Needing Support

[Guest guest]

I would love to be able to have wrap around services, but I cannot even get Regional Center to take Hope on as a client, let alone try to figure out how to get other services. We are in the middle of due process over Hope's denial. Strangely enough, I spoke with the medical director, who said that if Molly's self help skills do not improve significantly I should apply for her when she turns 18 - and she has Aspergers go figure.vickie <blackfoot124@...> wrote: yes i have also my one sister thinks most of my 2 sons problems was cuz i didnt discipline them right ( beating their butts ) but yet my other 2 kids r okay and i raised them the same way. hmm go figure .lol well it is their narrow minds that make them this way ( the family and or others) they refuse to believe there can be something wrong why i dont know .my mom feels my kids would be okay if i took them off meds but yet before they even got on meds everyone noticed problems hmm .another sister said all i need to do is this or that and so forth (she has no kids) but yet i had a behavior specialist have trouble trying to figure out things that will work with my kids .u need support and u rnt getting it from family you cant make them understand ( it would be nice to try invite them to drs appts or therapies and so forth) but since it would be hard fnd support through other

avenues get wrap around services in the home a tss at home a behavior therapist family thereapy i am trying to get that for mine right now for like the 4 th time getting it i neeed a lot of help and i am a single mom with 4 kids 2 who r hfa and mr . good luck with ur kids .remember u can vent here and ask for help if we can help we will if not we will try to point u in the right direction to find help needing support Has anyone else ran into this

problem? My sister doesn't believe that my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his own rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic behaviors are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it gets ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I live in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic. That there is a whole "autism industry" that is profitting off of making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is something wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my son's autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having an autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that all

the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family. Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere. I'm just wondering if anyone else has faced this. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

BTW, my son is also on nose spray and allergy medicine. I'll look

into the phenols... never heard of that before. I hope we don't have

to qquit his allergy med, cause he sure does better (in terms of his

allergies) when he's on them.

>

> I am in the same boat as you when it comes to dealing with some

family. My hubby's family what's left of it does not have anything

to do with my one son with Aspergers but accepts the older son with

ADHD. About a 1.5 years ago my sister-in-law told me that what was

wrong with the younger one was demonic. Thank goodness we live 5.5

hours from them and don't see them often. I was very hurt by her

comment. The last 2 summers the younger son lives with my parents.

My dad who never had time for me as a child seems to think there is

nothing wrong with my son. My mom and I both realized they are very

much alike. I suppected when I got the diag. for my son that my dad

was also a aspie but was never diag. I have looked back at all the

men on my side of the family and all of them have traits. I also

have some of traits. I thought I was just shy as as child and I

still struggle with the social rules. I have never been diag.

either.

>

> My family accepts both my sons for who they are. My 10 year old

loves to go visit and stay a while. He does not care if hubby or I

are there. My husband only has a brother and sister left plus their

spouses and kids. Just last week his sister and I had a

conversation about the 10 year old. I told her I was hurt by what

the sister in law had said. She tried to defend her. I do know

this sister in law has to take her son back and forth to school as

he can't ride the bus. His dad hubby's brother is dsylestic but we

don't bring it up. I picked up on it when their dad died 16 months

after their mom. He had me read some insurance papers he had found

because he said he did not understand them. The truth was is that

he can't read. I never said a word. I could of been hatefull but

that would not of been right. I think their son has issues too but

they are in denial about them. My son is 20 minutes from them when

he is with my mom and dad. They don't even call him.

> This last summer they ran into hubby's sister in Walmart. SHe

said they would call him and have a cookout get together but never

did. I want to scream when they do that to him because he remembers

everything you tell him. He don't understand and so far has not

said anything about it but he is very smart and does not share

about how he feels. I have come to the conclusion that it is their

lost not to get to know our youngest son. When we do visit with his

side of the family we are both together and don't leave the kids

there alone.

>

> I would rather be open so my son gets the help he needs so that

he can be a productive adult later in life. We discovered this

summer when mom had him that even after his meds were stopped he was

still sleeping long hours. We started looking at his allergy shots

as that was all he was taking. Come to find out the shots contained

Phenol which when stopped my son came out to be a different person.

We are 6 months later now. He is doing things he would never of

done before. He ran a 5k race for education. Three years before he

acted like you were tourturing him to make him run for 2 minutes in

2nd grade gym class. His art teacher who had him for the last 3

years said he smiles now something else he never did before. We

looked back and the nose spray he had been on since he was 3.5 also

contained phenol. We don't know where he will be in 2 years from

now at the rate he is changing and doing things now.

