Guest guest Posted July 16, 2001 Report Share Posted July 16, 2001 Does anyone know if a child can be worked with for empathy? Thanks, NG [ ] OFF TOPIC- autism and intelligence testing >Hey, > >We are in a bind currently with our school district. The district is insisting that they can only write all of Landon's goals, decide placement, and decide services AFTER Landon has undergone psychological testing. We are not consenting to this because we know that they have ulterior motives. They are going to propose he be changed from a reg. ed. classroom to a segregated special ed classroom. They also know that by law they have to have a current eval to propose that type of change in placement. NEVER in the past five years have they relied on IQ tests to write goals and decide placement. > >I need to know how to access a study that someone has told me about in the past that stated that children with autism do poorly on these type tests and that these tests are invalid and do not truly reflect their intelllect, etc. Is there such a study?? I think there is, but cannot seem to locate it on my internet searches. Can anyone help????? > >Let's not even mention the whole LRE thing. Our district has a totally different definition of Least Restrictive Environment. That is a whole separate discussion. > >Please email me privately with your responses. mont@... > > >Thanks, > >Trina > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2001 Report Share Posted July 16, 2001 > Does anyone know if a child can be worked with for empathy? > > Thanks, > NG > I know of a few NT people who could benefit from a little also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2001 Report Share Posted July 17, 2001 Yes. Commitee for Children puts out a nice Second Step program. My son has progressed well with this program. Falls under a violence prevention program. Works well with Asperger's children....Joni >From: " Neena Garza " <ngarza@...> >Reply- >< > >Subject: [ ] Re: Empathy >Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 16:53:26 -0500 > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 dscheppke <dscheppke@...> wrote: He does not have empathy at all but he will say he is sorry if prompted. It seems to be a very egocentric thing because watch out if someone hurts him. ***Yes, and this from what I have read is a very AS kind of thing. My son's last teacher mentioned the word " egocentric " when she described my 4 yr old. I know he is only 4 but its not going to go away in my opinion. It hopefully lessens though. We are having a great deal of difficulty with school this year because he is in the 7th grade and the kids have really isolated him to the point that if he sits at a table the other kids will get up and leave. He was in tears the other day when this happened. I felt so bad for him. I was always a loner in school and had only a few friends but I was never called a geek or the names they are calling my son. ***I wish I had some advice....I know we might be here in a couple of years. My self dx'd Aspie dh got involved in his personal interests like drama and choir....then he fit in. Is there something he really likes to do and can a group be formed? Even if its an afterschool kind of thing? I am really feeling alone in this and wonder what the future will hold for him. He really can be very smart in some areas and then other things like organization just elude him. EVery day is a struggle, it seems. I saw some of you mentioned the temper tantrums and we have had our share of those. My son seems like he gets to a point where he just can't take it all any more and he has to vent. He actually has permission to visit the guidance office at school if he feels a tantrum coming on because he gets so mad and overwhelmed sometimes he has to let it out. I hope some of you out there can respond to me and make me feel like I am not alone. *** Dawn, You are not alone! You are in good company here! Johanna Thanks, Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2003 Report Share Posted November 1, 2003 Welcome. And know that you are not alone. Most of us are going through the same types of issues. Hugs, a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2003 Report Share Posted November 2, 2003 Hi Dawn, don't feel alone in this...i think all our kids have that same problem. has actually laughed when I fell but if he gets hurt look out. He also had the kids run from him at recess & not sit with him at lunch so we got an aide but still had that problem NOW he is in a special school with 4 kids to a classroom + the teacher & 2 aides. This is much better. He still has social problems,bad table maners, & a temper tantrums.He will be 12. We also have Wrap Around Services.Family Home Base Services & an Intense Case Manager.Sometimes I feel he will always be the same but sometimes I can see an improvement here & there. He just started tying his shoes last year but he is very smart. He has been in advanced reading since 1st grade. Still sucking the thumb & doesn't care who sees him. Hang in there,Betty dscheppke <dscheppke@...