Re: I NEED YOUR HELP - Dear Johanna

[Guest guest]

Dearest Johanna,

I am so sorry I have been so absent. There are two of you out there that I think

of as e-daughters, you and Stefanie, and I feel terrible that I have been so

out of touch. Know that I love you and

that when I think of you, I can feel you out there.

I understand about your depression. I am speaking from personal experience. It is difficult to admit, but I am working

through it myself. Back in July, my

company reorganized and the entire upper management was let go by the parent

company. The economy here is not good

and finding a full-time job in this area (close to my children) is

difficult. I had hoped to stay here

through their college years. My

depression has been mitigated by the fact that Liane moved here so that we can

work closer to build Humanity Healing to where it is self-sufficient. We have been working 18 hours a day, and we

are making progress, but there is still so much to do. We have been burning through our savings

because we believe in the mission of Humanity Healing. In truth, I know that this is our Calling,

and I am not worried about myself – I am just worried about providing for my

children until they can take care of themselves.

One night I came very close. But I stepped back from the edge. We all have our Dark Night of the Soul.

I believe in you, Johanna. I have since our very first “meeting”. You are such a beautiful, vivacious and loving

soul; and I know there is so much in you to share and inspire. Your wings are still unfurling, but I KNOW

beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will, and you will be an angel to

others. Faith is something you just “know”

with your heart.

Many people have asked “why do bad things happen to good

people”? I believe that for some of us,

our souls have asked for the pain to come to us. In some instances, it is because we are more

capable of surviving it than others. In

other cases, it is so we can more truly understand and our capacity for

compassion increases.

You are an angelic soul, Johanna. We are here to serve. Liane and I made a video about Lighthouse

Wisdom. If you haven’t seen it, here is

the link:

Lighthouses are often put in dark and stormy places. It is to be a beacon for others. You are a lighthouse, dear one. Have faith that you will discover inside you

the way to light your beacon. I have

faith in you.

With my Love,

Much Metta,

Buck

From: Johanna Béchade <johanna_bechade@...>Subject: [] I NEED YOUR HELP Date: Thursday, December 18, 2008, 10:51 AM

Hello Liane and my beloved Soul Family members.

I need your assistance and your support…Please

I'm drowning.

Depression is an horrible disease, burning my soul down and I don't know what to do to fight against it.

I had some meds but I gained 20 kilos and had bad side effects, so I stopped them. I see a therapist but it's a hard work and I feel I dont have no strenght anymore.

Every day is a fight against the emotional pain. Wake up, take a shower, make up, dress, go to work, kill time, go back home, eat, sleep. And again, and again, and again.

And every minute of each day, there's this thing which tightens my chest, making it hard to breath, it's like I'm screaming inside but no sound comes out.

I'm very ashamed to open my heart this way here, I don't mean to annoy anyone but I'm losing the desire for living, every day a little more. And it's an awfull feeling.

My dreams seems so far away from me: become a therapist, help others... How can I do it if I'm not able to even help myself??

Reiki selftreatment doesnt reach me I feel so lost.

I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of complaining over myself, I'm tired of being so sensitive, I'm tired of hearing how it's amazing that I understand what people are going throught, I'm tired of fighting...

I'm aware some of you have "real" diseases, physical pain and more important problems to deal with. So I'm feeling very very guilty about my feelings right know, and about the thought I have when I'm alone at home late at night...

Please, make a tiny prayer for me to give me the strenght to achieve what I'm here for: Love, Give & Learn.

I love you much

Johanna

Téléphonez gratuitement à tous vos proches avec Windows Live Messenger ! Téléchargez-le maintenant !

[Guest guest]

Glorious

I

would be honored to share the gift of esoteric healing for you  if you chose.

Blessing

you with miracles and magnificence, for that is who you are,

Namaste

and hugs, Jacqui

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of C Buck

Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:16 PM

Subject: Re: [] I NEED YOUR HELP - Dear Johanna

Dearest Johanna,

I am so sorry I have been so absent. There are

two of you out there that I think of as e-daughters, you and Stefanie, and I

feel terrible that I have been so out of touch. Know that I love you

and that when I think of you, I can feel you out there.

I understand about your depression. I am speaking

from personal experience. It is difficult to admit, but I am working

through it myself. Back in July, my company reorganized and the entire

upper management was let go by the parent company. The economy here is

not good and finding a full-time job in this area (close to my children) is

difficult. I had hoped to stay here through their college years.

My depression has been mitigated by the fact that Liane moved here so that we

can work closer to build Humanity Healing to where it is self-sufficient.

We have been working 18 hours a day, and we are making progress, but there is

still so much to do. We have been burning through our savings because

we believe in the mission of Humanity Healing. In truth, I know that

this is our Calling, and I am not worried about myself – I am just worried

about providing for my children until they can take care of themselves.

One night I came very close. But I stepped back

from the edge. We all have our Dark Night of the Soul.

I believe in you, Johanna. I have since our very

first “meeting”. You are such a beautiful, vivacious and loving soul;

and I know there is so much in you to share and inspire. Your wings are

still unfurling, but I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will, and

you will be an angel to others. Faith is something you just “know” with

your heart.

Many people have asked “why do bad things happen to

good people”? I believe that for some of us, our souls have asked for

the pain to come to us. In some instances, it is because we are more

capable of surviving it than others. In other cases, it is so we can

more truly understand and our capacity for compassion increases.