>

> Jerri

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carolyn,

I'm glad to hear Marty is out of the hospitol. I'm still keeping you

all in my prayers. Thanks for your support, too!

>

> Hi needing support,

>

> I am sorry to hear about your sister not supporting you. I

never had a sister, only three brothers, but have noticed that lots

of times sisters do have problems. It is like she feels jealous of

you or something, doesn't want you to get attention, is in

competition with you, but I don't know, had no sisters.

>

> Anyway she is showing her ignorance I am afraid, doesn't the

girl ever read a book or watch television! There is just so much

information on autism these days, gee wizz. Guess all you can do is

forge ahead the best you can though, it sure must be tough when your

own family is a problem, but would suspect this is pretty common.

maybe the poor girl will develop over time....

>

> In our case, with our son Marty, his issues were severe enough

that there was no mistaking he had problems. He had seizures all the

time, and had to take drugs for them, so most of the time acted like

a zombie. He also had a cousin with problems, he was born with a

cleft palette, and became autistic after he had surgery for it,

don't know what came first though. His was pretty severe, he spent a

lot of time looking at his hands, and didn't give eye contact or

respond to people.

>

> With my son he always looked " normal, " as his disability

didn't develop until he was 2 years old, was fine till then, and had

nothing different about his looks. People had all sorts of opinions

when he was young as I recall, but I hardly had time to notice them,

had too much to do keeping track of him, and all his problems, and

my other three " normal " kids.

>

> Just got word Marty is coming home from the hospital today!

Whoopee! I talked to his doctor there, and she said he was doing

well, and would be discharged. Now if I can stay conscious enough to

finish the day with these three grandkids, and go over and get him

at about 3:00.

>

> I am telling you, four nights with very LITTLE sleep can sure

make a person feel TIRED!

>

> Keep writing sis, we are here for you, and your other sisters

will come around in time.

> Much love to you,

> Carolyn

>

>

> needing support

>

>

> Has anyone else ran into this problem? My sister doesn't believe

that

> my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his

own

> rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic

behaviors

> are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing

> pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it

gets

> ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I

live

> in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than

> anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER

> about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic.

> That there is a whole " autism industry " that is profitting off of

> making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is

something

> wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my

son's

> autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having

an

> autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that

all

> the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family.

> Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.

> I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would

> work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere.

I'm

> just wondering if anyone else has faced this.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carolyn,

I'm glad to hear Marty is out of the hospitol. I'm still keeping you

all in my prayers. Thanks for your support, too!

>

> Hi needing support,

>

> I am sorry to hear about your sister not supporting you. I

never had a sister, only three brothers, but have noticed that lots

of times sisters do have problems. It is like she feels jealous of

you or something, doesn't want you to get attention, is in

competition with you, but I don't know, had no sisters.

>

> Anyway she is showing her ignorance I am afraid, doesn't the

girl ever read a book or watch television! There is just so much

information on autism these days, gee wizz. Guess all you can do is

forge ahead the best you can though, it sure must be tough when your

own family is a problem, but would suspect this is pretty common.

maybe the poor girl will develop over time....

>

> In our case, with our son Marty, his issues were severe enough

that there was no mistaking he had problems. He had seizures all the

time, and had to take drugs for them, so most of the time acted like

a zombie. He also had a cousin with problems, he was born with a

cleft palette, and became autistic after he had surgery for it,

don't know what came first though. His was pretty severe, he spent a

lot of time looking at his hands, and didn't give eye contact or

respond to people.

>

> With my son he always looked " normal, " as his disability

didn't develop until he was 2 years old, was fine till then, and had

nothing different about his looks. People had all sorts of opinions

when he was young as I recall, but I hardly had time to notice them,

had too much to do keeping track of him, and all his problems, and

my other three " normal " kids.

>

> Just got word Marty is coming home from the hospital today!

Whoopee! I talked to his doctor there, and she said he was doing

well, and would be discharged. Now if I can stay conscious enough to

finish the day with these three grandkids, and go over and get him

at about 3:00.

>

> I am telling you, four nights with very LITTLE sleep can sure

make a person feel TIRED!

>

> Keep writing sis, we are here for you, and your other sisters

will come around in time.

