from Debbie

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the input. I have short and long term disability (Thank

God). My problem is that I'm a crisis teacher. I deal with crisis

within the school which in middle school is all day long. The kids

come to me with their problems. They're the easy ones. It's the

teacher's coming with THEIR behavior problems is the hardest. And we

have a totally new program with a principal and asst. principal who

have never done alternative ed. Let alone set a program up. I've

been doing this a long time so they became reliant upon me for most

everything. I've been out of work since the end of Sept. and nothing

is getting done and the school is literallly following apart. I know

that the world goes on without me. I also know it's their

responsibility to take care of it. None of that is upsetting me

now. I just know that when I go back I'm going to be expected to fix

a lot of things. All of which are very stressful. I know I'm not

the only one dealing with stress. I just don't understand the

consequences of it to my body which is most important to me now.

Also, working around kids, I'm always sick. I guess I'm just trying

to look at the " what ifs " . I need a plan. It also helps keep my

mind off of my fear of the disease. I'm feeling so very vulnerable

right now. I had to call my mom and ask her to come help. I'm 44yrs

old. I've always found a way to handle everything.

I do know that everything is going to be alright eventually. I'm

running out of patience. I listen to everyone else who have and

still are dealing with AIH and all the other stuff that comes with it

for years. I guess my big goal is to learn to change my way of

thinking :?0 I was finally getting my diabetes under control. I had

planed a year of health. We sure don't always get what we plan on.

I'm sorry if I'm whinning and bringing others down. I figure you all

know better than anyone what I'm going through.

Hugs,

Debbie