Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 Hi ,  I'm so sorry about the trouble you are having. We are you and your family going to go when you house is sold? Do you have a place to go?  The emotional toll this disease takes is high. And the meds always make me feel even more emotional (I didn't know that was even possible).  Please know that none of this is your fault (even the house). All you can do is the best you can do every day. We do not know why we have to travel this road, but there is always a reason.  Hang in there.  Fran From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 4:53 AM  My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 Oh - I am so sorry........we just filed bankruptcy............and hope to keep our house but not sure why as it is falling apart. It is easy for me to say but.......DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!! I did also and its not fair to do to yourself no matter what anyone says......you have to look at it like this......would you feel guilty if you had cancer and this was happening........its not your fault that this happened to you and your family. You will make it through this and be even stronger because of it - even if you dont feel that way right now please believe in my words. I remember my first start of treatment.......my worst was my depression......I believe the treatment works first in that area of your brain....it was so bad ....I had to tell myself not to take myself out of this world......I had to tell myself I cant because I have kids.........then I thought because my kids are ill with this terrible disease also that I would take them with me....well then I had to keep telling myself that I cant do that because that would be murder.....and my belief is that I would go to hell and not be able to be with them then........it was one of the hardest parts of treatment for me......please keep telling yourself that this will end and the reason you are feeling such loss is because of the treatment for your brain infection right now....once this is done and you can start rebuilding your life you can get those things back....but this is your time to be in treatment and not carry the world on your shoulders!! Let go of what you can not change...these things happened to you - if you had a choice you would of not let this happen......so it is not your fault!! I am sorry that is is such a controversial disease also and I pray you have friend and family support behind you......I did and didn't and it is still that way - makes me ill but believe me girl you are a fighter and you will get better now that you know what you have to do ........ sometimes the llmd can back off treatment and not treat as harsh to help with the depression...I have to be on a antidepressant and thats ok - I will do what ever I have to do to fight this and get my life back...right now your brain isn't functioning because of this disease and treatment ...... give it time and it will. You have made it this long girl - dont give up now!! Do you have kids? If you need to email me anytime!! Life will get better for you my friend......you have to give treatment time........you are in my prayers and bless your heart for reaching out....I did also....... Love - Diane ________________________________ From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 3:53:00 AM Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown  My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 I am soo sorry you have to endure the loss of your health.. the loss of your home and the loss of security. I can relate totally. I have lost my medical career, my identity, my brain, my home, my will to life (at time),,BUT.....there is hope..HOPE in that eventually things WILL turn around and get better...Not knowing is the worst feeling. The uncertainty of your home life, health and future can be overwhelming and has sent you into a break down... My advice (in my limited capacity) is to reach out to any support system. I have gained strength to know I AM not alone!!! I am unemployed for 2 yrs now...no insurance...living with family..but now I am moving in with my disabled sister, her husband who lost his job and home is a divorce... and now working part time as a meat clerk in a grocery store...he has 2 sons with asburgers who work part time fast food places..We have decised to pull resources and rent a house where we all share bills... I have an investment account (thank GOD) that I live off my interest ($600)..so we all will help each other......with is economy..we all have to pull together.. join resources, and help each other survive... as far as your health goes....get educated about your possibilities.. Knowledge is power and will give you a sense of control in your crisis. This is not the end...its just a change~ A fellow Lyme Dar From: notlovinlyme@... Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2011 09:53:00 +0000 Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 : Hello! I am so sorry you are going through this trial. I can say I do know how your feeling. I was diagnosed w/ Lyme after 5 years of just plain " hell on earth " . We had to file bankruptcy in 2007 and I felt horribly guilty, but I can tell you - a house is a material thing and I am sure your family would rather have you on your way to getting healthy than a home. A house can be replaced, you can't. I pray that no one is making you feel guilty. I also pray that you have a group of encouragers around you, to lift you up, to cry with you and eventually to be filled w/ joy w/ and for you when you get to an area of healing, both physically and financially. I pray that this helps you feel not so alone, and it always put into perspective for me that somewhere in this world someone is worse off than me, physically, financially and mentally. Be well, my friend. ~DonnaLee ________________________________ From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> Sent: Fri, January 7, 2011 4:53:00 AM Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown  My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 It's not easy, , I know. I too lost nearly everything but lost my partner through it all, as well. Try to remain thankful for what you do have and that you can and will get better over time. Be thankful, if you can, for having a good doc instead of a quack. There is no shortage of quacks here in the Ozarks, and no LLMDs for many, many miles. I have had to go it alone with a herbal route that thankfully has worked thus far, yet I am still not at all what I used to be before Lyme. Yet I nevertheless maintain faith and see that better days are in sight. Due to Lyme I had two tours in stress units. They are like Sergeant Shultz there, " I know nothing! " But that was just me TRYING yet spitting in the wind. I have gotten more comfort and support from this group, by far. It has been a Godsend. I wouldn't wish Lyme on ANYONE and it grieves me that the forum here offers so many voices suffering from it. Yet WE know here that we are indeed not alone on this path. I send you angels.        