Fwd: Why New Years Resolutions (or any goal) Often Fail and What to Do About It

[Guest guest]

Dear Sedona Method Friend:

Happy New Year from everyone at Sedona Training Associates.

We live in a highly goal oriented society and one of the times this is most evident is around New Years. Year after year we make and break our New Years resolutions only to do it again the next year with greater urgency and less expectation for success. There are a few simple things you can do to break this cycle and start keeping your resolutions and achieving your goals in general.

Make sure that your goals or resolutions are truly your own.

Many of us set goals or intentions that we think we should get or have to get or are what we are suppose to get yet are not what we truly want. We spend a lot of time “shoulding” on ourselves with relation to what we would like to change or improve in our lives that we become increasingly resistant and unable to follow through with constructive action. I highly recommend that you do your best to stop “shoulding on yourself and start being more open to following what is truly in your heart.

Often the problem is not what we do not have but our lack of acceptance and appreciation of what is already in our experience.

Allow yourself to review your past year and from this perspective. What am I wanting to change from this past year? Then allow yourself to recall one item at a time and ask yourself “Could I let go of wanting to change that? The more you let go of wanting to change what has already happened, the more likely you are to accept the past and present as it is. It also makes it a lot the less likely for your to repeat the mistakes of the past. And as you accept what is now it becomes a lot easier for you to actually change what needs to be changed and allow the rest to be.

Allow yourself to review what you already have from this perspective.

Ask yourself this question “What can I be grateful for now?” Whatever comes to mind ask yourself: “Could I allow myself to Welcome, accept, allow or even embrace this sense of gratitude?” As you deepen your gratitude for what you already have you open yourself to enjoying the abundance that is already here and now and you open yourself to allowing even more bounty into your life.

I highly recommend that you follow these simple guidelines if you are setting any New Years resolutions (or any goal):

· Phrase your resolution or goal in the NOW, as though it is already achieved. Most of us fall into the trap of thinking that we’re going to create what we want in the future. But the future never seems to come. How many times have you said to ourself, “I’ll do that tomorrow,” and you didn’t do it? Whenever you’re holding in mind, “I’m going to do this later,” or “…next week,” or “…next year,” you’re projecting your goal forward. Phrasing it as a future event tends to keep it always out of reach.

This reminds me of a clever sign that one of my British students saw in a pub, which read: Free Beer Tomorrow. Nobody was ever able to collect on that offer!

· Phrase your resolution or goal in the positive. Put in what you want, not what you don’t want. Focus on the solution. Your goal statement should reflect the end result that you’d like to achieve. Avoid including anything you want to get rid of in your statement, because keeping in mind what you don’t want creates it. What if you would like to stop smoking, for instance? It would be inappropriate to phrase your goal: “I allow myself to stop smoking.”

The mind doesn’t translate words of negation, such as not, don’t, or stop, because it thinks in pictures? Right now, try not to think of a white elephant, and what do you think of? A white elephant.

Always put something in the goal that the mind can visualize. For example, “I allow myself to be a nonsmoker.” You can picture being a nonsmoker, as that’s something you can see—other people who aren’t smoking. You can also imagine a kinesthetic sensation of breathing deeply and freely or climbing a long flight of stairs without gasping for air. It makes a huge difference to word your goals in this manner.

· Your resolution or goal should feel realistic and right for you. It should seem possible—with a sense of “I can have it!” Suppose you are making $1,000 a week, but what you’d really like to earn is $10,000 a week. Upping your income from $1,000 to $10,000 might be too big a jump for you to accept in a single goal statement. Instead, you might start by wording the goal, “I allow myself to effortlessly make $2,500 a week.” That’s a stretch from where you currently are, but it seems more realistic.

The more attainable you make a goal—phrased so the mind can at least accept it as a possibility—the more easily you’ll be able to release the obstacles that you hold within you toward that goal’s achievement.

· Be precise and concise. Focus on one goal per statement. Don’t diffuse your energy by creating multiple goals. Also, use as few words as possible, while being sure to make it a complete statement of what you want. Choose the exact words that convey a specific meaning that makes you feel enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is important.

Years ago, a man in a workshop set up a goal: “I allow myself to have an abundant income, so that I can have a new sports car, a house in the country, the maids to take care of the second house, and the perfect woman to have a relationship with to share all this.” As you can see, there were several goals within that one goal, and they were pulling him in different directions. The instructor helped the man simplify his goal by breaking it down into specific individual goals. They then created an umbrella goal that was appropriate for the whole situation: “I allow myself to have all the good things in life and enjoy them.” See how that includes everything?

· Be specific, but not limiting. Leave things as open as possible to allow for your results being upgraded from what you initially project.

· Eliminate the word “want.” Wanting bars you from having. Would you rather want to have a lot of money, or would you rather have a lot of money? Would you rather want the perfect relationship, or would you rather have the perfect relationship? Would you rather want good health, or would you rather have good health? “Want” is always equated with a feeling of lack or deprivation, so avoid putting the feeling of lack in your goal statement.

· State the end result, not the means of achieving it. Let’s go back to the earlier example of netting an income of $2,500 a week. When you phrase your goal statement, don’t explain how you’re going to get the money. I’ve seen people word statements like: “I allow myself to make $2,500 a week by working eighteen hours a day, six days a week,” and a whole list of other actions that they thought they needed to take in order to achieve their goals. In fact, these are limitations. The actions we think we need to take very often have absolutely nothing to do with the goal itself. They’re just artificial obstacles that we’re putting in the way.

You’ll learn to release specifically on each action step you can take. Always allow for the unexpected. What if someone gives you a large amount of money? What if you win the lottery? There are so many things that could happen to allow a goal to come into your awareness.

· Word your resolution or goal so it relates to courage, acceptance, or peace. “I allow myself to...,” “I can...,” or, “I open myself to…” are good ways to begin a goal in courageousness. “I have...” is a good way to begin a goal in acceptance. “I am...” is a good way to begin a goal in peace. These ways of starting a goal statement enable the mind to use its creativity to generate possibilities of how the goal can happen.

By the way, if you’re not feeling courageous yet about a particular goal, getting there will be a great step forward. Later on, you can always reword the goal to raise the energy even higher to acceptance or peace.

Following the above simple guidelines will make a tremendous difference for you as you pursue your goals and resolutions.

Lastly allow yourself to let go as best you can of all the thoughts and feelings about your past failures with goals and resolutions and about the specific intentions that you have for this next year. By letting go you create the space in your awareness for true happiness and effective achievement.

Love,

Hale

P.S. This is just a small sample of what you can gain from the Sedona Method Audio Course. Plus, for the next week save 20% and receive free shipping if you use this link https://www.sedona.com/order-forms/order-12-29.html.

Hale Dwoskin

President

Sedona Press &

Sedona Training Associates

Transforming Minds, Transforming Lives, Worldwide

Publishers of The New York Times Best Seller

The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being & #1 Best Selling Happiness Is Free and It’s Easier Than You Think

See a recorded interview about The Sedona Method with excerpts from the book by visiting:

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