Feeling Discouraged and Sad...

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

Went to the rheumatologist today. As he puts it " Old Arthur is having

a good time in me and doesn't want to give up " . The Humira is not

working. I am for the first time today having some really negative

thoughts. What if this is as good as I am ever going feel again? I

feel cruddy! The next step is to take two more doses of the Humira

and if does not kick in then switch to Remicade. Remicade scares me!

I am unfamiliar with the administration process. At least when I do

my own shots at home I can scream and sing and be generally weird in

the privacy of my own home. What if the remicade doesn't work, I feel

like I am getting towards the end of the options at this point. I

looked at my baby girl today and wondered if I hadn't had her if this

thing would have stayed in remission. That's NOT an okay thing to

think, I love her sooo much and I have spent the first two years of

her life in pain. This just stinks! I have been trying to lose weight

on weight watchers since the middle of July and have gone down a

whole whopping 5 pounds! My hormones are completely out of whack...

I'm almost 37 and I feel like I am 87 instead! I have decided to stop

prednisone for awhile. I've been on it for 18 months and I feel this

yucky, what's the point in taking it right? My doc told me to go down

to 5 mg for a week and then 5 every other day for a week and then

stop. Maybe this will help with the delightful puffy face and weight

gain... Thanks for letting me grump and vent... I appreciate the kind

ear.

Sam