Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Why I hate Valentines Day! I hate Valentines Day because it debases romance. I hate it because in grade school the typical sort of thing the teachers made the students do was to each give out five valentines or more to others in the classroom. It turned into the worst sort of popularity contest you can imagine. I hate Valentines Day because it has become more and more commercialized. It's basically a kind of Christmas for adults. This year there were seemingly endless ads on television about people with way more money than they know what to do with spending it on ridiculously expensive jewelry. The height of the sort of thing Thorsten Veblen criticized as status-related conspicuous consumption. I hate Valentines Day because hardly anybody even remembers anything at all about Valentine. (And although I don't care much about that particular person, the careless ignorance of the name just seems reflective of the general mindless bovine indiiference people have toward history and their place in it. Mea culpa too.) I hate Valentines Day because it's always a reminder to me at least of how the people who do have the money to celebrate it usually here in the USA are working under some of the worst worker conditions in the industrial world and almost never have time off. In many places in europe, France in particular, almost all workers get a month off every year. I just don't think most workers in the USA who have regular jobs wind up being very romantic in the bulk of their lives because they just don't have the time for it. And in fact there are regularly articles about that every couple of years in major magazines such as Time and Newsweek about how marriages suffer in the USA because couples spend so much time working and other activities. (And if you do take your official vacation time many companies have widely known reputations for being much more likely to fire you, with complete impunity of course.) So I hate Valentines Day because what it claims to represent has been eviscerated by corporate (dare I say it...fascist?) Amerika. In Huxley's Brave New World workers once-a-year took a set of drugs to induce what was called a "passion surrogate" and then they went back to the routines for another year. Valentines Day for the masses living in the USA is a passion surrogate that people have settled for. Valentines Day has debased romance for all these reasons and more. On a more positive note- I suggest everyone read Helen Fisher's recent book "Why We Love". Contrary to normal intuition, learning about how romantic feelings happen I think actually increases the experience. Helen Fisher is a leading world anthropologist and quite probably the leading world expert on the subject of romantic love. http://helenfisher.com/ For what it's worth, I also like reading through books like "1001 romantic things to do". Heph ravenmagic2003 <ravenmagic2003@...> wrote: Tom wrote: "You may have noticed that I did NOT wish you all a happy Valentine's Day. That is because I know that for some people, Valentine's Day is a miserable day for them. Do you like Valentine's Day or hate it? Why? ... <snip> ..."Let's see now ... people need a commercially sanctioned holiday to remember to tell someone that is important to them that they are loved. What's wrong with this picture?My opinion is that if you cannot show your loved one how important they are 364 days out of the year, that one Valentine's Day in February every year isn't going to accomplish the job.True love is something that exists and is expressed every day through deed and action and words, not by a bunch of dead plants, a sugar rush and a piece of cardboard.That being said, I think if two people express love towards each other every day of the year, Valentine's Day is romantic by virtue of it being yet another opportunity to express that love ... but without all the commercialization that usually accompanies the day.RavenCo-Administrator Want to start your own business? Learn how on Small Business. The fish are biting. Get more visitors on your site using Search Marketing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 In a message dated 2/14/2007 10:31:58 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes: Personally, I hate it because I think it causes conflict between partners. Each expects something from the other, and if one or both do not get what they are looking for, there is disappointment and conflict.TomAdministrator I agree. Furthermore, it also sets up competition between couples. If one man gives his significant other a really expensive or, how to put it, "status" gift, then that will set a bar by which all other couples will be measured. This could cause conflict in those other couples when gifts don't measure up to the standard. So, not only can it cause tension in a given couple, but also in the community as a whole. (In this case community would be the workplace, school, etc..) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 In a message dated 2/15/2007 4:37:24 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes: I can still remember the Valentine's Day cards I used to get from the bullies: "We're gonna kill you after school. Happy Valentine's Day." TomAdministrator Never got anything like that. The last one of those silly parties I did only get one card out of a class of 14 people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 " I hate it because in grade school the typical sort of thing the teachers made the students do was to each give out five valentines or more to others in the classroom. It turned into the worst sort of popularity contest you can imagine. " I can still remember the Valentine's Day cards I used to get from the bullies: " We're gonna kill you after school. Happy Valentine's Day. " Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 I think the Valentine's Day thing depends on your perspective. If you're in a loving relationship in which there's good communication, then VDay is yet one more opportunity to express love, consideration, and devotion. If you're not, it's a horrible reminder of what's missing in your life. TV dinner still cooling?Check out "Tonight's Picks" on TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 > > You may have noticed that I did NOT wish you all a happy Valentine's > Day. That is because I know that for some people, Valentine's Day is a > miserable day for them. > > Do you like Valentine's Day or hate it? > > Why? > > Personally, I hate it because I think it causes conflict between > partners. Each expects something from the other, and if one or both do > not get what they are looking for, there is disappointment and > conflict. > > Tom Ditto, expectation, pain frustration. It was anxiety ridden. I felt like I was called into the principals office. Also valentine's seems to ask for full commitment when