Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 " Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over reacting to this? " , No, you're not. The folks posting about the Aspies in their lives are showing their true colors, and there fellow neurotypicals are patting them on the back and encouraging them. None of the neurotypicals can see that anything they said was wrong. We're the retards, remember. Yb their eyes, they are " us " and we are " them " and " them " is always the opposition which needs to be stamped out. You were right to stand up for yourself. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 People have obviously said some bad things about autistic people below. Have any of you folks ever overheard someone saying similar things about you when they thought you couldn't hear them? I know I told my mom something about my AS in confidence and then my sister posted a comment on a message board about it (so I know my mom told my sister without my permission). Tom This will be a long post, please see below. It is copied and pasted from the autism conference. Maybe it is just me but this has really miffed me off - maybe I am being a bit over sensitive? It has really angered me as it seems to be a case of people whinging about people with AS - I think I may have given up on responding to this thread now - as I might possible say something I regret. Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over reacting to this? Gen Reg'd: 16th Sep 05 Posts: 2 User Profile CASSANDRA (24th Oct 05 0:52:55 GMT) I would like to add to the discussion the very serious condition of CASSANDRA AFFETIVE DISORDER (CAD). This is experienced by the adult living with a partner with AS. The fact that many AS people are seen to be functioning very well outside the family and in fact can appear to be most charming and entertaining, is a problem to " Cassandra " as she (it is most often a she) then is not believed when she tries to explain the problems in their relationship to friends or therapists. The problems are many and varied and seeming insignificant if happening once or twice. It is when they are repeated over and over again, despite having tried to " talk " about what ever it is, repeatedly also, that you start wondering if you are going mad, because nothing, NOTHING, makes an impact. It can be such things as not wanting to go to children's school performances and making all sorts of excuses for not going or even making arrangements for going and then somehow not being able to get there! And then more unlikely excuses for that incidence! It is the problem they (the AS) have about perceived criticism. You can hardly make an exclamation, as simple as " what is this " and they will immediately think it is a criticism about something they have done, even though it may have nothing to do with them. Then there are all these frustrating incidences when you assume they have understood what's going on, because all information has been given, and then they go and do whatever they had in mind anyhow and seem to think that you should know why and not become angry, even though he (the AS) just walks away without saying anything. It is the way they allways steer a subject of conversation away from anything which requires insight or personal opinions (as opposed to " learned " one's, as AS seem to do) It is the way they seem to be able to only be aware of one subject, person, incident at the time. No overall view. This, and much worse, is how it goes on and on and when you don't know about AS it is sure to slowly drive you crazy when year in and year out you talk yourself blue trying to get some comprehension between you and you try to amend your ways to fit in with AS behaviour. But AS life for an NT is emotional death and you slowly die as you are deprived of a nuturing relationship. However, life for Cassandra makes a lot more sense, once we know about AS. Then, we can start to re-build our lives with more understanding about what is and what may not, be possible for our partners to achieve. Anyone living with an adult person with AS will get a lot of help and support from the site: www.faaas.org. This post is an appeal for more help and awareness of the people who live in quiet despair with AS. Thank you for organizing this conference. It is a wonderful opportunity for us all to share knowledge and experience Yours Gen Go to thread list... Subject Poster Posts Last Post CASSANDRA lyn paul 7 25-Oct-05 04:13:29 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator hello. i can agree with you because when i was with my ex, he was the loveiest person at work and a rotter at home. after we broke up his boss spoke to me one time and commented that he could not understand why we broke up because " he " was always so happy and appeared to be in a loving realationship. the boss really only saw the person at work for 7 hours in a structured environment where all the directions were being made. he did not see the angry, unstructured peson who roamed around like some sort of feral person at home. that was many years ago.quite often people could not believe that my ex was such a mean person because he was nice, courteous and helpful when he needed to be. it is the same with the children sometimes. in the classroom there is a lot of structure for them. they learn to know what is expected of them and can do it. at home, they cut loose because they quite often have used up all their good responses at school. they also are more relaxed at home and tend to be themselves. unpredictable things often happen at home too and that sets them off also. it is similiar for their siblings too. no body believes that anyone could have a brother or sister who is that mean. it is not something that most kids live with and so they can not relate to it. your message is very true. thanks lyn Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 0 Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 5 25-Oct-05 12:16:05 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Hi Lyn Let`s try this again. I can so much understand what you are saying about your ex husband. (Please read my posting) You would just love this book and I am sure we are not alone with our experience. I quote from Dr. Glover`s book: I have listened to countless wives, partners and girlfriends describe the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde qualities of NICE GUYS: " Everyone thinks he is such a great guy and I`m really lucky to have him. But they don`t know what he really be like. He`s always helping people out with their car or something else that need`s fixing. When I ask him to do something he tells me that he never make me happy, and that I`, nagging and controlling like his mother. " No one ever believed me either what I experienced with my husband at home and all the crazy things he did. Just the opposite - I was blamed for being " difficult " , " must be something wrong with her " etc. Very hurtful and a crazy making experience. In " normal relationships " it would be called: emotional and psychological abuse, financial exploitation, neglect etc. This is a too hot topic for many people (including Professionals and the Justice System)) to talk about. No one want`s to know why 80%)? of marriages between NT/AS partners are not working and a very high number of children on the spectrum are living in single parent (mainly mothers) families, and so may parents are on medication in order to cope. A different percpective son 4 25-Oct-05 23:53:14 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Hi, I think I understand what you are all saying, but do you look at it from the other persons percpective? What I mean is - yes I can just about pull the social stuff off, but it is difficult. The amount of energy and effort it takes, when I am behind closed doors yes I am different - I stim like crazy and yes I may pace around like a feral animal - it is because it has been so hard holding it together in public. I have been fortunate to have had at least one understanding partner that stood by me despite me being very jerkyl and hyde, that relationship has since ended, but we remain very good friends. Also that partner accepted me for me and all of me, not just the parts he liked. He allowed me my own space, knew of