing music tapes or CDs can help a lot. I read the cover on one that

said it actually helps to break up old, negative thought patterns.

(Physicists have proven (quantum) that all matter (including thoughts) are

" particles of frozen light " (Per Dr. Gerbers Vibrational Medicine) & that

certain types (or frequencies) tend to stick together and attract even more

of the same kind (or frequency). So, I suppose this is why " like begets

like, " " birds of a feather flock together " etc. & thoughts attract others of

same type.

Hope this helps!

Chris

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/17/99 3:12:22 AM, ferraroa@... writes:

Vicki and all,

The therapists do help. Actually, I'm down to one now. I have other

psychological " issues " that confuse me as to what is Lyme and what is from my

past traumas. I definitely think the Lyme attacks you where you are weak

though. in other words, everyone is different. So, with this in mind, it is

up to you to find someone who is willing to understand your problems are from

little bugs and you need help dealing with this diseases. Also, I am seeking

support groups and find talking to people with Lyme's and these lists help to

re-assure me that I'm not a complete kookoo. Finally, after becoming a little

more informed as to Lyme's neurological assaults, I am going to contact the

psychiatrist who first suggested I might have Lyme's. His name is Dr. Marvin

Berman and he does groundbreaking work using a bio-feedback machine that

measures a certain brainwave activity which he links to many disorders such

as depression and seizures. The machine then helps to re-calibrate your

brainwaves to the correct speed. You repair yourself. My LLMD has dubbed me

a case study and says I should be in a wheelchair my spiros are so high, so

what the heck, I'll try anything. Will keep you posted.

Damien

<< Damien,

Thanks for the advice, but I don't have the strength to do that? Any other

suggestions? I liked how you put this: " I had a breakdown or five and

started seeing therapists " . Did the therapists help you? I'm seriously

starting to think I need to see one, not only rage and anger, but feeling

like I'm going crazy sometimes and depressed even though I'm on

anti-depressants. Thanks for you advise. Vicki, Md

>>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 99-12-18 12:39:38 EST, you write:

<< he does groundbreaking work using a bio-feedback machine that

measures a certain brainwave activity which he links to many disorders such

as depression and seizures. The machine then helps to re-calibrate your

brainwaves to the correct speed. You repair yourself. >>

Dear Damien & All,

VERY COOL! VBG!

Am doing some reprogramming here too - with " Brainwave Symphony " (alpha wave

music), harp music & healing music. Works!

The alpha, beta, delta & theta waves are what keep our brains functioning

correctly or, in some situations, malfunctioning.

Flax oil, CO-q-10 & EPA (fish oil) are also super for nerves, heart & BRAIN!

Flax & co-q-10 are frequently used to treat depressed patients ( &

schizofrenics (sp) too) because they've been shown to increase frontal lobe

activity - something that's reduced in depressed persons.

Hope this helps!

Blessings & velcro hugs,

Chris