Update

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Bee,

>

> Just wanted to update u on how I'm doing on the 9 day program. I've been on

pureed foods & bone broths for 4 days but only been doing enema for 2 days (coz

of my initial fear of enemas).

>

> I have to say that my abdominal pain is much better. I still have cramping &

bloating so I'm taking lots of ginger tea. I do the ileocecal massage before my

enema so hopefully it will get all the gunk out.

>

> I've been doing the castor oil pack every evening for 20 mins coz more than

that I get dizzy. I have to say that the castor oil works like a miracle. After

the pack, my tummy always feels more rested & there's no cramping the rest of

the nite. Can I just continue doing this everyday without a break?

+++That's good you are doing better Shirin! Good for you!

>

> I'm also feeling more energetic & have started to add back some of my vitamins

except for Vit C, Cal & Mg coz I worry about it causing diarrhea.

+++Please do not avoid vitamin C, calcium and magnesium! If you take more

vitamin C than your body can handle, it causes loose stools, but you must start

with smaller amounts and only gradually increase them to avoid that. Also the

amounts of cal/mag I recommend haven't caused anyone loose stools.

+++You must take vitamin C, calcium and magnesium to get all of the proper

nutrients on this program, otherwise the lack of them will cause you problems -

so please take them!!

>

> BTW, I need to go out of town again for 3 days from tmr but have packed &

frozen enuf pureed food for that time. I've packed my enema bulb & hopefully

will be able to get my enema done daily too.

>

> That's it. Just wanted to let u know that I was doing better. And thanks a

million Bee! You're such a gem.

+++You are so very welcome my friend.

Luv & Hugs, Bee

[Guest guest]

Hi Marjorie,

I'm sorry you are feeling so terrible right now. Try not to be scared - your

body is doing a good thing. It's healing itself.

If you are following Bee's program, you can bet that you aren't getting sick,

but are experiencing die-off and/or retracing. It sounds to me like you are

having a combination of both die-off and retracing.

You might want to back off on your coconut oil right now. You could try to

doing the 9-Day program, too, which will help you to get over these symptoms:

http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/articles/dig6.php

Hang in there!

>

> Hello Bee and everyone: I will try to be as brief as possible here, but I

just do not know what is going on with me. I do not know if I am retracing or

what. All this has happened over a period of approx. two months. First, I had

a very difficult time with what appeared to be severe fibromyalgia and CFS

(which I have experienced for years); then my whole body seemed to swell up with

sharp,shooting pains in all extremities, not in the joints but the long bones;

next I began to have difficulty with breathing and spent alot of time waking &

sitting on the side of the bed trying to concentrate on just breathing.

<snip>

Is this one Major retracing, several together, or should I go to a hospital, I

no longer know what to do. Sorry about the length of this but obviously I need

help. Thanks to all. Marjorie

[Guest guest]

Marjorie, are you sure you don't have the swine flu??

Beth

[ ] update

Hello Bee and everyone: I will try to be as brief as possible here, but I just

do not know what is going on with me. I do not know if I am retracing or what.

All this has happened over a period of approx. two months. First, I had a very

difficult time with what appeared to be severe fibromyalgia and CFS (which I

have experienced for years); then my whole body seemed to swell up with

sharp,shooting pains in all extremities, not in the joints but the long bones;

next I began to have difficulty with breathing and spent alot of time waking &

sitting on the side of the bed trying to concentrate on just breathing. Since

Friday I have had a cold/flu that resembles every flu/cold I have ever had, in

fact I am considering going to an Emerg. dept here. But I hesitate to do so for

a variety of reasons which, no doubt, you all can relate to. The hospital staff

may see all this as a need for antibiotics, or admission to hosp., or whatever,

and that I do not want!!! I also don't want to put any one on the spot here but

what can I do, any ideas anyone? I am quite miserable and very weak, and

somewhat scared. In the last day or so the pain and swelling in my body has gone

down abit; the nausea has lessened but diarrhea flares up occassionally; the

temp, headache, severe sore throat, and earache /sinus issues have diminished a

little, but I remain very weak and easily fatigued. I have reduced the amt. of

coconut oil I take. I also know I am not eating correctly because I am so weak

and can get quite nauseous. I have used alot of adjectives, I know, but want to

express my concern and state right now. Is this one Major retracing, several

together, or should I go to a hospital, I no longer know what to do. Sorry about

the length of this but obviously I need help. Thanks to all. Marjorie

[Guest guest]

>

> Marjorie, are you sure you don't have the swine flu??

>

+++Hi Beth. Please do not suggest that people have swine flu since it is a

total fiasco - see the messages on this group with links to articles, etc.

Bee

[Guest guest]

You ask, " Well, that was my week... how was yours? "

Uh --- easier than yours.

It sounds to me as if you have a lot more than a glimmer of hope. They give

livers to people who are very ill, but not to people who are going to die.

That would be a waste!

I know you're going throught some tough times and have more ahead of you.

