What did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

[Guest guest]

Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your thumbs and

reading 27 copies of People Magazine...

Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family members a

few hours away...

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

Jeri

[Guest guest]

Dear Jeri,

I have been in both places, me having revision, and I also waited for another member who traveled to Denver to have revision, so I have been in both shoes. When Carla had revision we had to have her there at 6 a.m. so I picked her up at 5:30 a.m. I was able to stay with her through all the preop stuff, till they took her in at about 7:30. The surgical nurses updated me every couple of hours by phone in the waiting room ( first incision was at 10:00 a.m.), but I'm sure you could set it up so updates come to someones cell, so they don't have to be at the hospital all the time. I left periodically, to eat lunch, get snacks, and walk. The waiting room had stuff you could check out to do, sat with two nice ladies who were waiting for a family member having prostrate cancer surgery, and did a 500 piece puzzle with them. We chatted up a storm and put the puzzle together, and had a great time. I also played cards with another family group, learned Texas holdem with them. Time passed fairly quickly till it hit around 5 p.m., and most of the surgeries were over, and Carla was still in there, then I got bored and watched T.V. ( CNN). Carla was in surgery till 10 p.m. I would ask doc about how long he thinks it will go, and have your hubby there then so he can get your update in person and ask any questions he might have to the surgeon. So my advice is to not have anyone sit there the whole time, and if they do want to be there, make sure they get out and about, as those chairs get pretty uncomfortable real fast. Bring things to do, crafts, cards, a puzzle, a real good book. While it was long, and sometimes boring, I did meet some really nice people, and managed to keep my mind occupied on other stuff.

[ ] What did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your thumbs and reading 27 copies of People Magazine...Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family members a few hours away...Any suggestions?Thanks.Jeri

[Guest guest]

Oh, gosh, I figured I was handling enough details and they could figure that stuff out themselves!

My MIL brought a couple books, but when she needed more she was always asking Hubby to take her to the Hebrew book store, since she's Israeli and doesn't drive. She wouldn't buy more than a couple of books at a time despite his prodding, then ran out and needed another ride. That kept Hubby busy, as I ended up being in there for 6 weeks plus she stayed with us for 2 weeks after I was discharged. Oh, and she was always running out of cigarettes too, and I'm afraid we weren't too sympathetic. She actually managed to get some surreptitiously from a hospital employee, though they were completely contraband on the hospital campus. It's sort of fun remembering the silly side of things. That woman helped me so tremendously, I can't begrudge her the foibles.

Sharon

[ ] What did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your thumbs and reading 27 copies of People Magazine...Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family members a few hours away...Any suggestions?Thanks.Jeri

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure what posessed me to ask this question... it DOES seem a

little obsurd, doesn't it?

I guess I'm planning to ask him what he thinks he'll do, and offer

some suggestions from you who've been through this already.

My hubby is too shy to approach anyone in the waiting room and

probably won't have anyone to sit with, unless he goes to his mom's

house. My MIL and I haven't been terribly close, so not sure if

she'd come to hospital to be with him. Neither son will be there

physically, but I know both will be anxious to know how it's going.

It's supposed to start at 7:30 and go for 10-12 hours, so that's

breakfast, lunch and dinner... and a short nap for me.

Thanks for your experience and suggestions!

Jeri

>

> Oh, gosh, I figured I was handling enough details and they could

figure that stuff out themselves!

>

> My MIL brought a couple books, but when she needed more she was

always asking Hubby to take her to the Hebrew book store, since she's

Israeli and doesn't drive. She wouldn't buy more than a couple of

books at a time despite his prodding, then ran out and needed another

ride. That kept Hubby busy, as I ended up being in there for 6 weeks

plus she stayed with us for 2 weeks after I was discharged. Oh, and

she was always running out of cigarettes too, and I'm afraid we

weren't too sympathetic. She actually managed to get some

surreptitiously from a hospital employee, though they were completely

contraband on the hospital campus. It's sort of fun remembering the

silly side of things. That woman helped me so tremendously, I can't

begrudge her the foibles.

>

> Sharon

>

> [ ] What did your family/friends do while

waiting for you to come out of surgery?

>

>

> Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your

thumbs and

> reading 27 copies of People Magazine...

>

> Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family

members a

> few hours away...

>

> Any suggestions?

>

> Thanks.

> Jeri

>

[Guest guest]

Jeri,

Of course everyone is different, but my husband stayed with me

through the morning work-up right up until they knocked me out. We

knew in advance what the hospital's system was for updating the

designated family members. The morning of the surgery the nurse

coordinator asked who, if anyone, would wait in the hospital but also

had a system in place for them to just call with updates instead.

