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Hi Everyone,

I have been receiving this mail for about two weeks now, and enjoy so much

reading your letters, and this is the first time, I have told you all about

myself, and what the MGB has done for me.

My name is Kate, and I live in Louisburg, North Carolina. I am 57 years old,

and feel 25 most of the time. My birthday is Jan 15 (a Capricorn). Last

year I was so sick I had to retire early from the state. I had MGB surgery

three weeks after I retired, and since that time, have been a new woman.

Before the surgery, I suffered with diabetes, high blood pressure, high

cholestrol, osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, and lymphedema on my lower legs.

Since the surgery, I have not had to take any more drugs for high blood

pressure, cholesterol, or diabetes. My blood sugar is just 94 now. The

osteoarthritis is better, and I occasionally take a Vioxx for that. The

lymphedema is incurable, yet manageable. Just wondered if any more of you

suffer from lymphedema, which is a rare disease. I go to an occupational

therapist for that twice a week. I do not mean to dwell too much on illness

before, yet I wanted you all to know about me, since I know a lot about you

all and your problems before and after the sugery from what I have read.

After my surgery on Oct 20, 2000, I have lost 66 pounds, and feel so much

better. I was 241 lbs the day of my surgery, and that was a lot of weight

for me as short as I am at 4'10 1/2. Today I weight 175, and have been at a

plateau for a couple of weeks; however, I am losing inches in my waist. I am

the happiest I have been in a long time.

I can eat almost anything, except for oranges, hot dogs, and cake. My

favorite foods are bacon and scrambled eggs for breakfast with a little syrup

on them (I did not use to crave syrup over eggs and bacon) until after

surgery. For lunch I have a little corn, some tuna salad, and watermelon,

for dinner, rice, chicken breast, and ice cream. When I get hungry, I

usually snack on chicken breast, and orange juice, sometimes cold shrimp.

Would love to know what the rest of you all like to eat. I am always looking

for good sugar free desserts.

As far as other things going on in my life, my love life has picked up a lot

since the surgery. I have been engaged briefly, and I broke the engagement,

as I was not sure if there was enough love to make the marriage work. I was

also afraid the guy wanted a green card more than me. I have had a few

internet romances, and this last one is the most serious. I was seeing

another guy last year, from Hawaii, who was visiting in my home before I had

the surgery, and he could not stand obesity, and would not accompany me to

Dr. R's seminar . Guess that was a good test to see how he really felt. He

believed I could have lost the weight by taking Herbalife as he had done. I

had been on so many diets including Herbalife, and wished he had loved me for

myself. Time will tell what happens in the love department in the future

with me.

Both of my half sisters had the RNY about 12 years ago, and have kept their

weight off all these years.

My hobbies are scrapbooking, collecting dolls, bears, armadillos, and

dragons. I make scrapbooks and have many of my internet friends pictured in

them. Wish we could all swap photos, that would be fun.

As I close, I wish everyone success and happiness. You all mean so much to

me, and wish I knew you all personally. We are all striving for the same

thing, to regain our health, and, happiness, to be able to wear a miniskirt,

or a bathing suit again, and to know we can control our lives. You all are

very special, and I love you all.

Thanks to everyone,

Kate

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Guest guest

in Ark

GREAT POST, Thank You

Keep up the " great " work

TommyB

The Journey

> " Little by little, one travels far " J.R.R Tolkien

>

> " Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more

important

> than the outcome. " Arthur Ashe

>

> These quotes were in Oprah Magazine this month. I know they were

referring

> to the journey of life, of self. But they really reached me where I am,

in

> the weight loss journey. I thought I'd take a few moments to share not

only

> what they mean to me, but if you are a preop, what they might one day mean

to

> you as well. If your life is busy, this is me, rambling as usual, so

delete

> immediately :)

>

> The first quote, by Tolkien, is something I try to apply to my life daily.

> To date, I've lost 77lbs. I'm WAY ahead of the game and totally pleased

with

> the amount I've lost. BUT seeing the numbers change and seeing the change

in

> me are two totally different things. Daily, I need to remember my body IS

> changing, despite what I see in the mirror. And it is changing for the

> better. I cannot have a 3D " preop " me in front of me at all times, and

> pictures don't do the trick. I need to know that my body will not turn

into

> Crawfords, period, BUT it is also NOT the 322lb. body it was.

