Plugging Energy Leaks

[Guest guest]

August, 1999

www.inlightimes.com

  Plugging Energy Leaks That Hold You Back

     " It’s not that we all don’t

have great ideas, projects we want to get done, people we want to help. The problem is

that we have no energy to do the extra things in life that we would like to do. We, as

human beings have only so much life energy we can use in any given day. Our lives are

changing at a rapid pace and it feels as if we have too many people, responsibilities,

necessities, pulling us in a thousand different directions every waking hour. It’s no

surprise that we feel stressed out and fatigue. "

by Lee Milteer  

The problem isn’t just

our lifestyle; it’s also how we use our existing life energy. We all have something I

call energy leaks — those self-defeating behaviors that drain our energy by creating

anxiety. Energy leaks occur when we use our mental or emotional energy on our thoughts,

worries, doubts, fears, and grudges. When we cannot maintain our energy level, we cannot

learn new skills, adapt to new procedures or changing directions.

An energy leak that almost everyone

has is wasting life by trying to live in the past or the future.

How many times have you caught yourself saying

things like: " I can’t wait ‘till 5 o’clock; I can’t wait

‘till Friday; ‘till my vacation; ‘till I get married; ‘till the kids

get in school? " When we daydream of the future or spend a lot of time comparing how

the past was better, we are actually stealing from our current life energy to be in the

present.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking: Things used

to be so much better; being a kid was so great, when I was younger? The problem in doing

this is that you’re stealing from the one true resource that can’t be replaced

— Now. All you have is this moment in time. Our present time is so precious,

yet we act as if it were okay to waste the only thing you really own in life…the

present.

Your time and energy should be at the top of your

list of most precious resources. It’s the steps you take in the present which will

allow you to manifest whatever it is that you want in your future. The bottom line is your

point of power is always in the present.

EXCESS BAGGAGE

A most damaging energy leak is

holding on to angry feelings — bearing a grudge. As an example, Tammy is a friend of

mine; she and her husband had just moved into their first home when she found out she was

expecting their first child. The new house needed a complete paint job, so Tammy’s

father offered to come over and help her paint. After two weeks of hard work in close

quarters, Tammy and her father began to get on each other’s nerves. One day they had

a raging fight where both of them said some very nasty things to each other. Her father

ultimately left the house angry and refused to come back and finish paint-ing. They

haven’t spoken to each other since the big blowup, leaving Tammy so upset that she

bursts into tears at the mere thought of her father. Tammy’s husband wants her to

call her father for a reconciliation, but she remains adamant that it’s his place to

call her. After all, she is expecting her first child, and he deserted her in the middle

of this huge painting job, even though she recognizes the blow up was really over a

misunderstanding and nothing to argue about. She stubbornly maintains that she is right.

The prob-lem here is that she would rather be right than have peace in her family —

and this energy leak of worrying about the rift in her family is creating unhappiness for

her.

No matter who you are, you have some type of similar

story from your own life. So many times we hold onto our righteous feelings even when it

hurts us. We are too stubborn to give in and admit that we are 50 percent of the problem.

The amount of life energy that is consumed by clinging to who is right drains us from

seeing other solutions and reconciling with the people we care about.

WORRY LEAKS

Worry is a useless emotion. Since

your brain doesn’t have enough information to worry accurately, you’re making it

up, and most likely, it’s 100 percent worse than reality could ever be. If you have

unhealthy emotions of imagined fears or worry, the body responds with a tense feeling of

nervousness, stress-related illness, fatigue, lack of energy, and loss of creativity. Ever

heard this saying — " the fearful die a thousand deaths, the brave only

one " ? When you live under fear of what might happen, you are so physically exhausted

that you are unable to be creative and cope with normal challenges or emergencies that

might happen. Make a vow to yourself today to cross a bridge only as you come to it.

You must take back your power in life by staying in

the present and dealing with the realities. You are not a victim of circumstance; you make

your own internal environment. You are the creator of your life by your thoughts and

actions. Your sub-conscious mind will produce whatever you ask for; just as a computer

doesn’t care what information you put in, it will act on that information. We must

stop letting worry control us.

observed: " The fountain of

content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as

to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in

fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove. "

GUILT LEAKS

Our society has conditioned us to

feel guilty. It’s a learned emotional response. We have been taught to believe that

if you feel guilty, it shows that you’re a good person who cares. Guilt is a neurotic

behavior that our society has come to accept as normal. It has nothing to do with caring.

It’s pure manipulation to control other people. Since the pain of guilt makes us feel

so bad, we will do just about anything to please others so we do not have to feel guilty.

