Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Patti R in nh I know you are under an enourmous amount of stress - do you need some support around boundary setting?? We had a situation a few years ago where the kids doc stated that associating with my father was detrimental to their health. I used this statement as support when telling anyone why my children did not see him. (btw - I was delighted to have the doc's backing). Perhaps Molly's doctor can help you and explain that it is not in Molly's best interest for him to remain in the home. Perhaps, this will convince him to change or move out? I too, unfortunatly, also have experienced suicidal children. It took 24 hour care. With Adi we managed with her home, but Tom did spend 6 weeks in the hospital. This was not too traumatic to tom, but it did teach him to conduct himself in a more predictable manner. We continued the bed time routine and that helped us enourmously! During that 6 weeks, we slept hours and hours trying to catch up on lost sleep. We went through feelings of guilt, relief in him finally getting attention from someone else and managed to spend some time as family not in crisis. I can't offer any ideas on the insurance side, but maybe the hospital social worker can get involved? Is there a parent support group you can problem solve with?? Know that we are here for you. Feel free to run ideas by us, or just vent. In the mean time, think about yourself. wendy in canada wb4@... ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Dear Laurie, I really understand the feeling of losing it and the guilt that accompanies it. I often think I am the worst Mom for wanting to just run away from it all. I guess we all go through that. Yesterday I had to take Molly for an emergency psychiatric evaluation. They were seriously contemplating admitting her to a psychiatric hospital because she is so depressed with suicidal ideations. It almost killed me to think of my 12 year old in this situation. I have been sick to my stomach. The worst part is that although my husband keeps saying he is leaving he doesnt. So Molly, and I for that matter, live on eggshells and uncertainity. He had had such a melt down that he actually precipitates huge screaming scenes with her. Molly's psychologist has told me I have to keep Molly away from him right now as much as possible. Martha is calling him for a meeting and I think is going to urge him to go ahead and move out so we have some peace. So I really want to run away. My daughter is suicidal. I get phone calls all day about her. I have to work because obviously we are going to have financial difficulties with the separation. Her insurance company just started denying her mental health because she used her 20 visits and her psychologist wants to up her visits to 2x a week. I am devastated my marriage is ending. I am tired of taking care of a child with so many problems and I just want everyone to leave me alone. I did start taking prozac, but it hasnt kicked in yet. So I really understand the feelings. Maybe there should be a camp for parents of OCDers. I know I need a break, but my reality is I cant have one. Patti R in nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Dear Laurie, I really understand the feeling of losing it and the guilt that accompanies it. I often think I am the worst Mom for wanting to just run away from it all. I guess we all go through that. Yesterday I had to take Molly for an emergency psychiatric evaluation. They were seriously contemplating admitting her to a psychiatric hospital because she is so depressed with suicidal ideations. It almost killed me to think of my 12 year old in this situation. I have been sick to my stomach. The worst part is that although my husband keeps saying he is leaving he doesnt. So Molly, and I for that matter, live on eggshells and uncertainity. He had had such a melt down that he actually precipitates huge screaming scenes with her. Molly's psychologist has told me I have to keep Molly away from him right now as much as possible. Martha is calling him for a meeting and I think is going to urge him to go ahead and move out so we have some peace. So I really want to run away. My daughter is suicidal. I get phone calls all day about her. I have to work because obviously we are going to have financial difficulties with the separation. Her insurance company just started denying her mental health because she used her 20 visits and her psychologist wants to up her visits to 2x a week. I am devastated my marriage is ending. I am tired of taking care of a child with so many problems and I just want everyone to leave me alone. I did start taking prozac, but it hasnt kicked in yet. So I really understand the feelings. Maybe there should be a camp for parents of OCDers. I know I need a break, but my reality is I cant have one. Patti R in nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 From: " Patti R. " <pross@...> > Maybe there should be a camp for parents of OCDers. I know I need a break, but my reality > is I cant have one. If they do come up with one, hopefully it will have a staff that cares for our OCD stricken children at a location other than where we are so we can really enjoy ourselves. I think we all could use the break. Trudy in KC, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Patti, I think your doing a great job with Molly.This is allot to handle. Maybe it is best for right now if your husband does move out.I think for Molly sake,it might be best..Stay on your Prozac ,and try to take one day at a time. Keep writing I know everyone cares about you and Molly.I hope your husband can get so help,he really does need it ( we all do)I'm all for camp,Let me know where and when!Well I'm off to take my dad to the doctor ,I hope my back doesn't go out this time.He dead weight. Love Beth in IN. Re: Re: losing it > From: " Patti R. " <pross@...