But, realistically, things should get a lot better before too long.

There are people in this group who have been through this and who can

guide you along the way.

Best wishes.

Harper

Tina writes, May 14:

Hi all! hopes this finds you having one of those great days!  A week ago

today I returned from UWA Medical Center, and my transplant evaluation. Was a

rough trip but hubby made it as easy on me as possible. Found out that my

MELD score was 20 which means I really do need a transplant, but my BMI was

almost 40 so needs to drop that about 5 points for them to be willing to

attempt the procedure. Also found out that about half of what I was being told

by

my local care team did not apply to me. So, I have to be on a very low

sodium diet,eat protein again,come off pain meds, no more " tapping the tummy "

unless it become difficult to breathe, and I need more blood work (ACCKK!) and

have a scope of my throat and CT of my insides about every 6 weeks.We have

to return to WA the end of August to verify I have met all the requirements

so we can go ahead with the transplant. All this is abit overwhelming, I was

prepared to die, actually looking forward to the end of

the pain, but now there is a small glimmer at the end of the tunnel and I

am attempting to wrap my mind around that. My question is will I ever feel

good again? I know I'll never be 20 again but sure hoping that if all goes

well( and those of you who have been thru the Tx know there are no

promises/garentees) that I may someday be strong again..

Well, that was my week... how was yours?

 

Tina

**************

Dell Mini Netbooks: Great deals starting at $299 after

instant savings!

(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1222627952x1201458914/aol?redir=http:%2\

F%2Fad.doubleclick.net%2Fclk%3B214819460%3B36680227%3Bi)

[Guest guest]

,

 

Sounds like you are well on your way to recovery...just don't do too much. that

is THE BIGGEST thing I would reinforce. When you start feeling a little better

and you feel guilty that other people have to clean for you...you mught think

that loading the dishwasher or throwing in a load of laundry would be ok...but

it's not...and you will set yourself back with pain. Also, the second thing

that I cannot emphasize enough is START PT NOW! The longer you wait, the longer

your pain will continue and it will make your recovery longer as your core

muscles are getting weaker by the day. the spasms in your paraspinal muscles

that you are probably feeling now will be helped with PT as well. The

therapists  are well trained (do your research, don't just go to the closest one

for convenience) and will not have you do anything to disrupt the fusion

process. As your core weakens, you will experience pain form that lack of

support...TRUST ME!!! If you start some

gentle PT exercizes now, you will recover faster. Also, a lot of PT's will do

some myo-fascial release or cranio-sacral techniques. These will encourage

healing and relaxation of the muscles...plus it feels great !

 

--- B in RI

From: <sessions.jennifer@...>

Subject: update

spinal problems

Date: Sunday, May 17, 2009, 5:06 PM

Hi everyone,

Hope everyone is having an ok day. : )

Just wanted to check in - I had a lumbar fusion on April 24th and am just now

really getting back online. I can only do a few minutes at a time at the

computer but am feeling stronger every day.

I have DDD, spondylothesis, & lumbar instability - pain for about 10 yrs. My

surgery took over 5 hours, and when they got in there, it was a mess - even

worse than they thought from MRIs. They ended up fusing L5/S1, L4/L5, AND

L3/L4!! It was just supposed to be L5/S1 and L4/L5, but L3/4 was such a mess

that they knew if they fused the others to those levels that I would be back for

more surgery sooner than later. The first night was the hardest thing I have

ever been through, and then I was in the hospital for 5 whole days because they

couldn't get my pain under control and because of a couple of other

complications. I was however able to walk with a walker and go up and down a

flight of stairs before I left the hospital. Now 3 weeks later, I am moving

around really well and am able to take care of my own needs. I do have someone

here every day though to take care of the kids (3 and 1) and house, thank the

Lord. I'm still in some pretty bad pain most

days - on 2 narcotics and a muscle relaxer - but I think I am on the way to

recovery. I hope that I can get some pain relief from this - even a few years

would be amazing.

Thank you to all of you for being there for me!! : )

Jenn

[Guest guest]

Caren,

Congratulations on your great 9 month report, your progress, and pain relief. Extra congratulations on your very positive upbeat attitude! About your "habit" to bend your knees . . . I've always heard that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I wonder, would that be breaking a habit of bending the knees or starting a habit of not bending the knees? Glass half full/empty scenario?

At any rate, kudos for your success and optimisim!

