Life Lessons Learned from Emotions

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Life Lessons Learned from Emotions

by Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D., A.T.R.

Growing up, we're taught to judge and avoid certain emotions, such as

anger, sadness, fear, depression and confusion. Sometimes emotions are

forbidden based on gender: " big boys don't cry, " " anger isn't

ladylike. " Families differ and cultures differ, but they all have one

thing in common: certain emotions are frowned upon. Expressing these

emotions leads to ridicule, punishment or being shunned. For

survival's sake, we learn to deny certain sets of feelings. In losing

touch with our feelings, we lose touch with our true Selves.

Feelings are important for our physical survival and our mental and

emotional health. For example fear of traffic (which we learned as

children) alerts us to be cautious when crossing a busy street.

Grieving and expressing our deep sorrow over the death of a loved one

allows us to move on with our lives. Anger over abuse or injustice

helps us protect ourselves, others or natural resources. A group of

nature lovers in my community were angry at the thought of developers

destroying a precious piece of the central California coast for their

own profit. Our anger got translated into effective social and

political action. We organized and eventually got funding to purchase

the land and rescue it permanently from any development. The meadows,

seaside bluffs and forest in Cambria are now in public trust and are

there for all to enjoy. We learned that when anger is focused it can

provide the fuel for dedicated action toward a desired goal.

Emotions are simply energy. When they are in motion " E(nergy) +

motion " feelings move in and through us. Problems arise only when we

judge certain emotions as unacceptable. First we are taught to hide

those particular feelings from others. Then we numb ourselves and try

not to feel those emotions anymore. We end up using our body parts as

storage lockers for the emotions we don't want to feel. A problem we

are not facing becomes a " pain in the neck. " Extra and unnecessary

responsibilities we take on become chronic shoulder pain, as in

" carrying the weight of the world around on our shoulders. "

Visual journal keeping and expressive arts therapies are immensely

powerful tools for embracing emotions as healers and guides. The arts

are the language of feelings, dreams and all that is unconscious. If

we want to find out which emotions have been hiding out in the body,

the answers are as close as our hands. Take Pamela for instance. She

enrolled in my journal class thinking she would be studying creative

writing. She had some big surprises in store. I asked the students to

write a dialogue with a body part that was in pain or discomfort.

Pamela chose to converse with her sinus congestion, which she'd had

for thirty years, since age five. Using my technique, Pamela, the

adult, wrote with her dominant hand. Her sinus congestion printed with

her non-dominant hand (the hand we don't normally write with). When

she began writing, Pamela was surprised to discover her five year old

self " talking " to her on the page. Five years old! That was the age

Pamela was when her parents divorced and left her to be raised by her

grand parents. In doing this dialogue, Pamela remembered being told:

" be a brave little girl, don't cry. " She had obeyed and stuffed her

grief in the part of her body where her " tears lived " : her sinuses. In

class, Pamela shared her journal dialogue and told us that she had

seen scores of doctors and had medical treatment and numerous

medications with no lasting relief. While drawing and writing this

journal assignment at home, she said that thirty years of closeted

grief had poured out in tears. Afterward, she realized she had never

grieved the loss of her parents. After this deep emotional release her

sinus condition cleared up permanently.

In recent years science has corroborated my discoveries dating back to

the mid seventies when I was working with Pamela. Expressing emotions

has the power to heal. The research of Dr. Pennebaker and others

has shown that writing about a trauma or illness actually strengthens

the immune system and leads to fewer doctor's visits. That is why I

always recommend journal writing after any expressive arts activities,

regardless of the medium being used. Putting our insights into words

provides gives of practical guidance for everyday life.

Another example of lessons learned from emotions is Marsha. In an

expressive arts workshop she danced spontaneously, painted and drew

her feelings, journaled her insights. Since it was a non-threatening

atmosphere with no judgment, Marsha felt free to express whatever

feelings were coming up. While creating a clay figure of a woman she

began sobbing. She had recently undergone a hysterectomy. Working with

clay had brought to light a hidden grief: although was raising two

adopted children and two step-children, she would never give birth to

her own child. Releasing her emotions through this medium brought

closure, peace, and a newfound energy. After that she gave birth to a

new career and a new life.