Errol He who binds himself to a joy, Does the winged life destroy. But he who kisses it as it flies, Lives in eternity’s sunrise. ~ Blake From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 3:53 AM My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. ------------------------------------ Lyme Disease News continually updated from thousands of sources around the net: http://www.topix.net/health/lyme-disease MedWorm: The latest items on: Lyme Disease http://tinyurl.com/23dgy8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 I live in the Ozarks as well and the reg drs have no clue most of them and think 2 wks of abx gets it. I had to go to LLMD. It has caused enormous stress for me. My spouse thought I was a hypocondriac and we still have our moments. We didn't loose our house because when I moved here I bought it out right due to an inheritance. I did this never knowing if someone would get sick. I lost my education/career goal as I can't complete it. I can't get disability due to the fact I was going to school, not working. Financially I depend on my spouse and don't like it. I have gotten better. [ ] Emotional breakdown Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 3:53 AM My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. ------------------------------------ Lyme Disease News continually updated from thousands of sources around the net: http://www.topix.net/health/lyme-disease MedWorm: The latest items on: Lyme Disease http://tinyurl.com/23dgy8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 - I'm sure we can all relate to the feeling of defeat you experience because of Lyme disease. I know I have been there many, many times. A few thoughts - thankfully you at least know what is going on and you can work to treat/fight the Lyme disease. Finally figuring out what was wrong was a big step for me. Know that Lyme disease can wreak havoc on your emotional state and particularly can cause feelings of depression, etc. That just makes everything seem even worse. Within the past few months (I have been on abx now for over two years) I have started to get my old personality back and don't feel constantly depressed. I have been very fortunate to have a compassionate and understanding boyfriend who has stood by me through the illness, ER visits, depression, Lyme rages - and the list goes on. I hope you have supportive people in your life to help you through this. Definitely lean on this group for support. I wish you all the best, Anne > > My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. > > I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 I am sorry for your loss. Lyme and other health issues have kept me from some of the things I wanted to have and achieve in my life as well (at this point I can't even afford rent). All I can say is to not blame yourself, and that your integral value is never equated by what you have. Your value is your spirit, beyond the materials, beyond the illness. Rest in that as best you can. > > My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. > > I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2011 Report Share Posted January 8, 2011 That was awesome Fran!! On Fri Jan 7th, 2011 12:36 PM CST Fran Mellott wrote: >Hi , > >I'm so sorry about the trouble you are having. We are you and your family going to go when you house is sold? Do you have a place to go? > >The emotional toll this disease takes is high. And the meds always make me feel even more emotional (I didn't know that was even possible). > >Please know that none of this is your fault (even the house). All you can do is the best you can do every day. We do not know why we have to travel this road, but there is always a reason. > >Hang in there. > >Fran > > > > >From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> >Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown > >Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 4:53 AM > > > > > > >My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. > >I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 , I understand and I want you to hold on to any hope you can. The good thing is that there is always change, which means bad times get better and we eventually recover from illness (yes, even Lyme). They say there is no cure, but there is help and many do feel better after being treated for a time. My friend told me recently that she and her husband lived in their house for over a year (maybe two?) after not paying their mortgage anymore. She said that their house was put on the " auction block " three times and it was never sold out from under them. There are other options to a short sale, too. We almost filed bankruptcy, but ended up using what the lawyer would have cost to settle out a debt that was three times larger. Go figure. Solutions we can't even see are there. I lost hope so many times, but am here to tell you that there is hope. I always think things are my fault (struggling financially, etc.) because of being sick and out of work for two years. People tell me it isn't my fault and I'm working on remembering that. I spent all the money I had to help support us during this time (my husband was unemployed for a year-and-a-half, too). Federal disability has taken a year and I still haven't gotten anything from them. I do know that crying and letting out our feelings helps to relieve the pressure. Just hang in there. You are worth it. Houses come and go. You are valuable just as you are (we are valuable just as we are). Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 i also am going through the same,my home is in forclosure after 10 yrs of owning.i am not doing so well the antibiotic route. i really wish i could tolerate antibiotics better.i am very interested in the manchester support group if someone could send me info on where it is and when.do you need to contact someone to sign up?i would love to know what natural meds people are using for this disease also. > > From: notlovinlyme <notlovinlyme@...> > Subject: [ ] Emotional breakdown > > Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 3:53 AM > > My name is , I am new to the forum. In November I was finally diagnosed with Lyme 8 years after my tick bite. I have had all the specialized tests done and all came back positive for Lyme and co infections. I am seeing a great LLMD in the Seattle area. > > I just can't stop crying right now and feeling so defeated by this disease. I am just so worn down and sad. Tuesday our home goes on the market because we can no longer pay the mortgage, we will have to do a short sale so we will gain nothing, only lose our home. I feel so quilty for causing this loss and for the burden on my family. If you can offer me any words of encouragement, I would appreciate it greatly. > > > > ------------------------------------ > > Lyme Disease News continually updated from thousands of sources around the > net: http://www.topix.net/health/lyme-disease > > MedWorm: The latest items on: Lyme Disease > http://tinyurl.com/23dgy8 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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