> Progress, not perfection. Daily renewal of the mind is needed. My health

is

> better, every day. I am more capable, everyday. I am BECOMING a new me,

> every day. But if I could see it everyday, it wouldn't be growth, it

would

> be insanity. I wouldn't know how to handle such a major change, so it is

> healthier that it happens a lb. at a time. I need to be grateful for

that,

> daily. Little by little, I have come very far. Every day those little

> changes add up to a great change in the long run. And isn't that why all

of

> us are in it?

>

> The second quote talks about what we learn along the way. Like a child on

> wobbly legs, we take those first post op steps. We relearn to eat, to

drink,

> to start taking care of a body we have abused and ignored. Not anymore.

Now

> we are in charge of a " new " body, and how we learn to treat it may make a

> difference not only in lbs. loss, but in keeping them off for life. Each

> choice adds up. I used to be a black and white thinker about diet. If I

ate

> one thing NOT on the diet, I would get so frustrated and have " stinkin

> thinkin " tell me I'd NEVER succeed...and that was a self fullfilling

> prophecy. I would then make a million more poor choices, and give up and

say

> I was destined to be a failure. And I WAS. Because I could not accept

that

> it is ALL the choices added together that make up our health, not one bad

> one. I know that now. I learned it on this journey. Tomorrow I hope to

> learn more.

>

> One day I hope I look back and see someone I used to be, but am no more.

> Someone who was too tough on herself at times, and not tough enough at

> others. I hope to be someone who learned from the journey that it is okay

to

> stumble; it is getting back off the floor and carrying on that makes one

> successful.

>

> I hope all of our journeys are filled with peaceful valleys~~~ but they

won't

> be. There will be ups and down, hills and MOUNTAINS, streams to swim in,

sit

> by, admire and crevices that snag our feet and rip at them, begging us to

> dive into abysses that are so deep we cannot find our way out again. It

is

> up to us to watch our path, and notice when the woods grow dark while the

> stars are still above us, guiding us safely to the other side.

>

> Do not take your eyes off the prize they say; they are right. They also

say

> Hang with the winners. In our case, that isn't who lost the most or who

does

> this or that the way we think is right. Nope. It is those who are trying

to

> find health, happiness and a better them. It has ALWAYS been inside of us

to

> find peace. It always will be. We have always had choices. Today we

have a

> tool that allows us to make better ones, easier, but that is about it.

The

> journey is still ours, always was ours, and always will be ours.

>

> Whatever the path you take, understand it is your feet moving you forward.

> Or backward. I know I need to forgive the past-my past, my parents

past,my

> friend's past, etc. I need to face each day of this journey with the

> knowledge that I have to account to only myself. No one else can strap on

my

> shoes and do my work for me. No amount of sympathy will make my life one

> iota better. I know what will, and I need to pursue it.

>

> And when I fail, and I will, I need to crawl off the floor, reaccess and

> decide, again, if I want to go forward, backwards or nowhere---which is

> backwards without movement, right? It is MY journey. It is YOUR journey.

> We all have a choice, daily.

>

> For today, I am hiking a sunny crest. Oh yeah, sometimes my hands are

weak

> and the rock is loose. I have to dig my feet in despite a mind that says

" I

> can't do it " at times. The journey continues despite my fears and

> trepidation. With or without me. I am lucky enough to have other

climbers

> alongside who encourage and teach me how to find a steady resting spot,

and

> nudge me forward when I forget that the challenge isn't met yet.

>

> Enjoy the journey..name it, claim it, cliche it like me. Onward and

upward

> we go. Together.

>

> Keep on keepin on,

> in Ark

> 3-08

> 322-245

>

>

>

>

>

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Ahhh Manda,

To be reading a great right now. I am reading three books...the best being

Zen and the art of Motorcycle maintainence...LOL....a trashy psychic novel

(not into it yet but a friend swears it's coming) and a book about a Jewish

gangster..the author is a metaphor king and I'm loving it.

I was so thrilled to see that quote last night. It just reached out to me

and I hope it reaches others as well..where they are NOW. Some times a

classic is a classic for a reason, no?

HUGS AND SUCH

SUSAN the tired woman in Ark...WAKE UP SUSAN....

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Beautiful and inspirational as always :)

And take a wild guess which book I'm reading right now :)

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkein :)

> " Little by little, one travels far " J.R.R Tolkien

>

> " Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more

important

> than the outcome. " Arthur Ashe

>

> These quotes were in Oprah Magazine this month. I know they were

referring

> to the journey of life, of self. But they really reached me where

I am, in

> the weight loss journey. I thought I'd take a few moments to share

not only

> what they mean to me, but if you are a preop, what they might one

day mean to

> you as well. If your life is busy, this is me, rambling as usual,

so delete

> immediately :)

>

> The first quote, by Tolkien, is something I try to apply to my life

daily.

