Update from Arkansas..I found hope!

[Guest guest]

Hi Group,

When I joined this group I was a whooped puppy, tail between legs,

hurting and ready to give up and die. I have a herniated L4 and 5

disc, spinal stenosis and hurt every second of everyday. All I had

and don't get me wrong, my pain pills, which I am still thankful

for. I had a bad year that year. A mule had beat me down, I fell

through a floor and then fell out of a truck backwards on my head.

My left leg was shot. The nerve damage left me draging my left leg

which was numb and to a degree still numb on the arch. I went to

doctor after doctor. I've been through all kinds of tests from MRIs

to that cattle prod thingy. I went to the pain managment guy and had

the series of epidurals which did not work and left me with a gosh

awful rash on my back. I've worn braces and used a tens unit.

Sometimes the thought of living like that for the rest of my life

would really get to me. I oozed negativity. I'd cry, become so

angry, my family life really sucked. My job did not help things. I

work 32 hours a weekend on concrete.

Finally I decided, today, as I once heard, is a good day to die,

meaning, get up, face down this thing and fight. Either it would

kill me or I'd kill it, but one of us me or the constant pain was

going.

I got a doctors referal to join a health club so it didn't cost too

much. The people there are really great. They set me up with

exercises to strengthen those muscles I've let dwindle away. I'm not

saying going and working out doesn't hurt and there are days I'd

rather not but it's those days that I know I really need to go. I do

water exercises, yoga, Tai Chi and work out in the weight room three

times a week. I watch my diet, eat 6 small meals a day, try to keep

those muscles fed right. I've found my fluid intake was severely

inadequate. I also take supplements to help rebuild my joints and

bone density.

I feel better. I don't hurt near as much. It's only been a few weeks

and I'm starting to get proud of the way I look again. I'm starting

to beleive I still can live out my dream of becoming a paramedic.

Today some one said that even my face is different, that I look

confident and at peace.

I spent three years in hell. I had come to think of myself as

disabled and my only future was one of increasing pain and

hopelessness.

I had always kind of thought people who recomended exercise as a way

to treat disc and spine damage as kooky but not any more. The

stronger my core muscles become the better I feel. At 48, I'm back

in a bikini and holding myself proud. Sure I still hurt, yoga is

murder sometimes but no pain no gain huh, ha, if pain is gain then

my pockets should be full.

sorry this post is so long but it feels good to have something good

to report at last. I just had to share.

Love you guys, you've been an inspiration.

Terry