By feeling guilty in an attempt to show that we are

sorry for our actions and really care, we are in reality simply getting into a very

unresourceful state of mind and beating ourselves up in an attempt to change what is now

history. The past is a locked door, and whatever occurred cannot be changed. Your regret

doesn’t make things any better. Feeling guilty has never fixed any problem. Guilt

simply holds you prisoner of the past and immobilizes you from taking resourceful action

in the present. The more you dwell in the guilty state of mind, the less creative you can

be in dealing with your responsibilities of the present. Now is all you have in life

— the future is created by the choices and steps you take today.

We choose how to use our life energy. To really be a

fully functioning person, you must learn from the past, not whip yourself because of it.

Mistakes should be treated like a speck of dust in the eye: you identify the problem;

instead of condemning yourself or feeling guilty for having it, you quite simply just get

rid of it. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be free from the problem.

Many people ask how it could be in our best interest

to forgive someone who has betrayed, humiliated, abused, or rejected us? Over the

centuries, re-ligious leaders have counseled us to turn the other cheek; today’s

mental health professionals emphasize that forgiveness implies that you’re

re-sponsible for your own emotional needs and well being.

Since you only have so much mental, physical,

spiritual, and emotional life energy, if you spend it holding onto negative or angry

feelings, whom do you really hurt? Yourself, of course. When you are plotting revenge,

going over what you would like to say in your mind, you drain positive creative energy

that could be used in a more resourceful way, such as getting some projects done or having

fun. You never hurt the person you are holding the grudge against. You end up hurting only

yourself because of the time and energy wasted.

Food for thought — is it possible to

reframe this situation in your mind? Remembering that people do the best they can with the

knowledge they have, you can choose to forgive them. That doesn’t mean you agree with

what they did. Maybe the bottom line is that they didn’t really mean to hurt you.

According to Sidney and Suzanne Simon’s book, Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with

Your Past and Get on with Your Life, " Forgiveness is a by-product of a long

process of healing, and only after you acknowledge, work through, and then let go of hurt

can you lead a full life. " They went on to say, " Forgiveness does not mean

condoning what someone did, or forgetting it, or absolving that person from

responsibility. Forgiveness doesn’t mean they get off scot-free. It means you get off

scot-free; you do it for yourself. "

To forgive someone doesn’t mean

you have to write or call or even go to see them. All you have to do is forgive and

release them in your mind. Every time you think of that person, do a pattern-interrupt on

yourself and say to yourself that you forgive and release them, and then send them

positive thoughts. The advantage of using this type of approach is that the next time you

see them or someone else brings up their name, you’ll no longer have that negative

emotional reaction. You’ve raised your standards of living and given yourself the

leverage to create emotional management for yourself; you achieve this by forgiving them

and letting go of the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying that needlessly drains

you of energy.

According to mental-health pro-fessionals, taking

responsibility for your own feelings by choosing to forgive can boost your self-esteem and

your ability to feel in control of your destiny. Studies have shown that when people are

able to forgive and let go of their hurt and/or anger, it can open the way to resolving

seemingly uncon-nected problems such as compulsive overeating, drugs, alcohol abuse, and

depression. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose but self-pity, anger, and

resentment if you give yourself permission to forgive and release. Being 100 percent

responsible for yourself extracts you from the perspective of being a victim. The act of

forgiveness gives you the peace of mind. I love the old saying, " The best revenge is

living well! "

FORGIVE YOURSELF

We are really toughest on ourselves

and usually expect to be perfect. If you live your present life by comparing yourself to

the mistakes of the past, you only undermine your confidence level. What you focus on

expands for you. If you focus on and relive your mistakes or failures, you are simply

reinforcing why you cannot succeed in the present. Never reinforce the negative! Instead,

spend your life energy focusing on what you can do.

Everyone has a few skeletons in their closets. When

I look back on some of my mistakes, recalling the times I’ve hurt people and said or

done the wrong thing, I have to acknowledge that I was doing the best I could at the time

with my knowledge, skills, and resources. It’s clear I made mistakes, but I

can’t continue beating myself up in the present, futilely attempting to change

history with my bad feelings or guilt. I must have the courage to face myself, accept the

learning experience, and move on. I also want to remind you that your entire life will be

a matter of making mistakes and failing from time to time. The point is to forgive

yourself, learn the valuable in-formation, and move on. This one act of releasing the

past, and not letting it use up any more of your life energy, will free you to be more at

peace with yourself. Releasing that stored up negative energy that has been clogging up

your system will open your creative channels of energy and you will become more

productive.

From " Success is an Inside Job,

" by Lee Milteer Copyright 1996 by Lee Milteer .

Printed with permission from Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.

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