Re: Appt. Friday Morning-Info Please

November 30, 2001

Hi Marie,

Thank you for writing. The info you sent about Dr. D. was for a

friend in another state who has a friend in Boston. My friend asked

if I knew of an LLMD in Boston for her. I'm in Central New Jersey

and couldn't go to him since he's MUCH too far plus I doubt he's in

the HMO.

No, I don't go to an LLMD and can't because none are (or will deal

with.) the HMO. I'm in an HMO as a requirement for NJFamilyCare--a

Medicaid program. I've been through this and it is hopeless. So

convincing an ILLITERATE one is all I have. And no one to speak up

for me.

I think I read that article you referred to but will go to it when I

have time (it's an hour before the appt. as I type.). I know about

the controversy but I don't know what any given doctor knows. They'd

never read anything anyway.

As far as I know no one has heard of the doctor I'm trying this

morning. Bad sign. And the one I'm trying in two weeks I heard from

one person that he's listed as a last resort and from another that

he's an as----- (my favourite word for doctors too!). I know there's

no hope.

Thanks for the encouragement but no I'm not strong. I've been ground

down to a fine powder by this vile world and most of all by my loved

ones.

I've HAD the stupid twice over the years and it was negative.

I wish I hadn't had it because then I wouldn't have " known "

I " didn't " have Lyme and lost all these years and lost everything. I

have a positive LUAT. I know about the co-infections.

Well, I better go and finish eating and get ready. I am DREADING

this. I KNOW it will fail like all the others. And then my mother

will blame ME again. Yeah, I agree I think my parents are in denial

about the Lyme even though they think I'M in denial about having a

mental problem. I agree I have a couple mental symptoms--just not

that they are THE PROBLEM--they are just symptoms of Lyme. My

boyfriend--I don't know what he really thinks as he's said

contradicting things over the years. I think for him he really can't

deal with anything about it and that's why he threw me away. I gotta

go but will write more later. By the way I did reply to your private

email last week or whenever. I'd like to hear back from you if you

have time and energy to reply to it. Thank you for your interest.

Madeleine

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