POSITIVE ENERGY: HOW TO BUILD VITALITY AND STOP ENERGY VAMPIRES

[Guest guest]

POSITIVE ENERGY: HOW TO BUILD VITALITY AND STOP ENERGY VAMPIRES FROM DRAINING YOU

By Judith Orloff, M.D.

Adapted from Positive Energy, Harmony Books, April, 2004

I learned to honor my energy needs the hard way. As a psychiatrist who

specializes in intuition I knew how important it was to listen to my

body. Yet still I'd vacillate between intense weeks of speaking tours

to bouts of utter exhaustion at home. I couldn't turn down

"irresistible" opportunities. Here was my dilemma--I trusted my

intuition, and was committed to living by it. But I had a blind spot:

Although I was quite successful at helping others at trusting intuition

and leading high energy lives I was ignoring my own energy crises.

Finally my fatigue was so profound I had to change.

I know first hand how important it is for us to cherish our precious

energy so we don't compromise our capacity for passion. I now believe

that the most profound transformations can only take place only on an

energetic level. I've met many patients who've spent much time and

money on talk therapy hoping that intellectual insights will bring

emotional freedom, but they're disappointed. As much as I love the

linear mind, my approach, which I call "Energy Psychiatry," goes

further to also facilitate a conscious rebuilding of a subtle energies,

the most basic life force in each of us.

Do You Get Drained By Other People's Energy?

Our bodies are made of flesh and blood, but they're also composed of

energy fields—though sadly I wasn't taught this in medical school. Each

day we encounter a wide range of energies, both positive and negative.

Positive energy includes compassion, courage, forgiveness, and faith.

Negative energy includes fear, anger, hopelessness, and shame. We need

to be experts at dealing with energy so we don't get demolished by

draining situations or people who're energy vampires.

Like me you may be an intuitive empath, someone who's so sensitive to

energy you pick it up but you're also drained by it. This goes way

beyond feeling sympathy for a distraught friend—we actually take on

their pain either emotionally or physically. To cope we take refuge in

solitude. We empaths are so attuned to others that we can feel what's

going on inside of them. This can put us on energy overload and

aggravate everything from chronic fatigue to overeating.

Growing up, my girlfriends couldn't wait to hit the malls, but I

dreaded them. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around crowds,

though I was clueless why. "What's the matter?" friends would say,

shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and

I just didn't mix. I'd go there feeling fine but leave nervous,

depressed, or with some new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a

gigantic sponge, absorbing the energy of people around me.

Thank goodness, as my intuition matured, I realized I had intuitive

empathy. Once I learned to protect my energy, empathy has become a gift

enhancing my compassion. Here's how empathy works: the more people per

square foot, the more our energy fields intersect--thus the tendency to

become overloaded in high-density areas. This aspect of intuition is

the most neglected.

Empaths, unintentionally, can make even a good doctor's life hell. They

manifest so many "unexplained" symptoms, that frustrated physicians

write them off as hypochondriacs. Empaths are notoriously misdiagnosed.

Patients have come to me with obesity who've failed diets because they

needed strategies other than eating to protect themselves from negative

energy. Others were labeled "agoraphobic" or with "panic disorder,"

having received only minor relief from traditional treatments. Some

were nearly house-bound. They'd all say, "I dislike crowded places

where there's no quick escape. Forget department stores, busy streets,

elevators, tunnels. I just avoid them." Sounded very familiar. So I

decided to take a history of how these people processed subtle energy

in the world, something all health professionals must be trained to

assess. Voila! I found many were undiagnosed empaths. For me, this

changed everything. My job as a physician then became teaching my

patients to center themselves and protect their energy.

A Survival Guide to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires.

You don't have to be an empath to experience the fang marks of an

energy vampire, though empaths are often hit the hardest. Relationships

are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask

ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It's important to be

surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe

and secure. It's equally important to pinpoint the energy vampires,

who, whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.

Positive energy in others can be rejuvenative. For instance, you're nervous about a job interview,

but the minute you meet your prospective boss you relax. He's so calm

and welcoming, you calm down too. Or perhaps you have a good friend

around whom you always feel loved. These are energy-givers, those we

must gravitate towards.

In contrast, energy vampires exude negative energy that drains.

Vampires range from the intentionally malicious ones to those who are

oblivious to their effect. Some are overbearing and obnoxious; others

are friendly and charming. For example, you're at a party talking to a

perfectly nice person, but suddenly you're nauseous or weak. Or how

about the co-worker who drones on about how she broke up with her

boyfriend for the tenth time? Eventually, she feels better, but you're

spent. The bottom line is that on a subtle energy level these people

suck you dry.

There are many types of vampires to watch out for. The main ones I

stress in my book are the Drama Queen who wears your out with her

dramas; The Sob Sister, who whines all the time; The Blamer, who cuts

you down with criticism and The Go-For-The-Carotid type who purposely

cuts your down without any respect for your feelings. Keep an eye out

for these types so you're aware of their methods, and stop them from

draining you.

Strategies for Dealing With Energy Vampires

1.Take an inventory of people in your life who give energy, and people

who drain. Specifically identify the energy vampires, and begin to

evaluate ones you'd like to limit contact with or eliminate. Plan at

least one complete afternoon with people who give off positive energy

and avoid drainers. Notice how this beneficially affects your physical

and emotional well-being.

2. Set Clear Boundaries. It's crucial to limit the time you spend

discussing a vampire's gripes. When approaching her, remember: the

difference between being a bitch and setting boundaries is attitude.

Instead of saying, "You're selfish and self-obsessed, I can't take you

anymore," which a part of you likely feels, take a breath and shift to

your heart.

3. Meditate. Sitting in meditation is a life-line to your center, to

the earth. it will ground you when you've been struck by a vampire. By

calming the mind, you can re-align with your essence. Close your eyes.

Focus on your breath. Then gently extend your awareness downward to

strata, bedrock, minerals, and soil. From the base of your spine begin

to feel a continuity with the earth's core. Picture having a long tail

that roots in that center. Allow the earth's energy to infuse your body

and stabilize you. If you meditate for five minutes or an hour this is

sacred time.

4. Walk away. If you feel your energy being zapped don't hesitate to

politely excuse yourself from a killing conversation. Move at least

twenty feet from the person, outside the range of his or her energy

field. "I have to go to the bathroom" is a foolproof line. Most people

are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. For years, reluctant

to hurt anyone's feelings, I needlessly endured these types of

situations and suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude

that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still we don't budge

for fear of offending? In a spot, physically removing yourself is a

sure quick solution.

5. Build an energy shield around you. When you're with vampires you

can't get away from visualize a protective shield of while light

surrounding every inch of you. This lets positive energy in, but keeps

negative energy out—particularly efficient for vampires at family

dinners or social events where you're trapped.

I hope I've inspired you to be more fierce about asserting your energy

needs. Never put yourself down as being "overly sensitive." Sensitivity

is an asset as long as you learn how to protect yourself from negative

vibes. Understanding how you react energetically in the world is

particularly important if you're chronically tired and want to build

vitality. Knowledge is power. Meeting your energy needs can balance

mind, body, and spirit to create a vibrant life.

Judith Orloff, MD is a board-certified psychiatrist and a medical

intuitive. This article is adapted from her newest book, Positive

Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue,

Stress, and Fear into Vibrance, Strength, and Love (Harmony Books,

2004)..She's also written the bestsellers Guide to Intuitive Healing

and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff is an assistant clinical professor of

psychiatry at UCLA and an international workshop leader. For more

information on Dr. Orloff's workshops and national book tour schedule

visit www.drjudithorloff.com.