my tactile difficulties etc. As for AS/NT communication, try reading the book 'Aspergers and Long Term relationships'. I find I have very little difficulty relating to others on the spectrum, but quite often when interacting with NT's I have great difficulty, for a start they do not always say what they mean and often assume that I will just somehow get it like, I am not a mind reader - how can I tell what another is thinking. Also with relationships - difficulties are not just AS specific, you can have a bad relationship without the partner being AS, so you have to make sure that the difficulties are relating to AS and not just a bad relationship. If two people love one another enough and want to continue a relationship they can work it out, if not then maybe it is time to get out. Hope this wasn't too harsh :-) I am also a parent of a child dx with HFA and at home we I have very little difficulty and yet others find him extremely difficult. This is because at home he is in an environment that is suited to him and with a loving mother that understands him very much and does not force him to be something he is not - does not heap pressure on him to conform to the supposed norms. My child is a very good child when he is with me - not as much so when I am not present, but then others do not know him aswell as I do and often mishandle the situations. a different percpective lyn paul 0 Cassandra Gen 2 26-Oct-05 01:20:51 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator , I understand how difficult it must be for you and I am very aware what a strain it can be for AS people to interact, especially in new situations, with others. The problem though, in a NT/AS relationship is that the AS person seem to have no understanding of his (it is much more prominent in a male) partner's needs. In a normal relationship you would build up (learning by taking mental notes of how the other person responds and react to all the little foibles and niceties) an understanding between the two of you. You would develop a rapport. This doesn't seem possible for an AS person. It is strange, but AS people seem to think that everyone should understand them, whereas they seem to have very little understanding of others! Yous Gen Gen - so true Vic Roux 1 26-Oct-05 12:42:23 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Oh Gen, I hear you!!!!!!!!! Of course I am sensitive and supportive of my darling, sweet and FRUSTRATING AS man, but don't understand why I feel guilty about having and expressing my needs, because I DON'T have AS!! I subliment it all and just sometimes would love someone to say " how can I do this differently to make it easier for you " , just as I do every day for him. If another person says " What do you have to complain about - he is so sweet and gentle " Which he is, but I still want to choke them - and him at least once a day - this really hit home and brought tears to my eyes " But AS life for an NT is emotional death and you slowly die as you are deprived of a nuturing relationship. " Why do I have less value, because I don't have AS?????//// cassandra lyn paul 0 Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Gen and Vic, thanks for your words because now i know that i was not at that much fault afterall. i knew it but it is good to be seconded. my ex used to sit on the couch and tell me that " youse people don't understand " . he spoke as if we were two differant races or breeds.he believed he could squash people like a cockroach. my worry now is that i have his 15 year old son who thinks exactly the same. i seperated from him when my son was 5 weeks but the genetics are unbelieveable. it never ceases to amaze me how two people who never have had contact ,ever, can be so alike. my son knows his dad is an unfriendly person but he still continues to be the same. my son is in grade 10 and is on an individual education plan where he is in intergrated into work. this means he works for money 3 days per week and does work experience for 2 days. he is like these asperger men where he is quite comfortable at work during the day and then comes home and rebel rousses his younger brother and me all night. then gets up and goes to work as a happy little chappy the next day. just like his dad did 17 years ago. my son hated school and was always in trouble. moving into the working world is better for him. he is a yard hand at the local car wreckers and it is a very blokey kind of a place and they all like each other. what i have to teach my son is that it is not appropiate to be a wonder at work and a bully at home. i also agree that in nt realtionships it is usually the case where the 2 people learn about each other and remember things and build on that. in the relationship with the asperger person it does appear to be hard because of their non-comprehension of the other person needs. it appears they have difficulty working out their own feelings and don't appear to have the time or need to work out what other people think/need. what a strange world. i am happy to be able to discuss this because in all these years this is the first time i have3 spoken to anyone who has the problems with an asperger person. unbelieveable.. thanks lyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 > > " Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over > reacting to this? " > > , > > No, you're not. > > The folks posting about the Aspies in their lives are showing their > true colors, and there fellow neurotypicals are patting them on the > back and encouraging them. None of the neurotypicals can see that > anything they said was wrong. > > We're the retards, remember. Yb their eyes, they are " us " and we > are " them " and " them " is always the opposition which needs to be > stamped out. > > You were right to stand up for yourself. > > Tom > > > I'm glad you made a post there, . It seems to me that a bad match between anyone can cause dissention and problems and bring out the worst in each other, maybe an AS man and an NT woman is more difficult if the NT woman is very emotional, social type woman? My NT husband knew I was AS before he married me (and before I even knew I was AS)and he liked the fact that I was not an over-emotional type. (Over-emotional in the sense that I don't let my emotions overtake my logic, I am emotional and caring of course.) Often typical NT women drive me nuts, I can imagine how it would be for an AS man who LIVES with one (shudders when remembering certain roomates). I often hear of divorces that happen because the man is accused of not spending enough time with the woman--maybe due to his work keeping him late or taking him away for a few days or even a week. That seems extreme to me but I have noticed that the typical NT woman requires a lot of attention. Also, I know when I am not understood I can appear more AS, if that makes sense, and maybe that's what's happening to these men as well. These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 , One thing I've noticed just from observing is that it AS people do have a willingness and eagerness to please others and will try to change if they love the other person. But love, or even " like " doesn't always enter the equation either. Many times Aspies will just change for the asking. This sort of " gift " to others in our lives is almost second nature, and the only times we appear to resent making such gifts are when we are criticized for not giving enough. Non Aspies seem to make changes only if it's convenient or if they have a vested interest in the other person. For Non-Aspies, it appears to be a cost/risk analysis. " How much effort do I want to expend here and what do I stand to get out of it if I make the expendature? " Also: " What is the minimum amount of expendature I can make to get the maximum return? " In other words, though AS people appear to be aloof and distant, I believe they are NOT such cheapskates when it comes to giving, it's just that other people don't know or recognize the fact that we give so much. Tom Administrator These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Hmm. I'll think on that. I have noticed something to what you say as well as the care we take not to offend others. I do think it depends on each individual, whether they be NT or AS, but