G

[ ] Update

Hi everyone,I am now 9 months post op!! I saw Dr. Errico a couple of weeks ago and hewas very pleased with my progress. He said that he was able to see strongfusion. I asked about restrictions and he said at this point there arenone. Although he said he wouldn't want me to bungi jump; not that I everwould!! I still try to limit bending and twisting just to be on the safeside. I go back for my next visit in 6 months. I'm still doing physicaltherapy and have come to like the massages I'm getting. In the beginning,my back was so sensitive that you couldn't touch it. Now, the therapist hasbeen desensitizing my back and I'm able to tolerate a full deep massage.However, my back is still kind of numb and I am still experiencing somenumbness on my upper right arm. It's really weird because it's just onearea of skin that's numb there.No pain where my vertebrae were collapsed and compressed my nerve roots.That alone made the surgery worth it!! I'm no longer bent over from myflatback but out of habit, I still tend to bend my knees which messes up myposture. I try to be aware of it and usually catch myself when it happens.It's definitely great to be on the other side!!Caren

[Guest guest]

Caren,You lucky duck!!! I'm so jealous. I can't wait to be 9 months post-op.I remember after my first surgery 30 years ago the tops of my thighs were numb for a couple of years, but didn't seem to affect anything. Congratulations.-DyannFrom: Caren Koslov <ckoslov@...>Subject: [ ] Update" " < >Date: Monday, June 8, 2009, 10:59 PMHi everyone,I am now 9 months post op!!  I saw Dr. Errico a couple of weeks ago and hewas very pleased with my progress.  He said that he was able to see

strongfusion.  I asked about restrictions and he said at this point there arenone.  Although he said he wouldn't want me to bungi jump; not that I everwould!!  I still try to limit bending and twisting just to be on the safeside.  I go back for my next visit in 6 months.  I'm still doing physicaltherapy and have come to like the massages I'm getting.  In the beginning,my back was so sensitive that you couldn't touch it.  Now, the therapist hasbeen desensitizing my back and I'm able to tolerate a full deep massage.However, my back is still kind of numb and I am still experiencing somenumbness on my upper right arm.  It's really weird because it's just onearea of skin that's numb there.No pain where my vertebrae were collapsed and compressed my nerve roots.That alone made the surgery worth it!!  I'm no longer bent over from myflatback but out of habit, I still tend to bend my knees which

messes up myposture.  I try to be aware of it and usually catch myself when it happens.It's definitely great to be on the other side!!Caren------------------------------------scoliosis veterans * flatback sufferers * revision candidates

[Guest guest]

Caren,

Congratulations...you are doing great!

It is wonderful to be at that point where the restrictions come off and you can

begin to stop reevaluating every little thing you want or need to do.

Still...take it easy and don't over do. You will still find that your muscles

tire easily and you may find that you just need to go lay down for about 20 mins

late in the afternoon to let you muscles that are working in new ways holding

you up get a break. Eventually that ends...but for me anyway it was more of a

gradual letting go of that. You kind of do more...your muscles get

exhausted...but then you can do more...so you do...but then you really need to

go have a quick " lay down " .

Its great that your therapy is still helping you make progress. Can you go as

often as you like? If not, perhaps you can transition to a massage therapist if

your insurance wont cover the PT after a point. It might take so effort to find

the right one...or perhaps your PT might even have some suggestions.

Please keep up your updates..it really helps those coming along figure out the

benchmarks.

Take Care, Cam

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Bee,

>

> Hope you remember me. I have not posted in months. We had relocated back to

Michigan a year ago from the south. My dh got a job up here then lost it after

two months. I've had a p/t job in the meat dept. of the local grocery store for

nearly a year. Most days, I still enjoy my job.

+++Hi Cathe. Yes I do remember you. It's great to hear from you again.

>

> The stress of my dh losing yet another job (his career was in plastics

industry for auto industry) really threw me this last time. I added back into

our diet some carbs. Unfortunately, I have gained back all thirty of the pounds

I had lost before ever going on your diet. I'm still having the egg drink

everyday and 5-6 Tbsp. of Coconut oil everyday along with my supplements but

cannot seem to budge on my weight. My coworkers were sickly this past winter

but I was not. I only got sick once and that was for three days after my dh was

in the hospital with an abcess and a flare-up of MRSA. He was in for six days

and I went to see him every day after work. When he got home, my body required

about three days of complete rest. After that, I have been fine.

+++My goodness, you and your dh have been having a lot of stress. It's great

you didn't get sick.

>

> This is a roundabout way of saying I am tired of feeling fat. I have started

getting on my rebounder again--more faithfully this time. I'm starting to

forego any bread or starches (although creamy decaf coffee drinks are my

downfall but I try to limit those.) I was so proud of my weight loss a year

ago--I can't believe how one winter holiday season could bring all that weight

back on!!

+++Yes, it's those carbs Cathe.

>

> Anyway, just wanted you to know, Bee, I am still plugging along and am still

very thankful for all your wisdom in this area. Got " Nourishing Traditions " for

Christmas and try to use recipes in there when cooking off-diet things. My

brain fog is not as bad on the once-in-awhile days I don't take my supps, just

to give my body a break. Still, even with the concessions, I am healing. I

have a better understanding of my body than ever before. I feel stronger, even

if I'm not svelte. :~)

+++Good for you Cathe!

Hugs & love to you too!

Bee

[Guest guest]

>

> Caren,

>

> Congratulations...you are doing great!

>

> It is wonderful to be at that point where the restrictions come off and you

can begin to stop reevaluating every little thing you want or need to do.

