Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 ROFLMAO OMG I have not read anything that funny in a long time! I have to ask.. and hope I'm not being a complete idiot... I'm guessing this is a true story from the way it sounds, is there really a picture of this... event? just for laughs > Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. -- _______________________________________________ Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 ROFLMAO OMG I have not read anything that funny in a long time! I have to ask.. and hope I'm not being a complete idiot... I'm guessing this is a true story from the way it sounds, is there really a picture of this... event? just for laughs > Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. -- _______________________________________________ Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 I am not sure if its a true story or not..someone sent it to me with the heading " if you have teen " I just thought it was the funniest thing.I was sooo not expecting that..lol No i doubt there is a picture..LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 I am not sure if its a true story or not..someone sent it to me with the heading " if you have teen " I just thought it was the funniest thing.I was sooo not expecting that..lol No i doubt there is a picture..LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 This was way to funny! -Nick > > Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. > Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me > there was " something wrong " with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in > > his room. " He's just lying there looking sick, " he told me. " I'm serious, > Dad. Can you help? " > > I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his > bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking > stressed. I immediately knew what to do. > " Honey, " I called, " come look at the hamster! " > > Oh, my gosh, " my wife diagnosed after a minute. > " She's having babies. " > > " What? " my son demanded. " But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom! " > > I was equally outraged. " Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't > want them to reproduce, " I accused my wife. > > " Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage,? " she inquired. > > (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) > > " No, but you were supposed to get two boys! " I reminded her, (in my most > loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). > > " Yeah, Bert and Ernie! " my son agreed. > > " Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, ya know, " she informed > me. (Again with the sarcasm, ya think?) > > By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I > shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. > > " Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. " We're about > to witness the miracle of birth. " > > " OH, Gross! " , they shrieked. > > " Well, isn't THAT just Great!; what are we going to do with a litter of tiny > little hamster babies? " my wife wanted to know. > (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?) > > We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny > foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. > > " We don't appear to be making much progress, " I noted. > > " It's breech, " my wife whispered, horrified. > > " Do something, Dad! " my son urged. > > " Okay, okay. " Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next > appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more > times with the same results. > > " Should I call 911? " my eldest daughter wanted to know. " Maybe they could > talk us through the trauma. " (You see a pattern here with the females in my > house?) > > " Let's get Ernie to the vet, " I said grimly. > > We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie, > > breathe, " he urged. > > " I don't think hamsters do Lamaze, " his mother noted to him. (Women can be > so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but > this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) > > The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal > > through a magnifying glass. > > " What do you think, Doc, a c-section? " I suggested scientifically. > > " Oh, very interesting, " he murmured. " Mr. and Mrs. > Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment? " I gulped, nodding for my > > son to step outside. > > " Is Ernie going to be okay? " my wife asked. > > Oh, perfectly, " the vet assured us. " This hamster is not in labor. In fact, > > that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. " > > " What!? " > > " You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into > maturity, like most male species, they um.... > er....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back. " He blushed, > glancing at my wife. > > " Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron. " We were silent, absorbing > this. > > " So Ernie's just...just...Excited? " , my wife offered. > > " Exactly, " the vet replied, relieved that we understood. > > More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. > And then even laugh loudly. > > " What's so funny? " I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I > married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. > Tears were now running down her face. > > " It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its.....teeny > little... " she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. > > " That's enough, " I warned. > > We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamster and our son > back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. > > " I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad, " he told me. > > " Oh, you have NO idea, " my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. > > 2 - Hamsters - 10 bucks... > > 1 - Cage - 20 bucks Trip to the Vet ...30 bucks... > > Pictures of your hubby pulling on the hamster's > tally-wacker........Priceless! