Keeping Ourselves Centered & Protected

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Keeping Ourselves Centered and Protected

by Judith Orloff MD

As you go through the intuitive healing process you need to know: each

of us has our own special power. We carry it within; it waits to be

awakened. Call it your inner self, your spirit, or light--however

conceived, you must meet and come to know your core-essence. The source

of all intuition, it is your fiercest ally and advocate against danger.

By connecting with this part of yourself you'll mount confidence, feel

safer in the world. Then whatever or whoever crosses your path--even

the devil incarnate--will be no match for your resilience.

I want you to flush out beliefs that divert you from your intuitive

healing power. Begin by asking yourself, " What in my life throws me off

center and why? " I'm referring to everything from a stranger flashing

you a dirty look, to fear of rejection, to dealing with someone in

pain. Interactions where your energy dims. Weak spots, points that need

securing. And what about negativity? How do you deal with yours, or

another's? If a supervisor says, " You'll never be successful, " or an

ex-lover announces, " You're incapable of a healthy relationship, " do

you buy into it? We each have our triggers. The basis for centering and

protection is grasping where we get caught, and then disengaging the

trigger.

Four common beliefs that drain your intuitive healing power:

1. I'm not strong enough to protect myself.

As children, many

of us aren't taught to believe in the full power we contain. Yes, our

parents may support our intelligence, talents, physical

attractiveness--even teach us sound ethical values, the difference

between right and wrong. But what happens to our inner self? Might even

devoutly religious parents fail to realize it is there? Our starting

point is to recognize we possess a very real internal source which

enables us to deeply see and know. Yet when something goes wrong,

frequently our first impulse is to look outside ourselves for someone

to " fix " us. We get sick; we rush to the doctor. We become depressed;

we call a therapist. We're in pain; we take a pill. It's fine to seek

expertise--but we have it backwards. Look inside first. Really, it's

not a big blank in there. Then act on what your wisdom tells you. What

stops us? A likely culprit is the vulnerable child we each carry

within. Mogul or mailman, mother or monk, this aspect of our psyche

yearns to be taken care of, protected, and is unequipped to do it

alone. He pops up in the darndest circumstances, reducing us to a

helpless tiny tot. Of course we must tenderly acknowledge her

needs--but know where to draw the line. Would you want a baby running

your boardroom? Your life? Remember: Your inner self is more than your

inner child. Far grander--capable of ministering to all your needs--is

the radiance of your spirit. Feeling this, knowing this, is the best

protection of all. You must become your own champion before anyone else

can. When you believe in yourself, no one else can diminish you.

2. Other people's negative thoughts can harm me.

In my

workshops, I'm struck by how worried participants are about being

thwarted by other people's negative thoughts. Such concerns need to be

addressed. On an intuitive healing level, ill intentions or feelings

can affect us, creating anxiety or physical dis-ease. We must train

ourselves to deflect them. What is negative energy? Any force

antithetical to your well-being. How does it turn up in everyday life?

Let's start at the lower end of the spectrum. Your neighbor doesn't

approve of you. A friend puts down your plan to start college at forty.

Your ex-boyfriend's girlfriend is sending you bad vibes. What do you

do?

Strategies to develop intuitive healing:

Don't lead a lifestyle based on assuming others are out to get you. This perpetuates fear.

If someone is sending you negative thoughts, avoid dwelling on

them. The more attention you pay to negativity, the more influence you

give it. Focusing on the strength of your inner self is the best

defense against negativity, no matter how dramatic its manifestation.

If you are solidly connected to yourself, nothing can get you.

3. I'm too sensitive for my own good.

The arch-enemy of intuition is lack of sensitivity. Know this: There is

no such thing as being overly sensitive. To grasp the concept, you may

have to reconfigure old ideas that have been drummed into your head.

When parents or teachers said, " You have to toughen up, " or especially

with boys, " only sissies cry, " unknowingly they were undermining the

very crux of your intuitive tie with the world. Male sensibility, in

particular, has been bludgeoned by such rigid conditioning. But, for

both sexes, to break down childhood armoring requires extraordinary

commitment, trust, and resolve.

What I'm speaking of isn't simply expressing your emotions. It's slowly

learning, in your own time frame, to remain wide open to an intuitive

realm--being one with the wind, the moon, other people's joys, sorrows,

the continuum of life and death. From this comes an intimate ecstatic

bond with all of existence, exactly what you don't want to protect

yourself from. Sensitivity only turns against you when you feel

overwhelmed. But how do you stay receptive and not get obliterated by

the intensity of such input? It is possible to remain vulnerable and

feel safe. The answer is never to shut your sensitivity off but to

develop it as a creative resource.

4. It's my job to take on the pain of others.

We're trained

that as big-hearted people it's laudable to try to relieve the pain of

others. A homeless person holding a cardboard sign, " I'm hungry. Will

work for food " at a busy intersection; a hurt child; a distraught

friend. It's natural to want to reach out to them, ease their angst.

But many of us don't stop there. Inadvertently, we take it on. Suddenly

we're the one feeling desolate, off kilter, bereft, when we felt fine

before. This loss of center is what I want to address. It does not

serve us. I am adamant: the most compassionate, effective route to

healing people is to be a supportive presence, not attempt to live

their pain for them. Moreover, sometimes suffering has its own cycle

that has to be respected, hard as that may be to witness.

We must lie to rest the old metaphysical prototype of the

empathic healer. Typically grossly obese women (extra weight, they

mistakenly argued, was the only way to stay grounded), who cured

patients by absorbing symptoms with the technique of laying on of

hands. The result? Patients would leave feeling better; the healers

would be a sickly wreck. These women were convinced such a sacrifice

was necessary to lessen the suffering of others. As a young physician,

I almost got snagged in the same trap. During the first months of

private practice, I used to drag myself home, flop into bed half-dead

from everything I'd absorb: a sure path to burn-out. This tack wasn't

good for me or my patients.

I've learned the value of being a catalyst for people's growth without

compromising my well-being. Patients themselves have taught me I can't

do the work for them. That is not my job. Nor is it yours. Keep this in

mind: it is none of our business to deprive anyone else of their life

experiences. I understand the impulse to want to make things better.

Compassion and the desire to console are human. But there's a fine line

between supporting someone and trying to do it for them. No matter how

well-meaning or heartfelt your intention, doing too much is not an act

of love but of sabotage. You can be caring and honest with someone, yet

still let them be. Don't equate honoring their growth process with

abandoning them. A practical philosophy of intuitive healing must

include preserving your energy as well as serving others. Striking a

balance is essential.

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About Judith Orloff

Judith Orloff MD, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at

UCLA and intuition expert, is author of the new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your

Life (Harmony Books, 2009) Her other bestsellers are Positive Energy,

Intuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls

of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and

energy medicine. She passionately believes that the future of medicine

involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and

total wellness. www.drjudithorloff.com

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