Still...take it easy and don't over do. You will still find that your muscles

tire easily and you may find that you just need to go lay down for about 20 mins

late in the afternoon to let you muscles that are working in new ways holding

you up get a break. Eventually that ends...but for me anyway it was more of a

gradual letting go of that. You kind of do more...your muscles get

exhausted...but then you can do more...so you do...but then you really need to

go have a quick " lay down " .

>

> Its great that your therapy is still helping you make progress. Can you go as

often as you like? If not, perhaps you can transition to a massage therapist if

your insurance wont cover the PT after a point. It might take so effort to find

the right one...or perhaps your PT might even have some suggestions.

>

> Please keep up your updates..it really helps those coming along figure out the

benchmarks.

>

> Take Care, Cam

>

[Guest guest]

Caren:

Congratulations!!! Can you believe it's been 9 months! I am now approaching my

one year-five months anniversary and I have to admit that a little past the

one-year anniversary did I REALLY feel back to my old self again. This is a

healing process and we are all different, but it is definitely worth it! I now

feel that I have a normal gait to my walking and my pace is definitely back to

what it was. However, shoe heels more than 2 inches are definitely a thing of

the past! Thank God flats are in style!

Call me when you get a chance and we will chat.

Donna T.

>

> Caren,

>

> Congratulations...you are doing great!

>

> It is wonderful to be at that point where the restrictions come off and you

can begin to stop reevaluating every little thing you want or need to do.

Still...take it easy and don't over do. You will still find that your muscles

tire easily and you may find that you just need to go lay down for about 20 mins

late in the afternoon to let you muscles that are working in new ways holding

you up get a break. Eventually that ends...but for me anyway it was more of a

gradual letting go of that. You kind of do more...your muscles get

exhausted...but then you can do more...so you do...but then you really need to

go have a quick " lay down " .

>

> Its great that your therapy is still helping you make progress. Can you go as

often as you like? If not, perhaps you can transition to a massage therapist if

your insurance wont cover the PT after a point. It might take so effort to find

the right one...or perhaps your PT might even have some suggestions.

>

> Please keep up your updates..it really helps those coming along figure out the

benchmarks.

>

> Take Care, Cam

>

[Guest guest]

> > This is a roundabout way of saying I am tired of feeling fat. I have

started getting on my rebounder again--more faithfully this time. I'm starting

to forego any bread or starches (although creamy decaf coffee drinks are my

downfall but I try to limit those.) I was so proud of my weight loss a year

ago--I can't believe how one winter holiday season could bring all that weight

back on!!

>

> +++Yes, it's those carbs Cathe.

Thanks so much for your reply, Bee. I have started jumping on my rebounder at

least twice a day for the past week (just a few minutes each time) and have

rearranged my eating to be more like it was when I first started your program

(way less carbs) and I noticed a reduction in weight almost immediately. So

I'll keep on with that plan and hopefully, shed some of this unwanted weight.

But it is so good to feel stronger.

Thanks again, Bee!

God bless you,

Cathe

[Guest guest]

Caren,

Way to go on your great 9 month results!

R.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of Caren Koslov

Sent: Monday, June 08, 2009 8:59

PM

Subject: [ ] Update

Hi everyone,

I am now 9 months post op!! I saw Dr. Errico a couple of weeks ago and he

was very pleased with my progress. He said that he was able to see strong

fusion. I asked about restrictions and he said at this point there are

none. Although he said he wouldn't want me to bungi jump; not that I ever

would!! I still try to limit bending and twisting just to be on the safe

side. I go back for my next visit in 6 months. I'm still doing physical

therapy and have come to like the massages I'm getting. In the beginning,

my back was so sensitive that you couldn't touch it. Now, the therapist has

been desensitizing my back and I'm able to tolerate a full deep massage.

However, my back is still kind of numb and I am still experiencing some

numbness on my upper right arm. It's really weird because it's just one

area of skin that's numb there.

No pain where my vertebrae were collapsed and compressed my nerve roots.

That alone made the surgery worth it!! I'm no longer bent over from my

flatback but out of habit, I still tend to bend my knees which messes up my

posture. I try to be aware of it and usually catch myself when it happens.

It's definitely great to be on the other side!!

Caren

[Guest guest]

,

You better tell them boys their bachelor days are about over, get the house in order because your coming home. Keep up the great progress!

Deronda

From: daisysn2001 <sjnuernberger@...>Subject: [ ] Update Date: Monday, November 16, 2009, 3:11 AM

I am feeling pretty good. I just started learning to walk again and I am slow but feeling good about it. I am hearing that my discharge will probably be this week sometime. The only thing I am scared of is that I have a husband and son living like bachelors and hear my house is a mess. Lord only knows how bad it really is. I still have a lot of weakness in both legs but I think it will all come in time. I will try and keep more updated when I get home because in the rehab center they wear you out and bed time is around 730. Thanks for all the emails and prayers they mean so much to me and I don't think I would have come so far so fast with out all the support I have recieved.