> Much love to you,

> Carolyn

>

>

> needing support

>

>

> Has anyone else ran into this problem? My sister doesn't believe

that

> my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his

own

> rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic

behaviors

> are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing

> pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it

gets

> ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I

live

> in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than

> anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER

> about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic.

> That there is a whole " autism industry " that is profitting off of

> making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is

something

> wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my

son's

> autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having

an

> autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that

all

> the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family.

> Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.

> I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would

> work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere.

I'm

> just wondering if anyone else has faced this.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'll check out the blog. Thanks for the comforting words. BTW, I

noticed you sign yourself as " autistic jedi. " May I ask if you are

on the spectrum?

very sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know first

> hand how frustrating it can be to have your own family telling you

> that you are wrong and that they don't see your son as Autistic.

In

> fact, the feeling of being alone in the scary new world of Autism

is

> what drove me to create my blog site. Back in April I wrote a

couple

> of blogs about our experiences surrounding our son's diagnosis and

the

> reaction from family and friends.

>

> Please take a look at them, perhaps you might find them

helpfull... if

> at the very least in knowing that you are not alone.

>

> The story starts in " Let There Be Light! " and continues in " Let

There

> Be Light! Part II " . Both of these can be found at:

> http://www.autismdealwithit.org/2006_04_01_autieblog_archive.html

>

> I hope you enjoy my blog, but more importantly, I hope that your

> family will finally come around to reality. It has been 3 years

since

> our son was diagnosed and a few members of the family are finally

> starting to come around...

>

> the Autistic Jedi

> Blog: http://www.autismdealwithit.org

> Shop: http://www.autismdealwithit.com

>

[Guest guest]

it is strange the reactions people have my sister is a nurse and thin i just didnt disipline them as i posted be fore now my pastor has meade exceptions at my church for my kids they introduced quite bags for them to sit in the pews to be quiet with (lol hense the name ) they did a sticker chart for them to sit hrough service they have been plenty helpful the teacehrs also and stuff it was my family i had the most trouble with it is strnage though Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Friday, December 29, 2006 12:53:44 PMSubject: Re: Re: needing support

Isn't it strange? My mother in law is a nurse, and she has never said anything negative to me about my kids. She is taking Hope (age 6 autistic) for all this week... My sister in law frequently takes my severely adhd 10 year old and since she and her husband work (well she used to her husband still does) work at a group home for abused kids - has no problem with their dx's - my brother and my father both have issues with the dx but are not vocal about it - they are pretty cool - it has been friends and family friends and mostly complete strangers - teachers - people from our old church, pastors, etc etc that have given us the most grief.

Jen

Mom to Max 18 adhd/ld/sid/ Molly 15 AS, BP, OCD, PTSD, ADD/ SaraCait 10 severe adhd/possible mood disorder and Hope - 6 Autistic/ADHD (cannot medicate for)/GERDJerri Perrault <jerrip2001 (DOT) com> wrote:

I am in the same boat as you when it comes to dealing with some family. My hubby's family what's left of it does not have anything to do with my one son with Aspergers but accepts the older son with ADHD. About a 1.5 years ago my sister-in-law told me that what was wrong with the younger one was demonic. Thank goodness we live 5.5 hours from them and don't see them often. I was very hurt by her comment. The last 2 summers the younger son lives with my parents. My dad who never had time for me as a child seems to think there is nothing wrong with my son. My mom and I both realized they are very much alike. I suppected when I got the diag. for my son that my dad was also a aspie but was never diag. I have looked back at all the men on my side of the family and all of them have traits. I also have some of traits. I thought I was just shy as as child and I still struggle with the social rules. I have

never been diag. either.

My family accepts both my sons for who they are. My 10 year old loves to go visit and stay a while. He does not care if hubby or I are there. My husband only has a brother and sister left plus their spouses and kids. Just last week his sister and I had a conversation about the 10 year old. I told her I was hurt by what the sister in law had said. She tried to defend her. I do know this sister in law has to take her son back and forth to school as he can't ride the bus. His dad hubby's brother is dsylestic but we don't bring it up. I picked up on it when their dad died 16 months after their mom. He had me read some insurance papers he had found because he said he did not understand them. The truth was is that he can't read. I never said a word. I could of been hatefull but that would not of been right. I think their son has issues too but they are in denial about them. My son

is 20 minutes from them when he is with my mom and dad. They don't even call him. This last summer they ran into hubby's sister in Walmart. SHe said they would call him and have a cookout get together but never did. I want to scream when they do that to him because he remembers everything you tell him. He don't understand and so far has not said anything about it but he is very smart and does not share about how he feels. I have come to the conclusion that it is their lost not to get to know our youngest son. When we do visit with his side of the family we are both together and don't leave the kids there alone.