> To date, I've lost 77lbs. I'm WAY ahead of the game and totally

pleased with

> the amount I've lost. BUT seeing the numbers change and seeing the

change in

> me are two totally different things. Daily, I need to remember my

body IS

> changing, despite what I see in the mirror. And it is changing for

the

> better. I cannot have a 3D " preop " me in front of me at all times,

and

> pictures don't do the trick. I need to know that my body will not

turn into

> Crawfords, period, BUT it is also NOT the 322lb. body it

was.

> Progress, not perfection. Daily renewal of the mind is needed. My

health is

> better, every day. I am more capable, everyday. I am BECOMING a

new me,

> every day. But if I could see it everyday, it wouldn't be growth,

it would

> be insanity. I wouldn't know how to handle such a major change, so

it is

> healthier that it happens a lb. at a time. I need to be grateful

for that,

> daily. Little by little, I have come very far. Every day those

little

> changes add up to a great change in the long run. And isn't that

why all of

> us are in it?

>

> The second quote talks about what we learn along the way. Like a

child on

> wobbly legs, we take those first post op steps. We relearn to eat,

to drink,

> to start taking care of a body we have abused and ignored. Not

anymore. Now

> we are in charge of a " new " body, and how we learn to treat it may

make a

> difference not only in lbs. loss, but in keeping them off for

life. Each

> choice adds up. I used to be a black and white thinker about

diet. If I ate

> one thing NOT on the diet, I would get so frustrated and

have " stinkin

> thinkin " tell me I'd NEVER succeed...and that was a self

fullfilling

> prophecy. I would then make a million more poor choices, and give

up and say

> I was destined to be a failure. And I WAS. Because I could not

accept that

> it is ALL the choices added together that make up our health, not

one bad

> one. I know that now. I learned it on this journey. Tomorrow I

hope to

> learn more.

>

> One day I hope I look back and see someone I used to be, but am no

more.

> Someone who was too tough on herself at times, and not tough enough

at

> others. I hope to be someone who learned from the journey that it

is okay to

> stumble; it is getting back off the floor and carrying on that

makes one

> successful.

>

> I hope all of our journeys are filled with peaceful valleys~~~ but

they won't

> be. There will be ups and down, hills and MOUNTAINS, streams to

swim in, sit

> by, admire and crevices that snag our feet and rip at them, begging

us to

> dive into abysses that are so deep we cannot find our way out

again. It is

> up to us to watch our path, and notice when the woods grow dark

while the

> stars are still above us, guiding us safely to the other side.

>

> Do not take your eyes off the prize they say; they are right.

They also say

> Hang with the winners. In our case, that isn't who lost the most

or who does

> this or that the way we think is right. Nope. It is those who are

trying to

> find health, happiness and a better them. It has ALWAYS been

inside of us to

> find peace. It always will be. We have always had choices. Today

we have a

> tool that allows us to make better ones, easier, but that is about

it. The

> journey is still ours, always was ours, and always will be ours.

>

> Whatever the path you take, understand it is your feet moving you

forward.

> Or backward. I know I need to forgive the past-my past, my parents

past,my

> friend's past, etc. I need to face each day of this journey with

the

> knowledge that I have to account to only myself. No one else can

strap on my

> shoes and do my work for me. No amount of sympathy will make my

life one

> iota better. I know what will, and I need to pursue it.

>

> And when I fail, and I will, I need to crawl off the floor,

reaccess and

> decide, again, if I want to go forward, backwards or nowhere---

which is

> backwards without movement, right? It is MY journey. It is YOUR

journey.

> We all have a choice, daily.

>

> For today, I am hiking a sunny crest. Oh yeah, sometimes my hands

are weak

> and the rock is loose. I have to dig my feet in despite a mind

that says " I

> can't do it " at times. The journey continues despite my fears and

> trepidation. With or without me. I am lucky enough to have other

climbers

> alongside who encourage and teach me how to find a steady resting

spot, and

> nudge me forward when I forget that the challenge isn't met yet.

>

> Enjoy the journey..name it, claim it, cliche it like me. Onward

and upward

> we go. Together.