of course you are generalizing and generally, you may be right. Do you think, though, that it's because we're in the minority? I've had these questions regarding race relations--would black men be just as corrupt and prejudiced as white men if they were in the majority, the leaders? Problems build character, is that true of us as well? And if you took NTs out of this world and put them in another context, a better context, and teach them differently, would their issues go away or is it intrinsic in many NTs to act with a certain level of superficiality? I notice that most of us Aspergers are not materialistic and a materialistic person is often a selfish, cost/risk measuring kind of person. Materialism strikes me as a kind of spiritual sickness that keeps people from understanding what is of true value. There are non-materialistic, generous NTs that are don't assess risk vs. cost, but are they the minority? (I hate that misunderstanding of our appearing aloofness. Having to put a chirpy bird in my voice so they think I'm friendly gets tiring ) > > These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not > understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding their > husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the > ones with the disorder. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 The posts on that discussion part of the conference did miff me off a lot - as I have said before, I am no longer actively commenting on that particular thread on those discussion boards, as I feel that some of those people would not hear me - even if they say they do - I will not change their minds - their mindset to me seems very rigid and yet often people with AS are accused of having rigid thinking. They seem unable to see it from anothers perscpective, which indicates to me lack of theory of mind and empathy another thing they accuse people with AS of having - I could point this out to them of course - but I just do not have the energy to get into some sort of battle with these people. I am used to playing devils advocate - now many would say it is because I am AS that I am being awkward - not true, well I don't believe it to be - I am just aware there are always more than one side to stories. " ...maybe an AS man and an NT woman is more difficult if the NT woman is very emotional, social type woman? " Well I have actually in the past dated an extremely social aspie man and he was very emotional as well - reminded me very much of an NT woman :-) - so much the relationship did become a strain on me. I even hosted parties because he wanted me to, something I found extremely stressfull - I hate attending parties let alone hosting them - but I was trying to make the effort - as you do in relationships. I obviously did try to make the relationship work, but in the end it was just too much for me and I got out. In any relationship people have needs - both people though - I often hear, mostly women (but some men too) complaining about not having their needs met - do they ever stop to think the other person has needs too? and do they think about what they are bringing into the relationship? instead of what they are not getting? do they ever ask themselves if their needs are reasonable? I believe relationships can be worked out and that needs can be met if both parties are willing and the needs are reasonable, but when one partner begins to demand of another what they cannot provide then there is then a problem; either that need will have to be met elsewhere, compromised on, not met or the person needs to seriously consider whether they are in the correct relationship or not. For me if someone needed me to be social a lot then they would be out of luck. If they needed me not to have my alone time and not stim or pace then they might aswell be asking a brick to stop being a brick - it's unlikely to happen and I feel that some of the posts I read from the autism conference forum were expecting partners to stop doing something that they couldn't really help - or be something that they could not be - however I do not know the full story and only have one side to go on. Think I've vented well and truly now - I hope :-) > > > > " Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over > > reacting to this? " > > > > , > > > > No, you're not. > > > > The folks posting about the Aspies in their lives are showing their > > true colors, and there fellow neurotypicals are patting them on the > > back and encouraging them. None of the neurotypicals can see that > > anything they said was wrong. > > > > We're the retards, remember. Yb their eyes, they are " us " and we > > are " them " and " them " is always the opposition which needs to be > > stamped out. > > > > You were right to stand up for yourself. > > > > Tom > > > > > > > > I'm glad you made a post there, . It seems to me that a bad > match between anyone can cause dissention and problems and bring out > the worst in each other, maybe an AS man and an NT woman is more > difficult if the NT woman is very emotional, social type woman? My > NT husband knew I was AS before he married me (and before I even knew > I was AS)and he liked the fact that I was not an over-emotional > type. (Over-emotional in the sense that I don't let my emotions > overtake my logic, I am emotional and caring of course.) Often > typical NT women drive me nuts, I can imagine how it would be for an > AS man who LIVES with one (shudders when remembering certain > roomates). I often hear of divorces that happen because the man is > accused of not spending enough time with the woman--maybe due to his > work keeping him late or taking him away for a few days or even a > week. That seems extreme to me but I have noticed that the typical NT > woman requires a lot of attention. Also, I know when I am not > understood I can appear more AS, if that makes sense, and maybe > that's what's happening to these men as well. These NT women are > complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, > but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But sadly, > it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 Vent on, girl, if you need to. It's all about respect and understanding, isn't it. Two beautiful, seemingly simple (yet so hard to find) words.. > > > > > > " Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over > > > reacting to this? " > > > > > > , > > > > > > No, you're not. > > > > > > The folks posting about the Aspies in their lives are showing > their > > > true colors, and there fellow neurotypicals are patting them on > the > > > back and encouraging them. None of the neurotypicals can see that > > > anything they said was wrong. > > > > > > We're the retards, remember. Yb their eyes, they are " us " and we > > > are " them " and " them " is always the opposition which needs to be > > > stamped out. > > > > > > You were right to stand up for yourself. > > > > > > Tom > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm glad you made a post there, . It seems to me that a bad > > match between anyone can cause dissention and problems and bring > out > > the worst in each other, maybe an AS man and an NT woman is more > > difficult if the NT woman is very emotional, social type woman? My > > NT husband knew I was AS before he married me (and before I even > knew > > I was AS)and he liked the fact that I was not an over-emotional > > type. (Over-emotional in the sense that I don't let my emotions > > overtake my logic, I am emotional and caring of course.) Often > > typical NT women drive me nuts, I can imagine how it would be for > an > > AS man who LIVES with one (shudders when remembering certain > > roomates). I often hear of divorces that happen because the man is > > accused of not spending enough time with the woman--maybe due to > his > > work keeping him late or taking him away for a few days or even a > > week. That seems extreme to me but I have noticed that the typical > NT > > woman requires a lot of attention. Also, I know when I am not > > understood I can appear more AS, if that makes sense, and maybe > > that's what's happening to these men as well. These NT women are > > complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, > > but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But > sadly, > > it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2005 Report Share Posted October 27, 2005 " And if you took NTs out of this world and put them in another context, a better context, and teach them differently, would their issues go away or is it intrinsic in many NTs to act with a certain level of superficiality? " Well generally speaking NT's appear to operate on a social level or status postition, therefore need to be seen to have correct house, car, partner etc - they like their labels and stereotypes knowing where each fits into the hierachy of things, eg; the clever one, the intelligent one, the rich one, the pretty one, the artistic one, and on and on, why not just the human? Human with human potential for either good or bad, human with feelings etc. I wonder whether the majority of humans need this pecking order - is it intrinsic? Is it just an NT thing or a human thing? > > > > These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not > > understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding > their > > husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE > the > > ones with the disorder. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 Problem number one: the name of said disorder (which is a new one to me, and I have a psych degree) and name of the person concerned are same. Huh? From original sentence, it sounds as though sociopath being described. One appearance to outside world, but facade. Of course, main trait is sociopaths do not feel, anything. Rent Old Yeller? What happens to dog makes no impact. Wonder if real problem is that Cassandra cannot communicate effectively. greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: This will be a long post, please see below. It is copied and pasted from the autism conference.Maybe it is just me but this has really miffed me off - maybe I am being a bit over sensitive? It has really angered me as it seems to be a case of people whinging about people with AS - I think I may have given up on responding to this thread now - as I might possible say something I regret.Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over reacting to this?Gen Reg'd: 16th Sep 05Posts: 2User Profile CASSANDRA (24th Oct 05 0:52:55 GMT) I would like to add to the discussion the very serious condition of CASSANDRA AFFETIVE DISORDER (CAD). This is experienced by the adult living with a partner with AS. The fact that many AS people are seen to be functioning very well outside the family and in fact can appear to be most charming and entertaining, is a problem to "Cassandra" as she (it is most often a she) then is not believed when she tries to explain the problems in their relationship to friends or therapists. The problems are many and varied and seeming insignificant if happening once or twice. It is when they are repeated over and over again, despite having tried to "talk" about what ever it is, repeatedly also, that you start wondering if you are going mad, because nothing, NOTHING, makes an impact.It can be such things as not wanting to go to children's school performances and making all sorts of excuses for not going or even making arrangements for going and then somehow not being able to get there! And then more unlikely excuses for that incidence!It is the problem they (the AS) have about perceived criticism. You can hardly make an exclamation, as simple as "what is this" and they will immediately think it is a criticism about something they have done, even though it may have nothing to do with them.Then there are all these frustrating incidences when you assume they have understood what's going on, because all information has been given, and then they go and do whatever they had in mind anyhow and seem to think that you should know why and not become angry, even though he (the AS) just walks away without saying anything.It is the way they allways steer a subject of conversation away from anything which requires insight or personal opinions (as opposed to "learned" one's, as AS seem to do)It is the way they seem to be able to only be aware of one subject, person, incident at the time. No overall view. This, and much worse, is how it goes on and on and when you don't know about AS it is sure to slowly drive you crazy when year in and year out you talk yourself blue trying to get some comprehension between you and you try to amend your ways to fit in with AS behaviour. But AS life for an NT is emotional death and you slowly die as you are deprived of a nuturing relationship.However, life for Cassandra makes a lot more sense, once we know about AS. Then, we can start to re-build our lives with more understanding about what is and what may not, be possible for our partners to achieve.Anyone living with an adult person with AS will get a lot of help and support from the site: www.faaas.org.This post is an appeal for more help and awareness of the people who live in quiet despair with AS. Thank you for organizing this conference. It is a wonderful opportunity for us all to share knowledge and experienceYours Gen Go to thread list... Subject Poster Posts Last Post CASSANDRA lyn paul 7 25-Oct-05 04:13:29 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator hello. i can agree with you because when i was with my ex, he was the loveiest person at work and a rotter at home. after we broke up his boss spoke to me one time and commented that he could not understand why we broke up because "he" was always so happy and appeared to be in a loving realationship. the boss really only saw the person at work for 7 hours in a structured environment where all the directions were being made. he did not see the angry, unstructured peson who roamed around like some sort of feral person at home. that was many years ago.quite often people could not believe that my ex was such a mean person because he was nice, courteous and helpful when he needed to be. it is the same with the children sometimes. in the classroom there is a lot of structure for them. they learn to know what is expected of them and can do it. at home, they cut loose because they quite often have used up all their good responses at school. they also are more relaxed at home and tend to be themselves. unpredictable things often happen at home too and that sets them off also.it is similiar for their siblings too. no body believes that anyone could have a brother or sister who is that mean. it is not something that most kids live with and so they can not relate to it.your message is very true. thanks lyn Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 0 Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 5 25-Oct-05 12:16:05 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Hi LynLet`s try this again.I can so much understand what you are saying about your ex husband. (Please read my posting)You would just love this book and I am sure we are not alone with our experience. I quote from Dr. Glover`s book: I have listened to countless wives, partners and girlfriends describe the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde qualities of NICE GUYS: " Everyone thinks he is such a great guy and I`m really lucky to have him. But they don`t know what he really be like. He`s always helping people out with their car or something else that need`s fixing. When I ask him to do something he tells me that he never make me happy, and that I`, nagging and controlling like his mother."No one ever believed me either what I experienced with my husband at home and all the crazy things he did. Just the opposite - I was blamed for being "difficult", "must be something wrong with her" etc. Very hurtful and a crazy making experience. In "normal relationships" it would be called: emotional and psychological abuse, financial exploitation, neglect etc.This is a too hot topic for many people (including Professionals and the Justice System)) to talk about. No one want`s to know why 80%)? of marriages between NT/AS partners are not working and a very high number of children on the spectrum are living in single parent (mainly mothers) families, and so may parents are on medication in order to cope. A different percpective son 4 25-Oct-05 23:53:14 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Hi,I think I understand what you are all