Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 In a message dated 9/8/2006 4:16:21 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes: I was thinking conversley in this country it is getting to be quite a nanny state, where children are no longer allowed to climb trees and often school trips are stopped due to parents sueing if someone falls over or whatever - just wondering if this seeking of thrills and andrenaline is some sort of backlash against not been able to have a more free childhood? Just musing :-) You could be right. There are groups out there trying to get most playground toys banned. They want things like the old jungle gyms and monkey bars banned as being too dangerous. They also want the ground around the few items they do allow to be coated in foam and rubber to soften falls. They say some 200,000 kids are hurt on playgrounds every year, but I doubt that too many of those are very serious. We used to get banged up sometimes, but it was scrapes and bruises and such. The sports teams suffered much worse injuries than we did, but of course no one is talking about banning them. We are turning into a nanny state, though much of it has to do with lawyers and lawsuits. Schools and other places are terrifies that if a kid falls and gets a scrape, let alone break an arm, that some lawyer will come trotting up with a multimillion dollar lawsuit. It happens, unfortunately. My opinion is that this could be solved by closing down over half of the law schools, starting with those most famed for cranking out tort lawyers and reforming the tort law system. More lawyers only means more trouble and we currently have a major glut of them, which makes them have to drum up phony suits to make money. Cut the numbers and they'd be too busy with real cases to push the nonsense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 In a message dated 9/8/2006 4:16:21 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes: I was thinking conversley in this country it is getting to be quite a nanny state, where children are no longer allowed to climb trees and often school trips are stopped due to parents sueing if someone falls over or whatever - just wondering if this seeking of thrills and andrenaline is some sort of backlash against not been able to have a more free childhood? Just musing :-) You could be right. There are groups out there trying to get most playground toys banned. They want things like the old jungle gyms and monkey bars banned as being too dangerous. They also want the ground around the few items they do allow to be coated in foam and rubber to soften falls. They say some 200,000 kids are hurt on playgrounds every year, but I doubt that too many of those are very serious. We used to get banged up sometimes, but it was scrapes and bruises and such. The sports teams suffered much worse injuries than we did, but of course no one is talking about banning them. We are turning into a nanny state, though much of it has to do with lawyers and lawsuits. Schools and other places are terrifies that if a kid falls and gets a scrape, let alone break an arm, that some lawyer will come trotting up with a multimillion dollar lawsuit. It happens, unfortunately. My opinion is that this could be solved by closing down over half of the law schools, starting with those most famed for cranking out tort lawyers and reforming the tort law system. More lawyers only means more trouble and we currently have a major glut of them, which makes them have to drum up phony suits to make money. Cut the numbers and they'd be too busy with real cases to push the nonsense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 In a message dated 9/8/2006 11:35:58 AM Eastern Standard Time, 6emini@... writes: Your message brought to mind the time I told my husband that gang bangers should be given target practice and taught how to fire a weapon properly, that way they would hit what they are shooting at and not some innocent bystander.Kim That's been a common suggestion and even Mencia made a skit about that. Actually from what I have been hearing over the years, many gangs are sending members into the military for combat training. A friend of mine in the 1990's was in special operations and he said that they would indeed catch soldiers up to no good. One thing they would do was to have a couple of men from his unit on rooftops with nightvision gear watching parking lots. When they saw someone breaking into cars, they would call in the MPs who would arrest them. Almost always they were soldiers and some of them had gang affiliation. I think it would be more entertaining to set teams of them in a mock up city block in a lethal version of capture the flag. Armored cameras could be set up all over the place and it could be pay per view. Sounds barbaric, but I'll be you it would be a big seller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 , the guy who uses deadpan humor with no intonation when telling a joke? He's great! Kim > (My favorite comics are Steve when he's doing his definitely non- commercial work- and his earlier movie work, and - as just two examples.) > > Heph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 , the guy who uses deadpan humor with no intonation when telling a joke? He's great! Kim > (My favorite comics are Steve when he's doing his definitely non- commercial work- and his earlier movie work, and - as just two examples.) > > Heph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Hi Kim, His wife, tells him he is dumb, or acts stupid. When he asks for help she takes over the job rather than asking him what kind of help he wants, and she purposly makes him feel stupid when he asks for help. This is comming from her, she wants to know why he over reacts when she makes him feel stupid, its dificult to explain, without going into to much detail, but she really does abuse him. and he is so cowtowed by her that he doesn't even see it, and defends her abuse, poor guy. BethKim <6emini@...> wrote: What types of comments? Growing up with verbal abuse myself makes me wonder why those who dish it out don't care if they undermine a person's self esteem.Kim> There is an Aspie who has been so lambasted by his significant > other that he sees verbal abuse as being loving comments of a > loving spouse. The Aspie admins are not fooled.