Re: Re: How to approach parents about biomedical during open house tonig

[Guest guest]

Most I have tried to talk to about it look at me like I'm crazy. I got over

worrying or feeling bad about them thinking that, and I try anyway. Many

say to me, " That would be too hard, " so I just move on.

The school, too, just thought I was crazy and I supposed they just humored

me. They did agree to adhere to our son's diet per his doctor sending a

note along with giving him his supplement mash in the beginning when he had

his breakfast at school.

My son was severe after regression. He was completely non-verbal other

than echolalia at times and a lot of verbal stimming.

I pulled him from the district when he was three and a half, and by the next

year, my husband and son saw the head of special ed at the grocery store and

she was amazed. Ethan had some functional speech and receptive speech by

that time, and he had no more stimming. She told my husband our son could

go into pre-K upon return.

We returned him, but the !@#$% principal put him back in self-contained.

Our son continued to improve and gain more speech and eye contact, and one

day when I picked him up, his teacher said, " It's a miracle! "

Yet, they continued to insist he remain in self-contained and when I asked

the superintendent where my son was going once he left the elementary, he

told me after fourth grade he would be bused to a self-contained room twenty

some odd miles away, where he would remain until he was twenty-one and then

booted out the door! (I was livid). I said, " No, no , no, *that* is

*NOT*what is going to happen! "

Even if your child gets better, once they have the label, it is hard for

them to see the child as anything other than what they first thought. Over

time, my son's stimming came back and got worse, and last year he regressed

so badly regarding adaptability and anxiety. Then through events that

occurred I realized that all they done was create an IEP but not really

implement it nor track his progress ethically nor appropriately. He was

just " there. " A straight A-B student of ten who couldn't comprehend a thing

he read and another year lost academically.

His critical areas were math and reading, for which he was in resource, and

this is where the bulk of progress grades were fabricated.

I tired discussing it with another parent who is friends with some of the

teachers, and evidently this teacher told this parent, " Well, he just

couldn't do the work. He just couldn't do the work, so what was I supposed

to do? "

I told her well for starters she could have told the truth on a federally

mandated document. Then I told her, " So let me get this straight. We have

federal and state laws protecting children like my son, but what your saying

is that it is okay just to blow off these laws? "

Now after really researching through all the years (I save everything from

school) I doubt they ever really implemented any IEP he ever had.

Those of you just starting out, I suggest you save EVERYTHING from school

and put it in notebooks in chronological order. document every phone call,

meeting, one on one conversation, daily notes back and forth etc...

EVERYTHING!

Refuse " observation " as a means of criterion for mastery. If they insist on

this or for cases with completely non-verbal children, make them videotape

discrete trial testing of mastery of objectives no less than once every six

weeks.

Regarding trying to get other parents on board with biomedical, all you can

do is try. Even though they thought I was crazy, and I noticed the rolling

eyes when I said my son would get better --I just kept at it, and my son

regained all forms of speech. We talk about things now. We have short

conversations.

In our home program, he is finally making real progress. He is smart, but

schools have a way of wrecking the self confidence of these children and

quite frankly of making them lazy:

No matter how my son did on anything they would tell him he did great and

made a " 100. " So he learned that " success " comes easy and he really didn't

have to try very hard, but the truth was he was failing. So I am having to

teach him that you do have to put forth effort. They also taught him that

if you are bored, you can just tune out and get away with it. We don't

allow that here.

Also, they would give him tons of prompts, and if they practically did it

for him, they would still give him all the credit. Any question that

requires a prompt here or with his tutor is NOT counted as correct. He has

to get answers right on his own for them to be counted as correct, so his

mastery level --determined by trials an not percentages -- has to be a true

and independent count. When he can get eight out of ten correct all by

himself on a consistent basis, then and only then has he mastered a skill.

One of the greatest dignities we can give these children is the right to

fail, learn from one's mistakes, and realize that it takes hard work and

effort to succeed. We left all the " pity " behind at the public school.

[Guest guest]

Now you've left me wondering if that is what may be happening with Mickie.

He is non verbal too. Last night at open house I heard a lot about

independent living skills. I was shown the laundry station, kitchen station,

the area where he learns to make his bed, though at home his mattress has

not touched a sheet in years-he won't have it. He does type his name on the

keyboard, but we weren't shown any work.

I want to believe that his making progress and maybe the first improvements

are subtle, like less aggression, more sleep, more aware. I will have to

keep a close eye. I do like the fact that the school though funded by the

state, is a private school and has locked gates and door leading to the

outside. Public school is not something he will ever experience.

We shall see when he is up to 100 rounds, how well he is doing.