I would rather be open so my son gets the help he needs so that he can be a productive adult later in life. We discovered this summer when mom had him that even after his meds were stopped he was still sleeping long hours. We started looking at his allergy shots as that was all he was taking. Come to find out the shots contained Phenol which when stopped my son came out to be a different person. We are 6 months later now. He is doing things he would never of done before. He ran a 5k race for education. Three years before he acted like you were tourturing him to make him run for 2 minutes in 2nd grade gym class. His art teacher who had him for the last 3 years said he smiles now something else he never did before. We looked back and the nose spray he had been on since he was 3.5 also contained phenol. We don't know where he will be in 2 years from now at the rate he is changing and doing things now.

Jerri

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

[Guest guest]

I didn't write this...

Theresa

On Dec 28, 2006, at 3:20 PM, English wrote:

>

>

> Theresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote:

>

>

> Let's see, I to have family that doesn't really think something is

> wrong with Zachary. I think my problem is that we can't get him DX

> yet. The doctor said that he was on the high to probabilities

> range. The school here has worked with that. We have Z in a Pre-K

> class for child that have delays. They have also worked with us in

> getting Z an IEP set up(thank GOD).

>

> Anyway at this time we are living with my in-laws, and my mother-in-

> law refused to believe that something was wrong with him until I

> told her that he scored a 92 on the GADS. I think she is opening

> up to the fact that something is wrong, but she doesn't seem to

> think that should interfear with his behavior. Z has a very short

> temper and gets angry very easily. He doesn't like to follow

> directions from anyone and loves to tell everyone NO!!(if anyone

> can help with this please do).

>

> I think that unless it is a child you are with everyday that

> sometimes people just can't tell and that it could be something

> that they are scared of because it is unknown to them. Sometimes

> people,yes even adults, are to ,excuse me, stupid, to read up on or

> study something new to them.

>

> Ok I guess I have rattled enough for now. My sweet children and

> hubby are in the other room waiting for supper..hehehehe. Hope all

> of you can get the support you need.

>

> May God Bless You And Keep You All

> ,OKC,OK

>

>

>

> On Dec 27, 2006, at 1:21 PM, nighthockey27 wrote:

>

> > Has anyone else ran into this problem? My sister doesn't believe

> that

> > my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his

> own

> > rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic behaviors

> > are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing

> > pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it

> gets

> > ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I

> live

> > in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than

> > anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER

> > about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic.

> > That there is a whole " autism industry " that is profitting off of

> > making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is

> something

> > wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my

> son's

> > autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having an

> > autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that all

> > the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family.

> > Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.

> > I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would

> > work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere.

> I'm

> > just wondering if anyone else has faced this.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/31/2006 1:17:30 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, nighthockey27@... writes:

Wow! Thanks for sharing your experiences.BTW, my son is also on nose spray and allergy medicine. I'll look into the phenols... never heard of that before. I hope we don't have to qquit his allergy med, cause he sure does better (in terms of his allergies) when he's on them.

Nose spray as in nose drops? I believe they have mercury in them. I would check it out.

[Guest guest]

No I wrote this. Sorry, dont know how that happened. Happy New Year's Everyone May God Bless You and Keep You All Theresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote: I didn't write

this...TheresaOn Dec 28, 2006, at 3:20 PM, English wrote:>>> Theresa Mesa <clanmesaearthlink (DOT) net> wrote:>>> Let's see, I to have family that doesn't really think something is > wrong with Zachary. I think my problem is that we can't get him DX > yet. The doctor said that he was on the high to probabilities > range. The school here has worked with that. We have Z in a Pre-K > class for child that have delays. They have also worked with us in > getting Z an IEP set up(thank GOD).>> Anyway at this time we are living with my in-laws, and my mother-in- > law refused to believe that something was wrong with him until I > told her that he scored a 92 on the GADS. I think she is opening > up to the fact that something is wrong, but she doesn't seem to > think that should interfear