[Guest guest]

Hi Gloria

As usual you and your man shall be in my prayers for your wellbeing, and relationship success.

I am truely sorry to hear about your assistants loss of her child.

No parent should ever have such bad news.

They shall also be in my prayers.

I am sending everyone good energy, health, and peace.

love

don in ks

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...>Subject: [ ] Update Date: Friday, March 19, 2010, 9:42 PM

Hi Gang, thank you for the encouragement today. Thank you all for being there for me.This morning, my husband proposed that we go for some marriage counselling AGAIN. However, I am pleased to do so and picked a fellow that actually knows 12 step programs. Hopefully, this up and down thing can finally get settled before I am under the knife.I have a hunch that hubby might have talked to some others about allowing his family to meddle in our lives. Not sure, will bring it up at counselling.Also, I got it through my head that I truly do have to quit working, period. My mother was quite adamant about it!! So, I was going to talk seriously with my assistant; however, and this is sooooo sad, I caught her flying down the highway to the next city because her eldest child was killed in an accident last night. AWFUL, JUST

AWFUL!!!!Gloria

[Guest guest]

Oh no gosh that is so sad about your assistants child being killed. That is horrible. I cannot even imagine how awful she must be feeling. Shoot.

I am glad I can help Gloria. I know the 12 step program well Gloria. It works if you want it to. It has for me since 1988. The best thing I have ever heard and I have always gone by was was the serinity prayer. I believe in it fully.

God grant me the serinity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

On top of dealing with my illness I have a daughter who is 29 and has muscular dystrophy. She lives with her boyfriend now in another town. She really isn't in my life. Long storey.

You will probably still have a lot of ups and downs reguardless of therapy. Just be patient with each other and know that you both have crosses to bear. It is hard to be either one of you right now. I am going though the same thing with Rick. I am having to calm my inner tiger and shut the hell up some times and let him be and say ah honey yeah go have fun. When I am feeling like shit no I want you to stay home and help with this or that. But I am trying to give him some time. He needs it. He needs pull away from me time and then he will find it easier to want to come to me then. He will be more understanding. Kind of like using some reverse psychology. We can do that we are smart shemales. grrrrowl. Anyway I wish you luck and I am so glad he is on board with trying now. That is great. Wow. What a turn around. Big hugs (((((((((((Gloria))))))))))))

Cinder

Check out datagrey's photos and profile!

http://community.webshots.com/user/datagrey

Find me on MySpace and be my friend.

http://www.myspace.com/datagrey

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...>Subject: [ ] Update Date: Friday, March 19, 2010, 9:42 PM

Hi Gang, thank you for the encouragement today. Thank you all for being there for me.This morning, my husband proposed that we go for some marriage counselling AGAIN. However, I am pleased to do so and picked a fellow that actually knows 12 step programs. Hopefully, this up and down thing can finally get settled before I am under the knife.I have a hunch that hubby might have talked to some others about allowing his family to meddle in our lives. Not sure, will bring it up at counselling.Also, I got it through my head that I truly do have to quit working, period. My mother was quite adamant about it!! So, I was going to talk seriously with my assistant; however, and this is sooooo sad, I caught her flying down the highway to the next city because her eldest child was killed in an accident last night. AWFUL, JUST

AWFUL!!!!Gloria

[Guest guest]

My sobriety year was 1986 and my hubby was January 1989 (we met in program).It must be very difficult to know that your daughter has difficulties; but, you are not together. I truly believe what you say about the ups and downs. Little ole me right now, really wishes to see him ask for and receive support for his side of the difficulty (care giving). Then perhaps, he'd be better able to tell his family, in a whole different way, what it is like!! To me, I can't understand these people holding onto some kind of resentments from the way back past and I sure have to work on my resentment that none of them would do anymore than judge me during treatment. Plus, I believe they swayed his thinking with their lack of understanding as well. Oh

well, that part will obviously have to come out in counselling!!Actually, Dave is a very good man for the most part. It would be a total flat out shock, to most folks in our social and family circle, were we to actually break apart. But how many of those on the outside of a couple's relationship, really know what is going on at home??? I'm the type, that if another woman came to cry on my shoulder about some marital problems, I have absolutely no right to take sides nor have one iota of an opinion. However, I can put my arms around her and let her cry out her frustration. If she wants to call her husband every thing in the book, I should be able to let it roll right off my shoulders, understand where it is coming from, absolutely stay out of the middle and just let her know, I love her no matter what ends up happening. We all know, deep inside, what the answer is for a problem, we just need to get all the

emotions out of the way, to clearly see what one clearly needs to do to have "the courage to change the things I can".The unfortunate thing around me here in the program, is that I've got just about the longest sobriety of any of the women here (which means nothing at all, for that day). Most of the women do not feel any confidence to be able to take me on as a sponsee and sure as hell, not as an emotional human being. This has been happening to me since probably about my 5th year. Even my hubby could not think of a name of another woman I could go to, whether it be AA, NA or Alanon.Gloria

Oh no gosh that is so sad about your assistants child being killed. That is horrible. I cannot even imagine how awful she must be feeling. Shoot.