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 This was way to funny! -Nick > > Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. > Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me > there was " something wrong " with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in > > his room. " He's just lying there looking sick, " he told me. " I'm serious, > Dad. Can you help? " > > I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his > bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking > stressed. I immediately knew what to do. > " Honey, " I called, " come look at the hamster! " > > Oh, my gosh, " my wife diagnosed after a minute. > " She's having babies. " > > " What? " my son demanded. " But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom! " > > I was equally outraged. " Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't > want them to reproduce, " I accused my wife. > > " Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage,? " she inquired. > > (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) > > " No, but you were supposed to get two boys! " I reminded her, (in my most > loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). > > " Yeah, Bert and Ernie! " my son agreed. > > " Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, ya know, " she informed > me. (Again with the sarcasm, ya think?) > > By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I > shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. > > " Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. " We're about > to witness the miracle of birth. " > > " OH, Gross! " , they shrieked. > > " Well, isn't THAT just Great!; what are we going to do with a litter of tiny > little hamster babies? " my wife wanted to know. > (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?) > > We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny > foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. > > " We don't appear to be making much progress, " I noted. > > " It's breech, " my wife whispered, horrified. > > " Do something, Dad! " my son urged. > > " Okay, okay. " Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next > appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more > times with the same results. > > " Should I call 911? " my eldest daughter wanted to know. " Maybe they could > talk us through the trauma. " (You see a pattern here with the females in my > house?) > > " Let's get Ernie to the vet, " I said grimly. > > We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie, > > breathe, " he urged. > > " I don't think hamsters do Lamaze, " his mother noted to him. (Women can be > so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but > this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) > > The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal > > through a magnifying glass. > > " What do you think, Doc, a c-section? " I suggested scientifically. > > " Oh, very interesting, " he murmured. " Mr. and Mrs. > Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment? " I gulped, nodding for my > > son to step outside. > > " Is Ernie going to be okay? " my wife asked. > > Oh, perfectly, " the vet assured us. " This hamster is not in labor. In fact, > > that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. " > > " What!? " > > " You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into > maturity, like most male species, they um.... > er....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back. " He blushed, > glancing at my wife. > > " Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron. " We were silent, absorbing > this. > > " So Ernie's just...just...Excited? " , my wife offered. > > " Exactly, " the vet replied, relieved that we understood. > > More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. > And then even laugh loudly. > > " What's so funny? " I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I > married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. > Tears were now running down her face. > > " It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its.....teeny > little... " she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. > > " That's enough, " I warned. > > We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamster and our son > back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. > > " I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad, " he told me. > > " Oh, you have NO idea, " my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. > > 2 - Hamsters - 10 bucks... > > 1 - Cage - 20 bucks Trip to the Vet ...30 bucks... > > Pictures of your hubby pulling on the hamster's > tally-wacker........Priceless! > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 LOL It was a very funny one! I didn't want to see the picture if there was one, just thought it may be true b/c of how that was put in there. I couldnt imagine what it could be when the vet said it was a male and not pregnant, that was unexpected like you said! LOL Very good story tho, I get jokes everyday from people and a lot are repeats, but the one you posted has got to be the best in a long time, thanks for the laugh! Connie Re: just for laughs > I am not sure if its a true story or not..someone sent it to me with the > heading " if you have teen " I just thought it was the funniest thing.I was > sooo not expecting that..lol > No i doubt there is a picture..LOL > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2003 Report Share Posted April 16, 2003 LOL It was a very funny one! I didn't want to see the picture if there was one, just thought it may be true b/c of how that was put in there. I couldnt imagine what it could be when the vet said it was a male and not pregnant, that was unexpected like you said! LOL Very good story tho, I get jokes everyday from people and a lot are repeats, but the one you posted has got to be the best in a long time, thanks for the laugh! Connie Re: just for laughs > I am not sure if its a true story or not..someone sent it to me with the > heading " if you have teen " I just thought it was the funniest thing.I was > sooo not expecting that..lol > No i doubt there is a picture..LOL > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 I agree here, using a disability just for making people laugh is inane. I don't consider being deaf funny and neither would any of my deaf friends. I don't find SMA funny either. ABC needs to understand this, disabilities are not appropriate to make jokes about. On 8/21/07, hollyrp@... <hollyrp@...