Missing / absent Members: General Guidelines

[Guest guest]

Hello Family,I have been very concern about some members that are just absent from this Group,As a family we really enjoy each other's company and Therefore we get concern when you just disappear! Here the List: & MarkSheila (Canada)Rhonda (Canada)Randy And many others. Please know that I am attaching the message below so you guys are aware of our guidelines. I love you all,LianeThis is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval application, how MUCH they loved sharing!

In General

Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

Illness

We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your doctor. If you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and participate in the group.

Surgery

Surgeries are forbidden. As

long as you are a member of this group you need all of your organs. You

do not have the right to have anything removed. You joined this group

in complete condition and removal of anything from your body is reason

enough to have you removed.

Days-off

Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable. Vacation All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are: Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

Being absent because of death in the family etc. There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the group. For those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on, you can't do anything anyway.

In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can do the honors.

If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night when other members are sleeping.

Being absent for your own death

This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required to give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you from our membership list. Using the Toilet

Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In

the future, visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last

name starts with A, will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20.

Those with the letter B from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those times, will have to wait until the next day. In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but only with written permission from a moderator. In addition, there will be a 3

minute time period for the use of the bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are

up, you will hear a signal, will automatically pull in the toilet

paper, the door will open and your photo will be taken. Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the form of a stationery,

and will be shown to the group via YouTube. Lunchtime

Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a lot. For normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack. Heavier members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink and a diet pill. I would like to thank you for your

understanding. We will do everything possible to make your stay a

pleasant one. Should you have any questions, comments, concerns,

complaints or moaning and groaning in general, please direct them

elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with them. Now post something!!

I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-) Much love and respect to all,Liane

[Guest guest]

OMG !!

She was serious......rflol with tears!

Love and Blessings,

Peacie

[Guest guest]

Elaine, no one is going to let you go I promise.

Peace, Love, Light, and Joy, Cherylvisit me at: www.myspace.com/senegalady

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance .MY OATH TO YOU... When you are sad....I will dry your tears. When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears. When you are worried.....I will give you hope. When you are confused.....I will help you cope. And when you are lost....And can't see the light, I shall be your beacon.....Shining ever so bright. This is my oath......I pledge till the end. Why you may ask?....Because you're my friend. Signed: GOD

In a message dated 12/12/2008 8:24:39 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, elaineweide@... writes:

Apparantly this is written in fun, but I've read it enough to wonder. So many of you have helped me hang on, just knowing you are there and alive in your words. I am going through a drought period and try to share, but worry I have nothing to offer. Please don't let me go.

From: lianeqrz_legey <butterflygris@ gmail.com>Subject: [] Missing / absent Members: General GuidelinesDate: Friday, December 12, 2008, 8:19 AM

Hello Family,I have been very concern about some members that are just absent from this Group,As a family we really enjoy each other's company and Therefore we get concern when you just disappear! Here the List: & MarkSheila (Canada)Rhonda (Canada)Randy And many others. Please know that I am attaching the message below so you guys are aware of our guidelines. I love you all,Liane

This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval application, how MUCH they loved sharing!

In General

Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

Illness

We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your doctor. If you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and participate in the group.

Surgery

Surgeries are forbidden. As long as you are a member of this group you need all of your organs. You do not have the right to have anything removed. You joined this group in complete condition and removal of anything from your body is reason enough to have you removed.

Days-off

Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.

Vacation

All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are: Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

Being absent because of death in the family etc.

There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the group. For those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on, you can't do anything anyway.

In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can do the honors.

If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night when other members are sleeping.

Being absent for your own death

This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required to give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you from our membership list.

Using the Toilet

Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In the future, visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name starts with A, will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20. Those with the letter B from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those times, will have to wait until the next day.

In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but only with written permission from a moderator.

In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of the bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal, will automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open and your photo will be taken.

Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the form of a stationery,

and will be shown to the group via YouTube.

Lunchtime

Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a lot. For normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack. Heavier members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink and a diet pill.

I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do everything possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have any questions, comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning in general, please direct them elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with them.

Now post something!!

I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-)

Much love and respect to all,

Liane

One site keeps you connected to all your email: AOL Mail, Gmail, and Mail. The NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

This was hilarious... I actually realized something was wrong when I

reached the " Being absent for your own death " section... LOL Thanks

for making me laugh, I was having quite a " blue " day...