I am glad I can help Gloria. I know the 12 step program well Gloria. It works if you want it to. It has for me since 1988. The best thing I have ever heard and I have always gone by was was the serinity prayer. I believe in it fully.

God grant me the serinity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

On top of dealing with my illness I have a daughter who is 29 and has muscular dystrophy. She lives with her boyfriend now in another town. She really isn't in my life. Long storey.

You will probably still have a lot of ups and downs reguardless of therapy. Just be patient with each other and know that you both have crosses to bear. It is hard to be either one of you right now. I am going though the same thing with Rick. I am having to calm my inner tiger and shut the hell up some times and let him be and say ah honey yeah go have fun. When I am feeling like shit no I want you to stay home and help with this or that. But I am trying to give him some time. He needs it. He needs pull away from me time and then he will find it easier to want to come to me then. He will be more understanding. Kind of like using some reverse psychology. We can do that we are smart shemales. grrrrowl. Anyway I wish you luck and I am so glad he is on board with trying now. That is great. Wow. What a turn around. Big hugs (((((((((((Gloria) ))))))))) ))

Cinder

Check out datagrey's photos and profile!

http://community. webshots. com/user/ datagrey

Find me on MySpace and be my friend.

http://www.myspace. com/datagrey

Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

[Guest guest]

Nobody likes me either.

LMAO

Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

[Guest guest]

Check out datagrey's photos and profile!

http://community.webshots.com/user/datagrey

Find me on MySpace and be my friend.

http://www.myspace.com/datagrey

Hello Gloria,

I met my last husband myex husband now in the program. We met at meetings. We stayed together for 14 years. He made my life a living hell.

This husband now has never had a drinking problem or drugs. He actually was a police officer before. He is the second police officer I have been with dated one and now married to one who used to be one. He is not into people being in the program though. But I have not been going for a long long time. I have not been having troubles with not going either. I wasn't getting what I needed there. I am doing great now without it. I was never into bars or into parties.

Anyway My daughter it had to do with my past and my lying sack of shit for a mom. So my daughter was told a bunch of lies by my mom who raised her. Well since she grew up the police chief much to his dismay found out my mom was a crazy lying idiot and was trying to do the same thing over again trying to get my brothers daughter away from him. I was intitled to get my daughter back but everyone believed mom back then and so I could not get her back my mom said she had more money than I did so If I took it to court I would lose and then she would make sure I would never see my daughter ever again. So to see her again I had to back off and let her stay there and not challenge it. Give in. I did. It about killed me. So my daughter hates me and thinks what mom told her is true and it isn't. So I don't have a relationship with my daughter. She told me to go to hell. Anyway that is why we aren't together. She just moved out of my moms a couple of

weeks ago. it took having the police there for her to move out because mom was being so nuts. Then mom called every one she could and told everyone took everything in her house and was going to try to kill her. Everytime someone moved out Mom told everyone that person was out to kill her. She is nuts. So I really don't have family support at all. Rick told his family I have cancer so I can't have them around for fear they will find out the truth. Rick don't want to cook for me or for himself. I think he really thinks during treatment I will be cooking for him all that time. Rick will never ask for help. He does not know how I think he is too scared to ask too because he really doesn't know how. Back when he was a kid he was taught never to ask for help. His dad would have whooped his ass for being weak. So he is still stuck on it. He won't ask for help. I have been the one who has had to go behind his back to tell his family stuff. They

would not know I had this if I had not pushed the issue. He was worried it would put too much stress on his mom. I told him she would be really pissed if he did not trust her enough to tell her what was going on so she could be a part of his support system. I told him I will have support. I will have him and I have my online groups and my family by email and phone but he isn't good about talking to anyone so he needs his family. I told him to tell them at work in case I have an emergencey ever and he needs to go fast because of me with this for some odd reason. So he told his family and his job. He told his son. His son gave him 10 boxes of tea for me today. lol. He gave his dad a bible. Sweet.

I have to work on a lot of my resentments with my relatives in his family also. They do tend to butt in where they are not wanted sometimes. They know it all. His MOM. His DAD. And his dads wife and her son Ricks step brother the doctor. They know everything better than we do. I told them I trust my doctor. They wanted me to change doctors. They wanted to make sure I got better treatments. They of course think I have cancer "Thanks Rick" . So

I guess this is serinity prayer time. I will take on my own shit and let the other fly elsewhere. Anything that isn't mine screw it. I don't have time for it.

