Jitters @ Weight and revision surgery & looking in the mirror

[Guest guest]

As I look over what I wrote below, I realize that it's probably just

the latest of my pre-surgery jitters. Regardless, here's my latest

whining...

I'm at least 50 lbs overweight -- a number that is being kind to myself.

I'm wondering if any of you had the same situation at your revision

date. And if so, how it went for you losing weight while/after

recovering.

Dr.T did not say anything about my weight at my appt with him in

November. But I read an account of how the patient is positioned for

the surgery... and a note of how an obese person's belly needs to be

supported differently. It makes perfect sense, but I feel embarrassed

about the idea.

I've had moments when I eat right, and then plenty of others when I

just give up and eat because I'm hurting, or because I haven't looked

in a full length mirror lately. Hubby set up my recumbent trike for

indoor use a few weeks ago, and I use it, but loosing weight feels so

hopeless.

I avoid full length mirrors because of weight, but also the twisted-

craned-neck-hunched-bent-over sort of look. That's not how I feel

inside... just like I don't feel 53 inside either (more like 35 at

most).

It's a shock that I look so broken down and old. I try not to cry, so I

try not to look.

Thanks for reading all this.

Jeri