Kindness

[Guest guest]

Very funny, Sylvia! I have a niece who is half Jewish and half Catholic, I

mean Christmas, so I'll have to tell my sister and her family this story.

Thanks for the laugh.

You're right. There is much kindness right here. I just wish the world were

filled with more people like those in our group.

----- Original Message -----

From: <booper51@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2000 10:07 PM

Subject: [ ] Kindness

>

> ,

> You ask, " What happened to kindness " ? All I know is that it's all

> here with our group.

> May I share a short chuckle story. My husband is jewish and I

> catholic. My daughter (Tracie) half each. My husband's nephew (all

> jewish) spent Christmas week at our house for many many years. Of

> course, he also received Christmas gifts while he was with us. One

> day he said, " Boy, is Tracie really lucky, she is half jewish and

> half Christmas " . Because she got both hannakah and Christmas gifts.

> Sylvia

[Guest guest]

OK, advice taken....DELETE...DELETE...DELETE....:0)

Kim

[Guest guest]

That's a good idea. Overweight people have had enough disrespect to last a

lifetime. We all have to use restraint and put ourselves back to where we were

before surgery. It's sometimes frustrating but I liken it to dealing with my

teenager. I was that way once (oh my god) and have to remember that. For

example, when people question whether they should have the surgery or not, the

risks , complications, etc. when they are over 100 lbs overweight with major

illnesses. Now, looking back, it seems so stupid, but I did it too. We all

have to remember where we came from and be grateful that we have been given this

second chance. barb dudley, high point, 10/15/ 03, 242/153.

[Guest guest]

Kindness is the first of the three great treasures advocated by Lao Tzu. The

Buddha taught that generosity is a primary quality of an awakened mind. Muhammad

regarded kindness as an essential sign of faith. Jewish and Christian ethics are

built upon deeds of kindness, as are the daily interactions of people of primal

traditions.

The spiritual practice of kindness encompasses a range of small acts and habits

that we know as old-fashioned good manners — saying " please " and " thank you, "

waiting your turn, lending a helping hand, or cheering someone up with a smile.

It applies not just to your relationships with other people. Etiquette in the

spiritual life extends to things, animals, plants, and the Earth.

This practice also means being generous with your presence, your time, and your

money. Give freely without expecting anything in return. Just do it. Kindness is

not a quid pro quo endeavor.

The biblical maxim " love your neighbor as yourself " sets a very high goal for

our human relationships. Sometimes, for a moment, we may love our neighbor, but

as a way of life, love eludes us. We can, though, work to approach love through

its practical manifestation: kindness.

Simple, unassuming kindness toward the people and the life around us brings both

immediate and lasting rewards. As with any thoroughly right action, acts of

kindness bring a special satisfaction to us and a ray of light into the world.

Kindness flows naturally from our hearts: we need only lift the veils that hide

and block it.

First and foremost, our ordinary self-centeredness precludes true kindness. As

long as we measure everything in life in terms of our own needs, wants, and

antipathies, as long as we regard other people as objects like pieces of

furniture, we leave no room for kindness. We may consider certain people

undeserving of our kindness. It may even seem stupid to us to be kind, to give

something of ourselves freely for no visible reward. Where is the profit in

that? Not seeing the real answer, we may even be unkind or at best neutral

toward our neighbor.

But there is a profit in kindness, even for our self-interest, our true

self-interest. Being kind removes us from the thrall of egoism, at least

temporarily, and ushers us into a more connected and natural world. If we could

but see that acts of kindness benefit our own being as much as the recipient of

our kindness, our resistance would melt away and we would seek opportunities to

be kind. In the meantime, the most powerful medicine for hard-heartedness

derives from seeing our own indifference, our own unkindness in actual life

events, actions, and attitudes.

Living nearly all the time in the world of pre-programmed actions and reactions,

we rarely actually notice anything, including opportunities for kindness.

Openings for kindness usually do not appear on our radar, as our habits and

conditioning block their perception. Not present to occasions for potential

kindness, we sleep walk right past them. As an antidote, we can diligently

practice the methods for awakening, for presence, for being fully in this

moment. True presence unveils our basic kindness and shows us appropriate venues

for its expression.

When our willingness to be kind does break through and our awareness reveals

opportunities, difficult questions naturally arise. What constitutes kindness?

What is the most appropriate and effective action in a given situation? Most of

us have had experiences in which we thought we were being kind, only to have it

all backfire because we did or said the wrong thing. We need wisdom to guide our

actions. Good intentions alone can lead to misguided actions. Giving the addict

money, may only prolong the addiction. Offering our opinions, when the more

appropriate stance is to just listen, can easily spoil the moment. Conversely,

remaining silent when we should speak truly can be a disservice. Intruding when

we should do nothing, clumsily aggravates the situation. To act appropriately

and effectively, we need bring all our powers to bear, our intelligence and

experience, our insight into the person and the circumstances, our kind

attitude, the humility of knowing our limitations, and our developing inner eye

for the truth.

We can, however, readily practice kindness in certain simple situations that do

not call for deep wisdom. Courtesy is a common and underrated form of kindness,

whether in holding a door for a stranger or in driving. Indeed, the practice of

kindness while driving can prove a very fruitful field, because it arouses our

resistance to giving way, to being magnanimous, to letting the other guy win

even when he's rude and greedy.

Work on kindness serves to purify and transform our hearts. Kindness operates

directly against self-centeredness, though it can be arrogated by egoism: being

kind while preening in an inward mirror. " That was kind of me. I'm such a kind

and wonderful person. " If we look carefully, though, we find that mirror empty:

no separation from our neighbor. The best kindness occurs when we serve another

without reflecting that we are performing an act of kindness and without seeking

or expecting gratitude in return. This may be a distant goal, so we begin where

we are. Far better to take credit for kindness, than to succumb to unkindness or

wallow in indifference.

Rightly conducted spiritual practice inevitably leads to the manifestation of

more kindness. Outward kindness may even be considered as one measure of a

person's spiritual station. Conversely, the practice of kindness, toward both

friend and stranger, helps enormously in that most essential task of the

spiritual path: the purification of heart and motivation. So we remember to open

our hearts and actions toward others both as an expression of the Great Heart of

the World and as a method to cleanse our soul. We remember to do this until the

day arrives when kindness becomes our nature.