Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Tammy and Patty, Keep in mind that even though I am a moderator on this list, I am only a parent and I share from my own experiences only. Often when my 8 1/2 yr. old OCD/AD/HD son is symptomatic..be it AD/HD, OCD related or the anxiety that comes from the complications of these disorders, he will usually behave in the ways you both have described. When he is in the heightened state of alert that his disabilities cause, his perceptions of the world around him can become skewed and this in turn increases his anxiety level to the point of his becoming hyperactive and at times threatening and if pushed too far, violent. Factor in his age and the increase in rebelliousness that that brings and sometimes we don't have such a good scenario here, or at school. School is where most of the problems arise for Tommy as that is where he experiences the most anxiety. When we have behavior that does not respond to consequences, then that is the time to LOUDLY contact his doctors. It is my belief that no parent should suffer harm because of a child's disability if symtoms can be controlled by therapy and/or medication. Sometimes, just backing away from my son will give him the space to work through his difficulties and allow time for him to shift the " gears " in his brain, but most often it takes a little bit of trial and error on my part before I can determine without a doubt that he is having symptoms, or just being a kid. Sincerely, in Southeastern PA Tmmy1212@... wrote: In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Factor in his age and the increase in rebelliousness that that brings and sometimes we don't have such a good scenario here ********** I try and keep this in mind for all 3 of mine - now ages 13 and almost 17. And hope that most times it's just a bad mood they're in. Though I DO try to let them know there's limits to that mood/behavior. Heck, I WARN them when I'm not in the best mood! Tho the twins (13) are still immature for their age (in my opinion and comparing to myself at that age and also their peers), I have seen an increase in my OCD-son's temperament, starting about the time right before OCD came blasting in around age 11.5. His temper had been " up " the previous 2-3 months. And HE was my no-temper, sweet, " good " child!! And when he presently will be sharp and/or tempermental towards me now, I really can tell that it's mostly at times when his OCD is stressing him worse; or when " I " am pushing him about his OCD problems; or when his brother(s) is picking on him in some way. And I notice 's OCD is bothering him lots of times when we're out for a long time, like at a store. He'll start wanting to know when we're leaving, I can see him sort of " stiffening, " he'll ask to push the cart, etc., and I'll watch his face and can " see " his OCD bothering him. And also at HOMEWORK time. And even at home when he's doing nothing! He'll ask to play a video game because he wants to watch, as he doesn't want to have to play himself. Okay, off topic here. Just wanted to say that even with definitely ONE typical son, one son with OCD, and another who has separation anxiety and lots of times hyperactivity and is a " pest " , plus remembering my own moodiness as a teenager - it's hard at times to distinguish from " typical " to " disorder " caused behavior; unless it's just the disorder increasing the amount of " emotion " put into the behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Factor in his age and the increase in rebelliousness that that brings and sometimes we don't have such a good scenario here ********** I try and keep this in mind for all 3 of mine - now ages 13 and almost 17. And hope that most times it's just a bad mood they're in. Though I DO try to let them know there's limits to that mood/behavior. Heck, I WARN them when I'm not in the best mood! Tho the twins (13) are still immature for their age (in my opinion and comparing to myself at that age and also their peers), I have seen an increase in my OCD-son's temperament, starting about the time right before OCD came blasting in around age 11.5. His temper had been " up " the previous 2-3 months. And HE was my no-temper, sweet, " good " child!! And when he presently will be sharp and/or tempermental towards me now, I really can tell that it's mostly at times when his OCD is stressing him worse; or when " I " am pushing him about his OCD problems; or when his brother(s) is picking on him in some way. And I notice 's OCD is bothering him lots of times when we're out for a long time, like at a store. He'll start wanting to know when we're leaving, I can see him sort of " stiffening, " he'll ask to push the cart, etc., and I'll watch his face and can " see " his OCD bothering him. And also at HOMEWORK time. And even at home when he's doing nothing! He'll ask to play a video game because he wants to watch, as he doesn't want to have to play himself. Okay, off topic here. Just wanted to say that even with definitely ONE typical son, one son with OCD, and another who has separation anxiety and lots of times hyperactivity and is a " pest " , plus remembering my own moodiness as a teenager - it's hard at times to distinguish from " typical " to " disorder " caused behavior; unless it's just the disorder increasing the amount of " emotion " put into the behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Factor in his age and the increase in rebelliousness that that brings and sometimes we don't have such a good scenario here ********** I try and keep this in mind for all 3 of mine - now ages 13 and almost 17. And hope that most times it's just a bad mood they're in. Though I DO try to let them know there's limits to that mood/behavior. Heck, I WARN them when I'm not in the best mood! Tho the twins (13) are still immature for their age (in my opinion and comparing to myself at that age and also their peers), I have seen an increase in my OCD-son's temperament, starting about the time right before OCD came blasting in around age 11.5. His temper had been " up " the previous 2-3 months. And HE was my