>

> Keep on keepin on,

> in Ark

> 3-08

> 322-245

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Welcome Kate. Thanks for sharing your story with us, and please keep doing

so. You have done well, and I can only imagine how good it feels to be rid

of most of your previous health problems. My mother was 4'10 1/2 " . She was

so cute! Bet you are too. Enjoy this new life, and keep telling us more.

Good luck with love. Warmly, PhillyJude MGB 11-3-00 263/198 and holding!

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  • 4 years later...

n, Thankyou for sending those examples. I can't seem to go one day without

eating something I'm not suppose to. I'm not sure if I just don't want it bad

enough or if its such a slow process that I am impatient. I have been re-reading

BFL and the Abyss is a good chapter for me. I think that focusing on the day

today and not the end result may be what I need to do.

I feel like I want to change the way I look but I must not want it bad enough

or I would be able to have at least ONE good eating day. Like today. I did great

all day and then after dinner, I had a handful of tortilla chips! It was pure

mindless eating.

I really appreciate when you all post how you made it through your challenges.

It makes me want to do better.

Keep up the good work!

BTW, , how much weight did you lose? What was the change in your body fat

%? You don't look bad in your before pics on your web sight!

B

n <mtpaper@...> wrote:

On another board, there is a discussion about setting goals - but realizing

that they keep changing. And focusing on the journey, not the end

result. Seems to me that BP advocates setting goals, but also recognizes

that it's about progress, not perfection.

Someone posted these two stories, and I wanted to share:

In Indian philosophy one of the most important stories told in the Bhagvad

Gita (the holy book of the Hindus) - nope this is not a religious discourse

however - in a conversation between two characters, who are on the battle

field about to go to war; a teacher (Lord Krishna) tells his student

(Arjuna) to 'Act without thinking of the prize' the belief is if you are

focused on the prize - half your attention is diverted making your chances

of ever reaching the goal half as well.

Similarly there is a story of a young boy who went to O'sensei (Morihei

Ueshiba) and said he wanted to learn Aikido and how wanted to know how long

it would take to get his Black Belt. O'sensei replied 4 years - the student

went on to ask how long it would take if he practiced everyday - O'sensei

replied, 8 years. Surprised; the young lad asked how long it would take if

he practiced everyday, twice a day and O'sensei replied probably 12 years.

Shocked the boy asked why as he increased his commitment to achieving his

Black Belt the time to actually get it kept increasing. O'sensei explained

that the more the boy focused on the Black Belt the less he would actually

focus on the techniques etc taught in class.

The point is - that number should be monitored but treated as a number

while you make the various life style changes and enjoy the transformation

the process will bring about.

Enjoy the journey coz this is one of those trips without a final destination.

n T.

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Which time? LOL I lost 20 pounds with my eating disorder, which took

me from a normal teenager to a skeletal stick bug. Then I regained

35-40 pounds with the post eating disorder rebound bingeing. I didn't

understand healthy eating at that point, I only knew pigging out and

starving, so since I wasn't supposed to starve myself anymore, I was

eating lots of macaroni and chocolate cake in the name of " recovery. "

Then one day I stepped on a cattle scale at the zoo, had a moment of

brutal clarity when I saw that I'd gone from 115 to 151, and cried my

guts out in a barnyard petting zoo surrounded by goats.

Shortly thereafter, I discovered The Zone, gave up my all-carbs diet,

and promptly lost about 15 pounds. So, when I started BFL, I weighed

like 139 at 5'8 " and was 21% body fat. I ended that first 12 weeks at

like 134 and 14% body fat. Not much of a change on the scale, but

major inches lost and serious muscle definition appearing for the

first time. That was six years ago. I still hang out at around 137-140

and 15-18% body fat. The " before " photos on my website were actually

after about three years of BFL. I was just pulling out of a winter

" bulking " phase gone slightly amok. :-)

There's never a simple answer when you ask a woman about her weight. LOL

On 1/26/06, B <boosfamily06@...> wrote:

> BTW, , how much weight did you lose? What was the change in your body

fat %? You don't look bad in your before pics on your web sight!

>

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Hi -

I think it perpertuates itself.... If, what you do is have off-plan food

each day, then that becomes your norm, and it's hard to break the

cycle. On the other hand, if you go for a full day (one day at a time) of

not having off-plan food, then this will become your norm.

As for how to get there..... I couldn't do it until I was ready to commit,

had a plan and focus. ie, when I was floudering around with generic

low-carbing, and no specific exercise, I couldn't do it. When I committed

to BFL for 12 weeks, I was committed. Of course, other stars were also

aligned for me at the time....