with his behavior. Z has a very short > temper and gets angry very easily. He doesn't like to follow > directions from anyone and loves to tell everyone NO!!(if anyone > can help with this please do).>> I think that unless it is a child you are with everyday that > sometimes people just can't tell and that it could be something > that they are scared of because it is unknown to them. Sometimes > people,yes even adults, are to ,excuse me, stupid, to read up on or > study something new to them.>> Ok I guess I have rattled enough for now. My sweet children and > hubby are in the other room waiting for supper..hehehehe. Hope all > of you can get the support you need.>> May God Bless You And Keep You All> ,OKC,OK>>>> On Dec 27, 2006, at 1:21 PM, nighthockey27 wrote:>> > Has anyone else ran into this problem? My sister

doesn't believe > that> > my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his > own> > rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic behaviors> > are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing> > pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it > gets> > ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I > live> > in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than> > anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER> > about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic.> > That there is a whole "autism industry" that is profitting off of> > making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is > something> > wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my > son's> >

autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having an> > autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that all> > the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family.> > Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.> > I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would> > work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere. > I'm> > just wondering if anyone else has faced this.> >>>> I love a child with Aspergers Please, read, learn, and love KELLY __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

YES and YES!!! Face it constantly from family, friends, even my boyfriend! I have had that one out with him though and he is working very hard on it. My mother and sister and the extended family all have said the same or at least similar things over time as well as my dd's dad and stepmom which makes it even harder to deal with since they have to support the meds etc when she is there! I have finally gotten it across to them. (her at least and she is the primary one doing parenting there so that works.) And it has become somewhat easier as she has gotten older and it has become more "obvious" how different she is from others her own age behaviorally. I actually moved partway across the state from most of my family to be close to two of my best friends who knew and understood as well as anyone who doesn't go through it directly can and offered to help me with the kiddos since I am a single mom. I just refused to acknowledge their opinions and emailed my sis and mom

basic info on AS, HFA, etc and sites to read more and over time, they have become more accepting if not fully on board with me. I chose to be with those who supported me and my children. As the saying goes "true friends are the family you choose for yourself!" I know everyone doesn't have that option, but it is what I did. Along with seeking support from wonderful people here who DO understand and DO know what I am going through and let me know I am not crazy. (ok, let's be realistic, maybe I am crazy but I am not imagining the AS! LOL) It is a very difficult road, you will be in my prayers. Remember we are here for you! God bless! DeeDee mom of Aslynne 16 nt, Elissa 13 AS, ADHD, ODD and bi polar disorder Tynan 7, PDD nosnighthockey27 <nighthockey27@...> wrote: Has anyone else ran into this problem? My sister doesn't believe that my son is autistic. She believes that every child develops at his own rate. She believes he'll catch up. She thinks his autistic behaviors are a result of my poor parenting. (Nice!) Anyway, I was dealing pretty well with our differences of opinion, but here is where it gets ugly. My sister and the rest of my family live in the Bay Area. I live in southern California. My sister sees my son much more often than anyone else in the family. My other sister and parents all ask HER about him. She tells them that he is fine. That he isn't autistic.

That there is a whole "autism industry" that is profitting off of making stupid parents (such as myself) believe that there is something wrong with their kids. Now my whole family is convinced that my son's autism is all in his head. It really sucks for me because having an autistic child is such an isolating experience. You add to that all the stress and worry. I REALLY REALLY need support from my family. Because of this one sister, I'm not getting any.I'm not looking for any solutions- as I don't think anything would work. I want to come to an acceptance and find support elsewhere. I'm just wondering if anyone else has faced this. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi ,

>

> I'll check out the blog. Thanks for the comforting words. BTW, I

> noticed you sign yourself as " autistic jedi. " May I ask if you are

> on the spectrum?

>

>

>

Yes, I am Autistic as well. It is sad, but getting my family to

accept my son's diagnosis is actually easy in comparison to their

realization that I am also Autistic. For my parents, I think there is

some guilt for their not seeing it... in their defense, the idea of

what is Autism 25+ years ago is very different to today's understanding.

the Autistic Jedi

Blog: http://www.autismdealwithit.org

Shop: http://www.autismdealwithit.com

[Guest guest]

Lana, I know I am behind but had to tell you at this time of the am with only 5 hours of sleep, your last bit there about reproducing asexually, gave me a good chuckle! I agree with what you are saying totally! God bless! DeeDeeLana Gibbons <lana.m.gibbons@...> wrote: Sounds like something caused by NT logic. *sighs* If only the rest of the world thought like Aspies...Too many people freak out when there's something genetic in their pond. Knowing where the problems are is half the

battle - but they'd rather suffer than admit there could be something "wrong" with them (or those related to them). In dogs where it is common place to try to "better the breed" by selectively excluding bad genetics, people still prefer to stick their heads in the sand than jeopardize their "reputation" by being honest and truthful. (Yeah, doesn't make sense to me either.)They're all obsessed with being in the same mold. It is so frustrating to see so much individuality being trimmed off in order to clone what is mainstream. Heck, the whole concept of wanting to be "normal" is just plain stupid. I mean, if we were all meant to be the same, wouldn't we produce asexually?-Lana __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi, Cami - welcome!