no-temper, sweet, " good " child!! And when he presently will be sharp and/or tempermental towards me now, I really can tell that it's mostly at times when his OCD is stressing him worse; or when " I " am pushing him about his OCD problems; or when his brother(s) is picking on him in some way. And I notice 's OCD is bothering him lots of times when we're out for a long time, like at a store. He'll start wanting to know when we're leaving, I can see him sort of " stiffening, " he'll ask to push the cart, etc., and I'll watch his face and can " see " his OCD bothering him. And also at HOMEWORK time. And even at home when he's doing nothing! He'll ask to play a video game because he wants to watch, as he doesn't want to have to play himself. Okay, off topic here. Just wanted to say that even with definitely ONE typical son, one son with OCD, and another who has separation anxiety and lots of times hyperactivity and is a " pest " , plus remembering my own moodiness as a teenager - it's hard at times to distinguish from " typical " to " disorder " caused behavior; unless it's just the disorder increasing the amount of " emotion " put into the behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Dear Tammy, and others, Your sons behavior sounds like my daughter's when her OCD is acting up and she isn't on enough medication. She becomes very intense, argumentative, hyper... Well, she's always hyper, but when she is well, it's a happy hyper. When her OCD rules it is a very NASTY hyper. She becomes impossible to live with. Perhaps it's time to review your son's meds (if he is on any) and/or do some more intense therapy? When we get to this point I TRY to remember that no child wants to be bad and have everyone around him mad and upset all the time. It's the illness acting, not your child. Hang in there - even the worst spells come to an end eventually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Dear Tammy, and others, Your sons behavior sounds like my daughter's when her OCD is acting up and she isn't on enough medication. She becomes very intense, argumentative, hyper... Well, she's always hyper, but when she is well, it's a happy hyper. When her OCD rules it is a very NASTY hyper. She becomes impossible to live with. Perhaps it's time to review your son's meds (if he is on any) and/or do some more intense therapy? When we get to this point I TRY to remember that no child wants to be bad and have everyone around him mad and upset all the time. It's the illness acting, not your child. Hang in there - even the worst spells come to an end eventually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Dear Tammy, and others, Your sons behavior sounds like my daughter's when her OCD is acting up and she isn't on enough medication. She becomes very intense, argumentative, hyper... Well, she's always hyper, but when she is well, it's a happy hyper. When her OCD rules it is a very NASTY hyper. She becomes impossible to live with. Perhaps it's time to review your son's meds (if he is on any) and/or do some more intense therapy? When we get to this point I TRY to remember that no child wants to be bad and have everyone around him mad and upset all the time. It's the illness acting, not your child. Hang in there - even the worst spells come to an end eventually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: hyperactivity HI Patty: Hugs to you. When things get out of hand physically it really brings home the challenge of mental illness to a family. Please know our family has dealt with this too. A hard lesson we had to learn is that OCD is so tough of a problem that it cannot be solved by the family alone, no matter how much love, determination and patience exist. Professional help is essential IMO. I hope you can find some supportive therapy for yourself as you go through this transition with your job loss and its impact on your family. Please have a lot of hope that these social issues can resolve. They just take a lot longer and even more work than the OCD issues, at least if our family's experience is anything to go by. When Steve was getting better from OCD, he had lots of social issues and I was very worried about his future and his ability to resume social interactions with anything close to his former social skills. IT took a long time and lots of patience, modelling and shaping, but I received a beautiful compliment about his social skills a couple of days ago. My massage therapist, who was treating him when he was very sick, noted how well he is doing now. She had tears in her eyes while she marvelled at how well he is doing and how nicely he is maturing - a surprising compliment for a teen of 15! Love, patience and determination can achieve so much, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > Dear Vivian, i am haveing a real hard time also, my name is patty and my daughter is 12yrs old , i am sure you have written me back in the past. Anyway shauna was diagnost with o c d and psychotic traits about a year ago, and she was doing pretty good till i lost my job in dec and ins then we had to wait a month and now i have county help for her but its like we are starting all over again. shauna and i are haveing a real hard time i feel she has total control of me at home, and when i have slapped her she will slap me back , and when i get upset at her she will start yelling and freaking out. now i just get in my car and leave for 30 min or so, thats a little better. > my main concern is shauna does not get along with any kids and if she does its only for a short time, she is disrespectful to her teachers and she has a foul mouth at times she lies and sometimes seems like she dosent care about anything, i am going to family counceling but its so slow, I am falling apart and i dont know what to do anymore, she has been suspended from school 3 times and the school arent going to take much more, she has taken the academic testing Iep and she actually did pretty good so i dont know, please send advice if you have any, thank you so much patty manzanares in calif. Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... or louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: hyperactivity HI Patty: Hugs to you. When things get out of hand physically it really brings home the challenge of mental illness to a family. Please know our family has dealt with this too. A hard lesson we had to learn is that OCD is so tough of a problem that it cannot be solved by the family alone, no matter how much love, determination and patience exist. Professional help is essential IMO. I hope you can find some supportive therapy for yourself as you go through this transition with your job loss and its impact on your family. Please have a lot of hope that these social issues can resolve. They just take a lot longer and even more work than the OCD issues, at least if our family's experience is anything to go by. When Steve was getting better from OCD, he had lots of social issues and I was very worried about his future and his ability to resume social interactions with anything close to his former social skills. IT took a long time and lots of patience, modelling and shaping, but I received a beautiful compliment about his social skills a couple of days ago. My massage therapist, who was treating him when he was very sick, noted how well he is doing now. She had tears in her eyes while she marvelled at how well he is doing and how nicely he is maturing - a surprising compliment for a teen of 15! Love, patience and determination can achieve so much, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > Dear Vivian, i am haveing a real hard time also, my name is patty and my daughter is 12yrs old , i am sure you have written me back in the past. Anyway shauna was diagnost with o c d and psychotic traits about a year ago, and she was doing pretty good till i lost my job in dec and ins then we had to wait a month and now i have county help for her but its like we are starting all over again. shauna and i are haveing a real hard time i feel she has total control of me at home, and when i have slapped her she will slap me back , and when i get upset at her she will start yelling and freaking out. now i just get in my car and leave for 30 min or so, thats a little better. > my main concern is shauna does not get along with any kids and if she does its only for a short time, she is disrespectful to her teachers and she has a foul mouth at times she lies and sometimes seems like she dosent care about anything, i am going to family counceling but its so slow, I am falling apart and i dont know what to do anymore, she has been suspended from school 3 times and the school arent going to take much more, she has taken the academic testing Iep and she actually did pretty good so i dont know, please send advice if you have any, thank you so much patty manzanares in calif. Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... or louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: hyperactivity HI Patty: Hugs to you. When things get out of hand physically it really brings home the challenge of mental illness to a family. Please know our family has dealt with this too. A hard lesson we had to learn is that OCD is so tough of a problem that it cannot be solved by the family alone, no matter how much love, determination and patience exist. Professional help is essential IMO. I hope you can find some supportive therapy for yourself as you go through this transition with your job loss and its impact on your family. Please have a lot of hope that these social issues can resolve. They just take a lot longer and even more work than the OCD issues, at least if our family's experience is anything to go by. When Steve was getting better from OCD, he had lots of social issues and I was very worried about his future and his ability to resume social interactions with anything close to his former social skills. IT took a long time and lots of patience, modelling and shaping, but I received a beautiful compliment about his social skills a couple of days ago. My massage therapist, who was treating him when he was very sick, noted how well he is doing now. She had tears in her eyes while she marvelled at how well he is doing and how nicely he is maturing - a surprising compliment for a teen of 15! Love, patience and determination can achieve so much, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > Dear Vivian, i am haveing a real hard time also, my name is patty and my daughter is 12yrs old , i am sure you have written me back in the past. Anyway shauna was diagnost with o c d and psychotic traits about a year ago, and she was doing pretty good till i lost my job in dec and ins then we had to wait a month and now i have county help for her but its like we are starting all over again. shauna and i are haveing a real hard time i feel she has total control of me at home, and when i have slapped her she will slap me back , and when i get upset at her she will start yelling and freaking out. now i just get in my car and leave for 30 min or so, thats a little better. > my main concern is shauna does not get along with any kids and if she does its only for a short time, she is disrespectful to her teachers and she has a foul mouth at times she lies and sometimes seems like she dosent care about anything, i am going to family counceling but its so slow, I am falling apart and i dont know what to do anymore, she has been suspended from school 3 times and the school arent going to take much more, she has taken the academic testing Iep and she actually did pretty good so i dont know, please send advice if you have any, thank you so much patty manzanares in calif. Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... or louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Ill tell you it wouldn't be that easy for me, my daughter would flat out tell me no shes not going to bed, and what do i do then, yell and scream, take away that really dosent matter to much, heres a situation where she has control, i have gotton so mad i have slapped her arm or side, NEVER THE FACE i dont believe in that, but guess what she did , she slapped me back and said if i dont show her respect why should she. thats how counceling teaches like if i say a bad word, then its ok for my 11yr old daughter to and i am sorry i dont agree with that at all, but councelors do, i dont know help patty in calif. Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Ill tell you it wouldn't be that easy for me, my daughter would flat out tell me no shes not going to bed, and what do i do then, yell and scream, take away that really dosent matter to much, heres a situation where she has control, i have gotton so mad i have slapped her arm or side, NEVER THE FACE i dont believe in that, but guess what she did , she slapped me back and said if i dont show her respect why should she. thats how counceling teaches like if i say a bad word, then its ok for my 11yr old daughter to and i am sorry i dont agree with that at all, but councelors do, i dont know help patty in calif. Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Ill tell you it wouldn't be that easy for me, my daughter would flat out tell me no shes not going to bed, and what do i do then, yell and scream, take away that really dosent matter to much, heres a situation where she has control, i have gotton so mad i have slapped her arm or side, NEVER THE FACE i dont believe in that, but guess what she did , she slapped me back and said if i dont show her respect why should she. thats how counceling teaches like if i say a bad word, then its ok for my 11yr old daughter to and i am sorry i dont agree with that at all, but councelors do, i dont know help patty in calif. Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 Re: Re: hyperactivity In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, pattymanzanares@... writes: > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > maniac and she doesn't give up Kathy, Patty I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed time is 9:00). Any one have any other suggestions Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2002 Report Share Posted February 19, 2002 , Patty and everyone Thanks for your response. He is on medication, zoloft and just a month ago was put up by 25 mg. He just seen his therapist and psych. They know he is rebellious or tests the water. Just this past weekend was the worst he has gotten at one time. He has settled down since then. I guess the loss of the computer, gameboy and playstation did that. I don't expect him to be perfect I told him this. I just want him to listen most of the time. For example the weekend we wanted to have a family night out. He was hungry but did not have to act like he did. He could have gotten a salad or soup until the meal came. He has not even tried the breathing exercises the therapist suggested. Thanks for responding Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 HI Patty: Leaving the area is a good idea when there is conflict. I hope you are not driving away too upset and can calm down some before getting behind the wheel. I know what you mean about patience and love being in short supply. Sometimes I would wonder if I felt anything but duty towards Steve as I was so upset by his behaviors. Patience has never been my strong suit and I constantly have to work on it. Remember this group is here for you to " talk " to. Also we have our SUnday chats where you can write back and forth in real time. Have you read " The Explosive Child " ? THat book helped me to stop feeling bad about not having some of the difficult behaviors more under my control. We just focused on safety, and getting the meds adjusted so the explosiveness was less pronounced. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > > Kathy, Hi you are such a sweet ladt and i do appreciate your emails. > I just wish i had a friend or someone i could talk to at home, and right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a maniac and she doesn't give up till she drives me out of the house, and thats what i do i get in my car and leave for about a half hr, usually i go to church and pray for strength but sometimes my prayers arent answered. sometimes i feel i am looseing it. my life is one big circle of confuseion and has been for 4 yrs. thanks for being there for me > love Patty in calif. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 HI Patty: Leaving the area is a good idea when there is conflict. I hope you are not driving away too upset and can calm down some before getting behind the wheel. I know what you mean about patience and love being in short supply. Sometimes I would wonder if I felt anything but duty towards Steve as I was so upset by his behaviors. Patience has never been my strong suit and I constantly have to work on it. Remember this group is here for you to " talk " to. Also we have our SUnday chats where you can write back and forth in real time. Have you read " The Explosive Child " ? THat book helped me to stop feeling bad about not having some of the difficult behaviors more under my control. We just focused on safety, and getting the meds adjusted so the explosiveness was less pronounced. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > > Kathy, Hi you are such a sweet ladt and i do appreciate your emails. > I just wish i had a friend or someone i could talk to at home, and right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a maniac and she doesn't give up till she drives me out of the house, and thats what i do i get in my car and leave for about a half hr, usually i go to church and pray for strength but sometimes my prayers arent answered. sometimes i feel i am looseing it. my life is one big circle of confuseion and has been for 4 yrs. thanks for being there for me > love Patty in calif. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 HI Patty: Leaving the area is a good idea when there is conflict. I hope you are not driving away too upset and can calm down some before getting behind the wheel. I know what you mean about patience and love being in short supply. Sometimes I would wonder if I felt anything but duty towards Steve as I was so upset by his behaviors. Patience has never been my strong suit and I constantly have to work on it. Remember this group is here for you to " talk " to. Also we have our SUnday chats where you can write back and forth in real time. Have you read " The Explosive Child " ? THat book helped me to stop feeling bad about not having some of the difficult behaviors more under my control. We just focused on safety, and getting the meds adjusted so the explosiveness was less pronounced. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > > Kathy, Hi you are such a sweet ladt and i do appreciate your emails. > I just wish i had a friend or someone i could talk to at home, and right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a maniac and she doesn't give up till she drives me out of the house, and thats what i do i get in my car and leave for about a half hr, usually i go to church and pray for strength but sometimes my prayers arent answered. sometimes i feel i am looseing it. my life is one big circle of confuseion and has been for 4 yrs. thanks for being there for me > love Patty in calif. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 Hi: Dealing with difficult behaviors is a tremendous challenge. Often the difficult behaviors seem so much worse at the end of the day when we're all tired and not functioning optimally. What has helped me is to externalize the behaviors. TO recognize them as symptoms of OCD or depression and recognize they are not judgments of me as a parent or me as a person with a caring relationship for my child. Even if it seems otherwise, looking at these behaviors as a result of an illness, a no-fault disorder, can help me to calm down and make sure my behavior is more appropriate to the situation. Another thing that has worked is to have a plan, pre-negotiated, to deal with difficult behaviors. I found it much easier to follow the plan than to think on my feet about what to do when I was in the midst of dealing with some dreadful behavior. Now that Steve has been doing so well for so long I notice we have stopped using this approach, and often miss it when difficult times come up as they have a way of doing in a household with two teenagers. When Steve knew what the consequence was for his behavior, even when it was something mostly due to OCD, he accepted it more readily, not easily, just more readily. Learning to overlook certain behaviors which were difficult but not dangerous was the key. THis involves not listening to people who are Monday-morning quarterbacking our parenting of mentally ill childreen and consider us to be " spoiling " our kids. We are just wise in picking our battles, when we win one, and it takes time, then we can move on to work on another one. OUr kids get so much negative feedback, and it is the positive feedback we can give them that is far more effective in changing their behaviors. As always reminds us, remember to take care of yourself, forgive yourself and accept you are doing your best in a dreadfully difficult situation. Hang in there, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, > pattymanzanares@m... writes: > > > > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > > maniac and she doesn't give up > > Kathy, Patty > I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something > all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the > same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the > movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since > OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He > could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we > were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or > salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat > in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this > before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken > away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he > mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed > time is 9:00). > > Any one have any other suggestions > > > > > Tammy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 Hi: Dealing with difficult behaviors is a tremendous challenge. Often the difficult behaviors seem so much worse at the end of the day when we're all tired and not functioning optimally. What has helped me is to externalize the behaviors. TO recognize them as symptoms of OCD or depression and recognize they are not judgments of me as a parent or me as a person with a caring relationship for my child. Even if it seems otherwise, looking at these behaviors as a result of an illness, a no-fault disorder, can help me to calm down and make sure my behavior is more appropriate to the situation. Another thing that has worked is to have a plan, pre-negotiated, to deal with difficult behaviors. I found it much easier to follow the plan than to think on my feet about what to do when I was in the midst of dealing with some dreadful behavior. Now that Steve has been doing so well for so long I notice we have stopped using this approach, and often miss it when difficult times come up as they have a way of doing in a household with two teenagers. When Steve knew what the consequence was for his behavior, even when it was something mostly due to OCD, he accepted it more readily, not easily, just more readily. Learning to overlook certain behaviors which were difficult but not dangerous was the key. THis involves not listening to people who are Monday-morning quarterbacking our parenting of mentally ill childreen and consider us to be " spoiling " our kids. We are just wise in picking our battles, when we win one, and it takes time, then we can move on to work on another one. OUr kids get so much negative feedback, and it is the positive feedback we can give them that is far more effective in changing their behaviors. As always reminds us, remember to take care of yourself, forgive yourself and accept you are doing your best in a dreadfully difficult situation. Hang in there, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, > pattymanzanares@m... writes: > > > > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > > maniac and she doesn't give up > > Kathy, Patty > I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something > all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the > same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the > movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since > OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He > could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we > were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or > salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat > in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this > before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken > away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he > mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed > time is 9:00). > > Any one have any other suggestions > > > > > Tammy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2002 Report Share Posted March 3, 2002 Hi: Dealing with difficult behaviors is a tremendous challenge. Often the difficult behaviors seem so much worse at the end of the day when we're all tired and not functioning optimally. What has helped me is to externalize the behaviors. TO recognize them as symptoms of OCD or depression and recognize they are not judgments of me as a parent or me as a person with a caring relationship for my child. Even if it seems otherwise, looking at these behaviors as a result of an illness, a no-fault disorder, can help me to calm down and make sure my behavior is more appropriate to the situation. Another thing that has worked is to have a plan, pre-negotiated, to deal with difficult behaviors. I found it much easier to follow the plan than to think on my feet about what to do when I was in the midst of dealing with some dreadful behavior. Now that Steve has been doing so well for so long I notice we have stopped using this approach, and often miss it when difficult times come up as they have a way of doing in a household with two teenagers. When Steve knew what the consequence was for his behavior, even when it was something mostly due to OCD, he accepted it more readily, not easily, just more readily. Learning to overlook certain behaviors which were difficult but not dangerous was the key. THis involves not listening to people who are Monday-morning quarterbacking our parenting of mentally ill childreen and consider us to be " spoiling " our kids. We are just wise in picking our battles, when we win one, and it takes time, then we can move on to work on another one. OUr kids get so much negative feedback, and it is the positive feedback we can give them that is far more effective in changing their behaviors. As always reminds us, remember to take care of yourself, forgive yourself and accept you are doing your best in a dreadfully difficult situation. Hang in there, take care, aloha, kathy (h) kathyh@... > In a message dated 2/19/02 8:02:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, > pattymanzanares@m... writes: > > > > right now my patience and love are very short, its soooo hard for me to > > understand all this, sometimes i just want to slap her, she is so > > disrespectful to me and when she has to hear no for an answer, shes a > > maniac and she doesn't give up > > Kathy, Patty > I am going to chime in here. My son is the same way lately. Is this something > all or most kids with OCD deal with? I can relate to you Patty. I feel the > same way about my son. This weekend he just would not give up. We went to the > movies and out to dinner. Through the movie he kept asking questions (since > OCD he does this) about things he should know. At dinner he just was rude. He > could not sit and wait for his meal. He did not order salad or soup so we > were eating and he was not. He was asked several times if he wanted soup or > salad he said no. After his food did come he devoured it like he did not eat > in a week. We kept telling him to slow down. I never seen him like this > before. When we got home he got his playstation, computer and gameboy taken > away. He was sent to his room for 2 hours. When he was let out of his room he > mouthed off and was sent to bed for the night (it was 7:00, his normal bed > time is 9:00). > > Any one have any other suggestions > > > > > Tammy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Try removing all dyes and corn syrup from his diet, this made a really big difference with my son. -Charlotte hyperactivity What has worked for those of you with hyperactivekids? We're trying different things with my son andare seeing some good results but he's so hyperactivethat it's a problem most of the time, especially inthe evening. His psychiatrist said she's never seen akid that's so hyper. I think sometimes (maybe all the time) it's a form ofagitation or anxiety. I've noticed that duringtransition times when we're leaving the house that hegets very hyper and it's so hard to get him ready togo anywhere. He doesn't like to go anywhere andalways wants to stay home.Any advice?Thanks,Sara__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Try offering a chance for him to go where he wants to go too, either before or after the place you must go. Remove distractions when he is trying to get ready (turn off TV and radio, lay out clean clothes and hairbrush, and remove toys etc.). Diet can also make a difference. Reduce sugar intake and make sure he gets some exercise before the evening arrives. -- In Autism and Aspergers Treatment , Sara Woosley <sjwoosley@y...> wrote: > What has worked for those of you with hyperactive > kids? We're trying different things with my son and > are seeing some good results but he's so hyperactive > that it's a problem most of the time, especially in > the evening. His psychiatrist said she's never seen a > kid that's so hyper. > > I think sometimes (maybe all the time) it's a form of > agitation or anxiety. I've noticed that during > transition times when we're leaving the house that he > gets very hyper and it's so hard to get him ready to > go anywhere. He doesn't like to go anywhere and > always wants to stay home. > > Any advice? > > Thanks, > Sara > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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