> wrote: Hi, I am new to the group and we have just been diagnosed with Asperger's. From all the research I have done so far I can see that my son is " high functioning " but that doesn't mean we don't have our frustrations. I read some of the stories that people have written in books and I am thankful that he is as " normal " as he is but some days I could just cry or tear my hair out. I wanted to respond to the empathy thing. My son is 12 now and this has always been a problem with him. He does not have empathy at all but he will say he is sorry if prompted. It seems to be a very egocentric thing because watch out if someone hurts him. We are having a great deal of difficulty with school this year because he is in the 7th grade and the kids have really isolated him to the point that if he sits at a table the other kids will get up and leave. He was in tears the other day when this happened. I felt so bad for him. I was always a loner in school and had only a few friends but I was never called a geek or the names they are calling my son. I am really feeling alone in this and wonder what the future will hold for him. He really can be very smart in some areas and then other things like organization just elude him. EVery day is a struggle, it seems. I saw some of you mentioned the temper tantrums and we have had our share of those. My son seems like he gets to a point where he just can't take it all any more and he has to vent. He actually has permission to visit the guidance office at school if he feels a tantrum coming on because he gets so mad and overwhelmed sometimes he has to let it out. I hope some of you out there can respond to me and make me feel like I am not alone. Thanks, Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 Someone told me online yesterday that there cat was missing, I then thought it was ran over. Today I was told it was ran over, the person was upset. I didnt feel much then wondered why, then felt a bit guitly for feeling nothing, if it was my cat I would. Turning In Big BrotherMy First Authored BookOnline For Free..http://www.nathanyoung.net Cheap Talk? Check out Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 When I originally took the EQ test, that supposedly rates one's empathy I was quite upset to get such a low score - very low :-( I thought how can this be correct, I do care about people and other things. However on reflection of the test I realised that my problem area I think is understanding what another is feeling (not a lack of caring) - I am not a mind reader and therefore I cannot always tell what another is feeling. So first I have to recognise there is a problem, i.e a person is upset and what are they upset about and why and then I have to figure out how to respond to such. None of this is generally natural, because I dislike to make assumptions. Also saying 'there, there, it will all be okay' well what's the point in saying that if I don't know if everything will be okay? As for physically comforting someone, well I am tactile sensitive and I would not just invade someone elses space unless I knew such was welcome - not everyone likes hugs - so just to blindly go in hugging to me would be wrong. Also I wonder how much empathy do non aspies have really? I've often had non aspies say 'I understand' this from people who don't even know me? How can they understand? I don't think anyone can fully understand another person. I am not going to say 'I understand' because that is just an assumption (and likely an incorrect one at that) - I could say 'I think I understand' but I do not know for certain - how could I ever know for certain what another person is feeling - I am not them - they are not me. I often say I can relate, if something someone has said strikes a chord in me that is something familiar, something I can relate to. I must admit it really annoys me when non aspies say that those on the spectrum do not have empathy. I once ended up arguing with a previous teacher of my son's that he did and does have empathy - she just would not accept it :-( Fortunately his new school recognises that he does have empathy and is a wonderful caring child - just some could not see such for their own ignorance and set beleifs of what autism is and isn't :-( > > > Perhaps the most common word I see in the literature about Asperger > is " empathy " , which is a major cause of my hesitation feeling > comfortable with that diagnosis. > I find 3 relevant levels of empathy: > 1. LOGICAL empathy is not emotional, but rather intellectual. It is > what is tested in the famous test where we must put ourself in a > doll's place to figure out what the doll could know about hidden > objects. We would also need this ability to describe something to > someone who is in a different viewpoint, such as when showing written > material to someone facing us, to know to turn the paper around so > that he may see it right side up. We would need this ability even if > communicating to a machine. It has nothing to do with feelings. It is > logical, and to have trouble with this would be an intellectual > defect. I have caught myself making errors in this but only if I'm > not thinking. > 2.INSTINCTIVE empathy is a direct unlearned feeling assumption about > how someone else feels. If you bang your hand with a hammer, I will > gringe instinctively, and I will actually be in a type of pain, as if > my hand was hit. The important thing to know here is that even if I > know that your hand felt no pain, I will still cringe...it is an > instinct. > When I was a toddler, if I saw a pillow at the foot of the bed being > neglected, I would embrace it and tell it that it was the most > important thing on the bed, in other words, I would empathize with > the pillow's sadness, instinctively feeling