Zurama

On Thu, Nov 4, 2010 at 6:28 AM, Haven DeLay <hdelay@...> wrote:

>

>

> Most I have tried to talk to about it look at me like I'm crazy. I got over

> worrying or feeling bad about them thinking that, and I try anyway. Many

> say to me, " That would be too hard, " so I just move on.

>

> The school, too, just thought I was crazy and I supposed they just humored

> me. They did agree to adhere to our son's diet per his doctor sending a

> note along with giving him his supplement mash in the beginning when he had

> his breakfast at school.

>

> My son was severe after regression. He was completely non-verbal other

> than echolalia at times and a lot of verbal stimming.

>

> I pulled him from the district when he was three and a half, and by the

> next

> year, my husband and son saw the head of special ed at the grocery store

> and

> she was amazed. Ethan had some functional speech and receptive speech by

> that time, and he had no more stimming. She told my husband our son could

> go into pre-K upon return.

>

> We returned him, but the !@#$% principal put him back in self-contained.

> Our son continued to improve and gain more speech and eye contact, and one

> day when I picked him up, his teacher said, " It's a miracle! "

> Yet, they continued to insist he remain in self-contained and when I asked

> the superintendent where my son was going once he left the elementary, he

> told me after fourth grade he would be bused to a self-contained room

> twenty

> some odd miles away, where he would remain until he was twenty-one and then

> booted out the door! (I was livid). I said, " No, no , no, *that* is

> *NOT*what is going to happen! "

>

> Even if your child gets better, once they have the label, it is hard for

> them to see the child as anything other than what they first thought. Over

> time, my son's stimming came back and got worse, and last year he regressed

> so badly regarding adaptability and anxiety. Then through events that

> occurred I realized that all they done was create an IEP but not really

> implement it nor track his progress ethically nor appropriately. He was

> just " there. " A straight A-B student of ten who couldn't comprehend a thing

> he read and another year lost academically.

>

> His critical areas were math and reading, for which he was in resource, and

> this is where the bulk of progress grades were fabricated.

>

> I tired discussing it with another parent who is friends with some of the

> teachers, and evidently this teacher told this parent, " Well, he just

> couldn't do the work. He just couldn't do the work, so what was I supposed

> to do? "

>

> I told her well for starters she could have told the truth on a federally

> mandated document. Then I told her, " So let me get this straight. We have

> federal and state laws protecting children like my son, but what your

> saying

> is that it is okay just to blow off these laws? "

>

> Now after really researching through all the years (I save everything from

> school) I doubt they ever really implemented any IEP he ever had.

>

> Those of you just starting out, I suggest you save EVERYTHING from school

> and put it in notebooks in chronological order. document every phone call,

> meeting, one on one conversation, daily notes back and forth etc...

> EVERYTHING!

>

> Refuse " observation " as a means of criterion for mastery. If they insist on

> this or for cases with completely non-verbal children, make them videotape

> discrete trial testing of mastery of objectives no less than once every six

> weeks.

>

> Regarding trying to get other parents on board with biomedical, all you can

> do is try. Even though they thought I was crazy, and I noticed the rolling

> eyes when I said my son would get better --I just kept at it, and my son

> regained all forms of speech. We talk about things now. We have short

> conversations.

>

> In our home program, he is finally making real progress. He is smart, but

> schools have a way of wrecking the self confidence of these children and

> quite frankly of making them lazy:

>

> No matter how my son did on anything they would tell him he did great and

> made a " 100. " So he learned that " success " comes easy and he really didn't

> have to try very hard, but the truth was he was failing. So I am having to

> teach him that you do have to put forth effort. They also taught him that

> if you are bored, you can just tune out and get away with it. We don't

> allow that here.

>

> Also, they would give him tons of prompts, and if they practically did it

> for him, they would still give him all the credit. Any question that

> requires a prompt here or with his tutor is NOT counted as correct. He has

> to get answers right on his own for them to be counted as correct, so his

> mastery level --determined by trials an not percentages -- has to be a true

> and independent count. When he can get eight out of ten correct all by

> himself on a consistent basis, then and only then has he mastered a skill.

>

> One of the greatest dignities we can give these children is the right to

> fail, learn from one's mistakes, and realize that it takes hard work and

> effort to succeed. We left all the " pity " behind at the public school.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

yes, you must make them substantiate progress in a concrete way. See how

they feel about videotaping a discrete trial of the skill --like making a

bed.

Ours had the kitchen etc.. too. they never taught him one damn life skill.

WE potty trained him. WE taught him how to feed and dress himself.

Now I realize that public school was mainly just a waste of time.