How to Stop Absorbing The Energy of Others

[Guest guest]

How to Stop Absorbing The Energy of OthersDr. Judith Orloff Saturday, 27 September, 2008 How

do you constructively deal with intuitive empathy? What practical

methods can you employ to avoid becoming overamped or depleted? I'm

going to present some strategies I use. Try them. See which appeal. One

is not more preferable than another. Most important is if your choice

works. Walk away Let's say

you're chatting with a man you've just met at a conference and your

energy starts bottoming out. Here's how to tell if you're being zapped:

Don't hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least twenty feet

from him (outside the range of his energy field). If you receive

immediate relief, there's your answer. Most people are oblivious to how

their energy impacts others. Even energy vampires--people who feed off

your energy to compensate for a lack of their own--aren't generally

intending to sap you yet still they do. Obnoxious or meek, vampires

come in all forms. Watch out for them. For years, reluctant to hurt

anyone's feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and

suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving

maniac can be right in our face, and still we don't budge for fear of

offending? Whenever possible--if your well-being feels at risk with an

individual or group--give yourself permission to make a tactful and

swift exit. In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick

solution. Shield yourself A

handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying

patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color

you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a

shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows

what's positive to filter in. For instance, your sister is on the

rampage. She's about to blow up; you don't want her anger to shatter

you. Now--take a deep breath, center yourself, engage your shield.

Literally picture it forming a fail-safe barrier around you which

deactivates anger. It simply can't get to you. Shielding is a

deliberately defensive technique aimed at guarding your feelings, not

repressing them. It works by establishing a perimeter of protection

around you that functionally doesn't permit harm in. Practice vulnerability One

tenet of my spiritual practice is to remain as vulnerable as I can to

everything; not to shield, the antithesis of defense. Some people

prefer my strategy, some don't. Use it if it succeeds for you. Here's

the premise (not madness) behind this: if we solidify our bond to our

inner self, we'll become centered enough not to need to defend at all.

Thus, the best protection turns out to be no protection--a stance that

initially alarmed me. It didn't seem possible I could do hands-on

energy work with someone who had cancer or depression, for example,

without absorbing their symptoms myself. But it was. What could be more

liberating than to find I could hold my own and still remain open! Too

often we're taught to equate vulnerability with weakness. Not so. I

like being vulnerable and also strong. This disarms people. To me, the

appeal of such an approach is that it's a non-fear-based way of living

in the world. It requires that, increasingly, you harmonize with

whatever you confront, let it flow through you, then recenter again,

stabilized by your own resilience. Pace yourself. A vulnerable posture

will feel safer the stronger you get. It is a choice and a life-long

practice. Meditate To cement

your inner bond and hold your center in any situation, I recommend a

daily practice of meditation where you focus on the spirit within.

Doing so gets you into the habit of connecting with yourself. Start

with a few minutes, then gradually increase the duration. The technique

is simple: follow your breath and explore the silence. It is not void

or empty; that's the mystery. As thoughts come, and they will, continue

to refocus on your breath. Every inhalation. Every exhalation. The

spaces between thoughts are where your spirit waits to be discovered.

There is something real in there worth finding. My spirit feels like a

core of head-to-toe warmth vertically aligned though the center of my

body. Imbued in the warmth itself is an intelligence and intuitive

responsiveness to my rhythms and questions. It speaks only truth, which

resonates like a chiming in every cell. Silently become

acquainted with your spirit. You can return to it to reinforce who you

really are--not just the self you present to the world, but that part

of you that is timeless. Make room to pursue it.