that it does feel > sadness. I would also cry if a ticking clock was neglected or hurt. > This was instinctive and of course had nothing to do with what those > items really felt, which was probably nothing. > Unlike logical empathy, instinctive empathy assumes that the other > person feels the same as us in similar situations. If they are > different than us, the instinct would be erroneous, and we would be > accused of having an empathy defect. Thus there are two types of > defect possible here. In one, we have an empathic reaction, but it is > not what the other person feels; this is ERRONEOUS empathy. The other > is just a LACK of EMPATHIC REACTION. > Is the defect I read so much about relating to Asperger ERRONEOUS > empathy caused by being different than other people, or is it LACK of > EMPATHIC REACTION? I may have the former, but definitely not the > latter. > > 3.TRUE empathy is actually feeling what another feels, not just an > assumed simulation. This is probably impossible and cannot exist in > anyone. > > 4. In TRUE COMPASSION we may or may not know accurately how another > feels, but we care, and the caring is direct. I currently believe > this is compatible with AS, because Temple Grandin is dedicated to > the feelings of others, such as cows. She cared but the NTs didn't. > > Zylon > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 Well I think I can relate to this :-) If it was my cat of course I am going to be upset. If it is a cat I do not know it isn't going to really affect me that much, but I can relate, understand to some extent that the person whose cat it is, is likely to be upset. I can figure it out logically, but cannot force myself to feel something that I do not naturally feel. I can even equate this to people. When Princess died it seemed the whole country went into mourning, England (not all, but a vast majority) I felt nothing - I did not know her personally - I felt sad that her children had lost their mother, but did not mourn for Di herself; many considered me heartless. I am more likely to get upset when I see injustices in the world, people and particularly children and animals being mistreated, even nature being mistreated. > > Someone told me online yesterday that there cat was missing, I then thought it was ran over. Today I was told it was ran over, the person was upset. I didnt feel much then wondered why, then felt a bit guitly for feeling nothing, if it was my cat I would. > > > > > Turning In Big Brother > My First Authored Book > Online For Free.. > http://www.nathanyoung.net > > --------------------------------- > Cheap Talk? Check out Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 Well no reason to feel bad then about not feeling bad.greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: Well I think I can relate to this :-) If it was my cat of course I am going to be upset. If it is a cat I do not know it isn't going to really affect me that much, but I can relate, understand to some extent that the person whose cat it is, is likely to be upset. I can figure it out logically, but cannot force myself to feel something that I do not naturally feel. I can even equate this to people. When Princess died it seemed the whole country went into mourning, England (not all, but a vast majority) I felt nothing - I did not know her personally - I felt sad that her children had lost their mother, but did not mourn for Di herself; many considered me heartless. I am more likely to get upset when I see injustices in the world, people and particularly children and animals being mistreated, even nature being mistreated. Turning In Big BrotherMy First Authored BookOnline For Free..http://www.nathanyoung.net Need a quick answer? Get one in minutes from people who know. Ask your question on Answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 I don't feel bad about not feeling bad :-) I was just giving examples that sometimes people expect us to feel things we do not and it is unreasonable to expect someone to feel something they do not. As I said I cannot force myself to feel something I cannot - I can offer condolences and understand to some extent that another is hurting over something, but cannot force myself to hurt over something that I do not hurt over - Mmmmmm not sure I explaining this well enough? Well I think I can relate to this :-) > > If it was my cat of course I am going to be upset. If it is a cat I > do not know it isn't going to really affect me that much, but I can > relate, understand to some extent that the person whose cat it is, is > likely to be upset. I can figure it out logically, but cannot force > myself to feel something that I do not naturally feel. > > I can even equate this to people. When Princess died it seemed > the whole country went into mourning, England (not all, but a vast > majority) I felt nothing - I did not know her personally - I felt sad > that her children had lost their mother, but did not mourn for Di > herself; many considered me heartless. I am more likely to get upset > when I see injustices in the world, people and particularly children > and animals being mistreated, even nature being mistreated. > > > > > > > > > > Turning In Big Brother > My First Authored Book > Online For Free.. > http://www.nathanyoung.net > > --------------------------------- > Need a quick answer? Get one in minutes from people who know. Ask your question on Answers. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around does it make a sound?Yes, however endured differently by the reciever. For instance vibrations to plants..If a cat dies and it is not mine do I really care? I am disturbed by it and don't wish to be party to it's reality...greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: I don't feel bad about not feeling bad :-) I was just giving examples that sometimes people expect us to feel things we do not and it is unreasonable to expect someone to feel something they do not. As I said I cannot force myself to feel something I cannot - I can offer condolences and understand to some extent that another is hurting over something, but cannot force myself to hurt over something that I do not hurt over - Mmmmmm not sure I explaining this well enough? Turning In Big BrotherMy First Authored BookOnline For Free..http://www.nathanyoung.net Everyone is raving about the all-new beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 Zylon, again You may have found the world a cold place and so you placed feeling where you felt the lack. Perhaps these were your ways to give yourself the comforting you did not recieve from your parents. Again I can empathize, and even feel physical sadness over your discription as this applied to myself. My mother, didn't support me, never reached out to love me. She corrected me, forced me , punished me and belittled every achievement. I wanted to be an artist, and although no Old Master, she belittled my work and said it was substandard, I can never look at tippy the turtle. I have actually painted murals (I will have to take a picture and post it) My mother (I was 33 and way pst art school) said, wow, I am actually impressed. A near blessing of sainthood from my mother who stated at my prom, " My g'd you actually almost look human " my date who was a friend and not a date said in my defense ha ha (how do I look) about himself Very often the NT experience excapes me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2006 Report Share Posted December 4, 2006 I think that is an excellent explaination , and pretty much what I had wanted to express. you did it better mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 Hello all, especially and , The empathy problem I read about Aspies from psychology sources.does not refer to any moral or ethical defect, rather only one of perception and knowledge. (e.g. reading facial experssions). In other words, its not the caring which is missing, but the knowing. I can tell that I am blind to much of what goes on during social interactions, but it is more a blindnes omly to aspects of them which I do not have myself, such as status behavior. Also, it is not even good to care about what you have no control over, such as someone else's cat, as long as you care about what you DO have control over (i.e. if you are able to help) because this world is always full of hurts, and it would not do you or them any good if your life is ruined by it. As far as Princes Di's death, they were not really upset over it, they were just enjoying the togetherness of sharing a common bond (i.e. mourning her death). Zylon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 Mimi, My mother was very affectionate and never pushed or punished me. In fact, I was virtually never punished within my family. If you are refering to the " love " I gave my pillow as a 2 and 3 year old, this was before I ever experienced the world outside my family. It was an inborn instinctive over-empathy. But the feelings you tell about I have experienced very much in the outside world, away from my family, begining at age 4 such as kindergarten and school... This resulted in my almost total withdrawal from society. As I got older, it kept getting worse. Not only from society itself, but from everything I learned about society. The learning about how hopeless it is completed itself with therapists who were supposed to help me. Instead, their total lack of understanding just served to confirm all that I feared. Very often, those who have learned self defect from their own parents really were just learning the defect of their parents, finding the outside world much friendlier. But in my case it is the other way around, where my parents accepted me much better than the outside world did. Zylon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 This will sound bitter, but it is not intended to be. I often think of the world, and the place of AS people in it, in terms of the Planet of the Apes movies. Who God and/or nature places in a possition of authority is out of our control, but it does seem that the more intelligent people are in the minority. (I actually think this may be a GOOD thing in that it prevents us from advancing the world to a place where unintelligent people would not be able to survive in it.) However, it is still a bad thing because, rather than accept us and what we have to offer the world at face value, the popular " norm " disounts us entirely due to our quirkiness and this IMPEDES the advancement of humanity. I can honestly say that sometimes I understand how subjugated races must have felt/must feel when subjugated by their supposedly superior fellow humans. Tom Administrator This resulted in my almost total withdrawal from society. As I got older, it kept getting worse. Not only from society itself, but from everything I learned about society. The learning about how