saying, but do you look at it from the other persons percpective? What I mean is - yes I can just about pull the social stuff off, but it is difficult. The amount of energy and effort it takes, when I am behind closed doors yes I am different - I stim like crazy and yes I may pace around like a feral animal - it is because it has been so hard holding it together in public.I have been fortunate to have had at least one understanding partner that stood by me despite me being very jerkyl and hyde, that relationship has since ended, but we remain very good friends. Also that partner accepted me for me and all of me, not just the parts he liked. He allowed me my own space, knew of my tactile difficulties etc.As for AS/NT communication, try reading the book 'Aspergers and Long Term relationships'. I find I have very little difficulty relating to others on the spectrum, but quite often when interacting with NT's I have great difficulty, for a start they do not always say what they mean and often assume that I will just somehow get it like, I am not a mind reader - how can I tell what another is thinking.Also with relationships - difficulties are not just AS specific, you can have a bad relationship without the partner being AS, so you have to make sure that the difficulties are relating to AS and not just a bad relationship. If two people love one another enough and want to continue a relationship they can work it out, if not then maybe it is time to get out.Hope this wasn't too harsh :-)I am also a parent of a child dx with HFA and at home we I have very little difficulty and yet others find him extremely difficult. This is because at home he is in an environment that is suited to him and with a loving mother that understands him very much and does not force him to be something he is not - does not heap pressure on him to conform to the supposed norms. My child is a very good child when he is with me - not as much so when I am not present, but then others do not know him aswell as I do and often mishandle the situations. a different percpective lyn paul 0 Cassandra Gen 2 26-Oct-05 01:20:51 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator , I understand how difficult it must be for you and I am very aware what a strain it can be for AS people to interact, especially in new situations, with others. The problem though, in a NT/AS relationship is that the AS person seem to have no understanding of his (it is much more prominent in a male) partner's needs. In a normal relationship you would build up (learning by taking mental notes of how the other person responds and react to all the little foibles and niceties) an understanding between the two of you. You would develop a rapport. This doesn't seem possible for an AS person. It is strange, but AS people seem to think that everyone should understand them, whereas they seem to have very little understanding of others!Yous Gen Gen - so true Vic Roux 1 26-Oct-05 12:42:23 GMT Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Oh Gen, I hear you!!!!!!!!! Of course I am sensitive and supportive of my darling, sweet and FRUSTRATING AS man, but don't understand why I feel guilty about having and expressing my needs, because I DON'T have AS!! I subliment it all and just sometimes would love someone to say " how can I do this differently to make it easier for you", just as I do every day for him. If another person says " What do you have to complain about - he is so sweet and gentle" Which he is, but I still want to choke them - and him at least once a day - this really hit home and brought tears to my eyes "But AS life for an NT is emotional death and you slowly die as you are deprived of a nuturing relationship." Why do I have less value, because I don't have AS?????//// cassandra lyn paul 0 Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator Gen and Vic, thanks for your words because now i know that i was not at that much fault afterall. i knew it but it is good to be seconded. my ex used to sit on the couch and tell me that "youse people don't understand". he spoke as if we were two differant races or breeds.he believed he could squash people like a cockroach. my worry now is that i have his 15 year old son who thinks exactly the same. i seperated from him when my son was 5 weeks but the genetics are unbelieveable. it never ceases to amaze me how two people who never have had contact ,ever, can be so alike. my son knows his dad is an unfriendly person but he still continues to be the same. my son is in grade 10 and is on an individual education plan where he is in intergrated into work. this means he works for money 3 days per week and does work experience for 2 days. he is like these asperger men where he is quite comfortable at work during the day and then comes home and rebel rousses his younger brother and me all night. then gets up and goes to work as a happy little chappy the next day. just like his dad did 17 years ago. my son hated school and was always in trouble. moving into the working world is better for him. he is a yard hand at the local car wreckers and it is a very blokey kind of a place and they all like each other. what i have to teach my son is that it is not appropiate to be a wonder at work and a bully at home. i also agree that in nt realtionships it is usually the case where the 2 people learn about each other and remember things and build on that. in the relationship with the asperger person it does appear to be hard because of their non-comprehension of the other person needs. it appears they have difficulty working out their own feelings and don't appear to have the time or need to work out what other people think/need. what a strange world. i am happy to be able to discuss this because in all these years this is the first time i have3 spoken to anyone who has the problems with an asperger person. unbelieveable.. thanks lyn FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked "Other FAM Sites." If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@... FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 > > These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not > understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding > their husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because > WE'RE the ones with the disorder. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 > > > > > > These NT women are complaining about their AS husbands not > > > understanding their needs, but they are also not understanding > > their > > > husband's needs. But sadly, it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE > > the > > > ones with the disorder. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 > > > > > > " Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over > > > reacting to this? " > > > > > > , > > > > > > No, you're not. > > > > > > The folks posting about the Aspies in their lives are showing > their > > > true colors, and there fellow neurotypicals are patting them on > the > > > back and encouraging them. None of the neurotypicals can see that > > > anything they said was wrong. > > > > > > We're the retards, remember. Yb their eyes, they are " us " and we > > > are " them " and " them " is always the opposition which needs to be > > > stamped out. > > > > > > You were right to stand up for yourself. > > > > > > Tom > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm glad you made a post there, . It seems to me that a bad > > match between anyone can cause dissention and problems and bring > out > > the worst in each other, maybe an AS man and an NT woman is more > > difficult if the NT woman is very emotional, social type woman? My > > NT husband knew I was AS before he married me (and before I even > knew > > I was AS)and he liked the fact that I was not an over-emotional > > type. (Over-emotional in the sense that I don't let my emotions > > overtake my logic, I am emotional and caring of course.) Often > > typical NT women drive me nuts, I can imagine how it would be for > an > > AS man who LIVES with one (shudders when remembering certain > > roomates). I often hear of divorces that happen because the man is > > accused of not spending enough time with the woman--maybe due to > his > > work keeping him late or taking him away for a few days or even a > > week. That seems extreme to me but I have noticed that the typical > NT > > woman requires a lot of attention. Also, I know when I am not > > understood I can appear more AS, if that makes sense, and maybe > > that's what's happening to these men as well. These NT women are > > complaining about their AS husbands not understanding their needs, > > but they are also not understanding their husband's needs. But > sadly, > > it doesn't go both ways because WE'RE the ones with the disorder. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2005 Report Share Posted October 28, 2005 I've discovered, much to my dismay, that there are a lot more sociopaths most people know--they're very good at being charming and pretending to be nice. It's scary. > This will be a long post, please see below. It is copied and pasted > from the autism conference. > > Maybe it is just me but this has really miffed me off - maybe I am > being a bit over sensitive? It has really angered me as it seems to > be a case of people whinging about people with AS - I think I may > have given up on responding to this thread now - as I might possible > say something I regret. > > Just thought I'd post it here - because I am wondering am I over > reacting to this? > > > > > Gen > Reg'd: 16th Sep 05 > Posts: 2 > > User Profile > CASSANDRA (24th Oct 05 0:52:55 GMT) > I would like to add to the discussion the very serious condition of > CASSANDRA AFFETIVE DISORDER (CAD). This is experienced by the adult > living with a partner with AS. The fact that many AS people are seen > to be functioning very well outside the family and in fact can appear > to be most charming and entertaining, is a problem to " Cassandra " as > she (it is most often a she) then is not believed when she tries to > explain the problems in their relationship to friends or therapists. > The problems are many and varied and seeming insignificant if > happening once or twice. It is when they are repeated over and over > again, despite having tried to " talk " about what ever it is, > repeatedly also, that you start wondering if you are going mad, > because nothing, NOTHING, makes an impact. > It can be such things as not wanting to go to children's school > performances and making all sorts of excuses for not going or even > making arrangements for going and then somehow not being able to get > there! And then more unlikely excuses for that incidence! > It is the problem they (the AS) have about perceived criticism. You > can hardly make an exclamation, as simple as " what is this " and they > will immediately think it is a criticism about something they have > done, even though it may have nothing to do with them. > Then there are all these frustrating incidences when you assume they > have understood what's going on, because all information has been > given, and then they go and do whatever they had in mind anyhow and > seem to think that you should know why and not become angry, even > though he (the AS) just walks away without saying anything. > It is the way they allways steer a subject of conversation away from > anything which requires insight or personal opinions (as opposed > to " learned " one's, as AS seem to do) > It is the way they seem to be able to only be aware of one subject, > person, incident at the time. No overall view. > This, and much worse, is how it goes on and on and when you don't > know about AS it is sure to slowly drive you crazy when year in and > year out you talk yourself blue trying to get some comprehension > between you and you try to amend your ways to fit in with AS > behaviour. But AS life for an NT is emotional death and you slowly > die as you are deprived of a nuturing relationship. > However, life for Cassandra makes a lot more sense, once we know > about AS. Then, we can start to re-build our lives with more > understanding about what is and what may not, be possible for our > partners to achieve. > Anyone living with an adult person with AS will get a lot of help and > support from the site: www.faaas.org. > This post is an appeal for more help and awareness of the people who > live in quiet despair with AS. > Thank you for organizing this conference. It is a wonderful > opportunity for us all to share knowledge and experience > Yours Gen > > Go to thread list... > > > > Subject Poster Posts Last Post > > > CASSANDRA > lyn paul 7 25-Oct-05 04:13:29 GMT > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > hello. i can agree with you because when i was with my ex, he was > the loveiest person at work and a rotter at home. after we broke up > his boss spoke to me one time and commented that he could not > understand why we broke up because " he " was always so happy and > appeared to be in a loving realationship. the boss really only saw > the person at work for 7 hours in a structured environment where all > the directions were being made. he did not see the angry, > unstructured peson who roamed around like some sort of feral person > at home. that was many years ago.quite often people could not believe > that my ex was such a mean person because he was nice, courteous and > helpful when he needed to be. > it is the same with the children sometimes. in the classroom there is > a lot of structure for them. they learn to know what is expected of > them and can do it. at home, they cut loose because they quite often > have used up all their good responses at school. they also are more > relaxed at home and tend to be themselves. unpredictable things often > happen at home too and that sets them off also. > it is similiar for their siblings too. no body believes that anyone > could have a brother or sister who is that mean. it is not something > that most kids live with and so they can not relate to it. > your message is very true. > thanks lyn > > > Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) > Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 0 > > Mr. Nice Guy (cassandra) > Gerda Fitz-Saltmarsh 5 25-Oct-05 12:16:05 GMT > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > Hi Lyn > Let`s try this again. > I can so much understand what you are saying about your ex husband. > (Please read my posting) > You would just love this book and I am sure we are not alone with our > experience. I quote from Dr. Glover`s book: I have listened to > countless wives, partners and girlfriends describe the Dr. Jekyll and > Mr. Hyde qualities of NICE GUYS: " Everyone thinks he is such a great > guy and I`m really lucky to have him. But they don`t know what he > really be like. He`s always helping people out with their car or > something else that need`s fixing. When I ask him to do something he > tells me that he never make me happy, and that I`, nagging and > controlling like his mother. " > No one ever believed me either what I experienced with my husband at > home and all the crazy things he did. Just the opposite - I was > blamed for being " difficult " , " must be something wrong with her " etc. > Very hurtful and a crazy making experience. In " normal relationships " > it would be called: emotional and psychological abuse, financial > exploitation, neglect etc. > This is a too hot topic for many people (including Professionals and > the Justice System)) to talk about. > No one want`s to know why 80%)? of marriages between NT/AS partners > are not working and a very high number of children on the spectrum > are living in single parent (mainly mothers) families, and so may > parents are on medication in order to cope. > > > > > > A different percpective > son 4 25-Oct-05 23:53:14 GMT > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > Hi, > > I think I understand what you are all saying, but do you look at it > from the other persons percpective? What I mean is - yes I can just > about pull the social stuff off, but it is difficult. The amount of > energy and effort it takes, when I am behind closed doors yes I am > different - I stim like crazy and yes I may pace around like a feral > animal - it is because it has been so hard holding it together in > public. > > I have been fortunate to have had at least one understanding partner > that stood by me despite me being very jerkyl and hyde, that > relationship has since ended, but we remain very good friends. Also > that partner accepted me for me and all of me, not just the parts he > liked. He allowed me my own space, knew of my tactile difficulties > etc. > > As for AS/NT communication, try reading the book 'Aspergers and Long > Term relationships'. I find I have very little difficulty relating to > others on the spectrum, but quite often when interacting with NT's I > have great difficulty, for a start they do not always say what they > mean and often assume that I will just somehow get it like, I am not > a mind reader - how can I tell what another is thinking. > > Also with relationships - difficulties are not just AS specific, you > can have a bad relationship without the partner being AS, so you have > to make sure that the difficulties are relating to AS and not just a > bad relationship. If two people love one another enough and want to > continue a relationship they can work it out, if not then maybe it is > time to get out. > > Hope this wasn't too harsh :-) > > > > I am also a parent of a child dx with HFA and at home we I have very > little difficulty and yet others find him extremely difficult. This > is because at home he is in an environment that is suited to him and > with a loving mother that understands him very much and does not > force him to be something he is not - does not heap pressure on him > to conform to the supposed norms. My child is a very good child when > he is with me - not as much so when I am not present, but then others > do not know him aswell as I do and often mishandle the situations. > > > > > a different percpective > lyn paul 0 > > Cassandra > Gen 2 26-Oct-05 01:20:51 GMT > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > , I understand how difficult it must be for you and I am very > aware what a strain it can be for AS people to interact, especially > in new situations, with others. The problem though, in a NT/AS > relationship is that the AS person seem to have no understanding of > his (it is much more prominent in a male) partner's needs. In a > normal relationship you would build up (learning by taking mental > notes of how the other person responds and react to all the little > foibles and niceties) an understanding between the two of you. You > would develop a rapport. This doesn't seem possible for an AS person. > It is strange, but AS people seem to think that everyone should > understand them, whereas they seem to have very little understanding > of others! > Yous Gen > > > Gen - so true > Vic Roux 1 26-Oct-05 12:42:23 GMT > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > Oh Gen, I hear you!!!!!!!!! Of course I am sensitive and supportive > of my darling, sweet and FRUSTRATING AS man, but don't understand why > I feel guilty about having and expressing my needs, because I DON'T > have AS!! I subliment it all and just sometimes would love someone to > say " how can I do this differently to make it easier for you " , just > as I do every day for him. If another person says " What do you have > to complain about - he is so sweet and gentle " Which he is, but I > still want to choke them - and him at least once a day - this > really hit home and brought tears to my eyes " But AS life for an NT > is emotional death and you slowly die as you are deprived of a > nuturing relationship. " Why do I have less value, because I don't > have AS?????//// > > > > cassandra > lyn paul 0 > > Reply Print User Profile Contact Moderator > > > Gen and Vic, thanks for your words because now i know that i was > not at that much fault afterall. i knew it but it is good to be > seconded. my ex used to sit on the couch and tell me that " youse > people don't understand " . he spoke as if we were two differant races > or breeds.he believed he could squash people like a cockroach. my > worry now is that i have his 15 year old son who thinks exactly the > same. i seperated from him when my son was 5 weeks but the genetics > are unbelieveable. it never ceases to amaze me how two people who > never have had contact ,ever, can be so alike. my son knows his dad > is an unfriendly person but he still continues to be the same. my son > is in grade 10 and is on an individual education plan where he is in > intergrated into work. this means he works for money 3 days per week > and does work experience for 2 days. he is like these asperger men > where he is quite comfortable at work during the day and then comes > home and rebel rousses his younger brother and me all night. then > gets up and goes to work as a happy little chappy the next day. just > like his dad did 17 years ago. my son hated school and was always in > trouble. moving into the working world is better for him. he is a > yard hand at the local car wreckers and it is a very blokey kind of a > place and they all like each other. what i have to teach my son is > that it is not appropiate to be a wonder at work and a bully at home. > i also agree that in nt realtionships it is usually the case where > the 2 people learn about each other and remember things and build on > that. in the relationship with the asperger person it does appear to > be hard because of their non-comprehension of the other person needs. > it appears they have difficulty working out their own feelings and > don't appear to have the time or need to work out what other people > think/need. what a strange world. i am happy to be able to discuss > this because in all these years this is the first time i have3 spoken > to anyone who has the problems with an asperger person. > unbelieveable.. thanks lyn > > > > > > > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. " > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 They have live video conferencing for Autism One. http://www.zenworksproductions.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Waynerohde- They are doing the Autism One Conference online this weekend. Check it out http://www.autismone.org Also, the Long Island Autism Conference (which I organize) is Oct. 20-21st and is only $50 per day if you register online before Oct. 1st. Maybe if you live near NYC you can come. It’s one of the most reasonable conferences you can find (34 speakers, 70 exhibitors). http://www.autismfair.com Wanted to also comment that BEING at a conference is a life changing experience. To be in a room with 600 people who understand your life--- is priceless. There are many big and small conference all around the country. Hopefully you can attend one, at least once in a while. None of us get to go as often as we like. On 5/23/07 6:27 PM, " waynerohde " <waynerohde@...> wrote: Just wanting to throw out an idea that makes a lot of sense in my neck of the woods regarding attendance at Autism conferences. It would reach a lot more people and make a larger difference in the lives of so many people to provide greater access to these conferences by broadcasting them via the internet to many satellite cities at the same time. This would allow many people to attend virtually, without the great cost of transportation, hotel, and meals. I do not know about others, but for me to crank out $ 2,500.00 to $ 3,300.00 per monthly out of pocket for my son's treatments, I just can not come up with the expenses to attend a Great Conference. I also understand that some of the conferences offer the presentations on CD for a fee or download the white paper. This is not attending the conference. Also, most parents do not have the time to leave their families for 2 or 3 days. I would bet that you could get a lot of people in Cincinnati, Oklahoma City, San , Nashville, Minneapolis, Cheyenne, Birmingham, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Sacramento, Tuscon, and Buffalo and surronding areas to attend via a teleconference. There are many trade associations and other organizations that utilizes this technology. For a minimal entry fee, the expenses could be covered and a lot more people will be able to attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 As pointed out, Autism One is webcasting their conference. Which is awesome! Also, there's another video resource that you can try that has many of the same speakers in one-on-one interviews, where they talk about their work: http://www.autismmedia.org/ Best of all, it's FREE. :-) Nanstiel FAIR Autism Media a 501c3 organization > > Just wanting to throw out an idea that makes a lot of sense in my > neck of the woods regarding attendance at Autism conferences. > > It would reach a lot more people and make a larger difference in the > lives of so many people to provide greater access to these > conferences by broadcasting them via the internet to many satellite > cities at the same time. > > This would allow many people to attend virtually, without the great > cost of transportation, hotel, and meals. > > I do not know about others, but for me to crank out $ 2,500.00 to $ > 3,300.00 per monthly out of pocket for my son's treatments, I just > can not come up with the expenses to attend a Great Conference. I > also understand that some of the conferences offer the presentations > on CD for a fee or download the white paper. This is not attending > the conference. Also, most parents do not have the time to leave > their families for 2 or 3 days. > > I would bet that you could get a lot of people in Cincinnati, > Oklahoma City, San , Nashville, Minneapolis, Cheyenne, > Birmingham, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Sacramento, Tuscon, and > Buffalo and surronding areas to attend via a teleconference. > > There are many trade associations and other organizations that > utilizes this technology. For a minimal entry fee, the expenses > could be covered and a lot more people will be able to attend. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 The DAN! Conferences are available online for free at www.danwebcast.com I also agree that it is not the same thing as being there. I further agree that they are expensive by the time you pay for travel, transportation, food, lodging on top of the cost of the conference. We have been to a couple of DAN! Confernces but we can no longer afford it. Pamela " Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. " Eddie Rickenbacker, top US fighter ace, WWI From: EOHarm [mailto:EOHarm ] On Behalf Of waynerohde Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2007 6:28 PM EOHarm Subject: Autism Conference Just wanting to throw out an idea that makes a lot of sense in my neck of the woods regarding attendance at Autism conferences. It would reach a lot more people and make a larger difference in the lives of so many people to provide greater access to these conferences by broadcasting them via the internet to many satellite cities at the same time. This would allow many people to attend virtually, without the great cost of transportation, hotel, and meals. I do not know about others, but for me to crank out $ 2,500.00 to $ 3,300.00 per monthly out of pocket for my son's treatments, I just can not come up with the expenses to attend a Great Conference. I also understand that some of the conferences offer the presentations on CD for a fee or download the white paper. This is not attending the conference. Also, most parents do not have the time to leave their families for 2 or 3 days. I would bet that you could get a lot of people in Cincinnati, Oklahoma City, San , Nashville, Minneapolis, Cheyenne, Birmingham, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Sacramento, Tuscon, and Buffalo and surronding areas to attend via a teleconference. There are many trade associations and other organizations that utilizes this technology. For a minimal entry fee, the expenses could be covered and a lot more people will be able to attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 DAN! also has webcasts: http://www.danwebcast.com/ > > > > Just wanting to throw out an idea that makes a lot of sense in my > > neck of the woods regarding attendance at Autism conferences. > > > > It would reach a lot more people and make a larger difference in the > > lives of so many people to provide greater access to these > > conferences by broadcasting them via the internet to many satellite > > cities at the same time. > > > > This would allow many people to attend virtually, without the great > > cost of transportation, hotel, and meals. > > > > I do not know about others, but for me to crank out $ 2,500.00 to $ > > 3,300.00 per monthly out of pocket for my son's treatments, I just > > can not come up with the expenses to attend a Great Conference. I > > also understand that some of the conferences offer the presentations > > on CD for a fee or download the white paper. This is not attending > > the conference. Also, most parents do not have the time to leave > > their families for 2 or 3 days. > > > > I would bet that you could get a lot of people in Cincinnati, > > Oklahoma City, San , Nashville, Minneapolis, Cheyenne, > > Birmingham, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Sacramento, Tuscon, and > > Buffalo and surronding areas to attend via a teleconference. > > > > There are many trade associations and other organizations that > > utilizes this technology. For a minimal entry fee, the expenses > > could be covered and a lot more people will be able to attend. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 I personally think that is a major positive step. It is not necessary for everyone to burn a ton of fossil suels to get around the continent of America just to find info that could be disseminated far more effectively using books, web , radio etc. There should be local Dan / biomed Hubs around the country for people to meet up and exchange ideas if needed. There has got to be a far more responsible use of energy in this society if any of us has a chance at the future!! Ange Re: Autism Conference As pointed out, Autism One is webcasting their conference. Which is awesome!Also, there's another video resource that you can try that has many of the same speakers in one-on-one interviews, where they talk about their work:http://www.autismmedia.org/Best of all, it's FREE. :-) NanstielFAIR Autism Mediaa 501c3 organization>> Just wanting to throw out an idea that makes a lot of sense in my > neck of the woods regarding attendance at Autism conferences.> > It would reach a lot more people and make a larger difference in the > lives of so many people to provide greater access to these > conferences by broadcasting them via the internet to many satellite > cities at the same time. > > This would allow many people to attend virtually, without the great > cost of transportation, hotel, and meals.> > I do not know about others, but for me to crank out $ 2,500.00 to $ > 3,300.00 per monthly out of pocket for my son's treatments, I just > can not come up with the expenses to attend a Great Conference. I > also understand that some of the conferences offer the presentations > on CD for a fee or download the white paper. This is not attending > the conference. Also, most parents do not have the time to leave > their families for 2 or 3 days.> > I would bet that you could get a lot of people in Cincinnati, > Oklahoma City, San , Nashville, Minneapolis, Cheyenne, > Birmingham, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Sacramento, Tuscon, and > Buffalo and surronding areas to attend via a teleconference.> > There are many trade associations and other organizations that > utilizes this technology. For a minimal entry fee, the expenses > could be covered and a lot more people will be able to attend.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Are you in Penn? Lois Autism Conference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 Are you in Penn? Lois Autism Conference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 good for you Gwen...I need to do the same! e From: Gwen Hebert <gwenhebert@...>autism Sent: Thu, November 5, 2009 9:21:08 PMSubject: Autism Conference I am in Lafayette for the weekend having a weekend to myself. First time since Caleb's been born. It's so quiet. LolSent from my iPhoneGwen Hebert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 No LouisianaSent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Nov 6, 2009, at 9:05 PM, " lois noland" <jlois@...> wrote: Are you in Penn? Lois Autism Conference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 No LouisianaSent from my iPhoneGwen HebertOn Nov 6, 2009, at 9:05 PM, " lois noland" <jlois@...> wrote: Are you in Penn? Lois Autism Conference Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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