We use graphic descriptions everyday to convey emotional states. We

speak of having " the blues, " of being " at the end of our rope. " We

refer to someone who " blew his top, " or was " red with rage. " It's

almost as if we are trying to paint word pictures of our moods. In

expressive arts therapies, when we draw, write, dance, sculpt and

dramatize emotions we match the medium to the mood. For example, clay

is a wonderful material for releasing anger. Pounding and punching the

clay allows us to celebrate our feelings and even be playful with

them. Scribbling with crayons can help us get in touch with any number

of emotions. The colors we choose and the kinds of strokes we make on

the paper reflect back our true feelings. Tearing and cutting up

pieces of paper for a collage can release feelings of fragmentation

and confusion. Watercolor and pastels often draw out feelings of

sadness. Artistic talent is not required, nor is any training in the

arts. We are not trying to make Art with a capital A. Nor are we

attempting to produce a pleasing product. Rather we are using art as a

vehicle for emotional expression. In so doing, we use many of the same

materials that pre-schoolers and kindergartners use.

Some people find that they can move their feelings out in spontaneous

body movement. Again, there is no structure, no " steps " to learn. Todd

attended a workshop where we did some movement therapy. He entered his

feelings of fear by curling up into a fetal ball. After embracing his

vulnerable, fearful self through movement, he allowed himself to

unfold until he was standing tall, with confidence in himself. Todd

told the group that as a boy he'd been terrified of showing weakness

and fear. He'd been called a " sissy " whenever he'd let that part of

himself show. After doing the movement expression, he realized that

allowing himself to " have the fear " actually made him feel stronger in

the long run. What a paradox! The body has its own inner wisdom and

will speak if we let it.

Others discover that spontaneous musical expression gives vent to

their unacknowledged emotions. Carlene bought a simple Mexican clay

flute and began expressing feelings of loneliness after her marriage

ended. She'd never studied music nor did she care to. She simply

discovered that the flute " gave voice to feelings that were deeply

buried, feelings she'd avoided through compulsive work, " as she put

it. In her journal, dialogues with loneliness led her to solitude and

a new sense of inner peace as a necessary balance to a busy

professional life. She also discovered a deeper spirituality through

contemplation and meditation. The arts are tangible creative outlets

for emotions wanting to be expressed. If we follow arts activities

with journal writing, we find deep insights and lessons for a more

fulfilling life. At this point, emotions become our teachers.

Feelings are guides on the spiritual path. Even young children seem to

know that the arts are healing. They scribble with crayons, pound on

clay, paint their feelings out, dance and play make-believe with

costumes and props as easily as they eat and sleep. Using the arts to

heal our feelings, we celebrate the emotional Inner Child and the

Artist Within. Talent and artistic skill are not required; this is not

about fine art. The goal is to explore many forms of creative

expression for the purpose of healing our emotional Selves, and have

fun doing it!

Lucia Capacchione Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D, A.T.R, is author of " The

Art of Emotional Healing: Over 60 Simple Exercises for Exploring

Emotions Through Drawing, Painting, Dancing, Writing, Sculpting and

More, " published by Shambhala, January, 2006.

She is a registered art therapist, artist and best-selling author of

13 books on healing and recovery through creative expression. Her

books, translated into many languages, include the bestsellers,

" Recovery of Your Inner Child " and " The Creative Journal, " as well as

" The Power of Your Other Hand " and " Visioning. " Dr. Capacchione

conducts workshops internationally and is director of the Creative

Journal Expressive Arts certification training for professionals. For

more information visit: www.LuciaC.com

Website address: www.luciac.com

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" Breathe deep, walk slow, hold tight to those you love, for the sun is

setting and it will be over so fast. "

-- Ken Pierpont

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