Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Thanks for the reply. Off and On-I have heard through the grapevine what he's up to now. I do believe that his current situation and lifestyle does reflect that HE KNOWS and regrets what he gave up. I pity him but mostly I pray for him. > > Hi Renita.... > > You are 100% correct... He did run away because he was the weak one...not > you, you're stronger than you may realize. I think this disease either > makes you stronger or takes you down. That choice is ours to make ... > though there will be times that can wear you down. > > Hugs..thank you for your story. > > He doesn't realize how much he has lost. > > a > Ohio > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Dear Renita- I remember being told by my then current husband " what good are you, you'll be in a wheelchair in five years anyway " and off he went.This was on the heels of losing both my parents. I gained 50 pounds, tried to commit suicide and was " evaluated " psychologically for a week. Turns out my meds were causing manic psychotic symptoms which were treated. I felt horrible and unhappy. I got into therapy and realized that I needed a good support network and a new outlook and environment. I moved to CA from ME to start anew. My RA got better and I began to do the work on myself that caused me to become a victim and a doormat. I learned to empower myself and love myself. I started a new chapter in life once I discovered that by facing suffering and pain that I was destined to learn and to teach what it means to be a woman, a friend, a wife and an entity in my own right. I have since moved back east and am with the man of my heart. I met him and laid out my stuff straight on the table, the first date. I said " this is who I am, this is what I have, this is a good day for me and a bad day. " He thought I was incredibly strong and as time went by, and as my RA evolved and I would have more fatigue and more bad days than good, he stepped up to the plate to help. He really can see and feel my pain. The best thing about having a sensitive caring man is this. He becomes a giant heating pad. LOL. He will rub my back and shoulders and try to absorb my pain. He takes sandwiches into work so I dont have to cook during the week and takes me out to eat when I cant cook at all. Most men will run for the hills no doubt about it, but in some men, the true caretakers, they consider it a challenge. They arent afraid of the work or the patience or understanding it takes living as a caretaker. They arent afraid of facing their own mortality or the strain it causes on finances, intimate relationships and life in general. I recently apologized to my DH for not being able to keep up the house or laundry etc recently. I also dont attend parties with his friends most of the time. I just cant be " ON " and dont feel like being around people when I am in pain. I said everyone around me is living at 78 rpm or 33-1/3. I am revolving at 16 rpm. But I can love you, appreciate you and dote on you at 16rpm which makes you the richest man in the world. Remember who won the race. The TURTLE. I used to be a hare, dashing here and there, and though maybe I am just a creaky old slow moving turtle, but what a wise and resilient Turtle. Sometimes faster isnt always better. Sometimes healthy isnt always better and sometimes, living at 16rpm can make time go by slower, make you live longer and destress you in a way nothing else can. Find a man who lives at 16rpm and its a match made in heaven. Hugs, Deborah On 3/29/06, Renita <ramyst66@...> wrote: >> Hi Renita....>> You are 100% correct... He did run away because he was the weakone...not> you, you're stronger than you may realize. I think this disease either> makes you stronger or takes you down. That choice is ours to make ...> though there will be times that can wear you down.>> Hugs..thank you for your story.>> He doesn't realize how much he has lost. >> a> Ohio> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Now for the best part of the story! I have found a wonderful guy! He has Lupus so understands about good days and bad. We work together as a team. Some things he can do that I can't. He's works full time in computers for various companies so I work on the homefront taking care of US. We are currently located in West Virginia because his work brought him out here from our home in Colorado Springs. He is older than me by 11 years but the only way you'd know it is by his life experiences. He's had quite a few very physically active careers during his life. When computers really took off back in the late 80's & 90's, he taught himself and now holds many computer degrees. With the Lupus, I don't know if the daily stress of his job is good but I do know that he isn't killing himself by being a mechanic as he started out working on motorcycles and cars/trucks around 10 years old. He was the computer guy at my last job so I knew him. He knew about my RA. After my ex-fiance took off, he asked me out. We've been together ever since. I was totally shocked when he told me he had Lupus. He hides it very well and doesn't tell people. He vows that the Lupus will not win his life battle. He's been such an inspiration with helping me to vow that the RA will not win my life battle! The hands we are dealt may change day to day but we can always be winners by not quitting or giving in! BIG HUGS!!!! > > > > > > Hi Renita.... > > > > > > You are 100% correct... He did run away because he was the weak > > one...not > > > you, you're stronger than you may realize. I think this disease > > either > > > makes you stronger or takes you down. That choice is ours to make ... > > > though there will be times that can wear you down. > > > > > > Hugs..thank you for your story. > > > > > > He doesn't realize how much he has lost. > > > > > > a > > > Ohio > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 That's wonderful, Renita! My DH suffers from Crohn's, Mental Illness and back and leg pain from a broken leg. I think it definitely makes him more accepting about my health issues. We take care of each other. > > > > > > > > Hi Renita.... > > > > > > > > You are 100% correct... He did run away because he was the weak > > > one...not > > > > you, you're stronger than you may realize. I think this disease > > > either > > > > makes you stronger or takes you down. That choice is ours to > make ... > > > > though there will be times that can wear you down. > > > > > > > > Hugs..thank you for your story. > > > > > > > > He doesn't realize how much he has lost. > > > > > > > > a > > > > Ohio > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Hi Renita- See what I mean. Its true. Lupus is a tough one to carry but having RA is just a kissing cousin. Lupus attacks the organs while Ra attacks the joints. Tell your guy about MRA. It is specifically designed for people with lupus. Works on IL-6 receptors. It is in trials now. Happy to hear everything is working great for you. So nice to generate some hopeful happy stories now and again. Its 63 degrees here in maine.......like a heat wave. So lovely. Hugs, Deborah On 3/30/06, Renita <ramyst66@...> wrote: Now for the best part of the story! I have found a wonderful guy! Hehas Lupus so understands about good days and bad. We work together as a team. Some things he can do that I can't. He's works full time incomputers for various companies so I work on the homefront takingcare of US. We are currently located in West Virginia because hiswork brought him out here from our home in Colorado Springs. He is older than me by 11 years but the only way you'd know it is by hislife experiences. He's had quite a few very physically activecareers during his life. When computers really took off back in thelate 80's & 90's, he taught himself and now holds many computer degrees. With the Lupus, I don't know if the daily stress of his jobis good but I do know that he isn't killing himself by being amechanic as he started out working on motorcycles and cars/trucksaround 10 years old. He was the computer guy at my last job so I knew him. He knew aboutmy RA. After my ex-fiance took off, he asked me out. We've beentogether ever since. I was totally shocked when he told me he hadLupus. He hides it very well and doesn't tell people. He vows that the Lupus will not win his life battle. He's been such an inspirationwith helping me to vow that the RA will not win my life battle!The hands we are dealt may change day to day but we can always bewinners by not quitting or giving in! BIG HUGS!!!!> > >> > > Hi Renita.... > > >> > > You are 100% correct... He did run away because he was the weak> > one...not> > > you, you're stronger than you may realize. I think this disease> > either > > > makes you stronger or takes you down. That choice is ours tomake ...> > > though there will be times that can wear you down.> > >> > > Hugs..thank you for your story. > > >> > > He doesn't realize how much he has lost.> > >> > > a> > > Ohio> > >> >> >> >> >> > > >> >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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