Somewhere along the way I am getting to where I don't care what they think about me. I care what I think about me. All that really matters is what I feel. I am my worst critic. So If I can please me that is all that is important. I will throw what they think or could think aside and quit caring and I will be me. I am too busy trying to do this hep tx and trying to get my health working for me to worry about what the heck anyone else thinks about me. I think I will get the wierdest wig to wear when I am around my mother in law. Both of them. I will let them think I have lost my mind. I am proud of me and I like me. I will tell myself good things about myself every day. Good I have managed to have ten fingernails that aren't all broke at once. One good thing about me. yeah. I like my shiney cute eyes today. Hm my wrists look slim today. Wow I look like I am losing weight. My husband told me I looked skinnier in the face the other day. So we have to do

this for ourselves. This will help us.

The emotions : Once out you need to treat them gently. Find out why they hurt. see how to help yourselves with them. That is comprimise. Rick and I talk a lot and I have told him well like about tx. He kept talking like if I think positive I will not be sick. I will work. I told him I don't know where it will lead me. I don't know if I will be well or sick. I will have to wait and find out. I can't say it will be either or. I told him it would be ignorant to just say it won't happen and not have a back up plan. I told him If I am not going to be sick I won't make plans for cooking or for having extra blankets for chills or for things I will need during it Or for possibly being out at the base with him so someone will be checking on me visually once a day at least. I told him I could die that way. He changed his attitude after thinking it over. It took awhile for it to soak in.

So sometimes you just have to think of a carefully way to word what you need them to know and then don't expect them to answer right them let them think about it. Men take longer to come around than us sometimes. Stuborn maybe.

You are in my heart and prayers on this. This is not a good time for you all to be going through this. You poor girl. Hugs. Do not give up for nothing. You are very important. Remember to do daily affirmations. Tell yourself good things. Do it.

Hugs Cinder

My sobriety year was 1986 and my hubby was January 1989 (we met in program).It must be very difficult to know that your daughter has difficulties; but, you are not together. I truly believe what you say about the ups and downs. Little ole me right now, really wishes to see him ask for and receive support for his side of the difficulty (care giving). Then perhaps, he'd be better able to tell his family, in a whole different way, what it is like!! To me, I can't understand these people holding onto some kind of resentments from the way back past and I sure have to work on my resentment that none of them would do anymore than judge me during treatment. Plus, I believe they swayed his thinking with their lack of understanding as well. Oh well, that part will obviously have to come out in counselling! !Actually, Dave is a very good man for the most part. It would be a

total flat out shock, to most folks in our social and family circle, were we to actually break apart. But how many of those on the outside of a couple's relationship, really know what is going on at home??? I'm the type, that if another woman came to cry on my shoulder about some marital problems, I have absolutely no right to take sides nor have one iota of an opinion. However, I can put my arms around her and let her cry out her frustration. If she wants to call her husband every thing in the book, I should be able to let it roll right off my shoulders, understand where it is coming from, absolutely stay out of the middle and just let her know, I love her no matter what ends up happening. We all know, deep inside, what the answer is for a problem, we just need to get all the emotions out of the way, to clearly see what one clearly needs to do to have "the courage to change the things I can".The unfortunate thing

around me here in the program, is that I've got just about the longest sobriety of any of the women here (which means nothing at all, for that day). Most of the women do not feel any confidence to be able to take me on as a sponsee and sure as hell, not as an emotional human being. This has been happening to me since probably about my 5th year. Even my hubby could not think of a name of another woman I could go to, whether it be AA, NA or Alanon.Gloria

Oh no gosh that is so sad about your assistants child being killed. That is horrible. I cannot even imagine how awful she must be feeling. Shoot.

I am glad I can help Gloria. I know the 12 step program well Gloria. It works if you want it to. It has for me since 1988. The best thing I have ever heard and I have always gone by was was the serinity prayer. I believe in it fully.

God grant me the serinity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

On top of dealing with my illness I have a daughter who is 29 and has muscular dystrophy. She lives with her boyfriend now in another town. She really isn't in my life. Long storey.

You will probably still have a lot of ups and downs reguardless of therapy. Just be patient with each other and know that you both have crosses to bear. It is hard to be either one of you right now. I am going though the same thing with Rick. I am having to calm my inner tiger and shut the hell up some times and let him be and say ah honey yeah go have fun. When I am feeling like shit no I want you to stay home and help with this or that. But I am trying to give him some time. He needs it. He needs pull away from me time and then he will find it easier to want to come to me then. He will be more understanding. Kind of like using some reverse psychology. We can do that we are smart shemales. grrrrowl. Anyway I wish you luck and I am so glad he is on board with trying now. That is great. Wow. What a turn around. Big hugs (((((((((((Gloria) ))))))))) ))

Cinder

Check out datagrey's photos and profile!

http://community. webshots. com/user/ datagrey

Find me on MySpace and be my friend.

http://www.myspace. com/datagrey

Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam,

Have you been diagnosed by a doctor for having kidney stones, or did you

self-diagnose them?

Bee

>

> Hi, Bee:

>

> I made Pau d'Arco tea yesterday. Drank the tea and put the teabags on the

sore spot on the breast. Still getting seepage which smells nasty. The teabags

did draw out some of the soreness. So I will keep doing that. When I run out

of that tea, I have plenty of green tea around here.