You are an angelic soul, Johanna. We are here to

serve. Liane and I made a video about Lighthouse Wisdom. If you

haven’t seen it, here is the link:

Lighthouses are often put in dark and stormy

places. It is to be a beacon for others. You are a lighthouse,

dear one. Have faith that you will discover inside you the way to light

your beacon. I have faith in you.

With my Love,

Much Metta,

Buck

--- On Thu, 12/18/08, Johanna Béchade <johanna_bechade@...>

wrote:

From: Johanna Béchade

<johanna_bechade@...>

Subject: [] I NEED YOUR HELP

Date: Thursday, December 18, 2008, 10:51 AM

Hello Liane and my beloved

Soul Family members.

I need your assistance and your support…

Please

I'm drowning.

Depression is an horrible disease, burning my soul down and I don't know

what to do to fight against it.

I had some meds but I gained 20 kilos and had bad side effects, so I

stopped them. I see a therapist but it's a hard work and I feel I dont have

no strenght anymore.

Every day is a fight against the emotional pain. Wake up, take a shower,

make up, dress, go to work, kill time, go back home, eat, sleep. And again,

and again, and again.

And every minute of each day, there's this thing which tightens my

chest, making it hard to breath, it's like I'm screaming inside but no sound

comes out.

I'm very ashamed to open my heart this way here, I don't mean to annoy anyone

but I'm losing the desire for living, every day a little more. And it's an

awfull feeling.

My dreams seems so far away from me: become a therapist, help others... How

can I do it if I'm not able to even help myself??

Reiki selftreatment doesnt reach me I feel so lost.

I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of complaining over

myself, I'm tired of being so sensitive, I'm tired of hearing how it's

amazing that I understand what people are going throught, I'm tired of

fighting...

I'm aware some of you have " real " diseases, physical pain and more

important problems to deal with. So I'm feeling very very guilty about my

feelings right know, and about the thought I have when I'm alone at home late

at night...

Please, make a tiny prayer for me to give me the strenght to achieve what I'm

here for: Love, Give & Learn.

I love you much

Johanna

Téléphonez gratuitement à tous vos proches avec Windows

Live Messenger ! Téléchargez-le

maintenant !

[Guest guest]

Johanna and first of all I want to give you such a giant hug for coming out with your feelings here. I know that you don't always feel up to sharing what is really going on with you. I know you've been depressed and you and Liane have been going through quite the wild ride in the past...well, couple of years! LOL I respect you for sharing e-dad. Johanna sweetie I suffered from depression while I was growing up. I moved from house to house after my mother died. My dad was a drug addict and all I could do was hold on for the ride. There was a block of time I remember that I could not lift my head up to watch where I was walking because I didn't want to meet peoples eyes and I literally could not smile. Every smile was forced. When I was 14 I left my family and my best friend and her family took me in, and got me help for my depression. They took me to see psychologists and psychiatrists. In a matter of a couple of years I kicked my butt out of bed, shook the depression and graduated high school. I'm sharing this with you so you know that Depression is very very serious. It's not a made up condition, but it does take inner work. The thing that helped me was recognizing all the beautiful people in my life. And just the fact that I was alive and standing to have a chance at another day even if it was painful. Your life feels monotonous and pointless only because there is something missing. It's up to you to find out what that is, and what you need to do about it. Be gentle with yourself sweetie! You can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Forgive yourself for hating your life. Forgive yourself for being depressed. Forgive yourself for being sensitive and feeling like you're always on the outside. I feel that you're holding SO much guilt and you care very much about what others think. But remember how beautiful you are. Listen to your heart when you're in despair and your heart will guide you to the insights you need to shake the depression. Just trust yourself and you will start to understand. Make yourself walk with your head up and the world will look brighter. I love you sweetie, just know that. Contact me ANY time I don't care what time or day. I can give you my phone number too if you would like. xoxo-Stefanie> From: Johanna Béchade johanna_bechade@...> Subject: [] I NEED YOUR HELP> > Date: Thursday, December 18, 2008, 10:51 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hello Liane and my beloved Soul Family members.> > > > > > I need your assistance and your support…> Please> > > > I'm drowning.> > Depression is an horrible disease, burning my soul down and I don't know what to do to fight against it.> > I had some meds but I gained 20 kilos and had bad side effects, so I stopped them. I see a therapist but it's a hard work and I feel I dont have no strenght anymore.> > > > Every day is a fight against the emotional pain. Wake up, take a shower, make up, dress, go to work, kill time, go back home, eat, sleep. And again, and again, and again.> > And every minute of each day, there's this thing which tightens my chest, making it hard to breath, it's like I'm screaming inside but no sound comes out.> > > I'm very ashamed to open my heart this way here, I don't mean to annoy anyone but I'm losing the desire for living, every day a little more. And it's an awfull feeling.> > My dreams seems so far away from me: become a therapist, help others... How can I do it if I'm not able to even help myself??> > > > Reiki selftreatment doesnt reach me I feel so lost.> > I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of complaining over myself, I'm tired of being so sensitive, I'm tired of hearing how it's amazing that I understand what people are going throught, I'm tired of fighting...> > > > I'm aware some of you have "real" diseases, physical pain and more important problems to deal with. So I'm feeling very very guilty about my feelings right know, and about the thought I have when I'm alone at home late at night...> > > > Please, make a tiny prayer for me to give me the strenght to achieve what I'm here for: Love, Give & Learn.> > > > I love you much> > Johanna> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Téléphonez gratuitement à tous vos proches avec Windows Live Messenger ! Téléchargez-le maintenant !>