The Emotion of Spring: Anger and How to Manage It

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The Emotion of Spring: Anger and How to Manage It

Anger is the feeling we experience when events in our world are not

going according to our plans. Anger is one of the most common and

destructive delusions affecting our minds. Because it is based on an

exaggeration, anger is an expression of our belief system and how we

defend it. It's as if we have an inner idea of how things, events and

people should be for us. When we get angry and either feel frustrated

or try to change them, we tend to give away our power! Many of us

remain a victim to our tempers all of our lives. In essence, anger is

the feeling we get when we want to control the world around us.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, anger is most prevalent in the

Spring. It is considered the emotion of Spring. Although we can and

do experience anger at any time or season, it is Spring when we are

most easily angered. This is believed to be due to the changes of

light and dark and the balance between them.

It is very important to identify the actual cause of whatever

unhappiness we feel. If we are forever blaming our difficulties on

others, this is a sure sign that there are still many problems and

faults within our own mind. If we were truly peaceful inside and had

our mind under control, difficult people or circumstances would not

be able to disturb this peace, and so we would feel no compulsion to

blame anyone or regard them as our enemy. To someone who has subdued

his or her mind and eradicated the last trace of anger, all beings

are friends.

Techniques for Managing Anger

1. The first step towards managing anger, is to identify which

attitudes and convictions that many predispose us to being

excessively angry in the first place! Once these beliefs have been

identified, it is important to take steps to understand and correct

them, if need be.

2. The second step is to realize that anger is a natural human

emotion and it is not the emotion of anger that tends to be a

problem. The problem is the mismanagement of our anger. Mismanaged

anger and rage are the major cause of conflicts in our lives. This

mismanagement often has roots from our childhood that prevents us

from expressing our anger as appropriately as we should. These

factors include fear, denial, ignorance and impatience. These factors

can derail the appropriate management of our anger towards others.

Learning to understand and change these factors in ourselves, will

allow us to express our suppressed anger in a more appropriate way.

3. The third step is learning the appropriate ways of expressing

our " honest and legitimate " anger at others so that we can begin to

cope more effectively with anger provoking situations as they come up

in our lives. When we are anxious or depressed, we are often

experiencing the consequences of our suppressed anger. The problem is

that we have suppressed our anger so deeply that we succeeded in

concealing it from our own selves! All we are left with is the

residual evidence of it, our anxiety or our depression. When we are

depressed, very often we are also angry at ourselves without

realizing it. Learning to appropriately manage our anger at ourselves

is the antidote to much of alcoholism, drugs and sexual abuse.

4. The fourth step in the Anger Management process is to approach

anger by taking responsibility for our own reactions and behavior. We

can do this by addressing our anger with the following coping

techniques:

1. Listen to other people, first: listen carefully to what is being

said. Do not have a preconceived opinion before you hear what is

being said. Remember, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

2. Think carefully about what you want to say: before you say it.

slow down. What is the underlying factor in your anger? Fear, denial,

impatience?

3. Be clear about what you are going to express.: Your objective is

not to belittle, berate, be sarcastic or attack someone, because

their opinion is different than yours.

4. If their statement is pushing your anger button: know why! Try to

understand the root of your own anger. Look at why they have formed

such an opinion.

5. Express yourself by saying: " I feel angry with (you, them, this

situation) because... " Stay calm in the face of your own and the

other person's anger. The worse thing to do if someone is angry

toward you is to shout back at them! Be patient and ask questions to

get to the heart of problem. Try being carefully assertive, rather

than aggressive.

6. Make lifestyle changes. Making small changes in your life can

allow you to reap great rewards.

7. Get regular exercise: This can help to prevent the accumulation of

tension and will give you regular time away from everyday stress.

8. Learn relaxation exercises such as yoga and meditation. These

forms of exercise will help to release tension in a controlled,

healthy way.

9. Change your environment. Find alternatives for situations which

add stress to your life. Schedule time to relax and unwind.

10. Learn to express your feelings: either by talking to a friend or

by venting feelings in other ways, perhaps creatively through

painting, journaling or taking on a new hobby.

Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac.

http://www.peacefulmind.com/spring.htm

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