hopeless it is completed itself with therapists who were supposed to help me. Instead, their total lack of understanding just served to confirm all that I feared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 Naturally I felt bad that such a tragedy happened. However, I was fairly unsympathetic during 's mortal plight. In a way I felt she got what was coming to her and that something similar was in the cards for her if her rowdy lifestyle persisted. Yes, the marriage with her and Price was a rocky one. We know what both did to contribute to its demise. Yet 's personality was not suited to royalty in the first place and she ought not to have married with promises of assuming her role as would be Queen and then behaving like a college sorority queen. If one is going to marry into royalty, it requires that one assume its responsibilities. She liked the party lifestyle and that is what killed her in the end. I would rather she be alive than dead, but as I said, as I watched events unfold on the day of the accident, I thought it was her just desserts. Tom Administrator When Princess died it seemed the whole country went into mourning, England (not all, but a vast majority) I felt nothing - I did not know her personally - I felt sad that her children had lost their mother, but did not mourn for Di herself; many considered me heartless. I am more likely to get upset when I see injustices in the world, people and particularly children and animals being mistreated, even nature being mistreated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 Naturally I felt bad that such a tragedy happened. However, I was fairly unsympathetic during 's mortal plight. In a way I felt she got what was coming to her and that something similar was in the cards for her if her rowdy lifestyle persisted. Yes, the marriage with her and Price was a rocky one. We know what both did to contribute to its demise. Yet 's personality was not suited to royalty in the first place and she ought not to have married with promises of assuming her role as would be Queen and then behaving like a college sorority queen. If one is going to marry into royalty, it requires that one assume its responsibilities. She liked the party lifestyle and that is what killed her in the end. I would rather she be alive than dead, but as I said, as I watched events unfold on the day of the accident, I thought it was her just desserts. Tom Administrator When Princess died it seemed the whole country went into mourning, England (not all, but a vast majority) I felt nothing - I did not know her personally - I felt sad that her children had lost their mother, but did not mourn for Di herself; many considered me heartless. I am more likely to get upset when I see injustices in the world, people and particularly children and animals being mistreated, even nature being mistreated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2006 Report Share Posted December 5, 2006 Tom wrote: > > This will sound bitter, but it is not intended to be. > > I often think of the world, and the place of AS people in it, in terms > of the Planet of the Apes movies. > > Who God and/or nature places in a possition of authority is out of our > control, but it does seem that the more intelligent people are in the > minority. I feel this way too. Not bitter but lonely, sad, like watching an avoidable accident. I see peoples interactions and I can see where the errors in communication are, where the misunderstanding breeds anger, confusion and I want to step in. Not because I am superior but because I see it. This happens sometimes but then I get treated like an oracle (I am not one) although my name is miriam. But usually I feel most or I did before here feel like Ophelia. Crazy, doomed to know but never be believed, or able to help. An interesting character for Shakespere to develop perhaps he felt this way. Conversely I am far more comfortable disseminating information that chatting about nothing and I blush, am silent and feel foolish. mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009 I think they have empathy but sometimes are too much in their own world to attend to it. In the case with the bike his intense desire to ride was in his head so he didn't pick up on your husband's pain. I feel that my son has become more and more able to show his empathy. Sometimes he's MORE empathetic than typical but also gets overwhelmed by it. If sees a kid getting yelled at or hit by an adult he can get quite upset. He yells at the adult and then cries as if someone has been hitting him. We first saw his empathy when he became protective of animals. He won't tolerate people hurting animals. He called someone a murderer at the beach last year when they smashed a mussel on a rock. It may seem like they don't have empathy sometimes when they get in a situation that requires them to attend to their own self interest AND someone else's pain. They just can't keep those both in their heads at the same time if they are obsessing about something they desperately want to do. Well, this is my observation anyway. It's how my son seems to be. His teachers all say he definitely HAS empathy. This is a great thing because if it's there at all I think there's a good chance of strengthening it. If no empathy ever happens it might be hard to somehow help a kid to get it. I don't really think kids with AS totally lack empathy, though. Miriam > > Hello... I