Restriction is funny. (put nicely):-)

It depends a lot on food choices. the band works primarily with solid

foods, and best with meats/chicken/fish.

Softer things like quesedillas , with no meat, will not provide much

restriction. Still, we cannot eat meat all the time! So we do have to

self-restrict sometimes.

a good test meal to see how restriction really is :

3-4 oz solid meat/chicken/fish. high quality in anice sauce, and 1/2

cup of veggies. We should be able to eat this, with the needed PEA-

sized bites and very thorugh chewing. this should satisfy us wih

about a cup of food, and keep us physically satisfied for 3-4 hrs.

I know some docs want only 1/2 cup meals, but I disagree with this,

and most BAND docs do as well. the ones who want these tiny amounts

are mostly bypass docs.

The band pouch needs about 1 cup to gently expand the pouch and

trigger the nerves at the top that tell us we are " full. "

We also need about 1-cup meals, 3 meals a day, plus 1-2 planned,

healthy snacks, to meet the minimum calorie needs of 1200-1500 cal a

day, and to meet he minimum fiber, protein, good carb, etc needs for

health. we are not simply trying to lose weight, but to regain our

health too.

tiny meals just do not provide enough calories or nutrients to lose

slowly, safely, or in a way that will not come right back. We are

never trying to eat as little as possible. we must eat enough to meet

nutrition needs and satisfy us, or we turn to easy and high-calorie

foods and just do not lose then.

Please see the " Band Guide " in the files or more on food choices,

eating techniques, med safety issues, and more basic info.

Your fill in this band is about average - you may need more, or this

my be good for now, with good band meals. Try the solid protein test

above to see. One of the band guidelines is to eat solid protein

first, but again, we can't eat meat every sigle meal!Since veryone is

very individual with fill needs, there is no way to tell until you

GET a fll. the average person needs 3-5 fills, a month apart, to

creep up slowly an safely to a good level. then, a we lose, we'll

need more fill peiodically.

Your exercise sounds great - good for you! and you're doing both

cardio and weights, which is ideal. but using up these many calories

will really require you to eat much more, or you will be well into

starvation mode and will not lose well - if at all. with this good

exercsie, you need at least 1500-1800 cal or so a day, and attention

to meeting the 50-60 gm of protein daily, on average. Also, remember

that wuith this excellent exercise, ou will b losig fat but gaining a

bit of GOOD muscle, and this will seem to negate a bit of scale loss.

but this good musckle is essential to burning fat more efficiently,

24/7 - so is well worth it.

we will never lose at a steady rate, i'm afraid, so we can't expect

that. the body will take regular breaks to rest and comopact- losing

is hard work! The rest periods can be 2-3 weeks long, and it can b

frustrating - but remember, every day of better exercsie and better

eating is a day of success, even if the scale is notmoving much

temporarily.

If we have has no weight loss for 3-4 weeks in a row, then it is time

to re-evaluate things, and possibly get more fill. please see the

Fill documents in the files here for the " Fills - when do I need

more? " for some good info.

Glad you're here, Cami! We're all in this together!

sandy r

band educator

at goal 4.75 yrs

>

> Hello Fellow Bandsters,

> I was banded on July 31st. I have had two fills so far. I have

6.6

> in a 10 band. I have noticed restriction if I try to eat doughy

bread

> but I can still eat everything else with no problem. I am not so

> concerned about feeling stuck as I understand what I can't eat now.

> However, I don't feel full fast. It bums me out! Tonight I had made

> dinner for my family and my husband asked (nicely) Can you eat all

> that? I told him I wasn't sure but if I felt full I wouldn't be

> finishing it. I had made vegetable quesidillas (small size

tortilla)

> and did eat 3/4 of it. I know that is more than 1/2 cup of food but

I

> really could have eaten the other piece. I would have thought

having

> this much filled I would have felt fuller faster. Am I just being

> unrealistic? I am thinking about calling for another fill. I

worked

> out 4 times this week (45 minutes on the tread mill 4x and weights

> 2x) and no weight loss.

