Lesson from Colleen-Joy

[Guest guest]

There are several areas this special lesson presents to us. One of the key ones is differientating between trying and being. Trying to be loving and being loving are two different things. Often times we do find ourselves struggling to be what we feel we are not and/or wanting to achieve yet always seem to be just short of reaching that goal. It can be very frustrating to say the least.

Life does find a way to communicate with us on all levels, in all aspects. Irrespective of what we are experiencing, such as the example of golf being given by Colleen-Joy, we find ourselves in a place where insights, clarity, and wisdom can and will take root.

This brings to my mind some of the experiences I gained early on within my spiritual reawakening. I took Twyman's Spoonbender Course and there was much that I learned to apply within my life. One key note from that Course was a very special message Twyman gave to all that go through this Course. Chiefly, that the purpose of the Course was not to bend a spoon. He stated that if when completing the Course we have personally gained the precepts that are integral within there to apply within our lives yet we never bent a spoon even a fraction of an inch we came through succesfully.

At each phase the main aspect of each exercise was that we were to picture, to visualize clearly within ourselves, the spoon bent. When we see this with our inner sight as we open our physical eyes he strongly urges for our not to look at the spoon right away. The purpose being not to see if the spoon was physically bent. Rather that the spoon bent succesfully within our inner Sight. There is where the first aspects of growing within our abilities, of not only how miracles can come to pass but also how we become a Living Miracle. At least for myself that is one particular lesson that I learned.

With that instead of our trying to be patient, to be caring, to be loving let us focus within our Selfs first and foremost, When we can visualize our already being patient, caring and loving (or whatever it is that we have tried to manifest) we enter that State of Being. We are Loving and should we hold to that, flow with those energies and visualizations, this state of Being will soon bear fruit outwardly as well as inwardly. Being confident that we already are what it is we wanted to achieve is the seed taking root and flourishing. As with plants we do not see the roots itself as they are buried in the ground yet we do see the fruit of the root as the stem, the branches, the leafs, etc all bear fruit that we do see. My little contribution that I see as very well can be apart of the very aspect of this lesson between trying and Being. Namaste

Dear Friends

I'm sorry for the absence of late. Life has kept me very busy. It's good to connect again.

I sit here at my laptop, considering what to share with you. There is always so much that I could say. This e-mail will go to many, but know that I focus on that it reaches you and I hold that in my attention so that I write from the heart considering you as an individual.

Life is always teaching us, sometimes in the most unexpected ways, so I thought today I'd share a simple analogy which I was reminded of yesterday. My children, husband and I went to the driving range to practise golf (yes golf). I have only attempted to play golf a few times (realizing quickly that it is a most humbling sport). Consider this insight and how it will support you in your life.

Standing with a golf club in my hands, ready to try hit a little white ball onto a small grass island surrounded by water about 140 meters ahead, remembering that over the last 4 years I had come here occasionally, to practise golf at a driving range near my home, try as I might I have never reached the island. I have smashed, cursed and focused, but that little ball has never landed on the island.

Do you have anything in your life that seems as hard to reach, that you try and try, but miss?

In fact just think about your life and all the parts of your life, relationships, work, finances, spirituality, etc and ask yourself "Where am I TRYING?" Where does it feel like you are pushing away from one thing to get something else? Like pushing water uphill.

The word trying is very revealing. Trying to be loving, is different from being loving. Trying to be patient is not being patient. "Trying" tells at that we are at war! Yes, that we are at war with something that is.

The war robs us, not the thing we are at war with. If you are trying to be patient, but feel impatient, your war is with impatience. Impatience is not stealing something from you, your war with impatience is. Accept your impatience, let yourself be human. Give all of you a place and you will be free. TRY to not feel "it" (whatever it is for you) and you will lose yourself.

I've lived this as a truth for a while, but was most surprised to notice yesterday that it helped me hit a little white ball.

I can't call myself a golfer, because as yet every attempt of mine to play golf has not looked at all like golf. 1 shot out of a dozen looks like it wants to be golf, but most are "humbling" to say the least. It intrigued me that I can stand on a stage in front of an audience of 700 (and have) with calm purpose and skill, but on a tee in front of a bunch of golfers I feel dread and I want to climb into the hole we are all aiming for and disappear.

If you are surprised to hear me talking about golf, so am I. But I have recognized that we can learn deep spiritual and personal growth lessons from any aspect of life if we look and are open to it. Hospitals have taught me so much, so why not golf?