> wrote: > > Hey, > > Okay...it may just be me. I've had a rough day so I am a little rough > around the edges tonight, but I thought it would be funny to relax by > watching the new show on ABC, " Just for Laughs. " A great many of their > sketches involve a fake disabled person. I've seen a mannequin in a > wheelchair being dumped in a cutout sidewalk, a " blind " person pouring water > all over customers' tables instead of in their glasses, a lady in a > wheelchair asking for help to push the button to cross the street causing a > pole fall on a car, a " blind " man peeing in a stream where people are > tubing, a blind man falling in a sidewalk cutout, a man on a stretcher > needing his IV bag held...etc. Every episode has been like this. At first it > was funny (I've pulled a trick or two myself). But now it's starting to feel > less and less funny. And I've got a funny sense of humor...but is it > *really* funny to make a dope of disability for the sole purpose of making > people laugh? Has anyone else noticed this? It may just be me. > > Blessings, > Holly > > " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper > you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " > ~ 29:11 ~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I agree the other day I was watching Mencia and It looks like he does not have too much creativity. Everyhing was about disable people. Honestly I tried to understand the consept but at the end it resulted kind of stupid that every joke were about this. I mean, it does not bother me to hear jokes abot disebled people (not everybody is in my place and others find it funny) but too much makes him look stupid. > > > > Hey, > > > > Okay...it may just be me. I've had a rough day so I am a little rough > > around the edges tonight, but I thought it would be funny to relax by > > watching the new show on ABC, " Just for Laughs. " A great many of their > > sketches involve a fake disabled person. I've seen a mannequin in a > > wheelchair being dumped in a cutout sidewalk, a " blind " person pouring water > > all over customers' tables instead of in their glasses, a lady in a > > wheelchair asking for help to push the button to cross the street causing a > > pole fall on a car, a " blind " man peeing in a stream where people are > > tubing, a blind man falling in a sidewalk cutout, a man on a stretcher > > needing his IV bag held...etc. Every episode has been like this. At first it > > was funny (I've pulled a trick or two myself). But now it's starting to feel > > less and less funny. And I've got a funny sense of humor...but is it > > *really* funny to make a dope of disability for the sole purpose of making > > people laugh? Has anyone else noticed this? It may just be me. > > > > Blessings, > > Holly > > > > " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper > > you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " > > ~ 29:11 ~ > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I don't often like such jokes when they're not very clever, though, I must admit I enjoyed the old " Handyman " skits. I think they were on " In Living Color. " I like it when the jokes are less slapstick and more about the stereotypical responses and reactions we encounter navigating the non-disabled world. At the Superfest 2006 International Disability Film Festival I saw a fantastic and hysterical T.V. show in Great Britain called, " I'm Spazticus. " It's an irreverent hidden camera comedy featuring a cast of disabled performers playing pranks on an unsuspecting public. For example, a woman goes into a shop for a manicure and realiizes she left something in her car. She tells the manicurist that she'll be right back, unstraps her prosthetic arm, and leaves it on the table for her to work on it. In another skit a m=blind man asks for directions from a couple. They start to tell him and he interrupts them and asks them to tell his guide dog instead. They do! We used to do this sort of thing to our novice MDA summer camp counselors (mean teenagers!). I think it makes a difference when actual crips are involved in producing the humor. It's not for everyone, but I really appreciate non-PC crip humor by crips. Cartoonist Callaghan, quadruplegic, is great! He wrote the autobiography, " Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot " and has a couple of cartoon books. Though, I don't appreciate his fat-phobic humor. Alana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2007 Report Share Posted December 23, 2007 Three Men on a Hike Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: " God, please give me the strength to cross the river. " Poof! .... God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim Across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: " God, please give me strength And the tools to cross the river " Poof! .... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was Able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: " God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross The river " Poof! . He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one Hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge. GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT! " If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 That is definately hilarious ! I cant believe that they say have a happy period ! A man had to have written that advertisement ! Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Patty ~ Awesome hearing you laugh over there. You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as a happy period, thats like saying ......... happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. Love you ~ DedeWho's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Patty, I feel your happiness here from Ohio. I have been a stay home mom for 21 years except odd jobs where my boys helped me in the painting business. But never worked for anyone but me. The Roses do smell good and that is a blessing to get to do that. congratulations Girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yeah In a message dated 2/8/2008 11:26:59 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, glory2glory1401@... writes: Well, I've got good news...my husband asked me to quit my second job and I gave my notice today...I'm smiling...and going to be smelling some roses! I'm going to be so thankful to be at home full time again!Patty>> Patty ~> Awesome hearing you laugh over there.> You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as> a happy period, thats like saying .........> happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something.> Love you ~ Dede> > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. > (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?NCID=aolcmp003000000025> 48)> Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Well, I've got good news...my husband asked me to quit my second job and I gave my notice today...I'm smiling...and going to be smelling some roses! I'm going to be so thankful to be at home full time again! Patty > > Patty ~ > Awesome hearing you laugh over there. > You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as > a happy period, thats like saying ......... > happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. > Love you ~ Dede > > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. > (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? NCID=aolcmp003000000025 > 48) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Congratulations Patty. I think it was too hard on you. I am glad you proved to yourself that you could do it, but hope that you don't have to ever do it again. Lynda At 09:26 PM 2/8/2008, you wrote: >Well, I've got good news...my husband asked me to quit my second job >and I gave my notice today...I'm smiling...and going to be smelling >some roses! I'm going to be so thankful to be at home full time >again! >Patty > > > > > > Patty ~ > > Awesome hearing you laugh over there. > > You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > > Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as > > a happy period, thats like saying ......... > > happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. > > Love you ~ Dede > > > > > > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL >Music. > > > (<http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?>http://music.aol.com\ /grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? >NCID=aolcmp003000000025 > > 48) > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 That is good news Patty . . . You have enough on your plate! . . . I suspect your hubby appreciates all you do now, more than ever!Hugs,Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Me too, Lynda, me too. Sending healing hugs your way, Patty > > > > > > Patty ~ > > > Awesome hearing you laugh over there. > > > You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > > > Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as > > > a happy period, thats like saying ......... > > > happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. > > > Love you ~ Dede > > > > > > > > > > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL > >Music. > > > > > (<http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? >http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? > >NCID=aolcmp003000000025 > > > 48) > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 You're blessed ! Blessed! Patty > > > > Patty ~ > > Awesome hearing you laugh over there. > > You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > > Isnt that hysterical.. Isnt that hysterical > > a happy period, thats like saying ......... > > happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. > > Love you ~ Dede > > > > > > > > ************ ************<WBR>**Biggest Grammy Award surprises o > Music. > > (_http://music.http://music.<WBhttp://muhttp://mushttp://mu_ > (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy?) > NCID=aolcmp00300000NCID > > 48) > > > > > > > > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. > (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? NCID=aolcmp003000000025 > 48) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 This is wonderful news!! Hugs, Lynn > > > > Patty ~ > > Awesome hearing you laugh over there. > > You need to stop and smell the roses girl ! > > Isnt that hysterical....geesh, no such thing as > > a happy period, thats like saying ......... > > happy blue balls or hemrrhoids or something. > > Love you ~ Dede > > > > > > > > **************Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL > Music. > > (http://music.aol.com/grammys/pictures/never-won-a-grammy? > NCID=aolcmp003000000025 > > 48) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2008 Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 Just for laughs YouTube - Drunk Airline Pilot - Dean & YouTube - Rowan & 's Laugh-In Clip #12 Peace, Love, Light, and Joy, Cherylvisit me at: www.myspace.com/senegalady "You need to smile to your sorrow because you are more than your sorrow." Thich Nhat Hanh Looking for simple solutions to your real-life financial challenges? Check out WalletPop for the latest news and information, tips and calculators. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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