A Bad Day at Hallmark Cards

[Guest guest]

Ever wonder what happens when a Hallmark Cards Writer

has a bad day?

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My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... 'What the hell was I thinking?'

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Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have Someone to hold, Someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

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Happy birthday!

You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together, You always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop?

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I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do Something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

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