> I had already commited to excercise and just needed something to

help

> me with the food portion. I self paid for this surgery with the

> hopes that this would be the tool.

> I lost 17 lbs before the band on the pre diet and have lost 11 lbs

> since surgery. No loss for the last 10 days.

>

> What should I be expecting at this point?

>

> Thanks,

> Simply Cami

>

[Guest guest]

an observation: 4 oz of food will be between 1/2 cup to 1 1/2 cups,

depending on the density of the food. Best way to know what you're

getting is to weigh your portions to make sure you are not getting too

much, but also to make sure you're getting enough. That's the only way

to know whether you are satisfied on a bandster portion, and can remain

satisfied for 4-5 hours until the next meal. Since you already have 6

in a 10 band, seems like quite a bit, not sure if getting really tight

is a good answer either... just because you can get doughy foods down

doesn't mean it's a good idea to eat them. If all other things are

comfortable at this fill level, you can choose to not eat doughy foods,

rather than making the band too tight to force you not to eat them.

Lastly, if all you had was veggies and tortilla, it doesn't seem like

something that will hold you long enough, maybe a little protein in

there as well would help, and make sure it's 4 oz so you're getting

enough. Just a thought...

Sandy in FLorida

>

> However, I don't feel full fast. It bums me out! Tonight I had made

> dinner for my family and my husband asked (nicely) Can you eat all

> that? I told him I wasn't sure but if I felt full I wouldn't be

> finishing it. I had made vegetable quesidillas (small size tortilla)

> and did eat 3/4 of it. I know that is more than 1/2 cup of food but

[Guest guest]

Oops, I guess I should have waited for SAndy's response, she said the

same basic things...

Sandy in FLorida

>

> Hi, Cami - welcome!

>

> Restriction is funny. (put nicely):-)

>

> It depends a lot on food choices. the band works primarily with

solid

> foods, and best with meats/chicken/fish.

>

> Softer things like quesedillas , with no meat, will not provide

much

> restriction. Still, we cannot eat meat all the time! So we do have

to

> self-restrict sometimes.

>

> a good test meal to see how restriction really is :

>

> 3-4 oz solid meat/chicken/fish. high quality in anice sauce, and

1/2

> cup of veggies. We should be able to eat this, with the needed PEA-

> sized bites and very thorugh chewing. this should satisfy us wih

> about a cup of food, and keep us physically satisfied for 3-4 hrs.

>

> I know some docs want only 1/2 cup meals, but I disagree with this,

> and most BAND docs do as well. the ones who want these tiny amounts

> are mostly bypass docs.

[Guest guest]

All thoughts and ideas are always welcome here, agreeing with others

or not! There are lots of ways to do well, and i'm surely not always

right! Lord knows I have made plenty of band goofs...

sandy r

> >

> > Hi, Cami - welcome!

> >

> > Restriction is funny. (put nicely):-)

> >

> > It depends a lot on food choices. the band works primarily with

> solid

> > foods, and best with meats/chicken/fish.

> >

> > Softer things like quesedillas , with no meat, will not provide

> much

> > restriction. Still, we cannot eat meat all the time! So we do

have

> to

> > self-restrict sometimes.

> >

> > a good test meal to see how restriction really is :

> >

> > 3-4 oz solid meat/chicken/fish. high quality in anice sauce, and

> 1/2

> > cup of veggies. We should be able to eat this, with the needed

PEA-

> > sized bites and very thorugh chewing. this should satisfy us wih

> > about a cup of food, and keep us physically satisfied for 3-4 hrs.

> >

> > I know some docs want only 1/2 cup meals, but I disagree with

this,

> > and most BAND docs do as well. the ones who want these tiny

amounts

> > are mostly bypass docs.

>

[Guest guest]

I need to find a new job.

I had surgery back in Sept and ever since then I have changed on a spiritual level so now I am no longer fitting in where I work.

I could use some suppose and help now.

Thank you,

Jill

From: Zany Mystic <zanymystic@...>Awakening Cosmic Consciousness <AwakeningCosmicConsciousness >Cc: <groups>Sent: Monday, April 27, 2009 10:38:14 AMSubject: [] COSMIC LIGHTHOUSE Issue 20 - April 2009

Lots of great articles!

http://www.cosmicli ghthouse. com/apr09