was wondering how you all view empathy, or the possible lack there of in your AS kids? My son is just now being evaluated, but I can really see many signs of AS in him now. However, in our case he does not have too much problem with routines, he is ok if things change most of the time. But I have not really felt he had trouble with empathy, although I think maybe I just don't see it. How do you all see it? Last night my husband was holding my son on our exercise bike and the pedal hurt my husband. I noticed my son had no reaction and, in fact, went on complaining he wanted to get back on the bike, rather than have any reaction to my husband hurting himself. It was the first time I really noticed my son not having empathy. Do you all see it often or is it something that just doesn't show up that obviously except now and then? Just wondering... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009  Empathy Levels of Empathy Diffrent Types of Empath Last week we touched on a bit of the history of empathy. Today we will learn about the many levels to empathy. There are several Intuitive Empathy, Emotional or mpathy…is to sense or feel within ourselves, attitudes or emotions from others. Precognition….is emotions or feelings of some future event or place. Telepathy…which includes thoughts as well as feelings. Physical or Healing Empathy….a type of body reading, where one can either sense or feel an ailment, then goes on to use universal energy healing (or other types) if given permission to do so. Also it should be advised for the healee to have a doctors visit if condition is persistent or severe. Intellectual Shape Shifting….where you know what was meant to be said during conversation, but the words were not coming out as in the thought process of the other person. Seer…..a form of seeing where the emotions are coming from and why they are causing the emotion, thus giving us a more intense feelings as to why. This also allows us confirmation. One will get visions of a scenario. Sometimes its can hit us like running into a brick wall, it’s stunning, though we know what hit us. Spiritual Empathy….a god like ability in all of us, when in touch with this, or by opening up to it, by looking into ones eyes, the spiritual empath, can sense the other persons oneness with their god. Then there are rear types of empathy, Such as Molecular Empathy…which ones aura blends into another persons aura, both at a super fine level. From there they can move on to a more spiritual level together. Animal Empathy....these empaths, have the gift of talking to animals and understanding their needs. You understand how it is to be that particular animal..dog, cat….etc. The list goes on to Medical Empathy, Enviromental Empathy, Garden Empathy, Crystal Empathy….. In all we sense and feel. We know. period. Some of us take on people only, others… animals, plants, buildings….etc. as well We may have just one gift of empathy or many. Can anyone give us an example of anything other than people? perhaps a building or whatever? (sorry I don’t have the comments to put in) An empathic person looks below the surface, as well as the surface. Thus understanding where others are coming from, or why we are having these feelings from an object. Let’s try this now - Now some of you are concerned about turning off empathy. One thing we can do is look into ourselves. Just like we do with others. Remember we can see below the surface in others, we can do the same for ourselves. Try this exercise. It works well in public or at home. Anytime, any place. First think about your favorite color The shade of it If you like to wear this color, if you decorate with this color….etc Now go deeper, how does this color affect how you feel? Does it make you happy, content, uplifted, calm….etc. You can do this with sounds as well, like music, the sound of birds…etc. This will help you focus on you, thus turning off any outside interference. We all need our “me†time. (sorry I don’t have everyones interactions here with this exercise) We all have warning signals. Most of us the signals first start in our solar plexus. We need to get in touch with ourselves. Know our signals and from there we can tune into ourselves when needed. Try this small exercise - Try if your standing close and talking with someone. If feelings start to rise or you become bogged down as if your energy sinks….excuse yourself. Walk a few feet away. If the feeling seems to not be so strong, then you know where it was actually coming from. It wasn’t you. I want you all to know that all are not empath. Some would beg to differ. However, not all can “sense†and “feel†things. In some research, it is said that out of 100 people only 95 of them are empath. So to me that is pretty close to everyone, though not all. We have a connection to everything in the universe. Next week we will talk on grounding or anchoring ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 My son is a real riddle when it comes to empathy, if he sees anything on the TV he over empathises, to the point he is verging on tears. But in real life he tends to see the slap stick value in most things and bursts out laughing, I have tried explaining that his friend may be hurt and he should ask if they are ok, but nothing seems to tap into his empathy in real life. From: Lori <have_faith_2008@...