Fw: A Little humor

[Guest guest]

40 YEARS AGO....

What a difference 40 years can make! This is Hilarious! The following

is from an actual 1950s Home Economics textbook intended for High

School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a

delicious meal -- on time. This is a way of letting him know that you

have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men

are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part

of the warm welcome needed.

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when

he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh

looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little

gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Make one last trip through the main part of the

house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys,

paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel

he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands

and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change

their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them

playing the part.

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of

washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Greet him with a warm smile and kiss, letting him know you're glad to see him.

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't

complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might

have gone through that day.

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or

suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for

him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low,

soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment

of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to

dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his

world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your

husband can relax.

**********************************************************

WELCOME TO 2000!

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes

too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like

to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappie

and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes into

something comfortable. Who cares if he likes it or not ... after all,

it's most likely he is in T-shirt and boxers.

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Yeah right! Tell the kids and your husband if they

want maid service, they better call one!

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch

television or play Nintendo.

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are

playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was gone. And

mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD player in the

first place.

6. SOME Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him

speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh

in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner,

simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the

dishes for him to do.

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's

cold. This will really show you care.

8. LISTEN TO HIM: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to

dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping

(use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase "Girls' Night Out!"

10. THE GOAL: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he

only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, it

revolves around you.

[Guest guest]

> >> > > >This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2

> >> > > >days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who > >> > > >will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. > >> > > > > >> > > >What happens when you predict snow but don't get any.... > >> > > > > >> > > >True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it > >> > > >was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the > >> > > >weatherman and asked "So Ken, where's that 7 inches > >> > > >you promised me last night?" > >> > > > > >> > > >Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the > >> > > >crew did too they were laughing so hard! > >> > > >

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