> > > Dear Laurie, > I really understand the feeling of losing it and the guilt that accompanies > it. I often think I am the worst Mom for wanting to just run away from it > all. I guess we all go through that. > Yesterday I had to take Molly for an emergency psychiatric evaluation. They > were seriously contemplating admitting her to a psychiatric hospital because > she is so depressed with suicidal ideations. It almost killed me to think > of my 12 year old in this situation. I have been sick to my stomach. The > worst part is that although my husband keeps saying he is leaving he doesnt. > So Molly, and I for that matter, live on eggshells and uncertainity. He had > had such a melt down that he actually precipitates huge screaming scenes > with her. Molly's psychologist has told me I have to keep Molly away from > him right now as much as possible. Martha is calling him for a meeting and > I think is going to urge him to go ahead and move out so we have some peace. > > So I really want to run away. My daughter is suicidal. I get phone calls > all day about her. I have to work because obviously we are going to have > financial difficulties with the separation. Her insurance company just > started denying her mental health because she used her 20 visits and her > psychologist wants to up her visits to 2x a week. I am devastated my > marriage is ending. I am tired of taking care of a child with so many > problems and I just want everyone to leave me alone. I did start taking > prozac, but it hasnt kicked in yet. > > So I really understand the feelings. Maybe there should be a camp for > parents of OCDers. I know I need a break, but my reality is I cant have > one. > > Patti R in nh > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as 0.0% > Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW! > 1/937/2/_/531051/_/952520176/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing > listserv@... . > In the body of your message write: > subscribe OCD-L your name. > The Archives and Links List for the OCD and > Parenting List may be accessed by going to > / . > Enter your email address and password. > Click on the highlighted list name and then click on message archives by month or links located in the toolbar. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 I know there are better parents than I (I've seem them on TV), but I too wish I could just blink and make everyone go away-- no pain, just gone. I deserve a better life than this!! My heart hurts for what you're going through. While I would never advocate divorce, I don't think you or Molly can continue with your lives until your husband is gone. My good news is that I seem to have come out of my depression. I'm not quite sure what started it, but I just started taking some adult-ed classes at the local high school, and it seemed to move from there. I share this because 2 weeks ago, I would never have believed this was possible. I believed that my life was about my illness (I have chronic head pain from surgery), my husband not working, and s constant abuse and rage. Wrong. And while I know I'll probably slide down into despair again, I also know that there is another side to it, that happy moments can and do exist in the middle of all that is going wrong. And , as a former English teacher who is always called on to edit and correct everyone's letters, I would never notice your spelling, when your message is always so clearly one of support and caring and valuable information-- never apologize and please don't write one less e mail because you're taking time to correct the ones you've already written! Ellen in NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Thanks Patti in NH I have been reading your posts with the family difficulties thrown in with a child with OCD......and I have been praying for you. I need that " camp for parents of OCDers " , too. Also, while struggling with the parental depression related to having a child with a chronic condition, I begin to miss the ocean terribly. I am from Maine and consider myself a " Mainer in Exile " .......... Thanks again for your note. And good luck with Molly. Your therapist sounds great! Laurie in Wi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2000 Report Share Posted March 15, 2000 Patti, I know this reply is about a week late but I rarely have time to check my emails. I had to reply to your post about losing it!!! I have had the same exact feelings over the past week or so. I have an 8yr old daughter w/ ocd-bipolar & a 6 month old baby. I am the one who has to try to get her off to school EVERY MORNING & the one who gets to see what mood she will be in EVERY AFTERNOON!!! And of course I have the baby to take care of at the same time. We are trying to sell our house so I am suppose to make sure that it stays really clean in case someone wants to come look at it. My husband works long hours so I pretty much have it on my own. I guess I'm having a big pitty party. I don't want sympathy-just understanding from at least one person!!!! Just had to get that off my mind - I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening. Take care, Wanda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2000 Report Share Posted March 16, 2000 Wana , I do understand,It's so hard to keep up a house for selling.I have a few tricks. Box up some things you are not going to need ,put in garage.Now you have some room for hiding things in your closets and draws.Keep clean throw rugs ,just take them out when showing the house,they make things look nice.spay the house or light a candle and let it go .I don't have a baby but ,I have fun keeping my dad's bathroom clean.My dad is in the bathroom so much ,I never knew old people went to the bathroom so much!! Oh Wanda is wish you could see me some days worrying about Norman's dog poop being pick up and my dad not having poop on the toilet.And then there's e's Bed I have to sneak to get a bedspread on her bed so she doesn't see it and have a fit before they come .It's hard when your the ONLY one to do this.Wanda I love you ,please take one day at a time.The last time I talk to you ,you were so down.Remember this, everyone poops in their toilets.The house doesn't need to be perfect.Love Beth in In. Re: Re: losing it > From: swmbrown@... > > Patti, > I know this reply is about a week late but I