I agree - your goal may need to be days of clean-eating - rather than

getting to a specific size of clothing or a specific weight. I like to set

goals that are within my control - then I can have the satisfaction of

having met the goal.

n T.

At 12:58 PM 1/27/2006, you wrote:

>n, Thankyou for sending those examples. I can't seem to go one day

>without eating something I'm not suppose to. I'm not sure if I just don't

>want it bad enough or if its such a slow process that I am impatient. I

>have been re-reading BFL and the Abyss is a good chapter for me. I think

>that focusing on the day today and not the end result may be what I need to do.

> I feel like I want to change the way I look but I must not want it bad

> enough or I would be able to have at least ONE good eating day. Like

> today. I did great all day and then after dinner, I had a handful of

> tortilla chips! It was pure mindless eating.

>I really appreciate when you all post how you made it through your

>challenges. It makes me want to do better.

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Share on other sites

Thank you for sharing this n.

dj

>

> On another board, there is a discussion about setting goals - but

realizing

> that they keep changing. And focusing on the journey, not the end

> result. Seems to me that BP advocates setting goals, but also

recognizes

> that it's about progress, not perfection.

>

> Someone posted these two stories, and I wanted to share:

> In Indian philosophy one of the most important stories told in the

Bhagvad

> Gita (the holy book of the Hindus) - nope this is not a religious

discourse

> however - in a conversation between two characters, who are on the

battle

> field about to go to war; a teacher (Lord Krishna) tells his

student

> (Arjuna) to 'Act without thinking of the prize' the belief is if

you are

> focused on the prize - half your attention is diverted making your

chances

> of ever reaching the goal half as well.

> Similarly there is a story of a young boy who went to O'sensei

(Morihei

> Ueshiba) and said he wanted to learn Aikido and how wanted to know

how long

> it would take to get his Black Belt. O'sensei replied 4 years -

the student

> went on to ask how long it would take if he practiced everyday -

O'sensei

> replied, 8 years. Surprised; the young lad asked how long it would

take if

> he practiced everyday, twice a day and O'sensei replied probably

12 years.

> Shocked the boy asked why as he increased his commitment to

achieving his

> Black Belt the time to actually get it kept increasing. O'sensei

explained

> that the more the boy focused on the Black Belt the less he would

actually

> focus on the techniques etc taught in class.

> The point is - that number should be monitored but treated as a

number

> while you make the various life style changes and enjoy the

transformation

> the process will bring about.

> Enjoy the journey coz this is one of those trips without a final

destination.

>

> n T.

>

>

>

>

>

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  • 3 years later...
Guest guest

Reprinted From:http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view & friendId=19096065 & blogId=476842846A LIFE AFTER DEATH JOURNEY by Diane Cota-Robles http://eraofpeace.org Jim

Mc, a dear friend of mine, made his transition into the Inner

Realms of Light on February 20, 2009. The day after his passing, I

received a beautiful E-mail describing another person's near-death

experience. This information is profound, very inspiring, and

comforting. I would like to share this with you now. As

you read these words, go within to the Divinity of your heart. Ask your

I AM Presence to help you follow this near-death experience as though

you were on this sacred journey yourself. This is truly a

mind-expanding and a consciousness-raising opportunity for all of us. By

expanding this sacred knowledge through your Heart Flame, you will

anchor this profound Truth into the Earth's Crystal Grid System, and

you will expand it through the mental and emotional strata of the

planet. This wisdom will then be tangibly available to the masses of

Humanity, and it will lift all Life up in energy, vibration, and

consciousness. In

the midst of the chaos and confusion that is surfacing to be healed at

this time, this information will be a powerful, healing gift to ALL

Life on this planet. A JOURNEY THROUGH THE LIGHT AND BACKNear-Death Experience Story of Mellen- BenedictMellen- Benedict speaks: In

