Giving back =D

[Guest guest]

Beloved Family, e-dads, e-mums, e-sisters and e-brothers

First of all, I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support and your emails. I'ld rather be overwhelmed by Love so, from my heart, THANK YOU ALL

I must say I really thought I'm becoming insane lately: had several "experiences" @ night that I just couldn't explain myself: some kind of sleep paralysis episodes during which I had the feeling something grabed my legs and draws me to the top, like a huge vacuum cleaner (very awckward feeling!!) , with sounds that no one else could hear like a hum in my ear, dizziness all day and so on..

Then yesterday, these tremors all day, this sadness overwhelming me...

Whatever

I'm writing you today to give a little something back. It nothing important, but I want to share this "coincidence" with you.

As I came home yesterday, after seeing my therapist and receiving all you messages, so full of Love & Compassion, I felt so peacefull inside and I thought to myself Im feeling the Love you sent to me.

Then I cooked something and put some olive oil in a frying pan and guess what happened?

A Heart appeared. The oil formed a huge heart in the middle of this pan and I had to laught about the sign I could barely ignore.

So yes, I got your messages on my email, and I got your messages of Love in a more direct way and it felt so great.

I understood something important yesterday:

I decided and choosed to live this life, to go throught these issues, in this body, here, and now.

I have a mission here, and I won't run away or cut myself off from my feelings.

I have a burden to cary and if I choose so, that's because my soul knows I'm capable to carry it.

So now, I'm gonna take each tear like a blessing, because I know this depression won't really go away for ever, I'll have some up's and some down's.

If I accept it, I'll be able to "hug" my pain and transform it in something positive.

Something I can give back.

I got lost yesterday and you gave me your hand. I'm blessed having you in my life.

I love you all so much.

Much Metta

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