>Subject: ( ) Empathy Date: Saturday, 5 December, 2009, 1:51 Hello... I was wondering how you all view empathy, or the possible lack there of in your AS kids? My son is just now being evaluated, but I can really see many signs of AS in him now. However, in our case he does not have too much problem with routines, he is ok if things change most of the time. But I have not really felt he had trouble with empathy, although I think maybe I just don't see it. How do you all see it? Last night my husband was holding my son on our exercise bike and the pedal hurt my husband. I noticed my son had no reaction and, in fact, went on complaining he wanted to get back on the bike, rather than have any reaction to my husband hurting himself. It was the first time I really noticed my son not having empathy. Do you all see it often or is it something that just doesn't show up that obviously except now and then? Just wondering... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 My goodness M, this takes me back to my childhood I caught my brother with a bucket load of beetles etc, he was taking them out one at a time and pulling their legss off, I shouted and screamed at him but he wouldn't stop, so I went and got his skateboard and cracked him right in the shins with the narrow edge of the board as hard as I could, screaming something along the lines of now you know how they feel. Never understood why I was the one that was told off, when his cruelty was clearly teh source! And I'd do it again! lol From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Empathy Date: Saturday, 5 December, 2009, 19:40 I think they have empathy but sometimes are too much in their own world to attend to it. In the case with the bike his intense desire to ride was in his head so he didn't pick up on your husband's pain. I feel that my son has become more and more able to show his empathy. Sometimes he's MORE empathetic than typical but also gets overwhelmed by it. If sees a kid getting yelled at or hit by an adult he can get quite upset. He yells at the adult and then cries as if someone has been hitting him. We first saw his empathy when he became protective of animals. He won't tolerate people hurting animals. He called someone a murderer at the beach last year when they smashed a mussel on a rock.It may seem like they don't have empathy sometimes when they get in a situation that requires them to attend to their own self interest AND someone else's pain. They just can't keep those both in their heads at the same time if they are obsessing about something they desperately want to do. Well, this is my observation anyway. It's how my son seems to be. His teachers all say he definitely HAS empathy. This is a great thing because if it's there at all I think there's a good chance of strengthening it. If no empathy ever happens it might be hard to somehow help a kid to get it. I don't really think kids with AS totally lack empathy, though.Miriam>> Hello... I was wondering how you all view empathy, or the possible lack there of in your AS kids? My son is just now being evaluated, but I can really see many signs of AS in him now. However, in our case he does not have too much problem with routines, he is ok if things change most of the time. But I have not really felt he had trouble with empathy, although I think maybe I just don't see it. How do you all see it? Last night my husband was holding my son on our exercise bike and the pedal hurt my husband. I noticed my son had no reaction and, in fact, went on complaining he wanted to get back on the bike, rather than have any reaction to my husband hurting himself. It was the first time I really noticed my son not having empathy. Do you all see it often or is it something that just doesn't show up that obviously except now and then? Just wondering...> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 I think it will develop eventually but many people who don't have AS laugh when people fall. Laughter is actually, in part, an anxiety response believe it or not. I'll have to look this up somewhere but I remember reading about it. Smiling is actually similar. It's a way of saying, " I mean you no harm and I hope you won't hurt me either. " Wish I could remember where I read this. Obviously, laughing and smiling have other uses too. Just keep reminding him over and over again, calmly, that his friend might be hurt. It will get through eventually. Miriam Miriam > > > From: Lori <have_faith_2008@...> > Subject: ( ) Empathy > > Date: Saturday, 5 December, 2009, 1:51 > > >  > > > > Hello... I was wondering how you all view empathy, or the possible lack there of in your AS kids? My son is just now being evaluated, but I can really see many signs of AS in him now. However, in our case he does not have too much problem with routines, he is ok if things change most of the time. But I have not really felt he had trouble with empathy, although I think maybe I just don't see it. How do you all see it? Last night my husband was holding my son on our exercise bike and the pedal hurt my husband. I noticed my son had no reaction and, in fact, went on complaining he wanted to get back on the bike, rather than have any reaction to my husband hurting himself. It was the first time I really noticed my son not having empathy. Do you all see it often or is it something that just doesn't show up that obviously except now and then? Just wondering... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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