Then DrRand offered to call DH when he was done, and that clinched

it. I did not want him spending 12 hours waiting in the hospital. Why

put him through that when he could get the same information hanging

out in the hotel or walking around the city? I knew he could be at

the hospital PDQ if anything came up and I had complete confidence

that he would be alerted if he needed to head back to the hosptial

earlier than anticipated.

It turned out that DrRand called as soon as he was done each time

which was almost 2 hours before I was awake (and he was to be

permitted into the recovery room)...so I never noticed the lack of

his presence. If you call your hospital or the doctors office you

might be able to arrange a similar call set up if you or your husband

prefer something similar.

But you are right...your job is to focus on whats happening to

you...everyone elses job is small in comparison. They will figure it

out!

Take Care,

Cam

[Guest guest]

Jeri,

I originally was just going to have my hubby drop me off at the

hospital in the morning (about 2 hours from our house) and then drive

back home and go to work. I didn't see the point of him sitting

around the hospital all day long by himself. But when he told people

at work of the plan, they apparently didn't agree So his boss

sent him home the day before with a laptop so that he could " work "

from the hospital. Bonus - he didn't have to use a vacation day to

sit there all day waiting for updates about my surgery!

You may also want to check to see if you're allowed to use your

cellphone. At Northwestern, I was allowed to use my cellphone

everywhere, including when I was in ICU. Not all hospital have such

lenient rules though. It was a lifesaver for me to be able to call

people, as none of my friends or family were in the " local " calling

area, and nobody stayed with me out there. I did have an outrageous

cellphone bill that month though

And some hospitals have wireless access if you bring your own

laptop. And my rehab center had a computer that anyone on the floor

could use, so I was on there doing emails as soon as I transferred

there. It was so nice to have a link to the " outside world " , because

I was gone from home for about 6 weeks.

>

> I'm not sure what posessed me to ask this question... it DOES seem

a

> little obsurd, doesn't it?

>

> I guess I'm planning to ask him what he thinks he'll do, and offer

> some suggestions from you who've been through this already.

>

> My hubby is too shy to approach anyone in the waiting room and

> probably won't have anyone to sit with, unless he goes to his mom's

> house. My MIL and I haven't been terribly close, so not sure if

> she'd come to hospital to be with him. Neither son will be there

> physically, but I know both will be anxious to know how it's going.

>

> It's supposed to start at 7:30 and go for 10-12 hours, so that's

> breakfast, lunch and dinner... and a short nap for me.

>

> Thanks for your experience and suggestions!

> Jeri

>

[Guest guest]

What is a MIL?

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of bocce_fun

Sent: Wednesday, January 23, 2008

7:20 PM

To:

Subject: [ ] What

did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

Just wondering if there's anything other than

twiddling your thumbs and

reading 27 copies of People Magazine...

Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family members a

few hours away...

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

Jeri

[Guest guest]

Mother-In-Law

RE: [ ] What did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

What is a MIL?

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of bocce_funSent: Wednesday, January 23, 2008 7:20 PM Subject: [ ] What did your family/friends do while waiting for you to come out of surgery?

Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your thumbs and reading 27 copies of People Magazine...Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family members a few hours away...Any suggestions?Thanks.Jeri

[Guest guest]

that reminds me of when I had surgery for the ovarian tumors. My

mother-in-law and my sister-in-law came to the hospital and sat with

us in the pre-op area. I thought it was really sweet of them, but

they let me know that they came because they knew my husband would be

a basket case. They took him out to eat once I was wheeled into

surgery.

I think he went back to the apartment and took a nap during my

revision surgery. I also think that one of my Neil Diamond friends

who lives in St Louis may have come and kept him company a little

later in the day.

> >

> > Oh, gosh, I figured I was handling enough details and they could

> figure that stuff out themselves!

> >

> > My MIL brought a couple books, but when she needed more she was

> always asking Hubby to take her to the Hebrew book store, since

she's

> Israeli and doesn't drive. She wouldn't buy more than a couple of

> books at a time despite his prodding, then ran out and needed

another

> ride. That kept Hubby busy, as I ended up being in there for 6

weeks

> plus she stayed with us for 2 weeks after I was discharged. Oh,

and

> she was always running out of cigarettes too, and I'm afraid we

> weren't too sympathetic. She actually managed to get some

> surreptitiously from a hospital employee, though they were

completely

> contraband on the hospital campus. It's sort of fun remembering

the

> silly side of things. That woman helped me so tremendously, I

can't

> begrudge her the foibles.

> >

> > Sharon

> >

> > [ ] What did your family/friends do

while

> waiting for you to come out of surgery?

> >

> >

> > Just wondering if there's anything other than twiddling your

> thumbs and

> > reading 27 copies of People Magazine...

> >

> > Got a hubby, MIL and a few friends in town, and a few family

> members a

> > few hours away...

> >

> > Any suggestions?

> >

> > Thanks.

> > Jeri

> >

>