Golf forces you (if you are paying attention) to notice the role of your mind and how quickly we can lose the "flow" and natural ease of the body's wisdom and skill. We lose this to the war of MENTAL "trying". You see, like in life, your body has so much wisdom and intelligence. You don't have to think about healing, breathing and growing cells, your body's wisdom does that all for you. So when you learn a new skill, like golf, or driving a car, or playing guitar – after a certain amount of training, your body just "knows" how. If you from that moment let your mind try to drive, or strum or hit the ball – it goes wrong. Your mind can't play golf, your mind can't play life either. Only your body can. So if you sink your awareness into your body and let it do what it knows how to do, magic happens. Your body has grace, it has deep intuitive rhythm, balance and power.

Once you have learned how to hold the club, how to stand and how to move your body – your body has grooved the learning. Just like it does when learning to drive a car, ride a bike, play guitar etc. It takes time and practise but the moment you don't have to think about it and can just do it – that's the moment when your body has the new skill in its bones. Now the mind has finished its job – its job was to take the knowledge and hold a framework for learning.

The driving range is busy but it's a peaceful place. We find a few empty tees and look out at the expanse of grass ahead, dotted with thousands of white balls and in the distance a few colour flags to help us mark our distances. About 140 metres out is the little island, with a moat of water around. This is the most appealing of targets, to try and get your ball that far. And it's the one my ball can't get to despite all my trying.

Watching my daughters hitting balls and teaching their bodies something new – all great fun. So I put a ball down and begin to practice. Now you must know that I usually only get 1 out of every few shots to look like "golf", but most of the time I hit the ball badly (it rolls along the ground, I miss it all together, I hit it but it doesn't go very far or it's not straight). When I hit it well I get excited, my mind says OK maybe I've got it now, then wham "not!" as the next shot is usually a dud. But this time I've decided to experiment with something I use in my life. It's a little technique that I teach in all my courses and, my gosh, it even works for golf. It's how I help my mind to not go to war, and to end the "trying" game. So try it out for your life, it takes practise but it's worth it.

Take a breath. And imagine that you can feel your body, sense it. Not visualizing, but feelings, emotions and sensations. Feel your skin, feel and sense your stomach area (that's how you would know if you were hungry or not, afraid or not). Take your awareness to the centre of your body. Notice the subtle or strong shift in the way your body feels as you do this. Compare it to holding your attention in your head. It's subtle (not Hollywood) but is very, very helpful to learn to do. I used to place my hand on my stomach to remind myself to go there. It keeps me centred, it plugs me into intuition, it's a great stress buster and I can be more connected to life from there. In my head I feel the mind strongly and this is not helpful as the mind is like a little mouse running on a wheel - going fast

and getting nowhere.

When I used to do karate it was the same, if you focus your awareness into your body instead of into your head, you gained strength, time slows a little and you move with greater ease and skill. Notice in the day, that when you are most natural, most at peace, most happy you will be in your centre. When you are stressed or disconnected you will be in your head. So instead of letting it happen unconsciously, move yourself to your centre consciously.

So I tried it. I heard all the noises around me, dozens of people hitting their golf balls, my children talking, I acknowledged my mind's endless talking – it's wanting to smash the ball and be as good as the men, it's not wanting to look like an idiot, hoping not to miss the ball entirely (which I have done soooo many times). And now just to notice the mind, letting it talk, letting it compare and complain, hope and push. Then gently directing my attention and my awareness to the centre of my body, to the heart and stomach area (which I teach to our coaches as a coaching communication technique, to businessmen and women as a professional speaking technique) and now here I am trying it with golf on a driving range.

I feel for my centre and then pretend that I can also sense the ball, feel it over there lying on the ground. I let go and let my body move – my arms pull back without the thought that they should. And then they release back down to strike. I hear the "ping" that the ball makes when you hit it well, and feel the little current of impact run through my arms as I complete and my arms rise. I now look and see my ball flying straight and true, up. Then so far as my eyes strain to see, there it lands for the first time on the island. Yesterday I finally put several golf balls on the island; and reminded myself that universal truth will help us in any aspect of our life, even golf.

Colleen-Joy

Founder ILS InnerLifeSkillsTM and ILSAEmpowering you to Empower others

Tel: (+27 11) 469 1881 Fax: (+27) 088 011 469 1881

www.colleen-joy.com

www.ilslifecoachtraining.com

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