rarely have time to check my > emails. I had to reply to your post about losing it!!! I have had the same > exact feelings over the past week or so. I have an 8yr old daughter w/ > ocd-bipolar & a 6 month old baby. I am the one who has to try to get her off > to school EVERY MORNING & the one who gets to see what mood she will be in > EVERY AFTERNOON!!! And of course I have the baby to take care of at the same > time. We are trying to sell our house so I am suppose to make sure that it > stays really clean in case someone wants to come look at it. My husband > works long hours so I pretty much have it on my own. I guess I'm having a big > pitty party. I don't want sympathy-just understanding from at least one > person!!!! Just had to get that off my mind - I feel a little better now. > Thanks for listening. > Take care, Wanda > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as 0.0% > Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW! > 1/937/2/_/531051/_/953134948/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing > listserv@... . > In the body of your message write: > subscribe OCD-L your name. > The Archives and Links List for the OCD and > Parenting List may be accessed by going to > / . > Enter your email address and password. > Click on the highlighted list name and then click on message archives by month or links located in the toolbar. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Hi Pam, sorry you andytour daughter are going through such a hard time.. I also wish I could hop in the car and run over and help you..where do you live ??? does the hospital or Dr's office have any advice on any support groups or help that might be available...you shouldn't be going through this alone..you have your friends here on the list..your daughter seems to be going through a major flare..this is probably a stupid question, but is that iv a steroid drip ?? that is what my son had when he was in the hospital and that helped him tremendously..By the way did you ever live in R.I. and see Dr. Alario at Hasbro ? your name sounds famailiar.. I live in town, R.I. we are here for you.. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 I am so sorry you two are going through all this. It must be awful. I hope that your new employer will wait for you. If not, don't despair. When le gets to feeling better things will improve. Do you have family close to you that can help you with le? I'll tell you it makes me want to hop in the car.....whether we know each other or not there will always be that common bond between us. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Distance is an issue, but I want to help make this easier for you both! My thoughts and prayers are with you both today. If you need someone to talk to, get back with me via email and I'll share my phone number. Smiles :-) Dayna Drennan ddrennan@... A wise person once said, " It's the space between the notes that makes the music " . Losing it I'm so overwhelmed today. le has been sick since school started. She has been having a 1000 mg solu-midrol IV since June. All of the meds she is on don't do it. They want to start her on Remicade, but she has had a sinus infection for three weeks and they can't start it. They can't do the solu-midrol now either because of the infection. She is having a lot of pain and the rash is present too. I'm trying to start a new job, but I fear they are going to lose patience with the constant doctor visits and everything. I haven't worked for a year because she is sick so much. Savings have run out, I've had to sell the house and being single is making my options to support us very limited. I just don't know what to do. I think it's all coming in on me. I feel so helpless against this disease. I've always been very independent and able to solve problems easily, but not today. HELP!!!!!!! For links to websites about arthritis and JRA, visit: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Village/8414/Links.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Hi Jane, I think she's near Minnesota, since le sees a Dr. Vehe at U/M. Thanks for caring, Aloha, Georgina Jitz45@... wrote: > > Hi Pam, sorry you andytour daughter are going through such a hard time.. I > also wish I could hop in the car and run over and help you..where do you live > ??? does the hospital or Dr's office have any advice on any support groups or > help that might be available...you shouldn't be going through this alone..you > have your friends here on the list..your daughter seems to be going through a > major flare..this is probably a stupid question, but is that iv a steroid > drip ?? that is what my son had when he was in the hospital and that helped > him tremendously..By the way did you ever live in R.I. and see Dr. Alario at > Hasbro ? your name sounds famailiar.. I live in town, R.I. we are here > for you.. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Hi, I have not had to go there with my daughter (newly diagnosed with JRA) but I have a special needs child who has overwhelmed our finances. He was able to qualify for Medicaid which is a state program. He qualified based on his income not ours. It takes some hoops to jump through but he did qualify. He now is covered by both our insurance and his Medicaid coupon. Some children can qualify for Social Security as well which provides income. It is not easy but is a possibility worth looking into. Good luck. --e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2001 Report Share Posted October 9, 2001 Dear Pam, I understand fully your daily living problems and beings we are so far apart..Kentucky here ...I fear the best advice or help I can give is to seek out those government agencies that are established to help you in these kinds of times. I've lived along time with JRA and Just this year found a lot of agencies that have been at my disposal for years but they don't come seek you out. You have to dig for them...once you find them they are so happy to help (that's my experience so far) Of coarse there's lots of red tape to get through but if it means the chance of a special nurse to care for