one isn't sure > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2007 Report Share Posted February 18, 2007 > > I think the Valentine's Day thing depends on your perspective. If you're in a loving relationship in which there's good communication, then VDay is yet one more opportunity to express love, consideration, and devotion. If you're not, it's a horrible reminder of what's missing in your life. I am in a relationship, Valentines day was still an anxiety driven day frought with expectations. Love is complicated. perfection isn't really any type of guarentee. You may be missing nothing. Or if something is missing having a person around won't change that. What is missing in my case is me. I feel like I am missing something. Like my life is some giant lie filled arrangement. The only truth is that I love my children, and that I don't expect much. I cannot " get over " my abandonment, and another person trying to right that doesn't repair the damage in my head. So maybe people can enjoy a day dedicated to love but as Raven said cardboard and sugar aren't going to make love real. Only people can do that. mimi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101@...>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Married for 33 years this july 14. T Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101@...>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Married 25 years this august Sharon T _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of mtadros9@... Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 1:51 PM Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Married for 33 years this july 14. T Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101 (DOT) <mailto:formiga101%40> com>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ¢¾ Valentines Day ¢¾ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 wow, 33 years thats awesome. From: mtadros9@... <mtadros9@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Date: Friday, February 12, 2010, 1:51 PM  Married for 33 years this july 14. T Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101 (DOT) com>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 congrats on 40 years, whats the secret, lol From: Troxel <richard.troxel@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Date: Friday, February 12, 2010, 1:09 PM  Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101 (DOT) com>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 The secret? Forgive everything and forget everything you've forgiven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 How True !!! _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Troxel Sent: Friday, February 12, 2010 2:16 PM Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day The secret? Forgive everything and forget everything you've forgiven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Will be married 40 years this coming October. Happy Valentine's Day To All. > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . >  > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Hi: That is truly the right secret to a Happy Marriage. It will be 40 years for us in Oct. > > The secret? Forgive everything and forget everything you've forgiven. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 :-) From: A <suzzienovember@...> Subject: [ ] Re: Valentine's Day Date: Friday, February 12, 2010, 3:19 PM  Will be married 40 years this coming October. Happy Valentine's Day To All. > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . >  > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Now I know the secret, hope to be married for a long time like everyone else in this group. Happy Valentines Day everyone :-) From: Troxel <richard.troxel@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Date: Friday, February 12, 2010, 2:16 PM  The secret? Forgive everything and forget everything you've forgiven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Married for 5 years May 28 Regas Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Married for 40 years this July 31st. Troxel On Fri, Feb 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM, andrea silveira <formiga101@...>wrote: > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your > spouse/significant other been together . > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 We will celebrate our 49th anniversary on Aug. 6. No secrets - afraid to disappoint our mothers (hers loved the idea and mine didn't think it would would work out) and just plain stubbornness on both parties believing that marriage is a one time deal. H. > > > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . > >  > > > > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Bob & I will celebrate our 22nd anniversary in May. Accepting of one another's faults, embracing the good in them, and the Serenity Prayer!! Amen. Jackie S. ________________________________ From: dickie_64012 <dickie_64012@...> Sent: Sat, February 13, 2010 12:04:02 AM Subject: [ ] Re: Valentine's Day We will celebrate our 49th anniversary on Aug. 6. No secrets - afraid to disappoint our mothers (hers loved the idea and mine didn't think it would would work out) and just plain stubbornness on both parties believing that marriage is a one time deal. H. > > > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . > >  > > > > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Thank you . This is very true. Jackie S. ________________________________ From: A <suzzienovember@...> Sent: Fri, February 12, 2010 5:20:58 PM Subject: Re: [ ] Valentine's Day Hi: That is truly the right secret to a Happy Marriage. It will be 40 years for us in Oct. > > The secret? Forgive everything and forget everything you've forgiven. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Greg and I will be married 23 years tomorrow, Valentine's Day! Happy Valentine's day to everyone. ________________________________ From: A <suzzienovember@...> Sent: Fri, February 12, 2010 3:19:21 PM Subject: [ ] Re: Valentine's Day  Will be married 40 years this coming October. Happy Valentine's Day To All. > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . >  > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 Ed and I have been married 11 years this coming October. We got married 3 weeks after my definite diagnosis (it was assumed in August). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 Hi: Same deal here. My parents loved the idea, and my husbands mother did not approve. We ended up eloping, and its 40 years in Oct. We both believe its a one time deal. > > > > > > > > > To Celebrate ♥ Valentines Day ♥ Make sure to tell how long you & your spouse/significant other been together . > > >  > > > > > > > > > Going on 10 years together, and will be married for 4 years in July > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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