1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable,

and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me

more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I

had been an information freak in the 1970s, and I had become

increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis,

and so forth. So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to

believe that nature had made a mistake and that we were probably a

cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no way that we could get out

from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet. I

perceived all humans as cancer—and that is what I got. That

is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back

on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously

negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried all sorts of

alternative healing methods, but nothing helped. So

I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never

really faced God before or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind

of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about

spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I

could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be

surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions

and philosophies. They were all very interesting and gave hope that

there was something on the other side. I ended up in hospice care. I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 AM, and I just knew that this was it. This

was the day I was going to die. So I called a few friends and said

goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I had a private

agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six

hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen

when you die. I went back to sleep. The

next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death

experience. Suddenly I was fully aware—and I was standing up but my

body was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my

body was even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that

I could see every room in the house. I could see the top of the house,

I could see around the house, I could see under the house. There

was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very

similar to what many other people have described in their near-death

experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It

is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your

ideal mother's or father's arms. As

I began to move toward the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to

the Light, I would be dead. So as I was moving toward the Light I said,

"Please wait a minute; just hold on a second here. I want to think

about this. I would like to talk to you before I go." To my surprise,

the entire experience halted at that point. You are in control of your

life-after-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride. So

my request was honored, and I had some conversations with the Light.

The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha,

Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked the Light,

"What is going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I

really want to know the reality of the situation." I cannot really say

the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy. The

Light responded. The information transferred to me was that during your

life-after- death experience your beliefs shape the kind of feedback

you are getting before the Light. If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or

Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a

chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. As the

Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really

seeing was our Higher Self matrix. We

all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It revealed

itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really

describe it is that the Being of the Higher Self is more like a

conduit. It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to

the Source that each and every one of us have. We are directly

connected to the Source. So the Light was showing me the Higher Self

matrix. I was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what

was being fed back to me during my life-after-death experience. As

I asked the Light to keep clearing for me, to keep explaining, I

understood what the Higher Self matrix is. We have a grid around the

planet where all the Higher Selves are connected. This

is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the

spirit level, you might say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked

for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the Universe is

about, and I was ready to go at that time. I said, "I am ready, take

me." Then

the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a

mandala of human souls on this planet. Now I came to this with my

negative view of what was happening on the planet. So as I asked the

Light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how

beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most

beautiful creations. The

human soul, the human matrix that we all make together, is absolutely

fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough about

how it changed my opinion of human Beings in that instant. I said, "Oh,

God, I did not know how beautiful we are." At any level, high or low,

in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation. The

revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on. Then I

asked the Light, "Does this mean that Mankind will be saved?" Then,

like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light

spoke, saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and

heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with

the power to do so from before the beginning of the world." In

that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN

SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self- correct

like the rest of God's Universe. This is what the second coming is

about. I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I

could come up with was these simple words of total appreciation: "Oh

dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I Love My Life." The

Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light

was completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day,

indescribable. I entered into another realm, more profound than the

last and became aware of something more, much more. It was an enormous

stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life. I asked what

this was. The

Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water

to your heart's content." So I did. I took one big drink and then

another. To drink of Life Itself! I was in ecstasy. Then the Light said, "You have a desire." The Light knew all about me, everything past, present and future. "Yes!" I whispered. I

asked to see the rest of the Universe, beyond our solar system, beyond

all human illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the

Stream. I did, and was carried through the Light at the end of the

tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a

rush! Suddenly

I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I

saw the Earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed

by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the

center of the Galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned

that this Galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many

different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that

we are not alone in this Universe! As

I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the Galaxy,

the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super

clusters of Galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I

thought I was going somewhere, actually traveling. But then I realized

that as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also

expanding to take in everything in the Universe! All creation passed by

me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe

in Wonderland! At this point, I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void. I

was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the

beginning of time/the First Word/the First Vibration. I was in the Eye

of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a

religious feeling. Simply, I was at one with Absolute Life and

Consciousness. When

I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could

experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning

and without end. That is a mind expanding thought, isn't it? Scientists

perceive the Big Bang as a single event which created the Universe. I

saw during my life-after- death experience that the Big Bang is only

one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and

simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms

would be those created by super computers using fractal geometry

equations. The

ancients knew of this. They said God had periodically created new

Universes by breathing out and recreated other Universes by breathing

in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big

Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive

all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and recreating themselves.

Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and

every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very

difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this. It

took me years after I returned from my near-death experience to

assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you

this now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that

is! The Void is absolute zero, chaos forming all possibilities. It is

Absolute Consciousness, much more than even Universal Intelligence. The

Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations.

It is the SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has

begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero point.

Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or

to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure

infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body

and the Universe than anything else! What

mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a

different kind of energy that has created everything that we are.

Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which

is the first vibration. The biblical "I AM" really has a question mark

after it. "I AM—What am I?" So creation is God exploring God's Self

through every way imaginable, in an on-going, infinite exploration

through every one of us. I began to see during my near-death experience

that everything that is, is the Self, literally your Self, my Self.

Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf

falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the

Universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the Universe.

There is God in that, and God in the Void. As

I was exploring the Void during my life-after- death experience and all

the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we

know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about

Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life

as we know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre life,

before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than Life and Death.

Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the

Universe! When

I realized this, I was finished with the Void and wanted to return to

this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do.

Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang,

hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness

back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super

clusters of Galaxies came through me with even more insights. I passed

through the center of our Galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes

are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do

you know what is on the other side of a black hole? We are; our Galaxy,

which has been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy

configuration, the Galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights.. All

energy this side of the Big Bang is Light. Every sub atom, atom, star,

planet, even consciousness itself is made of Light and has a frequency

and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of Light,

even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light

of God; everything is very intelligent. As

I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light

coming. I knew it was the First Light; the Higher Self Light Matrix of

our Solar System. Then the entire Solar System appeared in the Light,

accompanied by one of those velvet booms. I

could see all the energy that this Solar System generates, and it is an

incredible Light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our Solar

System, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light,

sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star

systems can spot Life as we know it in the Universe by the vibratory or

energy matrix imprint. It is child's play. The Earth's wonder child

(Human Beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children

playing in the backyard of the Universe. The

Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal Beings.

We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a

natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told

that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural,

from what I had seen during my life-after-death experience. I

don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came

a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my

return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered on the

other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions have been

answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to

explore. Some of our questions are universal, but each of us is

exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way. So is every

other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree. That

is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because it all

contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally

God exploring God's Self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness

enhances all of Life. As

I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was

I told, that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I

had complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream

merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations

and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side. There was a "Yes." It felt like a kiss to my soul. Then

I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The

whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I

came back home, and I was given lessons from my near-death experience

on the mechanics of reincarnation. I was given answers to all those

little questions I had: "How does this work? How does that work?" I

knew that I would be reincarnated. The

Earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness

evolves out of that into each one of us. I thought of myself as a human

for the first time, and I was happy to be that. From what I have seen,

I would be happy to be an atom in this Universe. An atom. So to be the

human part of God—this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing

beyond our wildest estimation of what a blessing can be. For each and

every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome and

magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed

up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are. I

went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby

somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and

consciousness evolve. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. I do

not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise

to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me,

crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an

hour and a half after finding me dead. My body was stiff and

inflexible. She went into the other room. Then I awakened and saw the

light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the

bed. She heard a loud "clunk," ran in and found me on the floor. When

I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had

happened to me during my near-death experience. At first all the memory

of the trip that I have now was not there. I kept slipping out of this

world and kept asking, "Am I alive?" This world seemed more like a

dream than that one. Within three days I was feeling normal again,

clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of my

near-death experience came back later. I could see nothing wrong with

any human Being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I

thought a lot of people were really screwed up. In fact, I thought

that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that. About

three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got

the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting

bad news. I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and

after scans, saying, "Well, there is nothing here now." I said,

"Really, it must be a miracle"' He said "No, these things happen; they

are called spontaneous remissions." He acted very unimpressed. But here

was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was. During

my near-death experience I had a descent into what you might call Hell,

and it was very surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My descent

into Hell was a descent into each person's customized human misery,

ignorance, and darkness of not knowing. It seemed like a miserable

eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star

of Light always available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it.

They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery. But,

after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that Light,

like a child calling to a parent for help. Then

the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me and

insulated me from all that fear and pain, That is what Hell really is.

So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The

doors of Hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands and

walk out of Hell together. The Light came to me and turned into a huge

golden Angel. I said, "Are you the Angel of Death?" It expressed to me

that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super ancient part of

ourselves. Then I was taken to the Light. Soon

our science will quantify spirit. Isn't that going to be wonderful? We

are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or

spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to

see what they are made of. They have got it down to quarks and charm,

and all that. Well, one day they are going to come down to the little

thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call

it...God. We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too,

as we go along. As I saw forever, I came to a realm during my

near-death experience in which there is a point where we pass all

knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have

that power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself

through us. Since

my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have

learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each

one of you can do this. You do not have to die or have a near-death

experience to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for

it already. The body is the most magnificent Light Being there is. The

body is a Universe of incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to

dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop trying to

become God; God is becoming you. Here. I

asked God: "What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is

right?" And Godhead said, with great love: "I don't care." That was

incredible grace. When Godhead said, "I don't care," I immediately

understood that it is for us to care about. It is important, because we

are the caring Beings. It matters to us and that is where it is

important. What you have is the energy equation in spirituality.

Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist or

whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the whole. I wish that all

religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of

each religion, but we are talking about the same God. Live and let

live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the big picture;

it is all important. I

went over to the other side during my near-death experience with a lot

of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion,

the rainforest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear

waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we

have manifested to date, as an archetype. It, more than any religion or

philosophy on Earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new

level of consciousness. Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet

fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all

here together, now. For

a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us.

Then we started saying, "we do not need this any more." Now we are

actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to

get safer. So I came back from my near-death experience loving toxic

waste because it brought us together. These things are so big. As

might say, these problems are now "soul size." Do we have soul

size answers" YES! The

clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there

will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into

ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming

aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed. It is

part of a larger thing. Earth

is in the process of domesticating itself. It is never again going to

be as wild a place as it once was. There will be great wild places,

reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and reserves will be the thing

in the future. Population increase is getting very close to the optimal

range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in

consciousness will change politics, money, energy. After

dying, going through my near-death experience and coming back, I really

respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the

door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want

to live in this body. After

living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you

will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as

creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic

vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the

wisdom of Life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already

been alive forever. This

body, that you are in, has been alive forever. It comes from an

unending Stream of Life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond. This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy. This body has been alive forever already. This E-mailing Newsletter is a sharing from: Diane Cota-Robles New Age Study of Humanity's Purpose a 501 © 3 nonprofit educational organization Website: http://eraofpeace.org FAX: 520-751-2981; Phone: 520-885-7909 New Age Study of Humanity's Purpose PO Box 41883, Tucson, Arizona 85717The Essence Of Eden Intentional Community [EOE] [E-v-E]The Eden Project The Eden Experiment The Eden ExperienceThe Eden Project Website:http://intentionalone.com/essence/presentlreality.htmlThe Eden Project Network:http://intentone,ning.comThe Eden Project Group:theedenprojectThe Eden Project MySpace:http://myspace.com/jnjazzThe Eden Project [Twitter]:http://twitter.com/TheEdenExp

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  • 1 year later...

Cool!! What a wonderful revelation! Good luck:)

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

the journey

What an interesting journey we are all on! I am currently reading this book

called, the Dance of Intimacy and as I am looking at my relationships with my

family, my boyfriend and ultimately with myself I find that all of this-is so

intertwined. I had a challenging conversation with my boyfriend which brought up

issues that reminded me of my mother and then I felt the need to eat. How

obvious that food has been a coping strategy for so long! So today, I wrote my

boyfriend an email and I plan on talking to my mother about her past drug use

and my current fears.

Yeah, It was scary-to confront these things. Oh but I am ready to stop avoiding

and distancing myself from my problems and ready to embrace them with a little

bit love and a clean plate ;)

I wish you all luck and love for yourselves.

I have spent a long time focused on food and my body and my wanting to control

it and haven't spent much time uncovering who this person in this body really

is. Let's do it!

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hi everyone! it's nice to wake up (yes, i just woke up) to all this support

and positivity.

thanks,

Avie

On Sun, Feb 27, 2011 at 8:52 AM, Constance <kcblj5@...> wrote:

>

>

> WOW ! What a coincident that is the next book I have to read on my list of

> books to read. Also I noticed your email name. I also really like that song

> as well! : )

>

>

>

>

> From: paperplanesabove <paperplanesabove@...>

> Subject: the journey

> weightloss

> Date: Saturday, February 26, 2011, 3:34 AM

>

>

>

> What an interesting journey we are all on! I am currently reading this book

> called, the Dance of Intimacy and as I am looking at my relationships with

> my family, my boyfriend and ultimately with myself I find that all of

> this-is so intertwined. I had a challenging conversation with my boyfriend

> which brought up issues that reminded me of my mother and then I felt the

> need to eat. How obvious that food has been a coping strategy for so long!

> So today, I wrote my boyfriend an email and I plan on talking to my mother

> about her past drug use and my current fears.

> Yeah, It was scary-to confront these things. Oh but I am ready to stop

> avoiding and distancing myself from my problems and ready to embrace them

> with a little bit love and a clean plate ;)

> I wish you all luck and love for yourselves.

> I have spent a long time focused on food and my body and my wanting to

> control it and haven't spent much time uncovering who this person in this

> body really is. Let's do it!

>

>

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