le when you have to work or special assistance for you monetarily to remain at home ..what ever the need the one organization u should contact is called The Centers For Accesible Living and silc's and other resources. The URL for finding the one closest to you is http://www.bcm.tmc.edu/ilru/jump1.htm This will give you a listing on the minnesota centers and you can contact them for help . They have all kinds of programs like ramp building programs, counseling, etc. the important thing is that even if they can't do much for you they can ussually assign you a counselor who will go to bat and find other programs and means of assistance that do exist but you have to find them. Your an amazing mom Pam, but you have to seek assistance or your health will fail you as well! God Bless you and your family ! Have faith and TAKE ACTION ! FYI The government once gave me a scooter , ramp, whirlpool tub and 70 gallon water heater to fill it ....all to just keep me working ...It took almost 2 yrs of red tape but I reaped the rewards of patience and persistance. Those were my accessed needs at the time, your are problably much different. Just don't take no for an answer...Good Luck! Hang tough Pam life has so many peaks and valleys we just ahve to learn how to rally or resources when we hit the quick sand at the base of the valley's ! :):) Tree :):) Losing it I'm so overwhelmed today. le has been sick since school started. Shehas been having a 1000 mg solu-midrol IV since June. All of the meds she ison don't do it. They want to start her on Remicade, but she has had a sinusinfection for three weeks and they can't start it. They can't do thesolu-midrol now either because of the infection. She is having a lot of painand the rash is present too.I'm trying to start a new job, but I fear they are going to lose patiencewith the constant doctor visits and everything. I haven't worked for a yearbecause she is sick so much. Savings have run out, I've had to sell thehouse and being single is making my options to support us very limited.I just don't know what to do. I think it's all coming in on me. I feel sohelpless against this disease. I've always been very independent and able tosolve problems easily, but not today.HELP!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2002 Report Share Posted August 7, 2002 , Well, no wonder your feet and back hurt when you walk. You're probably in a constant state of dehydration from all the diet pepsi and coffee that you drink. Your muscles are probably in a constant state of tension from all the caffiene. I'm very sad to hear that you are also a cigarette smoker. My uncle and my mother both died of lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. Not only did they die a lot younger than they should have, but their deaths were also very, very painful. As they lay dying they both regretted ever having smoked. I hope you will quit smoking today. Best wishes, Celeste wrote: > Hello ALL: I am addicted to Diet Pepsi, oh well i will quit drinking diet > pepsi, coffee, cigarettes and nutrasweet when: I get a good job and lose 10 > lbs (diets bore me so i have to smooth this unattractive truth) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2002 Report Share Posted August 8, 2002 I agree with this , you need to try to drink about 8 or so glasses of water a day - especially with the heat of summer you need a lot to stay hydraited. coffe and sodas dont do that - one dr once told me that coffee and sodas can actually make you more dehydrated. if you dont like water try gatorade or powerade or flavored water. Also my mom is also a smoker - it dont help any if you have ANY health problems at all. talk to your dr about stuff to help you quit if you descide to- there is a lot out on the market these days that help smokers gradually let go of the habit. My mom has noticed a big difference since she has cut back- she has developed COPD from smoking all these years- do think about quitting and also remember to drink a lot of fluids when exercising - sodas dont count. good luck - Hope >From: " a1thighmaster " <thighmaster@...> >Reply-hypothyroidism >hypothyroidism >Subject: Re: losing it >Date: Wed, 07 Aug 2002 20:50:11 -0000 > >, > >Well, no wonder your feet and back hurt when you walk. You're probably >in a constant state of dehydration from all the diet pepsi and coffee >that you drink. Your muscles are probably in a constant state of >tension from all the caffiene. > >I'm very sad to hear that you are also a cigarette smoker. My uncle >and my mother both died of lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. Not >only did they die a lot younger than they should have, but their >deaths were also very, very painful. As they lay dying they both >regretted ever having smoked. I hope you will quit smoking today. > >Best wishes, >Celeste > > wrote: > > Hello ALL: I am addicted to Diet Pepsi, oh well i will quit drinking > diet > > pepsi, coffee, cigarettes and nutrasweet when: I get a good job and >lose 10 > > lbs (diets bore me so i have to smooth this unattractive truth) > > > _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 In a message dated 1/13/2006 3:11:02 AM Pacific Standard Time, SSRI medications writes: There is a compensation, which comes from loosing emotions, its the ability to see an abuser a mile off . Bingo! Paxil did a similar number on me. It cut off some part of my brain that before would not let me see the facts of a situation -- now I am like a heat-seeking missle when it comes to bullshit and those spewing in, especially when they are hailing psychiatry and its arsenal of deadly mind-altering medications as a boon to society. Glad you survived . Your story is tragic but alas not all that unusual. There's a vet moving into my neighborhood in the Third Word country I will sooon be living in. One of the drugs has suicide and homicide as a side effect. I've warned all in the neighborhood about this guy. I felt bad for outing him, but lord help us if he has guns and misses a dose or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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