> > Tom> Administrator Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Hi Kim, His wife, tells him he is dumb, or acts stupid. When he asks for help she takes over the job rather than asking him what kind of help he wants, and she purposly makes him feel stupid when he asks for help. This is comming from her, she wants to know why he over reacts when she makes him feel stupid, its dificult to explain, without going into to much detail, but she really does abuse him. and he is so cowtowed by her that he doesn't even see it, and defends her abuse, poor guy. BethKim <6emini@...> wrote: What types of comments? Growing up with verbal abuse myself makes me wonder why those who dish it out don't care if they undermine a person's self esteem.Kim> There is an Aspie who has been so lambasted by his significant > other that he sees verbal abuse as being loving comments of a > loving spouse. The Aspie admins are not fooled.> > Tom> Administrator Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Laughter promotes healing and I'm using it often when I'm with my Mom during her doctors visits. I crack some pretty horrible jokes and make short quips about things I see as ironic in order to relieve my Mom's tension. Even if my sense of humor is bad (sometimes downright aweful) she'll still laugh. Kim > I think the idea is that if we can laugh about our tragedies then > it makes them easier to bear, and Mel is talking about laughing at > himself, but our society has taken it too far, I think. Maybe it > says how much in pain everyone is, and they do it to cope. I myself > laugh too much--I seem to find humor everywhere and use it to make > thingsmore lighthearted and easier to bear, because sometimes > people take little things too seriously. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Errrrrrrr control freak? I notice quite a few aspies seem to attract control freaks :-( > > > There is an Aspie who has been so lambasted by his significant > > other that he sees verbal abuse as being loving comments of a > > loving spouse. The Aspie admins are not fooled. > > > > Tom > > Administrator > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Stay in the know. Pulse on the new .com. Check it out. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 I'm jealous Tom, I've only gotten signature stamped letters back. The only time I've seen a direct effect of my writing was when the teacher at my children's school " retired " after my campaign to have her dismissed. My Mom's letter to the hospital where she had her surgery did have a positive effect. She was unsure as to whether she should send her complaints and I encouraged her to send it for the sake of all patients who must be admitted at that hospital. She received a call from an administrator and was glad to hear changes would be made because of her input. Kim > > I am a great believer in activism...> > I enjoy writing protest letters and quite often I do actually get > responses from senators and representatives, foreign officials or > company executives, that are NOT merely form letters, and I have > seen legislation passed that is in direct accordance with things > that I have asked them to work on. > Any Aspie cn do it, and I thank you Nick for pointing out this fact > to people and for telling us the positive feeling that has resulted > from your efforts. > > Tom > Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Your message brought to mind the time I told my husband that gang bangers should be given target practice and taught how to fire a weapon properly, that way they would hit what they are shooting at and not some innocent bystander. Kim Perhaps they could pay their bill and get a thrill by being sent into gang town and cleaning graffiti off the walls. The idea of a gang banger catching them doing this and shooting them or beating them up should give them a whole knew kind of adrenaline rush, and they would be doing something constructive. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Climbing trees in my mind is just one of those many things kids ought to be doing. It gives them an idea of what their bodies are capable of. If you look at animals in the animal world, animal moms allow their children to play for this reason. Wild cats often chase their young up trees to teach them the skill of climbing and getting down. Tom Administrator I was thinking conversley in this country it is getting to be quite a nanny state, where children are no longer allowed to climb trees and often school trips are stopped due to parents sueing if someone falls over or whatever - just wondering if this seeking of thrills and andrenaline is some sort of backlash against not been able to have a more free childhood? Just musing :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Don't forget about the wacky bipolar people like my hubby who almost can not help himself from doing stupid stunts for the rush. Yes, he's paid a price in bodily injuries and broken equipment. He thinks he's learned his lesson but after a few months (the bipolar cycle) he'll be thinking about doing something new and dangerous. Is it better to have adrenaline junkies doing wild and crazy things than to have them take a drug to find that same feeling? Kim > Agreed. Maybe there are some clauses in some insurance policies that exclude certain sports or activities. Mike and I were discussing why people love extreme sports. Adrenaline rush? Need a challenge? Have it all? Bored? We noted that it was a certain sex and race that mainly has the desire for extreme activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 I cannot reproduce the exact quotes here without permission. But let's just say he has been called stupid and dumb and has been told his intelligence is infantile. For the verbally abusive person, it may not be an issue of caring or not caring but simply assuming such commentary is normal if such language was used in his or her own household growing up. Tom Administrator What types of comments? Growing up with verbal abuse myself makes me wonder why those who dish it out don't care if they undermine a person's self esteem. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 I don't like spam! Kim > > Do we all like Monty Python? > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Kim wrote: " Don't forget about the wacky bipolar people like my hubby who almost can not help himself from doing stupid stunts for the rush. Yes, he's paid a price in bodily injuries and broken equipment. He thinks he's learned his lesson but after a few months (the bipolar cycle) he'll be thinking about doing something new and dangerous. Is it better to have adrenaline junkies doing wild and crazy things than to have them take a drug to find that same feeling? " I think they were speaking in general terms about people who only do these sorts of things because they 'want' to not because they have a compulsion to do so due to a medical condition. Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 It's how the letters are worded. Here is how to get a personalized response: I work collaboratively with a whole bunch of people to write a senator or representative. They write letters by e-mail with a cc to me so I know the letters have been sent. I have them list their professional positions in their signature. The initial flood of letters has signitures like President of ACME or Jane Doe President of AJAX That sounds much better than " " or " Jane Doe " And then I write my letter afterwards saying that I will be having these people write him with our join concerns to make it sound like I wrote the first letter and have the backing of all these people. I will insert things in there that " Jane Doe, President of AJAX, seems to be of the opinion that...and many of her employees surely feel the same. " When you have many people -many high positioned people- from a representative district write in and imply that there are many more that feel the same way as you, the result is usually a personalized letter or sometimes legislation. My biggest triumph to dte is getting people to save the Columbia Basin Pygmy Rabbits from extinction. There were 30 left in the world and they were all concentrated in one place where a housing development was to be built. The government saved them, although they are no longer pure-bread due to infiltration by other rabbit species. Tom Administrator I'm jealous Tom, I've only gotten signature stamped letters back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Me neither but like the song, spam makes me feel like mr big. BethKim <6emini@...> wrote: I don't like spam!Kim> > Do we all like Monty Python?> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Talk is cheap. Use Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.> All-new - Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 We wouldn't know if they have a condition that leads to the reckless behavior and it may be that many/most do and even they don't know it or have never been diagnosed. We don't like being judged for our quirks and I just wanted to put a reminder out that if someone acts " stupid " it may have a cause. Kim " Don't forget about the wacky bipolar people like my hubby > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Thanks Tom, I'll work with your letter writing suggestions. Your activism is incredible and it's good to know it can be done. It's sad to see a species wiped out or only bred in captivity all in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. I've read about a program that instead of cutting down an area to produce crops for money, the community learned how to breed or cultivate butterflies and ship them out while they are in the cocoon state to earn money. It would be great if more, less developed places around the globe would learn how to use enviromentaly safe ways to preserve the land. Kim > > It's how the letters are worded. > My biggest triumph to dte is getting people to save the Columbia > Basin Pygmy Rabbits from extinction. There were 30 left in the world > and they were all concentrated in one place where a housing > development was to be built. > > The government saved them, although they are no longer pure-bread due > to infiltration by other rabbit species. > > Tom > Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Rather than identify those WITH the condition, maybe it would be easier to identify those WITHOUT the condition? LOL. Raven " Don't forget about the wacky bipolar people like my > hubby > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Rather than identify those WITH the condition, maybe it would be easier to identify those WITHOUT the condition? LOL. Raven " Don't forget about the wacky bipolar people like my > hubby > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Good point. Yes, watching my child grow up might help me recall more of my childhood. If it does happen, that might be cool. But, on the other hand, I won't expect it to happen. Yes, if the memories don't surface, I'm sure there will be other things that might surface, such as emotions, etc. This will probably happen, whether I am aware of it or not. Sometimes it's hard to " tune into " yourself (myself). Dan > Do you think maybe as your child grows up certain situations > will bring > recall of events from your past to light? Do you think even if the > memories do not surface emotions or gut reations stemming from your > childhood will be present? > > Kim > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 > " For the verbally abusive person, it may not be an issue of caring or > not caring but simply assuming such commentary is normal if such > language was used in his or her own household growing up. " The person needs to be aware of what they're doing and make the effort to change. Verbal abuse was in my household as well. I hated it so much that I was aware of it, but still found myself resorting to it when stressed or angry. I've worked on it to the point where I no longer resort to it. To stop I counted to 10 and then thought of sentences to use that were neutral and kept my tone calm. Now I've worked it out of my personality. One of my sisters is verbally abusive and when I try to tell her what she's doing she says, 'No, I'm not' and 'That's just the way I am.' I've thought about recording her when she gets that way and playing it back, but I never got the chance to. I think a lot depends on how much the person is willing to see what they're doing and how willing they are to change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Spam fritters used to be part of the menu on school dinners and I could never understand why school dinners could never make decent custard or gravy; it was always a choice of extremely lumpy or water thin. > > > > Spam spam spam spam spam spam, lots of spam wonderful spam. Gotta > look on the bright side of life. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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