Love,

Angel

>

>

> Hello Family,

> I have been very concern about some members that are just absent from

> this Group,

> As a family we really enjoy each other's company and Therefore we get

> concern when you just disappear!

> Here the List:

> &

> Mark

> Sheila (Canada)

> Rhonda (Canada)

> Randy

>

> And many others.

> Please know that I am attaching the message below so you guys are

aware

> of our guidelines.

> I love you all,

> Liane

>

>

> This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval

> application, how MUCH they loved sharing! In General

>

>

> Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with

> Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

>

>

>

>

> Illness

> We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your doctor.

> If you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and

> participate in the group.

> Surgery

> Surgeries are forbidden. As long as you are a member of this group you

> need all of your organs. You do not have the right to have anything

> removed. You joined this group in complete condition and removal of

> anything from your body is reason enough to have you removed.

> Days-off

> Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.

>

> Vacation

>

>

> All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are:

> Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

>

> Being absent because of death in the family etc.

>

>

> There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the

> group. For those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on,

> you can't do anything anyway.

>

> In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can do the

> honors.

>

> If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night when

> other members are sleeping.

> Being absent for your own death

> This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required

> to give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you

> from our membership list.

>

>

> Using the Toilet

> Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In the future,

> visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name starts with

> A, will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20. Those with the

> letter B from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those

> times, will have to wait until the next day.

>

>

> In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but only

> with written permission from a moderator.

>

>

> In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of the

> bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal, will

> automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open and your

> photo will be taken.

>

>

> Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the form

> of a stationery,

>

> and will be shown to the group via YouTube.

>

> Lunchtime

>

> Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a lot.

> For normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack.

> Heavier members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink

> and a diet pill.

>

>

> I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do everything

> possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have any

> questions, comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning in

> general, please direct them elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with

> them.

>

> Now post something!!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-)

>

> Much love and respect to all,

> Liane

>

[Guest guest]

>

> From: lianeqrz_legey <butterflygris@...>

> Subject: [] Missing / absent Members: General

Guidelines

>

> Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 8:19 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  Hello Family,

> I have been very concern about some members that are just absent

from this Group,

> As a family we really enjoy each other's company and Therefore we

get concern when you just disappear!

>  Here the List:

> &

> Mark

> Sheila (Canada)

> Rhonda (Canada)

> Randy

>  

> And many others.

>  Please know that I am attaching the message below so you guys are

aware of our guidelines.

>  I love you all,

> Liane

>

>

>

> This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-

approval application, how MUCH they loved sharing!

> In General

>  

> Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly.  You can be seen

with Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

>  

>  

> Illness 

> We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your

doctor.   If you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC,

and participate in the group.

> Surgery 

> Surgeries are forbidden.  As long as you are a member of this group

you need all of your organs. You do not have the right to have

anything removed. You joined this group in complete condition and

removal of anything from your body is reason enough to have you

removed.

> Days-off 

> Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.

> Vacation

>

> All members will go on vacation at the same time.  Vacation days

are: Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

> Being absent because of death in the family etc.  

>

> There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the

group.  For those  friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed

on, you can't do anything anyway.

> In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can

do the honors.

> If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night

when other members are sleeping.

> Being absent for your own death 

> This is  reason enough for you to be absent.  However, you are

required to give us 2 weeks notice,  so we can put you on NO MAIL or

delete you from our membership list.

>  

> Using the Toilet 

> Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom.  In the

future, visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name

starts with A, will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20.

Those with the letter B from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't

go at those times, will have to wait until the next day.

>

> In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but

only with written permission from a moderator.

>

> In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of

the bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal,

will automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open

and your photo will be taken.

>

> Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the

form of a stationery,

> and will be shown to the group via YouTube.

>

> Lunchtime

>

> Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a

lot.  For normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie

snack. Heavier members get 5 minutes.  Just enough time to have a

diet drink and a diet pill.

>

> I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do

everything possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have

any questions, comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning

in general, please direct them elsewhere.  Our group can't be

burdened with them.

>

> Now post something!!

>

>  

>  

>  

> I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke?  Most of it ;-)

>  Much love and respect to all,

> Liane

>

>

>  

>