>

> Took extra vitamin C yesterday to bowel tolerance. The loose stools which

resulted smelled pretty nasty. Have also noticed that lately my urine is also

smelling more foul, so I guess I'm detoxing a lot.

>

> Since the diabetes makes me need to urinate often, and since that interrupts

my sleep at night, what I have been doing for a while is use reusable waterproof

pads on the bed, with towels on top of that, and also adult reusable diapers.

It sounds gross, and it's not a great solution, but it is better than not

getting any consistent sleep because of getting up almost every hour to urinate.

I'm still tired a lot, but not as badly.

>

> The sort-of bad news is that I may have another kidney stone; I have some back

soreness on the right side, and am not 100% sure of the source. I've had plenty

of back pain over the years.

>

> Like the other person who reported this, I never had any kidney stones before

a year ago. I have been taking calcium citrate powder and magnesium citrate

powder in addition to drinking about 4 cups of soup per day. I had felt that I

was really depleted in terms of minerals. The soup is my preferred way of

getting in my coconut oil and butter, in addition to what I either cook with or

put on vegetables. I like taking vitamin C crystals and the other powdered

supplements in the electrolyte drink.

>

> I have decided to back off the calcium and magnesium powder supplements

because of this, and to see what happens. After I finish this e-mail, I am

going out to buy some parsley for tea. Will drink that and see what happens. I

don't want to get tempted to go see a doctor, and no way do I want to enter the

hospital like I did last summer.

>

> At around the same time as the breast cyst's first appearance and a severe

episode of bronchitis (with pleurisy), I also had what may have been congestive

heart failure. I was still drinking a lot of soda and tea back then. Right

around the time I moved out of one apartment in 2000, the weather was very hot,

I drank a lot of soda and tea, and my feet were swelling up and I got short of

breath. When I bend over and compress my chest, I get some distress.

>

> I am assuming that the leg swelling, the big belly, and the shortness of

breath I am getting now are all retracing from right around 10-11 years ago. I

will be very happy when the weight starts coming off, but I realize I probably

have a lot of healing to do before then.

>

> My fingers have also been stiffening up a bit. It doesn't stop me from typing

for a living, just slows me a little bit. Sometimes I use oil of oregano on

them. I think my right pinkie has gotten triggered. One of the joints

sometimes sticks.

>

> Still getting brain fog sometimes. At night, when I'm really tired and I

can't make my eyes stay focused, I can wink out and fall asleep over the

keyboard. Sometimes I get a second wind, and I can hold the eyes straight

again.

>

> One more comment... before I started taking fish oil capsules 10-11 years ago,

at the suggestion of a friend (because I was depressed), I used to have trouble

eating red meat. I mostly ate chicken. I would eat red meat, especially lean

round steak, and I'd get gut cramps and diarrhea from that. I never totally

stopped eating things like butter, but I should have been eating a lot more of

them, I see now.

>

> Well, I am looking forward to detoxing my way through all of this! Thanks

again for your help and your good wishes!

>

>

>

> Pam Maltzman

>

[Guest guest]

I understand that you had a bad outcome with surgery, but surgery actually

helped my condition. I do, however, recommend exhausting all other options

before undergoing any surgical procedure. " You can measure a bunch of times, but

can only cut once " - My sheetmetal instructor taught me those " words of wisdom " !

>

> I have had same problems with docters and surgeons about pain meds etc. they

have all the medical evidence that u are infact in pain but act like there

dealing with junkie wjen comes to meds. They'll cut you in a heart beat but then

they refuse to give u pain med. I have finally found a good back doc. if I went

to her before probally never had surgery to begin with but I have had l4 and l5

fused now it is worse and everything is just more complicated do to all the junk

in my back. That's exactley what it is to JUNK! STAY AWAY FROM SURGERY IT IS A

ENDLESS ORDEAL U FALL BACK ON SAME THINGS AS NERVE BLKS AND PILLS IT JUST NEVER

ENDS. IF YOU FIND YOUR SELF IN A HOLE.......STOP DIGGING!!!!~

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

On Nov 17, 2010, at 1:03 PM, wrote:

> Is on doxy., his doc would only give him 100 mg twice daily and

> then wants to retest him, which is a bunch of bull.

One of my doctors initially put me on 100 mg doses of doxy. When I

visited one of the better known LLMDs he said that the dose is weight-

based and that I needed to be on 200 mg 2x/day.

I wonder if anyone here could find some published literature on this

for .

Good luck!

Blue

[Guest guest]

The vet will put a dog on doxy at 100 mg tab for every 50 lbs I believe - two

times a day - min of 30 days.

Good luck - sorry you r going through this.

Diane Biel

[Guest guest]

- Sam is getting her igenix text on dec 8 - she is on doxy for a acne n

sinus infec - do u think that will help her tests??

Hope everyone is good at your house - do u make the jewelry yourself??? Diane